Bible Study by Atheists Weekly: Jonah Chapters 1 - 4 plus Q&A/Wrap Up, Contradictions and Specials!

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[00:02:24] Do you know what we're doing today?

[00:02:27] Well, we're starting a new book. And we're starting a little late. And I have to blame myself a little bit. I've been...

[00:02:34] I blame your brother.

[00:02:35] ...under the weather a bit.

[00:02:36] I blame your brother's kids.

[00:02:37] Right. Yeah, that's part of it. So if you hear me sniffling throughout this one, that's partly why. But yesterday I just was too tired to even function. So...

[00:02:47] But I'm coming back. I'm here.

[00:02:49] Your brother and his kids are lovely.

[00:02:51] They are.

[00:02:52] But they always get one of us sick. It's usually me. So the fact that this time it's husband...

[00:02:57] Right. Yeah.

[00:02:58] ...maybe says something.

[00:02:59] Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:03:00] So what are we hopping into with this new book?

[00:03:03] We're starting Jonah.

[00:03:05] We are. I hear whales.

[00:03:08] Maybe. Not really, but maybe. Kind of. Yes.

[00:03:12] Got it. Yeah. Okay. That's specific. And...

[00:03:15] Hmm.

[00:03:15] Okay. So are you ready to get started on this?

[00:03:18] Oh, I am.

[00:03:19] All right.

[00:03:20] And I'm kind of enthusiastic about it, too.

[00:03:22] Oh. Well, that's good.

[00:03:23] That's a change.

[00:03:24] Yeah, let's do this.

[00:03:25] Okie dokie.

[00:03:32] All right. Are you ready to hop into Jonah?

[00:03:34] I am.

[00:03:35] Okay. Before we start chapter one, there's some things that I got to say.

[00:03:39] Okay.

[00:03:39] Okay. First of all, there's only four chapters in this book.

[00:03:43] Oh, really?

[00:03:44] Yeah. Super short.

[00:03:45] Dang.

[00:03:46] Super short. Like, we're going to finish it this week.

[00:03:48] Speaking of which, I do want to say real quick, we are going to make up a day midweek here.

[00:03:53] So, like, Thursday, basically.

[00:03:54] Thursday-ish.

[00:03:55] Yeah.

[00:03:55] So we will catch up to the regular schedule.

[00:03:57] Because I want to have this book knocked out.

[00:04:00] Yeah. We're going to be done. Right. Yeah.

[00:04:00] Okay. All right.

[00:04:01] So there's that.

[00:04:02] Okay?

[00:04:03] Yeah.

[00:04:03] That's the first thing.

[00:04:05] Yeah.

[00:04:05] Here's the second thing.

[00:04:06] Even though there's only four chapters, there is so much fucking info about this dude and his dad

[00:04:13] and where it was and what happened and everybody's thoughts on it.

[00:04:17] And I found it kind of ludicrous, quite frankly.

[00:04:22] Okay.

[00:04:22] How much there was to sift through.

[00:04:25] Well, we're in the minor prophets, right?

[00:04:27] Yes!

[00:04:27] That's what I'm saying.

[00:04:28] He's a fucking minor prophet.

[00:04:30] There's only four goddamn chapters.

[00:04:32] Well, I got to be honest, though.

[00:04:33] He's the only minor prophet that I know anything about.

[00:04:36] Like, it's before hopping into the Bible, right?

[00:04:39] Okay. Well, I'll get there in a minute.

[00:04:41] But do you know how fucking famous he is?

[00:04:43] Pretty famous.

[00:04:44] He's the only minor prophet that is in the Koran and that is praised by all three Abrahamic religions.

[00:04:53] Oh.

[00:04:53] Okay.

[00:04:54] All right.

[00:04:55] Interesting.

[00:04:55] So, I mean, they all have a Jonah story.

[00:04:58] I see.

[00:04:58] I mean, obviously, the Jews and the Christians along with, you know, the Catholics are Christian or whatever.

[00:05:06] I'm not sure how that all works.

[00:05:07] But you know what I mean.

[00:05:08] All of them kind of share the Old Testament, you know?

[00:05:11] But even the Koran, which is like Old Testament, you know.

[00:05:18] Adjacent.

[00:05:19] Adjacent.

[00:05:19] That's the word I was looking for.

[00:05:21] Yeah.

[00:05:21] Adjacent.

[00:05:22] Like, I had it in my head as I started the sentence and then it, like, went.

[00:05:26] Right.

[00:05:26] Yeah.

[00:05:27] So, but they all have that common bond.

[00:05:31] Got it.

[00:05:31] Okay.

[00:05:31] But let's talk about Jonah a little bit.

[00:05:33] You know, I always like to do a little intro.

[00:05:35] Yeah.

[00:05:36] Before we do the book.

[00:05:37] Sure.

[00:05:37] Who the fuck's Jonah?

[00:05:38] Who the fuck is Jonah?

[00:05:39] Okay.

[00:05:40] He's the son of Amittai.

[00:05:42] Yeah.

[00:05:42] Who the fuck is Amittai?

[00:05:44] He's a good guy.

[00:05:44] Right.

[00:05:45] Amittai the good guy.

[00:05:47] Amittai the good guy.

[00:05:49] We'll talk about him in a little bit, but there's not much to say about him.

[00:05:52] Got it.

[00:05:52] Okay.

[00:05:53] Yeah.

[00:05:53] He's also known as Jonas.

[00:05:56] Jonah, Jonas.

[00:05:58] Okay.

[00:05:58] Now, what I find interesting is that he's also referred to as Eunice with a Y, which is very

[00:06:07] similar, you know?

[00:06:08] Right.

[00:06:08] It just depends on whether you're referring to the Hebrew pronunciation or all those other

[00:06:18] languages that I don't know.

[00:06:21] Greek and whatever.

[00:06:23] And whatever.

[00:06:23] Yeah.

[00:06:24] I'm sorry.

[00:06:24] Arabic.

[00:06:25] That's the one.

[00:06:26] That's the one I was looking for.

[00:06:27] Thank you.

[00:06:28] Okay.

[00:06:28] I don't have a problem with words.

[00:06:30] You have a problem with words.

[00:06:31] What?

[00:06:32] What?

[00:06:32] That's how it is.

[00:06:34] When I can't think of a word, you have to fill it in.

[00:06:36] I see.

[00:06:37] And if you can't fill it in, then it's you that has the problem, not me.

[00:06:42] Yeah.

[00:06:42] Everybody knows you're smarter than I am.

[00:06:45] So, I'm laying this at your feet.

[00:06:48] Okay.

[00:06:48] So, I knew a guy when I was in school.

[00:06:52] His name was Jonas Todd.

[00:06:54] Okay.

[00:06:55] And I had never heard of somebody named Jonas before.

[00:06:58] But, A, he was such a cool guy.

[00:07:02] And, B, his name was so fucking cool.

[00:07:05] And it, like, fit him.

[00:07:06] He was very exuberant.

[00:07:08] Like, very, just, not obnoxious, just, like, really loud and fun.

[00:07:14] And Jonas just fit him.

[00:07:16] Got it.

[00:07:17] Yeah.

[00:07:17] So, anyway, now I understand, oh, it was a Bible name and I just didn't know it.

[00:07:23] Right.

[00:07:23] There's a lot of things that are in the Bible that we didn't know in the Bible.

[00:07:26] Yeah.

[00:07:26] Yeah.

[00:07:26] Like, we've discovered a lot.

[00:07:28] Like, as we're just, like, sifting through, you know, media.

[00:07:31] Right.

[00:07:31] We've discovered that there's all these references that we've never caught until we started reading the Bible.

[00:07:36] Exactly.

[00:07:36] Exactly.

[00:07:37] And I'm sure it'll become even more prevalent when we get into the New Testament.

[00:07:40] Sure.

[00:07:40] Yeah.

[00:07:41] Yeah.

[00:07:41] I just, like, that's apropos of nothing.

[00:07:44] Right?

[00:07:45] It doesn't matter at all.

[00:07:46] Except that, oh, he came from probably a religious family.

[00:07:52] I didn't know that.

[00:07:54] Oh, his family probably, you know, was all, all of his siblings.

[00:07:59] I'm going to say yes or no.

[00:08:00] Because, I mean, there's a lot of people that just use biblical names.

[00:08:03] For example, there are other names that, you know, my parents named me after a biblical person, but it wasn't, I wasn't actually named after that.

[00:08:12] Okay.

[00:08:13] But, yeah, you were not named after that biblical person.

[00:08:17] Right.

[00:08:17] So, no, that wasn't a, let's have a Bible name.

[00:08:21] Right.

[00:08:22] I'm saying Jonas is not, like, a name that you hear frequently.

[00:08:29] Sure.

[00:08:29] So, I'm just going to guess that it was a biblical name.

[00:08:35] Okay.

[00:08:35] Anyway, I just, I found the whole thing fascinating.

[00:08:37] Sure.

[00:08:38] Okay.

[00:08:38] Okay.

[00:08:39] So, I don't care if other people don't care.

[00:08:42] Because I thought it was interesting.

[00:08:44] You got it.

[00:08:45] Is what I'm saying.

[00:08:45] All right.

[00:08:45] Personally.

[00:08:46] Yeah.

[00:08:46] Okay?

[00:08:47] Yeah.

[00:08:47] All right.

[00:08:59] In the Hebrew Bible, he's from Gath Heifer in the northern kingdom of Israel around 8th century BCE.

[00:09:08] Okay.

[00:09:08] Okay.

[00:09:08] All right.

[00:09:09] Yeah.

[00:09:09] He's the central figure of the book, Jonah, you know.

[00:09:12] Obviously.

[00:09:13] Named after him.

[00:09:13] Yeah.

[00:09:14] Which, this book details Jonah's reluctance in delivering the judgment of God to the city of Nineveh, which is near present-day Mosul.

[00:09:24] Am I saying that right?

[00:09:25] Mosul?

[00:09:26] Mosul.

[00:09:27] Yeah.

[00:09:27] Okay.

[00:09:28] In the Neo-Assyrian Empire.

[00:09:30] Okay.

[00:09:31] So, like, I never knew how he ended up in the whale.

[00:09:34] He ends up in the whale.

[00:09:35] We're going to read about it.

[00:09:37] But the whole story is about him not wanting to deliver God's word.

[00:09:41] Got it.

[00:09:41] So, he was a reluctant hero.

[00:09:44] I see.

[00:09:45] That's how we would refer to him in the writing world.

[00:09:47] Yeah.

[00:09:48] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:09:48] Okay?

[00:09:48] He was like, no thanks.

[00:09:49] Count me out.

[00:09:50] Right, right.

[00:09:51] Okay.

[00:09:51] So, after he's swallowed by a huge sea creature, the Hebrew word, which means large fish.

[00:10:00] Yeah.

[00:10:00] He's then released and he returns to the divine mission.

[00:10:04] Okay.

[00:10:05] All right.

[00:10:06] So, the reason that I'm emphasizing large fish is because it wasn't necessarily a whale.

[00:10:12] Sure.

[00:10:12] We just, like, decided that that's...

[00:10:14] Some large fish.

[00:10:15] Yeah.

[00:10:16] It's just a whale.

[00:10:17] You know?

[00:10:18] It's just convenient to say whale because...

[00:10:19] Yeah, because they're big.

[00:10:20] Right.

[00:10:21] And there's oxygen in there.

[00:10:22] Right.

[00:10:22] Sure.

[00:10:23] He could probably live about three days.

[00:10:25] No.

[00:10:26] I don't know.

[00:10:27] No.

[00:10:27] There's stories.

[00:10:28] I'm pretty sure it's not proven.

[00:10:29] I'm pretty sure it's been proven to be false.

[00:10:31] Okay, there is a story, and I will have to look it up, but there is a news story within

[00:10:36] the past couple years, that's how recent, of a guy who claims that he was swallowed by

[00:10:42] a whale and came out.

[00:10:45] No.

[00:10:45] I'm not saying whether it's true or not.

[00:10:49] Right.

[00:10:50] He claims this.

[00:10:51] It is true that he claims this.

[00:10:52] Okay.

[00:10:53] This is a true news story.

[00:10:54] Got it.

[00:10:55] Okay?

[00:10:55] Yeah.

[00:10:55] Now, whether he's full of shit or not is a question.

[00:10:59] Yeah.

[00:10:59] Well, I'm just going to let you know that Google says you absolutely could not live in

[00:11:04] a whale for three days.

[00:11:05] I mean, look, who am I to argue with God of the Bible?

[00:11:10] Okay?

[00:11:10] I think that Google needs to have a talk with God and get back to me.

[00:11:14] Okay.

[00:11:15] Okay?

[00:11:16] Especially because, like, Google, if you ask AI certain things, like the Google Gemini

[00:11:23] thing, if you ask it certain political things, even still, even though the election is done,

[00:11:29] it still will not tell you political stuff.

[00:11:31] Sure.

[00:11:31] No, I get it.

[00:11:32] And I'm like, fuck off.

[00:11:32] But it's giving me reasons why you couldn't.

[00:11:34] Right.

[00:11:34] And it seems pretty reasonable to me.

[00:11:36] Yeah.

[00:11:36] If you take the Bible out of it, if you take politics out of it, then it'll answer your

[00:11:41] question.

[00:11:42] Right.

[00:11:42] Right.

[00:11:42] You have to just know how to phrase the questions.

[00:11:45] Right.

[00:11:45] Yes.

[00:11:45] But you can't, like, if you said, could Jonah have lived, could Jonah of the Bible, whose

[00:11:51] father was Amittai, could he have totally lived in the whale for three days?

[00:11:58] Or is the Bible full of shit?

[00:12:00] It would be like, I don't want to get involved in the, don't put me in the middle.

[00:12:05] It's like, no, I'm asking for facts, bro.

[00:12:08] Okay.

[00:12:09] So anyway, in Judaism, the story of Jonah represents the teaching of repentance in Judaism and the

[00:12:17] ability to repent to God for forgiveness.

[00:12:20] Okay.

[00:12:20] Okay.

[00:12:21] Yeah.

[00:12:21] This is important because there are several Christian scholars, quote unquote, who claim that Jonah

[00:12:31] is a precursor to the Jesus story.

[00:12:35] Oh.

[00:12:35] He's a pre-Jesus.

[00:12:37] I see.

[00:12:37] Because he's like, why me, God?

[00:12:41] No, I don't want to.

[00:12:43] And then he is going into the whale and then coming out three days later.

[00:12:50] Oh.

[00:12:51] Yeah.

[00:12:52] I see.

[00:12:52] Yeah.

[00:12:53] Yeah.

[00:12:53] Similar story.

[00:12:54] Similar story.

[00:12:55] Got it.

[00:12:55] So they're like, he's so like Jesus, that whole didn't want to and three days later.

[00:13:01] And I'm like, yeah, except he wasn't the son of God.

[00:13:04] And it was Old Testament, not New Testament.

[00:13:07] And Christians get your own fucking religion.

[00:13:10] Sure.

[00:13:11] I mean, so many.

[00:13:12] Well, we heard.

[00:13:12] Just being in the Old Testament, we've talked about how the Old Testament seems to inform

[00:13:17] a lot of the things in the New Testament.

[00:13:19] And obviously, you know, the New Testament came after the Old Testament.

[00:13:24] Yeah.

[00:13:24] And therefore, it was easy to pick and choose what they wanted to make the New Testament.

[00:13:29] Yes.

[00:13:29] You know?

[00:13:30] And so I feel like that's not entirely untrue.

[00:13:34] You know?

[00:13:34] Yeah.

[00:13:34] Exactly.

[00:13:34] These things that happened in the Old Testament and in other cultures even, oftentimes inform

[00:13:40] what happened in the New Testament.

[00:13:42] Yes.

[00:13:43] Indeed.

[00:13:43] You are correct.

[00:13:45] So Jonah in Islam is regarded as a prophet.

[00:13:49] And the narrative of Jonah appears in the 10th chapter of the Quran named after him,

[00:13:54] Eunice.

[00:13:55] Okay.

[00:13:55] That's Y-U-N-U-S, not E-U-N-I-C-E like the, you know, hillbilly mama, Eunice.

[00:14:05] Okay?

[00:14:06] Okay.

[00:14:06] All right.

[00:14:06] So Eunice is traditionally viewed as highly important in Islam as a prophet who was faithful

[00:14:13] to God and delivered his messages.

[00:14:16] All right.

[00:14:16] Jonah, like I said before, is the only one of Judaism's 12 minor prophets to be named

[00:14:22] in the Quran.

[00:14:23] And the only one that I know.

[00:14:24] Yeah.

[00:14:25] Go figure.

[00:14:26] I mean, prior.

[00:14:27] Now, the Quran never mentions Jonah's father, but Muslim tradition, get this, teaches that

[00:14:34] Jonah was from the tribe of Benjamin and that his father was Amittai.

[00:14:39] Okay.

[00:14:39] All right.

[00:14:40] So they're like, well, we don't have that name in our book, but let's just, that's a

[00:14:45] good name.

[00:14:45] Sure.

[00:14:46] I like that.

[00:14:47] Yeah.

[00:14:47] Let's put it there.

[00:14:48] And then, but let's say he's from Benjamin.

[00:14:50] Right.

[00:14:51] Why not?

[00:14:51] We like Benjamin.

[00:14:52] Sure.

[00:14:52] I don't see why not.

[00:14:54] Sure.

[00:14:54] He was the baby.

[00:14:54] He was well loved.

[00:14:55] Right.

[00:14:55] Even the brothers all loved him.

[00:14:57] Yeah.

[00:14:57] That's why they were able to reconcile because they were like, no, don't, don't do that to

[00:15:02] our baby brother.

[00:15:03] Not Benjamin.

[00:15:05] Oh, take me.

[00:15:05] Not Ben.

[00:15:06] I think it's interesting because they said earlier that he lived in the northern section

[00:15:10] of Israel, which would not have been Benjamin.

[00:15:12] Right.

[00:15:12] So that would have meant he and he and or his family would have had to have moved north at

[00:15:18] some point.

[00:15:19] From that area.

[00:15:20] Right.

[00:15:20] To go to this other area.

[00:15:22] Right.

[00:15:22] So it seems a little unlikely.

