When You Leave Religion, You Shouldn’t Have to Lose Community Too

There’s this quiet grief that hits a lot of people after they leave religion—and it’s not about God. It’s about people. The potlucks. The singing. The shared calendar and casual check-ins and the hundred little ways religion felt like home.

It’s not just about what you stopped believing. It’s about what you stopped belonging to.

And for those of us who’ve never had a church to leave, we see you. We get it. Because even without a deconversion story, many of us have lived without that built-in support system our whole lives—and it’s lonely.

The truth is: finding secular community can be hard. Not because it doesn’t exist, but because it hasn’t had centuries to build cathedrals and routines. We're still figuring it out.

But you're not alone in this. Not even close.

It’s Not Just You. This Is Bigger Than That.

There’s a reason so many people feel adrift after leaving faith. Religion comes with a social operating system—services, volunteer roles, milestones, support in crisis. And when that disappears? There's no obvious replacement.

But the need for connection doesn’t disappear with belief.

We still want to celebrate births, mourn deaths, ask for help, give help, find meaning. We still want to be seen. We want friendships that don’t hinge on shared doctrine. We want rituals that aren’t tethered to myths—but still mean something.

And those things are possible. They just take more intention now.

Where Secular People Start Finding Each Other

Many begin online. It’s not perfect, but it's a lifeline.

Meetup.com is still one of the best tools for finding others in your area who identify as atheist, agnostic, secular, humanist, skeptic—whatever label fits. You might stumble onto a “Freethinkers Book Club,” a “Skeptics Who Hike” group, or a dinner meetup for people who just want to talk about life without invoking a higher power.

Facebook Groups can be surprisingly active too. Search your city plus words like “atheist,” “secular,” “humanist,” or “freethinkers.” These groups often serve as community bulletin boards, sharing events, fundraisers, and sometimes just someone saying “I’m struggling today. Anyone else?”

Sometimes, that’s all we need—to not feel like we’re doing this alone.

Not Just Social—Structural: Organizations That Support the Godless

For those wanting more than just casual meetups, there are organizations out there doing real, grounded work.

• American Atheists has local affiliates all over the U.S., hosting events, advocating for church/state separation, and offering a place to connect with others walking a similar path.

• The American Humanist Association centers ethics, meaning-making, and community without superstition. Their chapters are welcoming spaces to have deeper conversations about purpose and values.

• Recovering From Religion provides peer-support networks for people leaving faith, especially for those navigating the emotional fallout, guilt, fear, or family rejection that often comes with it.

Leaving religion is not just an intellectual decision. It’s a deeply personal transition. These groups know that. They’re built with compassion in mind.

If You Miss the Ritual—There’s a Place for That Too

Not everyone wants it, but for those who miss the structure of religious gatherings—singing together, hearing talks, celebrating life—there’s Sunday Assembly.

It’s a secular gathering built to offer that sense of ritual and joy without gods, guilt, or dogma. There’s music, storytelling, shared reflection. You might hear someone talk about climate action or resilience instead of a sermon. And you’ll likely meet people who understand what it means to start over socially, not just spiritually.

It’s not a replacement for faith—it’s a new kind of gathering for people who believe in each other.

It’s Okay If It’s Still Hard

Some people leave religion and immediately find their new tribe. But for many, it’s a slow, sometimes painful process.

It takes trial and error. Some groups won’t fit. Some events might feel awkward. You might walk into a room and wonder if you're doing the right thing. That’s normal.

But the more we show up for each other, the easier it gets. The more we create and share space—book clubs, game nights, volunteer projects, online discussions—the more we’re stitching together the kind of community we all deserve.

You don’t need a church to be connected. You don’t need a pastor to be loved. You just need people. And they’re out there.

If You Can’t Find It, You Can Help Build It

Sometimes, what you’re looking for doesn’t exist yet. That’s not a failure—that’s an opportunity.

It doesn’t take a degree in theology or social work to start a secular meetup. All it takes is one person saying, “Hey, want to grab coffee and talk about life without religion?”

That one conversation can grow into a monthly hangout. That hangout can grow into a community. And that community can change someone’s life—including yours.

We’ve seen it happen. We’ve been part of it. And we’ll keep showing up.

A Place You Can Join Right Now

If you’re looking for an easy, welcoming place to connect with people who get it—we’ve got a Discord community you can jump into. No pressure. No preaching. Just conversation, support, and a whole lot of irreverent humor.

We host live podcast chats every Tuesday at 10pm EST and every 4th Sunday at 2pm EST. Sometimes we joke. Sometimes we vent. Sometimes we just hang out and be human.

Join here 👉 https://discord.gg/VBnyTYV6nC

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Whether you left religion last week or never believed in the first place, your need for connection is valid. It’s human.

And even if it takes a little work, there is a place for you.

Not a pew. Not a pulpit. Just people.

Right here. Still asking questions. Still laughing. Still building something better—together.