[00:15:24] Like, I don't feel like people moved around a lot unless there was a specific purpose.

[00:15:28] Well, I mean, the Bedouins, they were the guys who roamed about like their herds.

[00:15:35] Sure.

[00:15:35] And like they slept in tents because they just followed their herds.

[00:15:41] But those would have been different cultures that were kind of mingling with the Israelites

[00:15:45] and not necessarily the Israelites because the Israelites had their own tribes and their

[00:15:48] own places and their own things.

[00:15:49] You know what?

[00:15:50] I was totally just being very like monolith, like stereotypy, like, you know, all of those

[00:15:59] cultures over there.

[00:16:00] Like, I was just like putting them all in one basket.

[00:16:03] And that is horrible.

[00:16:04] And we should not do that.

[00:16:05] And I'm calling myself out.

[00:16:07] Okay?

[00:16:07] Okay.

[00:16:08] All right.

[00:16:08] Yeah.

[00:16:08] That was not cool, guys.

[00:16:10] Stop doing that.

[00:16:12] Okay.

[00:16:12] Many modern Bible scholars suggest the book of Jonah is fictional and at least partially

[00:16:19] satirical even.

[00:16:20] I see.

[00:16:21] Okay.

[00:16:22] The character of Jonah, son of Amittai, may have been based on the historical prophet of

[00:16:29] the same name who prophesied during the reign of King Amaziah of Judah.

[00:16:34] Okay.

[00:16:35] As mentioned in 2 Kings.

[00:16:37] Got it.

[00:16:38] Okay.

[00:16:38] I don't recall that, but I'm sure I believe you.

[00:16:41] Right.

[00:16:42] Yeah.

[00:16:42] Okay.

[00:16:43] Although the creature that swallowed Jonah is often depicted in art and culture as a

[00:16:47] whale, as I already said, the Hebrew text uses the phrase large fish.

[00:16:52] You are a big fish.

[00:16:54] Right.

[00:16:55] Like, how big is your fish?

[00:16:57] It's whale big.

[00:16:58] Yeah.

[00:16:59] Yeah.

[00:16:59] That fish be whaling.

[00:17:00] But speaking of big fish, that is such a good movie, y'all.

[00:17:03] It has nothing to do with this.

[00:17:06] What is it?

[00:17:06] Big fish.

[00:17:07] Oh, big.

[00:17:08] Yeah.

[00:17:08] Yeah.

[00:17:09] Right.

[00:17:09] That is a really good movie.

[00:17:10] It's so good.

[00:17:11] It's, what is that like?

[00:17:15] Fantasy realism or fantastical realism or something like that?

[00:17:19] Yeah, maybe.

[00:17:19] Where it's like, you're supposed to see that it's happening in the real world, but there's

[00:17:24] a magical, magical realism.

[00:17:26] That's what it is.

[00:17:27] Right.

[00:17:27] And it's just, it's such a great movie.

[00:17:30] I want to point out real quick that Bedouins actually did not exist during biblical times.

[00:17:34] My total bad.

[00:17:36] Now, there's a lot of, you know, similarities in some of the ways that some people lived

[00:17:40] back then, and they may have been precursors to what the Bedouins were, but they were not

[00:17:45] actually there during biblical times.

[00:17:47] I appreciate you fact-checking me on that, because like I said, I was just all kinds

[00:17:53] of just, you know, all the people over there, they're all the same, right?

[00:17:57] Just like all Americans on the American continent.

[00:18:00] Right.

[00:18:01] You know?

[00:18:01] Right.

[00:18:02] Canada, America, Texas, it's all the same.

[00:18:05] Sure.

[00:18:05] Right?

[00:18:06] Yeah.

[00:18:06] Sure.

[00:18:07] No.

[00:18:07] No.

[00:18:08] Just in case you wondered, it's not.

[00:18:10] And it is important to recognize different cultures and, you know.

[00:18:14] Just as it's important to us here to say, oh no, I'm American and I wish I was Canadian

[00:18:21] and I'm totally not Texan.

[00:18:25] Like, it matters, right?

[00:18:27] Like, I don't have a lot of, like, American pride right now because just, you know, the

[00:18:34] way it is.

[00:18:35] Yeah, we just elected fucking Trump.

[00:18:36] Yeah.

[00:18:36] Fuck that shit.

[00:18:37] But other people might actually have that pride or they might not want to be lumped in.

[00:18:43] And so I apologize.

[00:18:44] Truly.

[00:18:45] That was shitty of me.

[00:18:46] And I'm going to try to stop that.

[00:18:49] Well, I mean, I want to clarify real quick, too.

[00:18:51] I have pride in what America could stand for.

[00:18:53] Oh, yeah.

[00:18:53] We've had that talk before, though.

[00:18:54] Yeah.

[00:18:54] No, I just wanted to say it real quick.

[00:18:57] That's all.

[00:18:57] The American dream, the American principles, the shit you're taught when you're a kid.

[00:19:01] That is all really great.

[00:19:03] Values and morals and the city on the hill, you know.

[00:19:07] The propaganda.

[00:19:08] Yeah.

[00:19:09] Yeah.

[00:19:09] Right?

[00:19:09] The freedom, you know.

[00:19:12] Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

[00:19:17] The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

[00:19:20] Send these.

[00:19:21] The homeless tempest tossed to me.

[00:19:23] I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

[00:19:27] Yeah.

[00:19:28] And then we elect Trump.

[00:19:29] Yeah.

[00:19:29] Yeah.

[00:19:30] And he closes everything.

[00:19:32] Yeah.

[00:19:32] Right.

[00:19:33] So, yeah, I have pride in that image and I wish it was true.

[00:19:38] Right.

[00:19:38] And I wish we had better health care and I wish we cared about our poor and our trans

[00:19:44] and our people of color.

[00:19:45] Education.

[00:19:46] Yeah.

[00:19:47] Any number of things.

[00:19:48] All of the things.

[00:19:48] All of the above.

[00:19:49] Yes.

[00:19:49] Pride in the Americans.

[00:19:51] Yeah.

[00:19:52] Okay.

[00:19:52] Anyway, sorry for my lumping in.

[00:19:55] Jonah.

[00:19:56] Yes.

[00:19:56] Jonah.

[00:19:56] We're doing Jonah.

[00:19:57] We're doing Jonah.

[00:19:58] We're doing Jonah.

[00:19:58] Large fish.

[00:19:59] Not necessarily whale.

[00:20:00] Okay.

[00:20:01] In the 17th century and early 18th century, the species of the fish that swallowed Jonah

[00:20:06] was a subject of speculation by naturalists.

[00:20:09] That's where we got whale.

[00:20:10] I'm sure.

[00:20:10] Yeah.

[00:20:10] They were like, ooh, let's study this part of the Bible.

[00:20:13] Right.

[00:20:13] This sounds fun.

[00:20:14] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:20:15] They interpreted the story as an account of a historical incident because, you know, they

[00:20:19] were pretty dumb back then.

[00:20:21] Well, there are still people today that would treat it as a historical incident.

[00:20:25] Yeah, yeah.

[00:20:25] I mean, you know, people take the Bible very seriously.

[00:20:29] They do.

[00:20:29] They do.

[00:20:30] They're like, yeah.

[00:20:31] The Bible says he lived in there for three days.

[00:20:34] I don't care what sign says.

[00:20:35] Happened.

[00:20:36] Well, it's true.

[00:20:37] It did.

[00:20:37] You did.

[00:20:37] I mean, it's true that people take these things very seriously.

[00:20:41] They do.

[00:20:42] And that's silly.

[00:20:43] But that's part of why we want to read through this stuff.

[00:20:46] Because it is, like, some of the stuff is just, like, just the fact that it is absolutely

[00:20:51] impossible for that to happen.

[00:20:52] Right.

[00:20:52] Is the fact that people should know.

[00:20:54] Not with the hand of God.

[00:20:56] Whatever.

[00:20:57] God enabled that to happen.

[00:20:58] No.

[00:20:58] But that's what they would say.

[00:21:00] I know.

[00:21:00] It doesn't matter that, no, but somebody couldn't do that scientifically.

[00:21:04] It's impossible.

[00:21:05] I just don't understand why people don't say.

[00:21:06] It's much more likely that some fucking idiot back in the, you know, middle or, you know,

[00:21:11] early days of the Bible made up a goddamn story.

[00:21:16] And then not only.

[00:21:18] I'm like, have you ever heard somebody talk about the fish they caught?

[00:21:21] For fuck's sake.

[00:21:22] Where do you.

[00:21:23] It turns out to be a goddamn, you know.

[00:21:26] Whale.

[00:21:27] Before they're done.

[00:21:29] When all they caught was maybe a minnow.

[00:21:31] Right.

[00:21:32] Yeah.

[00:21:32] Yeah.

[00:21:32] I'm just saying, like, why do we believe this shit?

[00:21:36] Just because it's old.

[00:21:38] Or whatever.

[00:21:39] And been repeated.

[00:21:39] You know, I don't understand.

[00:21:40] I don't know.

[00:21:41] But these naturalists started it.

[00:21:42] Yeah.

[00:21:43] Well, they didn't start it.

[00:21:44] There was a lot of people that started it.

[00:21:45] But.

[00:21:45] Yeah.

[00:21:46] But.

[00:21:46] They just contributed to it.

[00:21:47] Yeah.

[00:21:48] They didn't make things better.

[00:21:49] Right.

[00:21:49] Because they were like, let us make the Bible and science one.

[00:21:53] And it's like, no, that's not what the Enlightenment wanted.

[00:21:57] Stop.

[00:21:57] You're doing the Enlightenment wrong, you guys.

[00:22:00] The Enlightenment was about science and proving things and finding the truth, not trying to

[00:22:07] make the Bible be true.

[00:22:09] Stop.

[00:22:11] I hate them.

[00:22:12] I don't know.

[00:22:13] I have to maybe disagree with you a little bit there, because in those days, even though

[00:22:18] science was becoming more prevalent, people still took the Bible and God and religion very

[00:22:23] seriously.

[00:22:24] Yes.

[00:22:24] But naturalists were already scoffing at the ideas of like, OK, I'm running out of words

[00:22:36] again.

[00:22:37] OK.

[00:22:37] But all of the silly ways that they claimed people were not related to animals and like

[00:22:47] they thought that the giraffe just like grew his neck.

[00:22:54] Sure.

[00:22:55] You know, like, oh, I need those leaves up there.

[00:22:58] And so like, you know, a week later, all these type of animals had long necks.

[00:23:03] And it's like.

[00:23:03] Right.

[00:23:04] Well, if a week means, you know, centuries, OK.

[00:23:08] More than centuries.

[00:23:09] Right.

[00:23:10] I was trying to be generous.

[00:23:12] But they were already starting to scoff at those ideas.

[00:23:16] Sure.

[00:23:16] Like, that's what the whole purpose was.

[00:23:19] And they were open to being wrong.

[00:23:23] I mean, they were still sexist and racist to some extent.

[00:23:27] But they still believed in God much of the time.

[00:23:29] That was still a given.

[00:23:31] So they they they took extra effort to make things that were biblical be true, because it

[00:23:38] has to be true if they believe their whole point of view on life and in the afterlife

[00:23:42] and everything.

[00:23:43] Not all of them.

[00:23:44] But a large amount of them.

[00:23:46] Too much, much larger than today.

[00:23:49] Too many.

[00:23:50] That is true.

[00:23:51] Yeah.

[00:23:51] So anyway, they turn they tried to say it really happened.

[00:23:56] It's a historical incident.

[00:23:58] Sure.

[00:23:58] Some modern scholars of folklore, on the other hand, note similarities between Jonah and other

[00:24:04] legendary religious figures like.

[00:24:06] I'm shocked.

[00:24:08] Right.

[00:24:08] Like the Indian yogi Matsyendranata or Lord of the fishes.

[00:24:15] Okay.

[00:24:16] As well as the Sumerian King Gilgamesh.

[00:24:19] That sounds like it could be more.

[00:24:22] Yeah.

[00:24:22] Likely as a.

[00:24:23] Yeah.

[00:24:23] And the Greek hero, Jason.

[00:24:26] Oh.

[00:24:26] Yeah.

[00:24:27] Okay.

[00:24:27] You know, Jason and the Argonauts.

[00:24:28] Yeah.

[00:24:29] Yeah.

[00:24:29] That guy.

[00:24:29] Right.

[00:24:29] Yeah.

[00:24:30] Yeah.

[00:24:31] So according to one tradition, Jonah was the boy brought back to life by Elijah, the prophet

[00:24:38] in First Kings.

[00:24:39] I remember that story.

[00:24:41] Yeah.

[00:24:41] Yeah.

[00:24:41] And I'm like, but why?

[00:24:42] That's so random.

[00:24:43] Why?

[00:24:44] Yeah.

[00:24:44] Didn't he like lay over him or something?

[00:24:46] Yeah.

[00:24:46] He laid on top of that boy.

[00:24:48] Yeah.

[00:24:48] It was very sexual.

[00:24:50] It was disturbing a bit.

[00:24:51] It made me very uncomfortable.

[00:24:53] Yeah.

[00:24:53] Me too.

[00:24:53] It made me feel pedo was happening right before my eyes.

[00:24:59] And I'm like, yeah, that's the church for you.

[00:25:02] Right.

[00:25:02] Right.

[00:25:03] But I'm just like, why that kid?

[00:25:06] Why?

[00:25:06] Like it could have been any other unnamed character.

[00:25:10] Right.

[00:25:10] So random.

[00:25:11] Yeah.

[00:25:12] But no, they like those little connection things that they.

[00:25:15] It makes it more real.

[00:25:17] Right.

[00:25:17] Well, it makes it more fun.

[00:25:18] It does.

[00:25:19] It does.

[00:25:20] Yeah.

[00:25:20] We like everybody to be hooked up by the end of the story.

[00:25:24] Everybody must have a partner.

[00:25:26] Yeah.

[00:25:27] Another tradition holds that he was the son of the woman of Shunem brought back to life

[00:25:33] by Elisha in second Kings.

[00:25:36] Okay.

[00:25:36] And that he is called the son of Amittai, which means truth due to his mother's recognition

[00:25:43] of Elijah's identity as a prophet in first Kings.

[00:25:48] Okay.

[00:25:48] So either Elijah or Elijah may have brought him back to life.

[00:25:53] Got it.

[00:25:54] Or his mom.

[00:25:55] Or none of them were involved.

[00:25:57] Or nobody ever died and was brought back to life.

[00:25:59] Sure.

[00:26:00] Unless it was with artificial resuscitation or some type of EM.

[00:26:07] What is it?

[00:26:09] Electromagnetic thingy that zaps their hearts and make it start beating again.

[00:26:13] Yeah.

[00:26:14] That kind of thing.

[00:26:15] Right.

[00:26:15] And that's not quote unquote bringing somebody back to life.

[00:26:19] That's catching them right before they true gone.

[00:26:22] Right.

[00:26:22] Yeah.

[00:26:22] I mean, I'm not saying you were not in death's grasp.

[00:26:25] You got them to start breathing and heart beating again.

[00:26:27] Yeah.

[00:26:27] Yeah.

[00:26:28] They weren't brain dead yet.

[00:26:29] You caught them before their body realized that it could stop.

[00:26:33] Yeah.

[00:26:33] You know?

[00:26:34] Right.

[00:26:34] You plugged them in real quick.

[00:26:36] Yeah.

[00:26:36] Okay.

[00:26:37] So according to the Midrash, while Jonah was inside the fish, the fish told him that its

[00:26:43] life was nearly over because soon the Leviathan would eat them both.

[00:26:49] Okay.

[00:26:50] Jonah promised the fish that he would save them.

[00:26:52] Following Jonah's directions, the fish swam up alongside the Leviathan and Jonah threatened

[00:26:58] to leash the Leviathan by its tongue and let the other fish eat it.

[00:27:02] But the Leviathan heard Jonah's threats, saw that he was a bald dick dude.

[00:27:09] He was circumcised and realized that he was protected by the Lord.

[00:27:13] Seriously?

[00:27:14] Yeah.

[00:27:15] Okay.

[00:27:16] The Leviathan saw that my guy was circumcised.

[00:27:21] Oh my God.

[00:27:22] He's like, I see you have a mighty fine dick.

[00:27:25] I see that it is in its full glory uncovered.

[00:27:30] Yeah.

[00:27:31] Yeah.

[00:27:31] And bald.

[00:27:32] Okay.

[00:27:33] That's why I said bald dick dude.

[00:27:34] This is a weird story.

[00:27:36] Yeah.

[00:27:36] Okay.

[00:27:37] And it was like, ooh, circumcised motherfuckers got the Lord on their side.

[00:27:42] So it fled in terror, leaving Jonah and the fish alive.

[00:27:46] That's a fun story.

[00:27:48] Fishes that know what's up with a man's dick.

[00:27:51] No wonder guys like to just like wave their dicks around, huh?

[00:27:53] Right?

[00:27:54] Yeah.

[00:27:54] They're like.

[00:27:54] Apparently they'll save your life.

[00:27:56] They're like, look at my dick.

[00:27:58] Just for the record, don't do that.

[00:27:59] Look at my dick, guys.

[00:28:00] You won't save your life.

[00:28:01] Otherwise the Lord's gonna save me.

[00:28:02] Look at my dick.

[00:28:03] See my dick?

[00:28:04] It's crazy.

[00:28:06] The medieval Jewish scholar and rabbi Abraham Ibn Nazra from 1092 to 1167.

[00:28:13] I feel like I've heard that name before.

[00:28:15] He's one of those, I think, Midrash writer guys.

[00:28:19] Sure.

[00:28:19] He's very influential.

[00:28:20] Yeah.

[00:28:21] I might have the wrong book.

[00:28:22] Medieval, like Jewish literature.

[00:28:24] Yeah.

[00:28:24] He was a Jewish scholar.

[00:28:26] Sure.

[00:28:27] Okay.

[00:28:27] And rabbi.

[00:28:29] It might have been in our book that we do or it might have been in something else.

[00:28:33] It would have been several notes.

[00:28:35] We've mentioned him before.

[00:28:36] Yeah, yeah.

[00:28:36] He argued against any literal interpretation of the book of Jonah, stating that the experiences

[00:28:42] of all the prophets except for Moses were visions, not actualities.

[00:28:46] You dumb motherfuckers.

[00:28:48] Huh.

[00:28:48] So apparently he had some of a brain about him.

[00:28:51] Okay.

[00:28:52] Okay.

[00:28:52] Yeah.

[00:28:52] But the later scholar, Isaac Arbarbanel, who was alive in 1437 to 1509.

[00:29:01] Okay.

[00:29:02] He argued that Jonah could have easily survived in the belly of the fish for three days because

[00:29:07] after all, fetuses live nine months without access to fresh air.

[00:29:14] Tell me you don't know anything about a woman's body without saying you don't know anything about

[00:29:19] a woman's body.

[00:29:20] Right.

[00:29:21] Yeah.

[00:29:21] I bet you can't make her come neither.

[00:29:25] I mean, to be fair, I don't know that science would have caught up with these rationale at that

[00:29:30] point.

[00:29:30] I'm just saying.

[00:29:31] No, but what is sad is that there are people in Congress, senators who don't know any more

[00:29:39] about a woman's body than this motherfucker.

[00:29:42] Definitely.

[00:29:42] The ignorance that is still in society is unbelievable.

[00:29:46] I have seen so many dudes like, like TikToks about guys that, that don't know that, um,

[00:29:55] a woman can't just hold her period.

[00:29:58] You know, like pee.

[00:29:59] Like, can't you just hold it?

[00:30:00] Why do you leak everywhere all the time?

[00:30:03] Can't you just hold it?

[00:30:04] Oh my God.

[00:30:04] Yeah.

[00:30:05] Like, oh, okay.

[00:30:07] To all my, um, non-period having friends.

[00:30:11] Right.

[00:30:12] Listeners.

[00:30:12] Just in case.

[00:30:13] Well, no, not all.

[00:30:15] Oh, okay.

[00:30:16] Right, right, right.

[00:30:16] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[00:30:17] Fair enough.

[00:30:17] Yeah.

[00:30:17] Um, just so you know, people who have periods know they cannot hold them.

[00:30:23] It is not indeed like pee.

[00:30:25] Right.

[00:30:26] It is basically, you are bleeding.

[00:30:28] Right.

[00:30:29] You have a wound and it's called this egg don't work.

[00:30:34] Right.

[00:30:34] This egg is broken.

[00:30:35] Again, you're, you're spitting out a broken egg.

[00:30:39] Yeah.

[00:30:39] Okay.

[00:30:40] Yeah.

[00:30:40] That is the period.

[00:30:42] Yeah.

[00:30:42] And, and you cannot hold, like if you cut your arm, you cannot hold that and just stop bleeding.

[00:30:49] Right.

[00:30:49] You have to stick a pad or something on your arm if you cut your arm.

[00:30:55] Right.

[00:30:55] Similarly with the period.

[00:30:59] Yes.

[00:30:59] Okay.

[00:31:00] So moving on.

[00:31:03] Men suck.

[00:31:03] I'm sorry.

[00:31:04] Amittai is only mentioned twice in the Bible.

[00:31:07] He's mentioned in 2 Kings chapter 14 and in Jonah chapter 1.

[00:31:12] Okay.

[00:31:13] The end.

[00:31:13] All right.

[00:31:13] Nothing is known about him other than that he was Jonah's daddy-o and he was a native of

[00:31:18] Gath Hefar.

[00:31:20] Got it.

[00:31:20] Okay.

[00:31:21] Okay.

[00:31:21] That's it.

[00:31:22] However, Amittai or Mata in Arabic is also mentioned in Islam by Muhammad.

[00:31:30] Okay.

[00:31:31] Okay.

[00:32:01] Okay.

[00:32:02] It's kind of like if you go to Europe, for example, and you bump into another American

[00:32:10] abroad.

[00:32:11] Right.

[00:32:12] And you're like, I'm from Ohio.

[00:32:13] How about you?

[00:32:14] And they're like, oh my God, I'm from Ohio too.

[00:32:16] And you're like, no way.

[00:32:18] Where?

[00:32:19] And then they're like, I mean, Cincinnati.

[00:32:22] And you're like, oh no, I'm from like the entire north of the state.

[00:32:27] So like Cleveland or Toledo or some shit like that.

[00:32:32] Right.

[00:32:32] And then you're like, oh, of course, that makes perfect sense that we wouldn't be from

[00:32:36] the same.

[00:32:36] But this was a small town and they were like, dude, you must know Jonah.

[00:32:43] Sure.

[00:32:43] So then overjoyed, Muhammad then told Adas, the grape bearing boy from Nineveh.

[00:32:49] Yeah.

[00:32:50] How Jonah and he, Muhammad, were prophetic brothers.

[00:32:54] Got it.

[00:32:54] Like you knew my, my dude, my prophet friend over there.

[00:32:58] Got it.

[00:32:59] So, okay.

[00:33:00] One more thing.

[00:33:01] And then we will actually start this book.

[00:33:02] And I'm telling you, there's so much more.

[00:33:04] Like I'm not even giving you all the fucking information.

[00:33:07] Yeah.

[00:33:07] I tried to only take the most interesting stuff and then I will try to hit more of it when

[00:33:13] we do the wrap up.

[00:33:14] Okay.

[00:33:14] Okay.

[00:33:15] Like I literally cut this in half.

[00:33:17] I know you're like, Jesus Christ, are we getting to chapter one?

[00:33:20] It's not a long chapter.

[00:33:22] So that's why I feel justified.

[00:33:23] Okay.

[00:33:24] All right.

[00:33:24] Let's talk about Jonah's tomb right quick.

[00:33:27] Okay.

[00:33:27] Okay.

[00:33:27] So Nineveh's current location is marked by excavations of five gates, parts of walls on

[00:33:35] four sides, and two large mounds.

[00:33:38] The hill of Kuyinjik and the hill of Nabi Yunus.

[00:33:44] Okay.

[00:33:45] Yunus being, Yunus being.

[00:33:47] Sure.

[00:33:48] Jonah.

[00:33:48] Right.

[00:33:49] Okay.

[00:33:49] Yeah.

[00:33:49] A mosque that sat atop Nabi Yunus was dedicated to the prophet Jonah and contained a shrine

[00:33:57] which was revered by both Muslims and Christians as the site of Jonah's tomb.

[00:34:03] The tomb was a popular pilgrimage site and a symbol of unity to Jews, Christians, and Muslims

[00:34:11] across the Middle East.

[00:34:13] Wow.

[00:34:13] I know.

[00:34:14] Like, I got goosebumps when I read this and I just now got goosebumps again.

[00:34:18] Huh.

[00:34:18] Because, wow.

[00:34:19] Right?

[00:34:20] That's amazing.

[00:34:20] What kind of timeframe was this in?

[00:34:22] Let me tell you.

[00:34:23] All right.

[00:34:24] On July 24th, 2014, ISIL, the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, destroyed the mosque

[00:34:33] containing the tomb as part of a campaign to destroy religious sanctuaries that it deemed

[00:34:39] to be idolatrous.

[00:34:40] Oh, wow.

[00:34:41] Right?

[00:34:41] Wow.

[00:34:42] Yeah.

[00:34:43] So, 10 years ago, 2014.

[00:34:45] Oh, wow.

[00:34:46] 10 years ago, that shrine still existed.

[00:34:48] Wow.

[00:34:49] Yeah.

[00:34:50] Okay.

[00:34:51] After Mosul was taken back from ISIL in 2017, an ancient Assyrian palace built by Asarhaddon,

[00:35:01] Asarhaddon?

[00:35:02] I'm sorry.

[00:35:03] Dating to around the first half of the 7th century BCE was discovered beneath the ruined

[00:35:09] mosque.

[00:35:10] Oh.

[00:35:10] ISIL had fucking plundered the palace of items to sell on the black market.

[00:35:16] They had, I mean, they had just raped it dry.

[00:35:20] Yeah.

[00:35:20] You know?

[00:35:20] But some of the artifacts that were more difficult to transport, like too big, too heavy to carry,

[00:35:26] still remained in place.

[00:35:28] Got it.

[00:35:29] Other reputed locations of Jonah's tomb.

[00:35:32] Like, that's to me the biggest and saddest one.

[00:35:34] Like, I almost don't even care about these other sites.

[00:35:37] I'm only mentioning them because.

[00:35:39] Right.

[00:35:40] You know?

[00:35:40] Yeah.

[00:35:41] All right.

[00:35:41] So, other reputed locations of Jonah's tomb include the Arab village of Mashhad, located

[00:35:47] in the ancient site of Gath-Hefar in Israel.

[00:35:51] Okay.

[00:35:51] Which, okay, that tracks because, you know, that's where they were from.

[00:35:55] Right.

[00:35:55] The Nabi Yunus Mosque of the Palestinian town of Halhu in the West Bank, about 3.1 miles

[00:36:05] north of Hebron.

[00:36:06] Hebron.

[00:36:07] Okay.

[00:36:08] Was purportedly built over Jonah's tomb.

[00:36:11] Okay.

[00:36:12] A sanctuary near the city of Sarephand or Sarepta in Lebanon.

[00:36:17] Okay.

[00:36:18] Lebanon.

[00:36:19] Sorry.

[00:36:19] And a hill now called Givat Yonah, meaning Jonah's hill, at the northern edge of the Israeli

[00:36:28] town of Ashdod at a site covered by a modern lighthouse.

[00:36:32] Okay.

[00:36:33] They were like, hey, this might be Jonah's tomb.

[00:36:36] Let's build a fucking lighthouse on top of it.

[00:36:38] Yeah, that tracks.

[00:36:39] Sure, sure, sure.

[00:36:40] Okay.

[00:36:41] And the final one is Tomb of Jonah in the city of Diyarbakar, Turkey, located behind the

[00:36:48] Mirab at Faith Pasha Mosque.

[00:36:51] That fucker has been buried in a lot of places.

[00:36:53] He sure as fuck has.

[00:36:56] Yeah.

[00:36:56] Yes.

[00:36:57] Okay.

[00:36:57] So, let us now begin reading about Jonah.

[00:37:02] Okay.

[00:37:02] Okay.

[00:37:03] I mean, isn't that ridiculous how much info there is about this dude?

[00:37:06] Yeah.

[00:37:07] Four chapters.

[00:37:08] But also, it's not that accurate either, though.

[00:37:10] No, but...

[00:37:12] I mean, to be buried in like six different places is...

[00:37:14] No, but what I'm saying is there is so much info about this guy, all the legends, the stories,

[00:37:23] the this, the that.

[00:37:24] Right.

[00:37:24] Yeah.

[00:37:25] And there's only four chapters.

[00:37:26] We don't have like 10 different burial places for guys that have 30 chapters.

[00:37:31] That's true.

[00:37:32] That's true.

[00:37:32] That's true.

[00:37:32] And you would expect, comparatively speaking, that you would.

[00:37:36] Right.

[00:37:36] No, you're right.

[00:37:38] You're right.

[00:37:38] So, Jonah, chapter one.

[00:37:40] Okay.

[00:37:41] Mm-hmm.

[00:37:41] The word of the Lord came to Jonah, son of Amittai.

[00:37:45] Okay.

[00:37:46] Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it because its wickedness has come up before

[00:37:51] me.

[00:37:52] You know how them people be wicked.

[00:37:54] Yeah.

[00:37:54] Yeah.

[00:37:55] But Jonah ran away from the Lord.

[00:37:56] He was like, nope.

[00:37:58] I'm out.

[00:37:58] Run away.

[00:37:59] Run away.

[00:38:00] Exactly.

[00:38:01] He headed for Tarshish.

[00:38:03] He went down to Joppa where he found a ship bound for that port.

[00:38:07] After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

[00:38:13] Oh.

[00:38:13] So, he's on a ship with other people.

[00:38:15] Okay.

[00:38:15] Okay?

[00:38:15] Yeah.

[00:38:16] Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea and such a violent storm arose that the ship

[00:38:22] threatened to break up.

[00:38:24] All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own God and they threw the cargo

[00:38:29] into the sea to lighten the ship.

[00:38:31] But Jonah had gone below deck where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep.

[00:38:36] He was like, fuck me.

[00:38:37] Right.

[00:38:38] Maybe if I just sleep through this storm, when I wake up, it'll all be better.

[00:38:41] So, he's down there sleeping, trying to just pretend nothing's happening.

[00:38:46] La, la, la.

[00:38:46] Everything's fine.

[00:38:47] This is fine.

[00:38:48] The captain went to him and said, how can you sleep, motherfucker?

[00:38:52] Get up and call on your God.

[00:38:54] Maybe he will take notice of us so that we will not perish.

[00:38:57] So, I just find this interesting that these guys each prayed to a different God.

[00:39:03] Right.

[00:39:04] And they respected that maybe one of these gods will help us.

[00:39:08] Sure.

[00:39:08] Yeah, yeah.

[00:39:09] There's all different gods.

[00:39:11] Yeah.

[00:39:11] You know?

[00:39:12] Everybody call out, see which one works.

[00:39:14] Yeah.

[00:39:14] You know?

[00:39:14] Surely one of the gods will answer to us.

[00:39:17] Right.

[00:39:17] And it's kind of how the Israelites operated most of the time.

[00:39:20] They're like, whatever works, man.

[00:39:21] Just fucking...

[00:39:22] Make it rain or make it dry up.

[00:39:25] Yeah.

[00:39:25] Whatever the fuck.

[00:39:26] Make this storm stop.

[00:39:27] Right.

[00:39:27] Then the sailors said to each other, come, let us cast lots to find out who was responsible

[00:39:32] for this fucking calamity.

[00:39:34] Oh, that sounds scientific.

[00:39:35] That's very scientific.

[00:39:36] Yeah.

[00:39:36] They cast lots.

[00:39:38] And guess what?

[00:39:38] Jonah.

[00:39:39] The lot fell on Jonah.

[00:39:40] Yeah, of course.

[00:39:41] Because God.

[00:39:42] Sure.

[00:39:43] So, they asked him, tell us who was responsible for making all this trouble for us, asshole.

[00:39:48] What kind of work do you do?

[00:39:50] Where do you come from?

[00:39:51] What is your country?

[00:39:52] From what people are you?

[00:39:53] All based on lots.

[00:39:55] Yeah.

[00:39:55] Just luck of the draw.

[00:39:57] Well, but God led that.

[00:39:58] Yeah, sure.

[00:39:59] Yeah.

[00:39:59] Okay.

[00:39:59] You know, when you draw straws, you know, God clearly has his hand on that at all times.

[00:40:06] Right.

[00:40:07] Yeah.

[00:40:07] So, my guy answered, I'm a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven who made the sea

[00:40:14] and the dry land, you know.

[00:40:15] Right.

[00:40:16] Yahweh kind of thing.

[00:40:18] Elohim.

[00:40:19] You heard of him?

[00:40:21] And this terrified them and they asked, what the fuck have you done?

[00:40:25] Okay.

[00:40:26] They really asked, what have you done?

[00:40:28] Right.

[00:40:29] But what the fuck have you done?

[00:40:31] Sure.

[00:40:31] Is probably what they realized.

[00:40:32] Yeah, yeah.

[00:40:33] They knew he was running away from the Lord because he had already told them so.

[00:40:37] That's in parentheses.

[00:40:38] Let me reread that.

[00:40:39] Okay.

[00:40:40] They knew he was running away from the Lord because he had already told them so.

[00:40:44] Okay.

[00:40:45] Parentheses voice.

[00:40:45] Got it.

[00:40:46] The sea was getting rougher and rougher.

[00:40:48] So, they asked him, what the fuck should we do to make, to you, to make the sea calm

[00:40:54] down for us?

[00:40:56] I'm guessing the answer is going to be throw him overboard.

[00:40:58] No, this is what he says.

[00:40:59] He's like, my guys, I'm really sorry.

[00:41:01] Okay.

[00:41:02] He goes, pick me up and throw me into the sea and it will become calm.

[00:41:06] I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.

[00:41:09] So, he's like, I'm sorry.

[00:41:11] You know?

[00:41:11] Sure.

[00:41:11] I brought this on you.

[00:41:13] This is not what I fucking intended.

[00:41:14] I was just trying to run away because I did not want to go be a prophet.

[00:41:19] Right.

[00:41:19] But, you know, God had other plans and he's willing to kill all of you to make me be a

[00:41:24] prophet.

[00:41:25] Yeah.

[00:41:26] Great guy.

[00:41:26] Yeah.

[00:41:27] But instead, the men did their best to row back to land, but they could not for the sea

[00:41:33] grew even wilder than before.

[00:41:35] Isn't that nice?

[00:41:35] They were like, I don't want to kill this guy.

[00:41:37] Right.

[00:41:37] Jesus, I wouldn't want to be a fucking prophet either.

[00:41:41] Like, it's like if he's a draft dodger and they're like, I mean, okay, on the one hand,

[00:41:46] nobody respects a draft dodger, but then on the other hand, I'm not trying to go to war.

[00:41:51] I get it.

[00:41:52] I get it, my guy.

[00:41:54] Let's, we'll try to protect you.

[00:41:55] We'll do our best.

[00:41:56] Right.

[00:41:56] I don't know that I want to die for you or anything, but I'll do my best.

[00:41:59] Sure.

[00:41:59] So they did their best to row back to land, but they could not for the sea grew even wilder

[00:42:04] than before.

[00:42:05] Then they cried out to the Lord.

[00:42:08] Oh.

[00:42:09] These dudes who had other gods, they were like, yo, Yahweh, please, Lord, do not let us die

[00:42:17] for taking this man's life.

[00:42:19] Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man for you, Lord, have done as you pleased.

[00:42:25] Right.

[00:42:25] So they're like, I guess we have to kill him so we can live, but I'm not trying to have

[00:42:30] Yahweh come after me for killing him.

[00:42:32] Right.

[00:42:32] Like, I just want to not die, please, sir.

[00:42:35] Yeah.

[00:42:35] Right?

[00:42:36] Yeah.

[00:42:36] So then they took Jonah and fucking threw him overboard because what else can you do?

[00:42:40] Yeah.

[00:42:40] Right.

[00:42:40] Right.

[00:42:40] And the raging sea indeed grew calm.

[00:42:43] Yeah.

[00:42:44] At this, the men greatly feared the Lord and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made

[00:42:48] vows to him because always fear the Lord.

[00:42:52] Right.

[00:42:52] That's what I'm getting out of this.

[00:42:54] If you threw somebody overboard and you thought that that was the issue and then everything

[00:42:58] fixed itself, that's pretty substantial.

[00:43:02] Now, look.

[00:43:04] Timing, though.

[00:43:04] I don't think.

[00:43:05] Right, right, right, right.

[00:43:06] But I don't think that that actually happened.

[00:43:09] Right.

[00:43:09] But if that happened, I could see why people would be like, oh, shit.

[00:43:15] Sure.

[00:43:15] You know what I mean?

[00:43:16] Sure.

[00:43:17] That's a valid reason to be scared of a God, I suppose.

[00:43:22] Okay.

[00:43:22] Right.

[00:43:23] But I just love that they were like, you're not my God or anything, but I do fear you

[00:43:28] and I am going to sacrifice to you and please don't get me.

[00:43:33] I'm still going to, you know, pray to my God.

[00:43:35] Well, no, I mean, I think that in the end there, but when they saw the power of this

[00:43:39] God and like that he did relent after throwing this guy overboard.

[00:43:43] Right.

[00:43:43] Yeah.

[00:43:43] That they're like, oh, shit, this is that's that's the God.

[00:43:47] Okay.

[00:43:47] But here's the thing, though.

[00:43:48] Like, as soon as he goes, oh, I'm I'm from whatever place in Yahweh, you know, my God

[00:43:56] is the Lord.

[00:43:57] Right.

[00:43:58] And they were afraid.

[00:43:59] So they knew of this God already.

[00:44:03] They still had their own gods from their own lands and their own cultures and their

[00:44:07] own peoples.

[00:44:07] That's why they were like, where are you from?

[00:44:10] What God do your people pray to?

[00:44:12] Why aren't you praying to him?

[00:44:13] But they might have been fearful because they cast lots.

[00:44:15] And it said that this guy's God was the one that was causing it.

[00:44:18] It might not have been just.

[00:44:20] No, that they talked about that before.

[00:44:23] OK.

[00:44:23] They were afraid of his God before they drew lots.

[00:44:26] Got it.

[00:44:27] OK.

[00:44:27] Yeah.

[00:44:28] So they were like, oh, fuck.

[00:44:30] Sure.

[00:44:37] Because it kind of goes with it.

[00:44:40] But I'm just going to read it anyway.

[00:44:42] Sure.

[00:44:42] OK.

[00:44:43] Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah and Jonah was in the belly of the whale.

[00:44:48] I'm sorry.

[00:44:49] Belly of the fish.

[00:44:50] Three days and three nights.

[00:44:51] The end.

[00:44:52] Oh, there we go.

[00:44:53] Yeah.

[00:44:53] I mean, now he's enough.

[00:44:54] He's going to goddamn giant fish for three days.

[00:44:57] Three nights.

[00:44:57] Yeah.

[00:44:58] Right.

[00:44:58] OK.

[00:44:59] Yeah.

[00:44:59] Have you ever heard the term?

[00:45:01] The now you're in the belly of the whale.

[00:45:03] Yeah.

[00:45:04] That's where it comes from.

[00:45:04] Right.

[00:45:05] Yeah.

[00:45:05] Yeah.

[00:45:05] All right.

[00:45:06] Well, I mean.

[00:45:07] This is a good story.

[00:45:10] Yeah.

[00:45:10] Like I'm.

[00:45:11] It's better than what we've been reading.

[00:45:12] Right.

[00:45:13] So.

[00:45:13] And it ended on a cliffhanger and I want to know what's going to happen next.

[00:45:17] Oh, I do too.

[00:45:17] Yeah.

[00:45:17] So this is a good story.

[00:45:19] Right.

[00:45:20] So.

[00:45:20] Don't get me wrong.

[00:45:22] It's not making me love the Bible.

[00:45:24] No.

[00:45:25] There hasn't been anything that's made me love the Bible.

[00:45:27] No.

[00:45:27] But it's.

[00:45:29] There are some.

[00:45:30] There are some more tolerable stories than others.

[00:45:33] So.

[00:45:33] I'm not hating this section.

[00:45:35] Right.

[00:45:36] Right.

[00:45:36] I'm not dreading reading the next chapter.

[00:45:39] Sure.

[00:45:39] I'm like, what's going to happen?

[00:45:41] Right.

[00:45:42] I mean, obviously he's going to live.

[00:45:44] Right.

[00:45:44] I mean.

[00:45:45] Yeah.

[00:45:45] I've got three more chapters.

[00:45:47] Yeah.

[00:45:47] It wouldn't be very fun or memorable if he died.

[00:45:50] I mean, to me it would.

[00:45:51] But what do I know?

[00:45:53] All right.

[00:45:54] Well, that was chapter one of Jonah.

[00:45:57] Sure as fuck was.

[00:45:58] Yes.

[00:45:58] Which means that we will be back tomorrow with.

[00:46:01] Jonah chapter two.

[00:46:03] All right.

[00:46:04] We'll see you then.

[00:46:05] Bye.

[00:46:11] Wife.

[00:46:12] Do you know what we're doing today?

[00:46:15] Well.

[00:46:15] I wasn't done singing.

[00:46:17] Today.

[00:46:18] Well.

[00:46:20] Well.

[00:46:21] Well.

[00:46:22] Yes.

[00:46:22] Yesterday.

[00:46:23] Yesterday.

[00:46:24] We did Jonah chapter one.

[00:46:25] We sure as fuck did.

[00:46:27] Yeah.

[00:46:27] And in that chapter, God called on Jonah to travel to Nineveh, I believe.

[00:46:33] Nineveh.

[00:46:34] Yeah.

[00:46:34] Yeah.

[00:46:34] And Jonah was like, fuck this shit.

[00:46:37] I'm out.

[00:46:38] Yeah.

[00:46:38] He was like, bitch, bye.

[00:46:39] And then we went on a three hour tour.

[00:46:42] Literally.

[00:46:45] And the boat got in some bad shit, apparently.

[00:46:49] Bad weather.

[00:46:49] They think it was probably God.

[00:46:51] And then they were like, what do we do?

[00:46:53] And he's like, you should probably just throw me overboard.

[00:46:55] And then they were like, no, man, we're going to row back.

[00:46:57] And they're like, nah, this isn't working, man.

[00:46:59] We're going to throw you overboard.

[00:47:00] So then they threw him overboard.

[00:47:01] And then a giant fish swallowed him.

[00:47:03] The end.

[00:47:04] The end.

[00:47:04] Yes.

[00:47:05] And that's where we left off.

[00:47:07] That's where we left off.

[00:47:08] Yeah.

[00:47:08] We also had a very lengthy intro to this guy.

[00:47:11] We did.

[00:47:12] Only four chapters, but there's so much to say about him.

[00:47:15] Yeah.

[00:47:15] It's so stupid.

[00:47:16] I mean, you know.

[00:47:17] It's the Bible.

[00:47:18] It's the only minor prophet I knew before starting the Bible.

[00:47:20] I know.

[00:47:20] You said that yesterday.

[00:47:21] I know.

[00:47:22] I'm just saying.

[00:47:22] It's still true.

[00:47:23] Obviously, there's something there, I guess.

[00:47:25] I guess.

[00:47:25] So anyway, that was Jonah chapter one.

[00:47:27] Mm-hmm.

[00:47:28] Which means that today we're doing.

[00:47:30] Jonah chapter two.

[00:47:31] All right.

[00:47:32] Let's do this.

[00:47:38] Okay.

[00:47:39] Two things.

[00:47:40] Ready?

[00:47:40] Yeah.

[00:47:40] Okay.

[00:47:41] Okie dokie.

[00:47:43] Yeah.

[00:47:43] You forgot that in the intro.

[00:47:45] I paused, but then you just kept not doing it.

[00:47:48] You stared at me, but I was already.

[00:47:49] What's going on?

[00:47:49] I was on to the next thing.

[00:47:51] Yeah.

[00:47:51] Yeah.

[00:47:51] Like, my brain had moved on.

[00:47:53] Well, now you covered it for anybody that was like, where's the okie dokie?

[00:47:55] Where's the okie?

[00:47:56] There it is.

[00:47:56] There it is.

[00:47:57] Mark it off your bingo board, guys.

[00:47:59] The other thing was that it's really funny that there's going to be a prayer of Thanksgiving,

[00:48:05] and we just had that holiday.

[00:48:07] Wait.

[00:48:07] There's a prayer of Thanksgiving?

[00:48:09] It's in here.

[00:48:10] Oh.

[00:48:10] Okay.

[00:48:11] For deliverance.

[00:48:12] But not like Thanksgiving, the American holiday.

[00:48:14] No.

[00:48:14] No.

[00:48:14] No.

[00:48:15] That would be silly.

[00:48:16] They're literally giving thanks.

[00:48:18] Well, something.

[00:48:19] I don't know.

[00:48:19] I just.

[00:48:21] There's a title, and I don't typically read the titles, but it says Jonah's Prayer of Thanksgiving.

[00:48:26] That's why Jonah's really popular, I bet.

[00:48:28] Because Thanksgiving?

[00:48:28] Because he's got a Thanksgiving prayer.

[00:48:30] I have no idea.

[00:48:32] Well, I mean, it couldn't hurt, right?

[00:48:33] True.

[00:48:34] I mean, obviously, they didn't know that there was going to be a holiday called Thanksgiving

[00:48:37] later.

[00:48:37] Ah.

[00:48:39] All right.

[00:48:39] Ready?

[00:48:40] Yeah.

[00:48:40] From inside the fish, Jonah prayed to the Lord his God.

[00:48:45] Bullshit.

[00:48:46] He said, in my distress, I called to the Lord, and he answered me.

[00:48:51] From deep in the realm of the dead, I called for help, and you listened to my cry.

[00:48:55] He.

[00:48:56] You.

[00:48:56] He.

[00:48:56] You.

[00:48:57] Which one?

[00:48:58] Pick a tense, guy.

[00:49:00] Given the fact that you can't live in the belly of a fish, and you would die.

[00:49:03] Yeah.

[00:49:04] This could be looked at as like a resurrection story.

[00:49:07] That is what we discussed yesterday.

[00:49:09] Right.

[00:49:09] But I mean, people assume that he just lived the whole time.

[00:49:11] Maybe he died.

[00:49:12] This is the way they're talking about it right now.

[00:49:15] This is the dead part.

[00:49:16] Right.

[00:49:16] Yeah.

[00:49:17] Yeah.

[00:49:17] You hurled me into the depths, into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me.

[00:49:23] All your waves and breakers swept over me.

[00:49:26] I said, I've been banished from your sight.

[00:49:29] Yet I will look again toward your holy temple.

[00:49:31] The engulfing waters threatened me.

[00:49:34] The deep surrounded me.

[00:49:37] Seaweed was wrapped around my fucking head.

[00:49:40] What?

[00:49:40] He ran away from God.

[00:49:42] Yeah, but now he's in the belly of a man.

[00:49:44] But now he's worried about being cast out?

[00:49:46] No.

[00:49:47] Oh.

[00:49:47] Okay.

[00:49:47] Now I'm praying.

[00:49:49] Okay.

[00:49:49] All right.

[00:49:49] And I'm praying to God.

[00:49:50] Like, I did this thing.

[00:49:53] You told me to do a thing.

[00:49:54] I didn't do it.

[00:49:56] You got pissed at me.

[00:49:57] And I went overboard.

[00:50:00] And a fish swallowed me.

[00:50:01] And now I realize that I can either die or pray to you.

[00:50:06] Got it.

[00:50:06] So I'm praying to you.

[00:50:07] All right.

[00:50:07] And there's fucking seaweed wrapped around my head.

[00:50:11] Right.

[00:50:11] Yeah.

[00:50:12] To the roots of the mountains I sank down.

[00:50:14] The earth beneath barred me in forever.

[00:50:18] But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit.

[00:50:22] When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord.

[00:50:26] And my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.

[00:50:30] When was his life ebbing away as he's sitting in the fish right now?

[00:50:33] I think so.

[00:50:34] Or when is this that we're talking about?

[00:50:35] That, this is, I think, yes.

[00:50:38] Is this prior to him waving his dick at Leviathan?

[00:50:40] Or?

[00:50:41] No, that was the Jewish legend.

[00:50:43] Or no, the, not the Jewish.

[00:50:45] Was it the Jewish legend?

[00:50:46] Or the Muslim legend?

[00:50:49] Probably Jewish.

[00:50:50] Probably.

[00:50:50] The Leviathan is something we talked about before, so.

[00:50:52] Yeah.

[00:50:53] So, yeah.

[00:50:55] I don't know.

[00:50:55] But that wasn't Bible.

[00:50:56] So that's not part of this.

[00:50:57] Okay.

[00:50:57] All right.

[00:50:57] All right.

[00:50:58] I mean, maybe it was.

[00:50:59] I was curious.

[00:50:59] I wasn't there.

[00:51:00] I didn't know where the dick waving came in.

[00:51:02] I didn't see what he did with his dick.

[00:51:03] So I don't know.

[00:51:04] All right.

[00:51:05] Those who cling to worthless idols, continues.

[00:51:08] Yeah.

[00:51:08] What's his face?

[00:51:09] Turn away from God's love for them.

[00:51:12] Jonah.

[00:51:12] Jonah.

[00:51:13] Jonah.

[00:51:13] But I, Jonah.

[00:51:14] Yeah.

[00:51:15] With shouts of grateful praise will sacrifice to you.

[00:51:18] What I have vowed, I will make good.

[00:51:21] Okay.

[00:51:22] I will say salvation comes from the Lord.

[00:51:24] Yeah.

[00:51:25] Okay.

[00:51:25] And final verse.

[00:51:27] Ready?

[00:51:27] Yeah.

[00:51:27] Oh, wow.

[00:51:28] Really?

[00:51:28] I told you it was short.

[00:51:29] This is really short.

[00:51:30] I told you it was short.

[00:51:31] And the Lord commanded the fish and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

[00:51:35] The end.

[00:51:36] Wow.

[00:51:36] That was.

[00:51:37] So he just had to pray once.

[00:51:39] Okay.

[00:51:39] Yeah.

[00:51:40] Pray for me.

[00:51:40] And it got vomited onto dry land.

[00:51:42] He didn't have to swim.

[00:51:43] He just was like.

[00:51:44] The fish like swam right up to the shore and was like, here you go, Jonah.

[00:51:47] Boop.

[00:51:47] Taxi ride's over.

[00:51:49] Right?

[00:51:49] I mean, what the fuck?

[00:51:50] Like, did he barf it or did he send it out of, out of his blowhole?

[00:51:55] Like, I'm imagining what this would look like in a movie scene and it's just really cheesy.

[00:51:59] Yeah.

[00:52:00] You know, like there's a fish literally swimming up to a shore and then spitting out a human.

[00:52:04] Okay.

[00:52:05] Wait.

[00:52:05] But remember in Star Trek 4, The Journey Home?

[00:52:09] Yeah.

[00:52:10] Remember how there was a whale?

[00:52:12] I do.

[00:52:12] And remember how Spock was like, he put his hand next to the glass and he was like communing with her and he was like, she's pregnant.

[00:52:21] Right.

[00:52:22] And then the lady was like, how do you know that?

[00:52:24] Nobody knows that.

[00:52:25] But then the next minute he's like swimming in the tank with the fucking whale.

[00:52:30] Right.

[00:52:30] Do you remember that?

[00:52:31] I do.

[00:52:31] Okay.

[00:52:33] So that happened.

[00:52:37] That happened where?

[00:52:38] What do you mean?

[00:52:39] So he, the whale.

[00:52:43] In Star Trek or in Jonah?

[00:52:45] In Jonah.

[00:52:45] In Jonah.

[00:52:46] Okay.

[00:52:46] Was just like swimming around and the guy was with him like Spock, only inside him, not with him.

[00:52:53] Sure, yeah.

[00:52:53] Not by him, but inside his belly.

[00:52:55] He put his hands on the intestinal wall.

[00:52:58] Yeah.

[00:52:58] Okay.

[00:52:59] And then the whale was like, you taste gross.

[00:53:02] And then went, bleh, and spit him like real far onto dry land.

[00:53:08] I'm not sure how you made the correlation between those two things, but.

[00:53:11] I'm not sure either in retrospect.

[00:53:13] I just really, like you say whale.

[00:53:15] You just really wanted to talk about Star Trek, I think.

[00:53:16] You say whale, I say Star Trek.

[00:53:18] Star Trek, whale.

[00:53:19] Star Trek, whale.

[00:53:22] I can't help it.

[00:53:23] Okay.

[00:53:24] Here's the thing.

[00:53:26] That movie came out at a very precious time in my life.

[00:53:29] Yeah.

[00:53:30] And it was a family movie.

[00:53:32] We saw it in theater.

[00:53:35] It just, I loved it so much.

[00:53:37] I hadn't seen any of the Star Treks preceding it.

[00:53:40] Not the show, not any of the movies before it.

[00:53:44] This is what got you into Star Trek?

[00:53:45] Yes.

[00:53:46] Because when I saw it, I thought it was kind of cheesy.

[00:53:49] No, I fucking loved it.

[00:53:51] And I loved the girl, and I wanted them to end up together forever.

[00:53:56] Oh, man.

[00:53:57] But you've watched Star Trek now, right?

[00:53:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:53:59] Oh, yeah.

[00:54:00] Wouldn't you agree that as far as like, I don't know.

[00:54:03] It was the 80s.

[00:54:04] No, I know.

[00:54:05] I know.

[00:54:05] I know.

[00:54:06] It was very 80s.

[00:54:08] It's out of character for like, I don't know.

[00:54:10] It's just different than any of the other Star Treks.

[00:54:12] It is.

[00:54:12] But it was trying to do something new and different.

[00:54:15] Right.

[00:54:15] And I appreciate it.

[00:54:16] I get that.

[00:54:17] I think that, I just, okay, I have a really, really hard time discerning if I like something

[00:54:24] or if I have good memories associated with it.

[00:54:28] Sure.

[00:54:28] Okay?

[00:54:29] Sure.

[00:54:29] Like, my carometer is busted.

[00:54:33] And so, like, I just, I have a really hard time gauging.

[00:54:37] So, when I think of that movie, I can recognize, it's probably not really that good a movie.

[00:54:43] And, like, nobody ever went back in time or forward in time ever again.

[00:54:47] Just that one time.

[00:54:48] I mean, they figured out how to do it.

[00:54:50] You slingshot the fucking sun.

[00:54:52] Right.

[00:54:52] You know?

[00:54:52] Right.

[00:54:53] That's it.

[00:54:53] That's all there is to it.

[00:54:54] I think that'd be a pretty simple concept to follow up with.

[00:54:56] But it never, it never happened ever again.

[00:54:59] Well, maybe they made laws.

[00:55:00] Like, hey, you can't do this shit.

[00:55:01] You mean like the one where you can't use your fucking warp drive because you're, like,

[00:55:07] literally tearing the fucking universe apart?

[00:55:10] Yes.

[00:55:11] Like that one.

[00:55:11] You know, you do it?

[00:55:12] Yeah.

[00:55:12] They didn't make any laws of that.

[00:55:14] Well, they did, but then they broke them again.

[00:55:16] They forgot about it.

[00:55:17] Yeah.

[00:55:17] Well, I am not a true fan.

[00:55:19] I would not call myself a Trekkie or a Trekker because I don't know nearly enough as the cultish

[00:55:27] fandom.

[00:55:27] We're merely Trekkie adjacent.

[00:55:30] I love Star Trek.

[00:55:31] I just don't know all the things.

[00:55:32] That's what I'm saying.

[00:55:32] Trekkie adjacent.

[00:55:33] Yeah.

[00:55:34] Yeah.

[00:55:35] So anyway, I just, I have very fond feelings for that movie.

[00:55:39] Cheesy as it is and plot hole ridden.

[00:55:42] And I just, I love it.

[00:55:43] I can't help it.

[00:55:44] No, I get it.

[00:55:44] And also, I went back afterwards.

[00:55:47] And now, of all the movies, Star Trek 3, The Search for Spock.

[00:55:53] Yeah.

[00:55:54] Is my favorite.

[00:55:54] That's a good one.

[00:55:55] Yeah.

[00:55:55] That's a good one.

[00:55:56] Yeah.

[00:55:56] I did not love The Wrath of Khan.

[00:55:59] Really?

[00:55:59] Number two.

[00:56:00] Because let me tell you, those earwigs, they, no, they freaked me the fuck out.

[00:56:05] I could not with those.

[00:56:07] I would say Wrath of Khan is probably my favorite, so.

[00:56:09] That tracks.

[00:56:10] Yeah.

[00:56:10] Yeah.

[00:56:10] No, I loved The Search for Spock.

[00:56:12] As far as the original movies go.

[00:56:14] Anyway.

[00:56:15] I just, I loved The Search for Spock because watching him go through that process, just, I

[00:56:21] don't know.

[00:56:22] I felt it.

[00:56:24] And then, you know, to then go watch 4 again and, you know, see, oh, that's why he was so

[00:56:32] weird in the beginning.

[00:56:33] Like, I know Spock is supposed to be logical, but he's like, oh, I'm disconnected from my

[00:56:38] human feelings.

[00:56:39] And like, I didn't understand the whole storyline.

[00:56:41] Right.

[00:56:42] You know, at the beginning of 4.

[00:56:44] Sure.

[00:56:44] Sure.

[00:56:44] It's because he had to regrow and redevelop all of it from, you know, that when he died

[00:56:50] in 3.

[00:56:50] Genesis, yeah.

[00:56:51] He died and was brought back to life.

[00:56:54] And it was called The Genesis Project.

[00:56:57] And we're reading the Bible and we're reading about Jonah and the whale who, and Jonah was

[00:57:03] resurrected.

[00:57:04] And wife struggles it all back.

[00:57:06] And Jonah is supposed to be a stand-in maybe for eventual Jesus.

[00:57:11] There you go.

[00:57:11] Spock is motherfucking Jesus.

[00:57:14] There you go.

[00:57:14] Holy shit.

[00:57:16] You heard it here first.

[00:57:17] Okay.

[00:57:17] Logical Jesus.

[00:57:18] We're done.

[00:57:19] That's it.

[00:57:21] Okay.

[00:57:21] I mean, I just, that was a bombshell.

[00:57:24] So, yeah.

[00:57:25] Oh, I do have one.

[00:57:26] I do.

[00:57:26] I'm sorry to interrupt your bombshell.

[00:57:29] But, I do have, so if anybody knows of a good place where I could find, like, a place

[00:57:34] to track down clips that I could find for Star Trek.

[00:57:37] There are so many great, relevant clips with regard to, you know.

[00:57:45] Politics, religion.

[00:57:47] Secular, like non-belief, secularism.

[00:57:49] Yeah.

[00:57:49] You know, there's so many things that I would love to clip out of different episodes.

[00:57:53] But the only place I can find it is in places where I can't use, like, screen capture things

[00:57:58] and whatever.

[00:57:59] And I'm like, come on.

[00:58:00] There's got to be somewhere where there's, like, a, just a wealth of Star Trek episodes.

[00:58:05] And as I'm thinking of it, I think I just figured out where I could find some.

[00:58:08] So.

[00:58:09] But, anyway.

[00:58:11] That's neither here nor there.

[00:58:12] Anyway.

[00:58:13] So, that was Jonah Chapter 2.

[00:58:15] Sure as fuck was.

[00:58:16] And a lot of Star Trek.

[00:58:17] I mean.

[00:58:19] Spock is Jesus.

[00:58:21] Like, that's going to stay with me.

[00:58:24] That was profound.

[00:58:26] Literally.

[00:58:27] Yeah.

[00:58:28] You're not.

[00:58:29] Well, I mean, I.

[00:58:30] The Genesis thing and the dying and the.

[00:58:32] I had put that together before.

[00:58:33] I just.

[00:58:33] I hadn't.

[00:58:34] Yeah.

[00:58:35] And.

[00:58:35] Oh, wow.

[00:58:37] That is just.

[00:58:38] Man.

[00:58:39] Okay.

[00:58:40] I'm sorry.

[00:58:40] I'm done.

[00:58:41] I'm done.

[00:58:41] All right, guys.

[00:58:42] We will be back tomorrow.

[00:58:44] Let's see.

[00:58:46] With the.

[00:58:48] Actually.

[00:58:49] Tomorrow will be our special episode.

[00:58:51] Mm-hmm.

[00:58:51] So, if you are listening to this today.

[00:58:54] That means that our live discord will be tonight.

[00:58:58] Tonight.

[00:59:00] 10 p.m.

[00:59:01] Eastern.

[00:59:01] On discord.

[00:59:02] There's always a link in the show notes.

[00:59:04] Please join us there.

[00:59:05] We'd love to have you.

[00:59:06] It's the most fun.

[00:59:07] It really is.

[00:59:08] And other than that.

[00:59:10] We will see you next time.

[00:59:12] Bye.

[00:59:13] Bye.

[00:59:19] Bye.

[00:59:20] Do you know what we're doing today?

[00:59:22] Yay.

[00:59:22] Well, yesterday we read Jonah chapter two.

[00:59:26] Sure as fuck did.

[00:59:26] And in that chapter.

[00:59:28] Let's see.

[00:59:29] Jonah was.

[00:59:31] Kind of.

[00:59:32] Realizing that he was in a bad spot.

[00:59:34] He was in a pickle.

[00:59:35] Yeah.

[00:59:36] Yeah.

[00:59:36] I mean.

[00:59:37] He was really in a fish.

[00:59:38] He was in a fish.

[00:59:40] Yeah.

[00:59:41] Although I guess there might be some.

[00:59:43] Pickles in the fish?

[00:59:44] Well, no.

[00:59:45] I've heard some people say that maybe this whole thing was just like a vision.

[00:59:49] I've heard people talk about some other possibilities.

[00:59:52] But anyway.

[00:59:54] Literally speaking.

[00:59:55] He was in a fish.

[00:59:56] According to the Bible.

[00:59:57] Right?

[00:59:58] Was the fish pickled?

[00:59:59] I don't know.

[01:00:00] Was Jonah pickled?

[01:00:01] Yeah.

[01:00:02] I mean.

[01:00:03] I don't know.

[01:00:04] Okay.

[01:00:04] Anyway.

[01:00:05] Yeah.

[01:00:05] As he was in there.

[01:00:06] He decided to give a prayer of thanksgiving to God.

[01:00:08] Yeah.

[01:00:09] As you do when you're stuck in a whale.

[01:00:10] When you're stuck in a fish.

[01:00:11] Yeah.

[01:00:11] And then God's like.

[01:00:13] Yeah, dude.

[01:00:13] I'm going to make the fish vomit you out on the right land.

[01:00:16] So then.

[01:00:16] The end.

[01:00:17] That was it.

[01:00:17] Yeah.

[01:00:18] That was Jonah chapter two.

[01:00:20] So.

[01:00:21] That chapter was so stupid.

[01:00:22] Yeah.

[01:00:23] It was really dumb.

[01:00:25] So anyway.

[01:00:26] That was Jonah chapter two.

[01:00:28] Which means that today we're getting into.

[01:00:29] Jonah chapter three.

[01:00:31] All right.

[01:00:32] Let's do this.

[01:00:32] Okie dokie.

[01:00:39] All right.

[01:00:40] Let's hop into Jonah three.

[01:00:41] All right.

[01:00:43] Sorry.

[01:00:44] I'm feeling sorry.

[01:00:45] You are wound up lately.

[01:00:47] I don't know what you're.

[01:00:48] What is up.

[01:00:49] Okay.

[01:00:49] Here's the thing.

[01:00:50] I'm at a really dark place in my life right now.

[01:00:54] Uh huh.

[01:00:54] And I'm trying so hard to be happy that I'm overcompensating.

[01:00:59] Got it.

[01:01:00] See what I'm saying.

[01:01:02] Yeah.

[01:01:02] I see what you're saying.

[01:01:03] All right.

[01:01:04] Yeah.

[01:01:05] Jonah chapter three.

[01:01:07] Don't worry.

[01:01:07] Wife is fine.

[01:01:08] Oh yeah.

[01:01:09] I'm sorry.

[01:01:09] I'm fine.

[01:01:10] Yeah.

[01:01:10] I'm at dark place like we all are.

[01:01:12] That dark hell of the prospect of what's going to happen to the world in the next four years.

[01:01:18] Got it.

[01:01:18] That's what I meant.

[01:01:19] Okay.

[01:01:20] All right.

[01:01:20] The one dark place.

[01:01:21] I was just trying to make sure that you didn't like leave people hanging like you know.

[01:01:24] I'm in a whatever.

[01:01:25] So we got it.

[01:01:26] There we go.

[01:01:27] I hurt myself today.

[01:01:31] Like that?

[01:01:32] Something like that.

[01:01:33] Yeah.

[01:01:33] Which version of that song do you like better?

[01:01:35] I don't even know what you're talking about.

[01:01:37] Nine Inch Nails or Johnny Cash.

[01:01:40] I hurt myself today.

[01:01:42] I mean I'm always a fan of Johnny Cash.

[01:01:46] Right.

[01:01:47] But I like Nine Inch Nails too.

[01:01:48] But obviously Johnny Cash did it first.

[01:01:50] Well I mean it was his.

[01:01:51] No it was their song.

[01:01:52] Wait.

[01:01:53] No it was their song.

[01:01:53] It was their song but he did it better.

[01:01:55] So yeah.

[01:01:56] I don't know.

[01:01:57] I don't know.

[01:01:58] It was tragic.

[01:01:59] It was hard.

[01:01:59] Yeah.

[01:02:00] Johnny Cash did a great job with it though.

[01:02:01] That made me cry.

[01:02:02] Like all the tears.

[01:02:04] Okay.

[01:02:04] But yeah.

[01:02:05] That's not what I'm not that.

[01:02:06] Okay.

[01:02:07] Okay.

[01:02:07] Yeah.

[01:02:07] All right.

[01:02:08] So I'm going to read this.

[01:02:09] Ready?

[01:02:09] I'm ready.

[01:02:10] Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.

[01:02:14] A second time.

[01:02:15] Right.

[01:02:15] After he got vomited out.

[01:02:16] He's vomited out.

[01:02:17] Okay.

[01:02:17] Okay.

[01:02:17] Yeah.

[01:02:18] And this is what he said.

[01:02:19] He goes go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.

[01:02:25] Okay.

[01:02:26] Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh as you do.

[01:02:30] It helps that he's out of the fish.

[01:02:32] Because he got vomited up on dry land.

[01:02:34] Yeah.

[01:02:35] Yeah.

[01:02:36] Now Nineveh was a very large city.

[01:02:39] Okay.

[01:02:39] It took three days to go through it.

[01:02:41] Wow.

[01:02:42] Like walking from one side to the other.

[01:02:44] Yeah.

[01:02:44] Three days to walk.

[01:02:46] Right.

[01:02:46] Yeah.

[01:02:47] But by car, how many would that be?

[01:02:49] Because I mean, you might take three days to walk across.

[01:02:51] It wouldn't take long.

[01:02:51] No?

[01:02:52] Yeah.

[01:02:52] I mean, it would take probably longer than that to walk across New York.

[01:02:54] Yeah.

[01:02:55] That's what I was thinking.

[01:02:55] Like, okay.

[01:02:56] Like we live in Dayton, Ohio area.

[01:02:58] Right.

[01:02:59] Like how far, how long would it take to walk across it?

[01:03:03] I don't know.

[01:03:04] I would say at least a couple of days at the very least.

[01:03:06] You think so?

[01:03:07] A couple of days?

[01:03:08] Maybe.

[01:03:08] Okay.

[01:03:09] Yeah.

[01:03:09] I don't know.

[01:03:09] And it depends on what you consider dating, right?

[01:03:11] Yeah.

[01:03:12] That is true.

[01:03:13] Because if you do that, then it could take you many days.

[01:03:16] And we don't know how cities were set up back then.

[01:03:19] Maybe they were more sprawling, you know?

[01:03:20] Like instead of being very straightforward.

[01:03:23] They didn't have high rises and stuff.

[01:03:24] Yeah.

[01:03:25] You know?

[01:03:25] Yeah.

[01:03:25] Well, do you consider Xenia and Yellow Springs part of Dayton?

[01:03:30] I mean, if I'm talking about generalizing the area.

[01:03:32] It depends who you're talking to.

[01:03:33] Yeah.

[01:03:33] Right.

[01:03:34] Yeah.

[01:03:34] Like if you're in Dayton, obviously no.

[01:03:36] Right.

[01:03:37] But definitely say Dayton area.

[01:03:38] Yeah.

[01:03:39] Yeah.

[01:03:39] Okay.

[01:03:39] Okay.

[01:03:40] So anyways, really big fucking city.

[01:03:42] Took three days to walk all the way through it.

[01:03:44] Sure.

[01:03:45] Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city.

[01:03:49] So he's a third of the way across.

[01:03:50] Okay.

[01:03:51] Okay.

[01:03:51] Mm-hmm.

[01:03:52] And he proclaimed, 40 more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.

[01:03:57] 40, huh?

[01:03:59] 40.

[01:03:59] I'm just saying.

[01:04:01] Bible really likes 40.

[01:04:02] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:02] Yeah.

[01:04:02] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:03] And so he's like telling them this, like, it's gonna, I just wanted to let you know.

[01:04:10] Okay.

[01:04:10] Okay.

[01:04:11] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:11] The Ninevites believed God.

[01:04:14] Or Jonah.

[01:04:16] I guess.

[01:04:16] But it says God.

[01:04:17] But I think they meant to say Jonah.

[01:04:19] Right.

[01:04:19] Because God's not talking to them.

[01:04:21] It's Jonah.

[01:04:22] Jonah.

[01:04:22] And Jonah's saying that God's talking to them.

[01:04:24] Mm-hmm.

[01:04:24] But they believed him?

[01:04:25] They believed him.

[01:04:25] Because this is weird.

[01:04:26] This is the Bible.

[01:04:27] Normally they don't believe the person talking.

[01:04:29] Oh, yeah.

[01:04:29] Yeah, I took the notes on this.

[01:04:30] This chapter is like, get the fuck out.

[01:04:32] Right.

[01:04:32] Okay.

[01:04:33] So, yeah, totally against all odds and everything that we've read in the Bible up to now.

[01:04:38] Yeah.

[01:04:38] The people that were preached at believed the preacher.

[01:04:41] Huh.

[01:04:42] A fast was proclaimed and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.

[01:04:48] Oh.

[01:04:48] They were like, fuck me.

[01:04:49] Wow.

[01:04:50] 40 days?

[01:04:50] Oh, I got lots of repentant.

[01:04:52] Yeah.

[01:04:52] Woo.

[01:04:53] Right.

[01:04:53] When Jonah's warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off

[01:04:59] his royal robes, covered himself with a sackcloth, and sat down in the dust.

[01:05:04] I'm going to call bullshit on this story.

[01:05:06] I think when they, remember in the intro part before chapter one, when I said that some believe

[01:05:12] this is satire?

[01:05:13] Right.

[01:05:14] This.

[01:05:15] This is what I think they were referring to.

[01:05:17] Okay.

[01:05:18] They're like, imagine all the people.

[01:05:22] No.

[01:05:24] Imagine if there was this one city and they actually fucking listened.

[01:05:27] Right.

[01:05:28] Imagine.

[01:05:28] Yeah.

[01:05:29] What do you think?

[01:05:29] Because it hasn't happened yet in the Bible.

[01:05:30] Right.

[01:05:31] That's what I'm saying.

[01:05:32] So, yeah.

[01:05:33] Satire all the way, baby.

[01:05:34] Okay.

[01:05:34] Okay.

[01:05:34] All right.

[01:05:35] Or at least, like, let's pretend that there was a good city.

[01:05:39] Sure.

[01:05:39] What would that look like?

[01:05:40] Right.

[01:05:40] Well, they would put on sackcloth.

[01:05:42] They would believe the guy proclaiming the end of the world is nigh in 40 days, and they

[01:05:48] would put on sackcloth and sit in the dust.

[01:05:50] Got it.

[01:05:50] From the greatest to the least, including the king.

[01:05:52] All right.

[01:05:53] Yeah.

[01:05:53] So, this is the proclamation the king issued in Nineveh.

[01:05:58] By the decree of the king and his nobles, do not let people or animals, herds or flocks

[01:06:04] taste anything.

[01:06:05] Because remember, they're doing a fast.

[01:06:06] Right.

[01:06:06] And you're going to stop your animals from eating.

[01:06:08] Yeah.

[01:06:09] Okay.

[01:06:09] Do not let them eat or drink.

[01:06:11] Oh, wait.

[01:06:12] That's not going to work out very well.

[01:06:13] I thought the fast includes the drink.

[01:06:16] Because if you're not drinking.

[01:06:17] I mean, you've got to drink.

[01:06:19] But it says eat or drink.

[01:06:20] But if you're not eating or drinking, you're not fasting.

[01:06:23] You're literally not intaking things that you intake.

[01:06:30] What?

[01:06:32] I'm not following.

[01:06:33] Okay.

[01:06:34] You're not fasting.

[01:06:35] You're merely, like, cutting off everything.

[01:06:40] That's different.

[01:06:41] Fasting is just not eating food.

[01:06:43] I thought fasting was not eating food, but you're still taking in liquids.

[01:06:46] Right.

[01:06:47] That's what I'm saying.

[01:06:48] You're just not eating food.

[01:06:49] Yeah.

[01:06:49] So, if you cut off liquids as well, you're no longer fasting.

[01:06:53] You're doing something.

[01:06:54] You're dying.

[01:06:54] You're dying.

[01:06:55] Yeah.

[01:06:55] That's what I'm saying.

[01:06:56] That's what I was trying to get at.

[01:06:57] Yeah.

[01:06:58] You're just dying.

[01:06:58] All right.

[01:06:59] But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth.

[01:07:03] That'll do it.

[01:07:03] You're going to cover your animals in sackcloth.

[01:07:05] Wow.

[01:07:06] Okay.

[01:07:06] Come here, little chicken.

[01:07:08] Get this sackcloth on me.

[01:07:08] This must have been a very interesting scene, huh?

[01:07:10] Mm-hmm.

[01:07:11] Let everyone call urgently on God.

[01:07:14] Hello, 911.

[01:07:14] This is God.

[01:07:16] What's your emergency?

[01:07:18] Let them give up their evil ways and their violence.

[01:07:23] Okay.

[01:07:23] Do it.

[01:07:24] Who knows?

[01:07:25] Question mark.

[01:07:26] Right.

[01:07:27] God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not

[01:07:32] perish.

[01:07:32] We were a fuck face this morning, but we got the message.

[01:07:35] We got the sackcloth on.

[01:07:36] Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[01:07:37] I didn't mean to kill that guy.

[01:07:38] I'm just kidding.

[01:07:39] No, no, no, no.

[01:07:39] I'm good.

[01:07:40] I'm good.

[01:07:40] I'm good.

[01:07:41] I'll be good now.

[01:07:41] Please don't burn me.

[01:07:42] Don't kill us.

[01:07:43] Yeah.

[01:07:43] I mean, I did have a lot of fun up until now, but I'm totally sorry.

[01:07:48] We're done now.

[01:07:48] We're done.

[01:07:48] We're never going to do it ever again.

[01:07:49] It's over.

[01:07:49] Yeah.

[01:07:50] Yeah.

[01:07:50] When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did not

[01:07:56] bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

[01:07:59] The end.

[01:08:00] Wow.

[01:08:00] Wow.

[01:08:01] That's a first.

[01:08:02] Yeah.

[01:08:03] I mean, I don't believe it at all.

[01:08:05] At all.

[01:08:06] I mean, look, there's a lot of things I don't believe in the Bible, right?

[01:08:09] Right.

[01:08:09] I mean, I don't believe most of it is true.

[01:08:11] Right.

[01:08:12] Agreed.

[01:08:12] So, you know, but this story in particular.

[01:08:15] This is over the top.

[01:08:16] I mean, okay, look, we're talking about a dude that rode in a goddamn fish, got spit

[01:08:21] out by it, and now got an entire city like a few days later to like put on sackcloth.

[01:08:27] I have a question for you.

[01:08:28] Yeah.

[01:08:28] This is a doozy.

[01:08:29] Okay.

[01:08:30] Yeah.

[01:08:30] Okay.

[01:08:30] And you can only pick one and you have to pick one, which is more unbelievable.

[01:08:37] The whale in chapter two or the city in chapter three.

[01:08:43] Hmm.

[01:08:44] The whale.

[01:08:44] You think?

[01:08:45] Yeah.

[01:08:46] Because the city is people that could, could, if they were under enough distress, be convinced

[01:08:54] of something.

[01:08:54] See, I was going the other way because I was thinking, well, no, not like him.

[01:09:00] Talking to God inside the whale and getting spit out and all that.

[01:09:04] But like a guy can get swallowed by a whale.

[01:09:06] A guy has been swallowed by a whale.

[01:09:08] Sure.

[01:09:09] But they can't live.

[01:09:10] I mean, I don't know.

[01:09:11] No.

[01:09:12] I mean, scientifically, they can't live.

[01:09:13] I know.

[01:09:14] But there is a guy who claimed it happened to him.

[01:09:16] But anyway, no, I totally agree with you.

[01:09:17] But a guy can get swallowed by a whale.

[01:09:20] Sure.

[01:09:20] Okay.

[01:09:20] And a guy can also claim he was swallowed by a whale.

[01:09:25] Right.

[01:09:25] Right.

[01:09:26] Yeah.

[01:09:26] But there is no fucking way that he walked a third of the way into the city and was like,

[01:09:31] God's coming.

[01:09:31] And everybody just one, two, three, go was like, oh, shit.

[01:09:35] Right.

[01:09:35] No way.

[01:09:36] Yeah.

[01:09:37] So for me, like the same reason that you're like, no, this could happen.

[01:09:42] Like you're pulling for the whale being more unbelievable.

[01:09:45] Yeah.

[01:09:46] I'm pulling for any people ever coming together on a dime.

[01:09:50] I still stick to the whale being the most unbelievable.

[01:09:53] You cannot get three people in a car to agree on a music station.

[01:09:59] You put these two things together and it's very unbelievable.

[01:10:01] It's beyond unbelievable.

[01:10:02] That's what I'm saying.

[01:10:03] Yeah.

[01:10:03] Both of them.

[01:10:04] Both of them were over the top.

[01:10:05] Yeah.

[01:10:06] Yeah.

[01:10:06] You know what the most believable part of the story was?

[01:10:10] Chapter one, when he was like, fuck me, I'm not doing that.

[01:10:13] Bye.

[01:10:14] Right.

[01:10:14] Right.

[01:10:15] That is very believable.

[01:10:16] Yeah.

[01:10:16] That is believable.

[01:10:17] Yeah.

[01:10:18] So.

[01:10:19] But this is, this is a fish story.

[01:10:23] Indeed it is.

[01:10:24] Yeah.

[01:10:24] So what do you expect?

[01:10:26] You know?

[01:10:26] Oh, that's funny.

[01:10:27] All right.

[01:10:28] Well, that was Jonah chapter three.

[01:10:29] Sure spoke was.

[01:10:30] Which means that, actually we're going to be back later today with.

[01:10:34] Jonah chapter four.

[01:10:36] And that will finish the book.

[01:10:37] Yeah.

[01:10:38] All right.

[01:10:38] We'll see you then.

[01:10:39] Bye.

[01:10:46] And.

[01:10:46] Wife.

[01:10:47] Do you know what we're doing today?

[01:10:50] Well, we're catching up.

[01:10:52] So we're doing our second episode today, which is going to, well, what we did earlier today.

[01:10:58] Like 10 minutes ago we finished recording number three.

[01:10:59] Yeah, it was Jonah chapter three.

[01:11:01] Mm-hmm.

[01:11:02] And in that chapter, Jonah had just been spit up by the fish.

[01:11:05] Mm-hmm.

[01:11:06] Right.

[01:11:06] And God was like, hey, dude, go to Nineveh.

[01:11:09] He's like, I.

[01:11:10] Yeah.

[01:11:10] And so he did.

[01:11:11] He went to Nineveh.

[01:11:12] And he's like proclaiming shit as he's going about a third of the way through the city.

[01:11:16] And then the whole city puts on fucking sackcloth.

[01:11:18] And the king's like, hey, I'm putting on sackcloth.

[01:11:21] And then we're not going to eat or drink anything.

[01:11:23] And the animals aren't going to eat or drink anything.

[01:11:25] And then God was like, cool, man.

[01:11:26] You guys did good.

[01:11:27] Yeah.

[01:11:27] And that was basically it, which is completely unrealistic based on everything I've read in the Bible thus far.

[01:11:34] Facts.

[01:11:35] So I don't know what's going on, but it's weird shit.

[01:11:38] Mm-hmm.

[01:11:38] And so this prophet apparently has some extra super convincing people powers.

[01:11:44] I mean.

[01:11:44] I'm not really sure what's happening.

[01:11:45] He lived in a whale.

[01:11:47] It doesn't get better than that.

[01:11:49] Yeah.

[01:11:50] Yeah.

[01:11:50] Something like that.

[01:11:51] So that was Jonah chapter three.

[01:11:53] Sure as fuck was.

[01:11:53] Which means that right now we're doing Jonah chapter four and finishing the book.

[01:11:59] Did I steal your thunder?

[01:12:00] Well, I just was making sure we said it.

[01:12:02] That's all.

[01:12:03] So yeah, we're finishing Jonah.

[01:12:05] That's another book of the Bible.

[01:12:07] Done.

[01:12:08] Done.

[01:12:08] We are so close to finishing the Old Testament.

[01:12:11] Yeah.

[01:12:12] It's crazy.

[01:12:13] It really is.

[01:12:13] Really is.

[01:12:14] This has been a journey.

[01:12:15] Yeah.

[01:12:16] And we're getting there.

[01:12:17] Like we can literally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[01:12:20] Yeah.

[01:12:20] This is crazy.

[01:12:21] Yeah.

[01:12:21] So you ready to do this?

[01:12:23] I sure as fuck am.

[01:12:24] All right.

[01:12:24] Let's do it.

[01:12:24] Okie dokie.

[01:12:32] All right.

[01:12:32] We're about to get into this.

[01:12:34] Jonah chapter four.

[01:12:35] All right.

[01:12:36] We're going to finish it.

[01:12:37] We are.

[01:12:37] We're going to end it.

[01:12:38] Yep.

[01:12:39] It's going to be done.

[01:12:40] It will.

[01:12:40] Okay.

[01:12:41] Ready?

[01:12:41] I'm ready.

[01:12:42] Okay.

[01:12:43] Aw.

[01:12:43] But to Jonah, this seemed very wrong and he became angry.

[01:12:47] Wait.

[01:12:47] What?

[01:12:49] Fuck.

[01:12:50] They listened to me.

[01:12:51] What's going on?

[01:12:52] And God forgave them those bitches.

[01:12:54] God damn it.

[01:12:54] This isn't right.

[01:12:56] All the other prophets have all kinds of problems with these fuckers.

[01:12:59] Yeah.

[01:12:59] So he went praying to the Lord.

[01:13:01] He was like, this is unbelievable.

[01:13:02] It's too fucking easy, man.

[01:13:03] What's going on?

[01:13:04] Nobody's going to believe this shit.

[01:13:05] Right?

[01:13:05] Yeah.

[01:13:06] And you know what, Jonah?

[01:13:07] We don't.

[01:13:07] You're right.

[01:13:07] Yeah.

[01:13:08] We don't believe it.

[01:13:10] I'm sorry.

[01:13:12] He prayed to the Lord.

[01:13:14] Isn't this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home?

[01:13:17] This is what I tried to forestall by fling to Tarshish.

[01:13:20] I knew that you were a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love.

[01:13:25] Oh, is that what he is?

[01:13:26] A God who relents from sending calamity.

[01:13:28] Oh.

[01:13:28] Is that what he is?

[01:13:30] Is that what you know?

[01:13:31] Shit.

[01:13:32] That's why you ran from him, huh?

[01:13:33] I don't think you got the whole story, asshole.

[01:13:35] I don't think he's being completely honest.

[01:13:37] If I'm, you know, I'm just saying.

[01:13:39] Like, I don't think that's true.

[01:13:41] I don't understand what he's...

[01:13:42] Why would you run from a compassionate God that doesn't make any sense?

[01:13:45] Yeah.

[01:13:45] Go do a thing for the good.

[01:13:47] No.

[01:13:48] Right.

[01:13:49] Yeah.

[01:13:49] What?

[01:13:49] That doesn't make any fucking sense.

[01:13:51] Yeah.

[01:13:51] Oh, he's still talking.

[01:13:53] Okay.

[01:13:53] All right.

[01:13:53] Jonah's praying and he's like, now, Lord, take away my life for it is better for me

[01:13:57] to die than to live.

[01:13:59] Wait, what?

[01:13:59] I don't understand.

[01:14:00] What is happening here?

[01:14:01] I have no...

[01:14:02] I don't understand.

[01:14:03] He was in a fish.

[01:14:05] He fucking lived.

[01:14:06] He went to Nineveh.

[01:14:07] He did what God said.

[01:14:08] They listened to him.

[01:14:09] They did what he said God said to do.

[01:14:11] And now he's going to take his life because he...

[01:14:13] Why?

[01:14:14] Why?

[01:14:14] What is happening here?

[01:14:15] I did not fully...

[01:14:16] We got cues.

[01:14:17] Well, fuck yeah.

[01:14:18] I'm going to get me some A's.

[01:14:19] Yeah, right.

[01:14:19] Like, everything up till now was not really a question.

[01:14:22] It was just like, whatever, that's stupid.

[01:14:24] Yeah.

[01:14:24] Well, this is really stupid.

[01:14:25] This is a question, though.

[01:14:26] Yeah.

[01:14:27] This is not just whatever.

[01:14:28] Right.

[01:14:29] This is...

[01:14:30] I feel like this guy just is depressed or something.

[01:14:32] Right?

[01:14:32] I don't know what's going on here.

[01:14:33] Dude, do you need Xanax or Jack Daniels?

[01:14:35] Yeah.

[01:14:35] I don't know, but...

[01:14:38] Okay.

[01:14:38] But the Lord replied.

[01:14:40] He was like...

[01:14:40] Yeah.

[01:14:41] Okay.

[01:14:42] Listen.

[01:14:43] Listen.

[01:14:43] Listen.

[01:14:43] He goes, is it right for you to be angry?

[01:14:47] What?

[01:14:48] When was he...

[01:14:49] What is he angry about?

[01:14:51] That's what the Lord's saying.

[01:14:52] He's like, Jonah, the fuck?

[01:14:54] Is it right for you to...

[01:14:55] You're telling me you want to die and shit.

[01:14:56] Is he angry at the fact that these people listened or that they were shitty and they got forgiven?

[01:15:01] Or what's he angry about?

[01:15:02] I don't really know.

[01:15:03] Maybe the ride in the fish wasn't as pleasant as he says.

[01:15:05] You know?

[01:15:06] I don't know.

[01:15:06] Maybe it was more pleasant.

[01:15:08] All right.

[01:15:09] Listen.

[01:15:10] Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city.

[01:15:14] You know, where the sun rises.

[01:15:16] Okay.

[01:15:16] Right.

[01:15:17] Yeah.

[01:15:17] So he's praying to Ra.

[01:15:21] Just kidding.

[01:15:22] Just kidding.

[01:15:23] There, he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade, and waited to see what would happen to the city.

[01:15:30] Okay.

[01:15:31] It's like he's mad that God forgave them.

[01:15:33] I guess.

[01:15:35] He's like, but they were bad.

[01:15:36] I'm not understanding what's happening here.

[01:15:39] I don't understand either.

[01:15:39] Yeah.

[01:15:40] Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant.

[01:15:43] I wonder if it was the same kind of plant that Gilgamesh...

[01:15:48] In our special, we talked about how that inputinpupu, the guy that lived forever.

[01:15:53] Yeah.

[01:15:54] The immortal guy.

[01:15:54] Right.

[01:15:55] And he's like, hey, Gilgamesh, there's a plant down there that'll help you be young.

[01:16:00] Go get it.

[01:16:01] Right.

[01:16:01] Remember?

[01:16:02] I wonder if it's that one.

[01:16:03] Or maybe it's just weed or something.

[01:16:05] Or algae.

[01:16:06] Yeah.

[01:16:06] Yeah.

[01:16:07] Then the Lord God provided a leafy plant and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort.

[01:16:16] But he already built a shelter.

[01:16:18] Right?

[01:16:18] And he sat in its shade.

[01:16:19] Yeah, right?

[01:16:20] He's like, here's some more shade on top of your shade.

[01:16:22] Yeah, that's okay.

[01:16:23] Fine.

[01:16:24] This is a weird story, right?

[01:16:25] This is a weird story.

[01:16:26] This is a weird story.

[01:16:26] Things not right here.

[01:16:27] No, we just took a weird story and made it like non...

[01:16:32] What?

[01:16:32] Right.

[01:16:33] This doesn't make sense.

[01:16:33] It's like they had a happy ending.

[01:16:35] They're like, we can't have that.

[01:16:36] Right?

[01:16:36] We've got to make something difficult here.

[01:16:38] Jonah, you're the problem.

[01:16:41] And Jonah was very happy about the plant.

[01:16:43] Well, I'm glad he's happy about it.

[01:16:44] You know what?

[01:16:45] Maybe it was weed.

[01:16:46] I think you're right.

[01:16:46] Right, yeah.

[01:16:47] But at dawn the next day, God provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered.

[01:16:54] What?

[01:16:54] What?

[01:16:55] This is so random.

[01:16:56] What is going on here?

[01:16:57] I wonder if a wild alligator will come eat the worm.

[01:17:00] Is this supposed to be like a metaphor for what's happening to Nineveh right now?

[01:17:04] Like they agreed to capitulate to God.

[01:17:06] And then as he went out to his shelter, they're like, you know what?

[01:17:09] No, we're going to go back to our old ways as soon as he left town.

[01:17:11] I don't know.

[01:17:12] Okay.

[01:17:12] When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind and the sun blazed on Jonah's head

[01:17:19] so that he grew faint.

[01:17:20] He wanted to die and said, it would be better for me to die than to live.

[01:17:28] He is depressed.

[01:17:30] Yeah.

[01:17:30] But God said to Jonah, is it right for you to be angry about the plant?

[01:17:35] Yeah, because you did it.

[01:17:37] But I think the point is, I think the point God's trying to make is you didn't have the

[01:17:43] plant in the first place and I gave it to you.

[01:17:45] I can give and take away.

[01:17:46] Oh, I see.

[01:17:47] I give you a thing.

[01:17:49] I feel like there's some backstory here we're not getting about Jonah, right?

[01:17:52] Yeah.

[01:17:52] Like maybe something bad happened to him that he blamed God for.

[01:17:56] Yeah.

[01:17:57] And that's why he ran away.

[01:17:58] I feel like there's something missing pre-chapter one, but I also feel like there's something

[01:18:03] missing between three and four.

[01:18:05] Yeah.

[01:18:07] I'm very confused as to what's happening here.

[01:18:09] Yeah.

[01:18:09] Same, same.

[01:18:10] But I think that this is supposed to be an analogy for I can give something, but if I take it

[01:18:16] away, you don't get to be mad about it because it was never yours.

[01:18:19] You know what this reminds me of?

[01:18:20] Okay.

[01:18:21] Okay.

[01:18:21] This is a good analogy.

[01:18:23] Okay.

[01:18:24] Better than his stupid analogy.

[01:18:25] Okay.

[01:18:26] So there was this company, right?

[01:18:28] And the owner or president or whatever the fuck, he every morning brought everybody

[01:18:34] coffee, right?

[01:18:35] Yeah.

[01:18:36] And he was just very generous and he was like, everybody should have coffee.

[01:18:41] Well, some of the workers, like most people were like, yeah, that's cool.

[01:18:45] And some were like, I don't like coffee, but that's cool too.

[01:18:47] You know, whatever.

[01:18:48] Sure.

[01:18:48] I can bring my own water or pop from home.

[01:18:51] That's fine.

[01:18:51] Right.

[01:18:51] But there was like two or three people that were like, fuck you.

[01:18:55] If you're going to give coffee to them, you should give me something too.

[01:18:58] I'm owed.

[01:18:59] Right.

[01:18:59] They can't have something that I can't have.

[01:19:01] That's not them.

[01:19:02] Right.

[01:19:03] Right.

[01:19:03] And so the owner president guy.

[01:19:07] Yeah.

[01:19:07] He stopped bringing coffee because he's like, well, I just won't.

[01:19:11] Yeah.

[01:19:11] Yeah.

[01:19:11] I won't bring anything.

[01:19:12] He just killed it for everybody then.

[01:19:13] Right.

[01:19:14] And I think it was required to, I think he was told he had to.

[01:19:17] Yeah.

[01:19:18] And I'm just like, okay, this is off topic.

[01:19:21] But I think that like, if that was me, I would be like, oh, then I will meet everybody outside

[01:19:27] and give you your coffee there off the fucking clock because I can give things to people if

[01:19:31] I want to.

[01:19:32] And I'm going to give this to you.

[01:19:34] If you don't want this gift, you can dump it on the ground.

[01:19:37] But my gift to you is not pop.

[01:19:41] Right.

[01:19:41] My gift to you, you don't get to pick your, this is not secret Santa.

[01:19:45] You know, you don't get to choose what I am freely giving to you out of my own pocket

[01:19:50] and then be mad that you don't like to, you know what you can do.

[01:19:54] You can fuck right off.

[01:19:55] Now it does matter kind of whether there was a business funds being used and or personal

[01:20:00] funds being used.

[01:20:01] Right.

[01:20:02] Somewhat.

[01:20:03] Okay.

[01:20:03] I'm just saying, but it's my understanding that it was out of his own pocket and he just

[01:20:07] was like, sure.

[01:20:08] What?

[01:20:08] I just give coffee to everybody.

[01:20:10] Right.

[01:20:10] Right.

[01:20:11] What you do when you're rich and not an asshole.

[01:20:13] Sure.

[01:20:13] Or want to appear not to be an asshole anyway.

[01:20:15] Right.

[01:20:15] So I think that analogy though of the, I didn't have to give you anything.

[01:20:21] You don't want it.

[01:20:21] I'll take it away.

[01:20:22] Right.

[01:20:23] I think that is the analogy that God is trying to make.

[01:20:26] Okay.

[01:20:27] Right.

[01:20:27] Like you didn't.

[01:20:28] Well, I mean, based on what we've read of the Bible, I feel like God is like, I gave

[01:20:32] everything.

[01:20:34] The entire plan of this mind to give or take away.

[01:20:38] Right.

[01:20:38] And you know, if I choose to take something away, it's not about you.

[01:20:42] Don't worry about it.

[01:20:43] I gave it to you in the first place.

[01:20:44] So it doesn't really.

[01:20:45] You're backing up what I said.

[01:20:46] Yeah.

[01:20:46] Yeah.

[01:20:47] Okay.

[01:20:47] So I, yeah.

[01:20:48] Okay.

[01:20:48] So I thought that was really astute of me, by the way.

[01:20:51] Yeah.

[01:20:51] You should have said, that's an actual great analogy.

[01:20:54] Why?

[01:20:54] Great analogy.

[01:20:55] Wife.

[01:20:55] Okay.

[01:20:56] Cool.

[01:20:56] Cool.

[01:20:56] Thanks.

[01:20:57] Okay.

[01:20:57] Anyway, he goes, I'm so angry.

[01:20:59] I wish I were dead.

[01:21:00] But the Lord said, oh, wait, but God said to Jonah, is it right for you to be angry about

[01:21:05] the plant?

[01:21:06] It is.

[01:21:07] He said, and I'm so angry.

[01:21:09] I wish I were dead.

[01:21:10] What the fuck?

[01:21:11] But the Lord said, you have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it

[01:21:16] or make it grow.

[01:21:17] It sprang up overnight and died overnight.

[01:21:20] And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than

[01:21:25] 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left and also many animals?

[01:21:31] The end.

[01:21:32] This is it?

[01:21:33] That's it for Jonah?

[01:21:34] That's it for Jonah.

[01:21:36] What a confusing fucking, like, what is the point of this story?

[01:21:42] Um, I don't understand.

[01:21:44] The Lord God is very forgiving and, but he doesn't have to be.

[01:21:49] And he's very, um, wonderful, but he doesn't have to be.

[01:21:54] And he's very generous, but he doesn't have to be.

[01:21:56] Well, I, the fact that Jonah went out of town to sit and see what happened in Nineveh,

[01:22:02] right?

[01:22:02] It's like he was hoping.

[01:22:04] It's like he didn't trust what God was going to do.

[01:22:05] Well, he was, he was hoping that God would go ahead and bomb them anyway.

[01:22:09] I don't know what he was hoping for.

[01:22:10] But he's like, I'm just watching this scene.

[01:22:12] He definitely had a suspicion that what was said was going to happen wasn't what was going

[01:22:17] to happen.

[01:22:18] Right.

[01:22:18] Right?

[01:22:19] But he was, he also said that he was mad.

[01:22:22] So he was mad that God was sparing them.

[01:22:25] Okay, maybe.

[01:22:26] Or mad that the people repented so quickly.

[01:22:28] But that's what I'm not understanding.

[01:22:30] Yeah.

[01:22:30] What is he fucking mad about?

[01:22:31] What is he upset about?

[01:22:32] I don't get it.

[01:22:33] To the point that he's going to take his own life, apparently.

[01:22:35] Yeah.

[01:22:35] I don't, I don't get it.

[01:22:37] I don't either.

[01:22:38] I just, it, I feel like maybe like, okay, there's a lot of dark things that happen in

[01:22:42] this, this book, right?

[01:22:43] Like he gets swallowed by a fish.

[01:22:45] He's running away from something.

[01:22:47] Yeah.

[01:22:47] He's, you know, like there's a lot of things that kind of portray him specifically not being

[01:22:53] in a great mental state.

[01:22:54] Yeah.

[01:22:55] Right.

[01:22:55] Like he's at a dark place.

[01:22:57] Yeah.

[01:22:57] But what the, what God is doing is all good things.

[01:22:59] Apparently.

[01:23:00] Right.

[01:23:00] He's saving him from the fish.

[01:23:02] He's, um, you know, chase, he's chasing after him to bring him back and to personally

[01:23:06] explain to him.

[01:23:08] Like none of the rest of us get a personal explanation, but Jonah, the bad boy did.

[01:23:12] Yeah.

[01:23:12] Honestly, this just feels like a mental health, um, about Jonah's mental health.

[01:23:18] Yeah.

[01:23:19] More than anything else.

[01:23:20] Yeah.

[01:23:21] In my opinion.

[01:23:21] And here's another thing that I find very, um, uncomfortable is that I see what God's

[01:23:27] saying.

[01:23:28] I disagree with him, but I see what he's saying.

[01:23:30] Sure.

[01:23:31] Cause he's like, I didn't have to give you that.

[01:23:33] Just like the CEO.

[01:23:34] I didn't have to give you coffee.

[01:23:35] Right.

[01:23:35] If we're speaking from the point of God is real, right?

[01:23:38] If we're assuming God is real and God did give everything.

[01:23:41] Obviously.

[01:23:41] Then sure.

[01:23:42] I guess that conversation could make some sense.

[01:23:43] Right.

[01:23:44] In a way.

[01:23:45] Again, I disagree with him because we'll, but you're God.

[01:23:48] And more to the point, if he was real, I still think he's a dick.

[01:23:50] Well, yeah.

[01:23:51] So definitely.

[01:23:52] That's there's that.

[01:23:53] Yeah.

[01:23:53] For sure.

[01:23:56] But this was definitely going to need a Q and a slash wrap up.

[01:24:00] I have to tell you when I read that last sentence, I forgot it, that it was the last

[01:24:04] chapter.

[01:24:05] Yeah.

[01:24:05] When I was like, and cannot tell the right hand from their left and also many animals

[01:24:09] the end.

[01:24:10] And like, I was like, ha ha.

[01:24:11] I can't wait to see what happens.

[01:24:13] Nothing fucking happens.

[01:24:14] And I was like, fuck me.

[01:24:17] It is.

[01:24:17] Yeah.

[01:24:18] Like I forgot for a minute because it's just so like middle of the sentence, basically.

[01:24:23] Right.

[01:24:23] But I mean, as far as I know about Nineveh, they seem to, I mean, they're like, oh shit.

[01:24:28] Right.

[01:24:28] We're going to.

[01:24:29] So good for them.

[01:24:30] They seem to know their left hand from the right hand.

[01:24:32] Yeah.

[01:24:32] They're like, I guess, you know what?

[01:24:33] We're going to change our ways.

[01:24:34] And they did.

[01:24:35] Right.

[01:24:36] According to the Bible.

[01:24:37] Yeah.

[01:24:38] So I, this is what I'm not understanding.

[01:24:40] I'm like, what is, what is this chapter even?

[01:24:43] Oh, I have another comment to me.

[01:24:44] Okay.

[01:24:44] I did not know that people not knowing the right hand from their left.

[01:24:48] I didn't know that that phrase came from the Bible, much less Jonah.

[01:24:51] You know, I didn't either, actually.

[01:24:52] Right.

[01:24:53] Yeah.

[01:24:53] Like that's kind of like, oh, huh.

[01:24:55] Okay.

[01:24:56] Yeah.

[01:24:57] All right.

[01:24:57] Well, that's, that's it for Jonah.

[01:25:01] That's Jonah.

[01:25:01] I mean, I told you I had more information, but I didn't realize that it was going to be

[01:25:06] like this.

[01:25:07] Right.

[01:25:08] I didn't either.

[01:25:09] Um, so anyway, yeah, I think, uh, we're going to endeavor to wrap up the rest of the Bible

[01:25:15] over the next, uh, over the weekend.

[01:25:17] The Bible.

[01:25:18] Not, not the Bible.

[01:25:18] I'm sorry.

[01:25:19] The rest of Jonah, the rest of Jonah and the special episodes.

[01:25:21] Yeah.

[01:25:22] We're going to get right through it over the weekend.

[01:25:23] We've got two more episodes, I think, because we're going to do our wrap up Q and A as one

[01:25:27] as one.

[01:25:28] And then we'll have our contradictions and pop quiz.

[01:25:31] Yes.

[01:25:31] You're always wrong.

[01:25:33] Right, right, right.

[01:25:34] And then I'll get the weekly replay out and then we'll be back on Monday starting again

[01:25:38] with, uh, Micah.

[01:25:40] Micah.

[01:25:41] Micah.

[01:25:41] Okay.

[01:25:42] If I'm not mistaken, there's only one chapter.

[01:25:45] Hold on.

[01:25:46] Seriously?

[01:25:46] Yeah.

[01:25:47] Wow.

[01:25:47] These are really short, uh, minor, really short books.

[01:25:50] Oh no, there's two.

[01:25:51] There's two.

[01:25:52] Hold on.

[01:25:52] I think there's four.

[01:25:54] We're counting them down here.

[01:25:55] I know.

[01:25:55] We're going to, we're going to go through them all.

[01:25:56] Oh, there's five.

[01:25:58] Five.

[01:25:58] There's a lot.

[01:25:59] No, there's, there's, there's more than one.

[01:26:01] Yeah.

[01:26:01] There's definitely more than one.

[01:26:02] I messed up.

[01:26:03] To continue to go.

[01:26:04] Okay.

[01:26:08] Micah.

[01:26:09] But there's less than 20.

[01:26:10] There's fewer than 20.

[01:26:11] Okay.

[01:26:11] I know that.

[01:26:12] Sounds good.

[01:26:12] All right.

[01:26:13] Anyway.

[01:26:14] That's it for Jonah, guys.

[01:26:15] That's it for Jonah.

[01:26:16] See ya.

[01:26:17] Oh, wait.

[01:26:18] There was six chapters.

[01:26:19] That's seven.

[01:26:20] That's seven.

[01:26:21] Oh, seven.

[01:26:21] Sorry.

[01:26:22] I'm on.

[01:26:22] I was looking at the back and forth buttons.

[01:26:25] No, there's seven chapters.

[01:26:26] Sorry.

[01:26:26] You're right.

[01:26:27] On Micah.

[01:26:28] Yeah.

[01:26:28] That was it for Jonah.

[01:26:29] Bye, guys.

[01:26:30] Bye.

[01:26:37] Bye.

[01:26:38] Bye.

[01:26:38] Jetzt ist Herbst und bald stehen schon wieder die Feiertage vor der Tür.

[01:26:42] Das kann auch für Hunde ganz schön stressig sein.

[01:26:44] Viele Vierbeine reagieren unter anderem mit einer gestörten Verdauung.

[01:26:48] Und das ist wiederum Stress für ihre Besitzer.

[01:26:51] Aber es gibt schnelle und einfache Hilfe.

[01:26:53] Das Probiotikum Purina Proplan Forti Flora.

[01:26:56] Streu einfach einen Beutel über das tägliche Futter.

[01:26:59] Die außergewöhnliche Zusammensetzung mit lebenden guten Darmbakterien

[01:27:03] stellt das Gleichgewicht im Darm wieder her.

[01:27:05] Natürlich kannst du Proplan Forti Flora auch präventiv

[01:27:08] oder bei alltäglichen Verdauungsbeschwerden einsetzen.

[01:27:11] Es unterstützt auch bei Ernährungsumstellungen oder Antibiotika-Einnahme.

[01:27:16] Purina Proplan Forti Flora.

[01:27:18] Jetzt auf shop.purina.de.

[01:27:27] Wife!

[01:27:28] Do you have any idea what we're doing today?

[01:27:32] Wait, we have a podcast?

[01:27:33] We do.

[01:27:34] We do a thing where we talk to people.

[01:27:36] Mm-hmm.

[01:27:37] Mm-hmm.

[01:27:37] And we were talking about something.

[01:27:39] I don't...

[01:27:39] What were we talking about?

[01:27:40] Jonah!

[01:27:41] Jonah!

[01:27:41] Yeah, yeah.

[01:27:42] It's been a while.

[01:27:43] Sorry.

[01:27:43] Jonah!

[01:27:43] I had to remember because we've been sick for days.

[01:27:47] Like, yeah, I got sick, then you got sick, and...

[01:27:50] And we had different sicknesses.

[01:27:51] We had different sicknesses.

[01:27:52] It was so weird.

[01:27:53] So, like, it was not good.

[01:27:54] Yeah.

[01:27:54] It was just not a good scene.

[01:27:56] Not a good scene.

[01:27:57] It was not a good scene.

[01:27:58] Yeah.

[01:27:58] So, anyway, we're back now, though.

[01:28:00] We're back!

[01:28:01] And we're ready to finish up Jonah, finally.

[01:28:04] Yeah.

[01:28:05] And we got...

[01:28:06] What do we got going on today?

[01:28:07] So, today we are covering the Q&A for chapters 1 through 4, which happens to be the entire

[01:28:13] book of Jonah.

[01:28:14] So, it's also a wrap-up of Jonah.

[01:28:17] Got it.

[01:28:18] Got it.

[01:28:18] So, we're covering it all today.

[01:28:20] Well, almost all, because there's one more episode of Jonah left, which will be contradictions

[01:28:25] and you're always wrong in a pop quiz.

[01:28:29] Right, right.

[01:28:30] I meant we're covering the entire book today.

[01:28:32] Yes.

[01:28:33] With the Q&A and the wrap-up.

[01:28:34] Yes.

[01:28:34] Okay.

[01:28:35] Yes.

[01:28:35] You ready to get into this?

[01:28:36] Sure as fuck am.

[01:28:37] Let's do it.

[01:28:38] Okie dokie.

[01:28:44] All right.

[01:28:45] Are you ready for this wrap-up?

[01:28:46] I am ready for this wrap-up.

[01:28:48] Okay.

[01:28:48] Well, I normally read off of my phone, but this is several pages worth.

[01:28:52] It is, yeah.

[01:28:52] So, I printed it in case my phone dies.

[01:28:55] Well, that was the other delay, right?

[01:28:56] Yeah.

[01:28:56] Like, I kept asking you for, like, three days, like, are you done with this episode yet?

[01:29:00] And you kept saying, what's the problem?

[01:29:01] And I was like, it's a Q&A and a wrap-up.

[01:29:04] Yeah, but there had to be more.

[01:29:05] You've done bigger sections.

[01:29:07] But I told you that there was so much about this guy.

[01:29:10] Yeah, no, that's what I was getting to.

[01:29:12] I was like, there's a lot about Jonah.

[01:29:14] Yeah.

[01:29:14] There's a lot to talk about.

[01:29:15] I mean, so much Jonah.

[01:29:17] Here's the thing.

[01:29:18] It's not, in my opinion, that there's a lot to talk about.

[01:29:21] Like, there's a whole discussion about the fucking plant.

[01:29:25] Right.

[01:29:25] It's not that there's a lot to talk about.

[01:29:27] It's that people decided to talk a lot about it.

[01:29:31] People like Jonah.

[01:29:32] And they had to suss through it.

[01:29:32] Jonah's a popular dude.

[01:29:34] And how.

[01:29:35] Yeah.

[01:29:35] All right.

[01:29:36] So, let's get into this.

[01:29:37] Ready?

[01:29:37] I'm ready.

[01:29:37] Okay, so chapter one.

[01:29:40] No, actually, let's just talk about Jonah for a minute himself.

[01:29:43] Okay.

[01:29:43] Before we get into the chapters.

[01:29:45] Sure.

[01:29:45] Okay.

[01:29:46] So, this is about Jonah's disobedience and its results.

[01:29:51] Yeah.

[01:29:51] Okay.

[01:29:51] Jonah flees from the Lord.

[01:29:53] Sure.

[01:29:53] Right.

[01:29:53] But like I said, let's talk about Jonah for a minute.

[01:29:55] Okay.

[01:29:56] So, Jonah came from a town later known as Galilee.

[01:29:59] And that's as defined in 2 Kings chapter 14, verse 25.

[01:30:04] Okay.

[01:30:05] When they were like, hey, that guy Jonah was a prophet.

[01:30:08] I don't even remember, but they did mention him in 2 Kings.

[01:30:12] Okay.

[01:30:12] Well, I thought that when you read this in the intro to Jonah, I thought you said that it's believed that it might be the same Jonah.

[01:30:21] Well, we are pretty sure it is because they mentioned his father in both places.

[01:30:27] All right.

[01:30:27] Then that's fair.

[01:30:28] That's fair.

[01:30:28] They're like probably the same dude.

[01:30:30] Okay.

[01:30:30] Okay.

[01:30:31] All right.

[01:30:31] And there's a few other things.

[01:30:33] Got it.

[01:30:33] Anyway, he came from a town that was later known as Galilee, as mentioned in 2 Kings.

[01:30:38] Which places Jonah as one of the few prophets to come from the northern kingdom of Israel.

[01:30:44] That is significant and odd.

[01:30:46] It is.

[01:30:47] Yeah.

[01:30:47] And that's worth mentioning.

[01:30:48] Right.

[01:30:49] The kingdom of Israel had split in half, as we know, after King Solomon's reign and wicked kings ruled the northern kingdom until Assyria, which is what this is about.

[01:30:59] Yeah.

[01:31:00] Took the northern kingdom into captivity in 722 BCE.

[01:31:05] Sure.

[01:31:06] Okay.

[01:31:06] And I'm just trying to put this all into context since he was mentioned early on, but we're talking about him later.

[01:31:12] And, you know, just because the chapter comes later doesn't mean that's where he sits in the chronology.

[01:31:17] Right.

[01:31:18] Right.

[01:31:18] Right.

[01:31:18] You know, it's all confusing.

[01:31:20] Yeah.

[01:31:20] So Jonah was from Gath Heifer in the tribe of Zebulon in lower Galilee.

[01:31:25] And that is per Joshua chapter 19 verses 10 through 13.

[01:31:30] Okay.

[01:31:30] And I was like, why do we know that he was in the tribe of Zebulon?

[01:31:35] So I had to go track that down because that was never mentioned in either place.

[01:31:39] Right.

[01:31:39] So I'm like, what do you mean?

[01:31:41] Yeah.

[01:31:41] But Canaan was divided by lot.

[01:31:44] And again, that was in Joshua chapter 19.

[01:31:47] And the territories were allotted to the tribes.

[01:31:50] So verses 10, 11, 12, and 13 of Joshua chapter 19.

[01:31:56] Okay.

[01:31:56] I'm going to read those real quick.

[01:31:57] Okay.

[01:31:57] The third lot came up for Zebulon according to its clans.

[01:32:01] The boundary of their inheritance went as far as Sarid.

[01:32:04] Going west, it ran to Marla, not Mar-a-Lago, touched Debesheth, and extended to the ravine near Jachnin.

[01:32:14] It turned east from Sarid toward the sunrise to the territory of Kislath-Tabor, and went on to Dabareth and ended up to Japhia.

[01:32:24] Then it continued eastward to Gath Heifer.

[01:32:30] Okay.

[01:32:31] And F. Kazin, and it came out at Ramon and turned toward Nia.

[01:32:35] Got it.

[01:32:36] So we just know because of how it was broken up in that chapter that this is where he lived, so he was part of this tribe probably, and yada, yada, yada.

[01:32:42] But I forget sometimes how it all comes together.

[01:32:46] Sure.

[01:32:46] And I can't be the only one, so that's why I wanted to go back and be like, wait, how do we do that?

[01:32:50] You have to live the Bible to know all these fucking ins and outs of everything.

[01:32:54] Right.

[01:32:55] I mean, I'm sure that there are very well-versed people, much better than us, that know the Bible very well and still struggle with all the connections because it's so intricate.

[01:33:06] There's too much information.

[01:33:08] Yeah.

[01:33:08] Honestly.

[01:33:08] I mean, I could imagine filling an entire, like, you know, room with just, like, graphs and charts and, you know, Venn diagrams and whatever.

[01:33:17] And look, you know, look, I know more about Anne Rice's Mayfair witches and vampires.

[01:33:25] Yeah.

[01:33:25] Like the vampire Lestat, you know, all them guys.

[01:33:27] Yeah.

[01:33:28] Then I do about the Bible.

[01:33:29] Yeah.

[01:33:30] Because, and that's a lot of information.

[01:33:33] I don't know if you're aware of the Mayfair witches and the vampire chronicles, but there's a ton of those guys.

[01:33:39] Like, there's a whole history.

[01:33:40] Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about, really.

[01:33:41] Okay.

[01:33:42] Well, I mean, anybody who knows Anne Rice knows what I'm talking about.

[01:33:46] Yeah.

[01:33:47] Her characters have.

[01:33:47] She did an interview with a vampire, right?

[01:33:49] Yeah.

[01:33:49] Yeah.

[01:33:50] That's, like, the extent of my knowledge.

[01:33:52] Yeah.

[01:33:52] Well, there's, like, history of each character and, like, how each one comes to the next one.

[01:33:58] Got it.

[01:33:59] And it's just a lot.

[01:34:00] And so if you want to understand that and how intricate that is, then you get why I'm, like, what the fuck with all this Bible-y stuff.

[01:34:09] Right, right.

[01:34:09] Okay?

[01:34:10] So Joshua prophesied during the reigns of Jeroboam II and Joash, kings of Israel, which places him roughly in the 782 to 753 BCE timeline.

[01:34:23] Okay.

[01:34:24] Okay?

[01:34:24] Right.

[01:34:24] If we analyze historical events, we can see he dies shortly before the Assyrians take over the northern kingdom of Israel, especially with Tiglath-Pilesar establishing Assyrian dominance in about 745 to 727 BCE.

[01:34:41] Yeah.

[01:34:41] Shortly after Jonah's death.

[01:34:43] Did you look up, just out of curiosity, did the Assyrians take over his hometown?

[01:34:49] Or, no, did they take over Nineveh?

[01:34:51] I don't know.

[01:34:53] Because that would matter, wouldn't it, right?

[01:34:54] Like, he was, he just saved them.

[01:34:56] They all just repented.

[01:34:57] Oh, I did.

[01:34:58] I did.

[01:34:59] They did turn away.

[01:35:03] They did?

[01:35:04] They did.

[01:35:04] They repented briefly and then they turned away.

[01:35:06] Okay.

[01:35:07] Later on.

[01:35:07] Yes.

[01:35:08] And I believe we've already actually read some of that.

[01:35:11] Okay.

[01:35:12] All right.

[01:35:12] So, yeah.

[01:35:13] I did.

[01:35:14] I did come across that.

[01:35:16] He thus was one of the first writing prophets after Joel and next to Hosea and Amos.

[01:35:23] Okay.

[01:35:24] He would have been a contemporary of Amos, though.

[01:35:27] So, unlike Amos, though, and many other prophets who spoke to the Israelite people, God had a different audience in mind, which is very interesting.

[01:35:38] Okay.

[01:35:40] What am I saying?

[01:35:41] Oh.

[01:35:41] It was the very same kingdom who would ransack the northern kingdom of Israel, Jonah's home, decades later, the Assyrians.

[01:35:50] Got it.

[01:35:50] So, that's what I was getting to.

[01:35:52] Okay.

[01:35:52] Okay.

[01:35:53] Yeah.

[01:35:53] Yeah.

[01:35:54] So, this story is for them and about them, even though later on they turn away from God.

[01:36:03] Yeah.

[01:36:04] But it's also weird because they're not God's people, but God reached out to them via Jonah and was like, you can be my people, too, if you want.

[01:36:16] Repent.

[01:36:16] And then for a minute, they did.

[01:36:18] Got it.

[01:36:19] Okay.

[01:36:19] So, that's what makes this book so fucking weird.

[01:36:22] Huh.

[01:36:23] Assyria was the mightiest empire of the east at the time of Jonah.

[01:36:27] The capital of Assyria was the old Nineveh, which had already been rebuilt, I'm sorry, been built by Nimrod together with Rehoboath, Resim, and Kala.

[01:36:38] So, wait.

[01:36:39] Let me get this straight.

[01:36:41] He was preaching in Assyrian territory.

[01:36:43] Yes.

[01:36:44] And that's why he did not want to go.

[01:36:47] He was like, fuck that.

[01:36:48] That's fucking weird.

[01:36:49] Yeah.

[01:36:49] God was sending him into enemy territory.

[01:36:52] Okay.

[01:36:53] And he was like, no thanks.

[01:36:54] And they just laid over and said, yeah, God's.

[01:36:56] For five minutes, they all 100%, one, two, three, go.

[01:37:01] We're like, yeah, that tracks.

[01:37:03] Let's all put on sackcloth.

[01:37:04] Okay.

[01:37:05] Yeah.

[01:37:05] That's the whole point of this book that we missed because we didn't understand what was happening.

[01:37:11] Right.

[01:37:11] Yeah.

[01:37:12] No, I, yeah.

[01:37:13] Right.

[01:37:13] That's really interesting.

[01:37:15] Yeah.

[01:37:15] Yeah.

[01:37:15] And that's part of why I was like taking a while because I was like, wait, what?

[01:37:20] Yeah.

[01:37:21] He was going into enemy territory.

[01:37:23] Okay.

[01:37:23] And he was like, fuck that.

[01:37:25] No thanks.

[01:37:26] Right.

[01:37:26] Right.

[01:37:27] So God commanded Jonah to go and warn the sinful people of Nineveh, the capital of the Syrian Empire,

[01:37:34] and one of the most ancient cities of the world per Genesis chapter 10, verses 8 through 12.

[01:37:41] I'm going to read that real quick.

[01:37:42] Descendants of the sons of Noah.

[01:37:44] Cush was the father of Nimrod who became a mighty warrior on the earth.

[01:37:48] He was a mighty hunter before the Lord.

[01:37:50] That is why it is said, like Nimrod, a mighty hunter before the Lord.

[01:37:54] The first centers of his kingdom were Babylon, Uruk, Akkad, and Kalna in Shinar.

[01:38:00] From that land, he went to Assyria where he built Nineveh, Rehoboth, Ir, and Kalna, and Rezin,

[01:38:08] which is between Nineveh and Kalna, which is the great city.

[01:38:12] So that kind of puts a little bit more in context, right?

[01:38:16] Yeah.

[01:38:17] Like makes it a little bit make sense.

[01:38:19] Sure.

[01:38:20] Okay.

[01:38:20] So in contrast to all the other prophets of the Old Testament.

[01:38:25] Yeah.

[01:38:25] His ministry was directed to the heathen inhabitants of Nineveh and not to the people of Israel.

[01:38:31] So not to God's chosen people.

[01:38:33] Right, right.

[01:38:34] This just feels like it's the whole fucking thing is a fever dream.

[01:38:38] Mm-hmm.

[01:38:38] Right?

[01:38:39] Like this obviously didn't fucking happen.

[01:38:42] Clearly.

[01:38:42] There's anything in here.

[01:38:43] Right.

[01:38:43] Nothing in this book.

[01:38:44] We could have taken that maybe Jonah was a prophet.

[01:38:47] We could have, right?

[01:38:48] And that maybe he was sent over there, but like, no, the whole knowing that everything

[01:38:53] else were like, oh, no, no, that didn't happen.

[01:38:56] No, this was all just fabricated bullshit.

[01:38:59] Yeah, definitely.

[01:39:00] I mean, it doesn't make any sense in context, you know?

[01:39:04] Right, yeah.

[01:39:04] Like once you understand, like first it's confusing because what the fuck is happening?

[01:39:09] Then you put it in context and you're still like, oh, I understand what's happening, but

[01:39:14] what the fuck?

[01:39:15] Nuh-uh.

[01:39:16] Right.

[01:39:16] I mean, it just gets taken too far, right?

[01:39:19] Right.

[01:39:19] Like the fish.

[01:39:21] Yeah.

[01:39:21] The coming back out of the fish.

[01:39:22] Mm-hmm.

[01:39:22] They're going to the enemy and preaching and then winning that preaching battle.

[01:39:27] Yeah.

[01:39:27] Like nothing about this is correct or believable.

[01:39:33] Yeah.

[01:39:33] Even a little bit.

[01:39:35] Yeah, it's all wrong.

[01:39:36] Yeah.

[01:39:37] The only prophetic message that Jonah announced was the one about the coming judgment over

[01:39:42] Nineveh.

[01:39:43] Jonah is therefore the only prophet in the Old Testament revealing the grace of God towards

[01:39:49] the heathen.

[01:39:50] Right.

[01:39:50] And it strikes me also that there's more grace of God towards the enemy in the entire Old

[01:39:56] Testament thus far than to any of his own people.

[01:40:00] Yeah, definitely.

[01:40:01] Like this is crazy, right?

[01:40:02] Like of all the people, according to this story.

[01:40:05] Yeah.

[01:40:06] God has shown more grace and forgiveness to this group because they chose to wear sackcloths

[01:40:12] and repent, right?

[01:40:13] Yeah.

[01:40:13] Than he did to any of his fucking people.

[01:40:15] Exactly.

[01:40:16] Yeah.

[01:40:17] And in fact, he sent those same people that had repented to him to conquer his people.

[01:40:21] Yeah.

[01:40:22] Yeah.

[01:40:23] Which maybe this is a justification.

[01:40:25] Like maybe they use this as a justification as to why the Assyrians were allowed to conquer

[01:40:30] part of his land.

[01:40:31] Probably since it was like tacked on at the end, right?

[01:40:33] No, it feels a little bit like that.

[01:40:35] Like, hey, why were the Assyrians allowed to conquer?

[01:40:38] Yeah.

[01:40:39] You know?

[01:40:39] Oh, because they had repented for five minutes.

[01:40:42] Okay.

[01:40:43] Well, that makes sense.

[01:40:44] And there was this big fish.

[01:40:45] Yeah.

[01:40:45] Yeah.

[01:40:46] Just read about it.

[01:40:47] It's in there.

[01:40:47] So Jonah was to warn the Assyrians of God's coming judgment.

[01:40:52] Jonah not only refused, but fled in the opposite direction.

[01:40:56] Why did he flee?

[01:40:58] For one thing, Jonah had every reason to expect that at the very best, best case scenario,

[01:41:04] he would be mocked and treated as a fool.

[01:41:07] But worse, he might be attacked and killed if he did what the Lord told him to do.

[01:41:12] Well, yeah.

[01:41:12] You're going into enemy territory.

[01:41:13] In mind that the Assyrians did exercise rather violent practices.

[01:41:20] Sure.

[01:41:20] Such as flaying their victims alive and leaving them in the sun to die in the heat.

[01:41:26] Jesus.

[01:41:26] And putting hooks in the noses of their prisoners.

[01:41:29] Yeah.

[01:41:29] I wouldn't want to go there either.

[01:41:30] Yeah.

[01:41:31] So I have a lot more sympathy for Jonah going hell to the nose.

[01:41:35] And we know that at this specific time in history, because we just talked about it in the intro

[01:41:40] here, that the Assyrians were getting ready to conquer the northern tribes of Israel at

[01:41:45] that point in time.

[01:41:46] Right?

[01:41:47] Yep.

[01:41:47] So this guy, like part of that, the story makes a little bit more sense where he's sitting

[01:41:51] out there pissed off.

[01:41:52] Right?

[01:41:52] Yes.

[01:41:53] Because he's like, God damn it.

[01:41:54] These people just listened and capitulated to God.

[01:41:57] And now they're going to come conquer my people.

[01:41:59] Yeah.

[01:41:59] Like this is, what the fuck, man?

[01:42:00] This is bullshit.

[01:42:01] Yeah.

[01:42:02] Right.

[01:42:02] Like I would almost call that a, he's angry at God section.

[01:42:05] It was.

[01:42:06] Right?

[01:42:06] Yeah.

[01:42:06] Which is completely different than how I took it because I didn't quite understand.

[01:42:11] Yeah.

[01:42:11] Same.

[01:42:12] Exactly what was going on.

[01:42:13] It changes the context of everything knowing the ins and outs.

[01:42:17] Yeah.

[01:42:17] Yeah.

[01:42:17] So he may have considered that God was geographically tied to Judea is another reason.

[01:42:24] So he thought that if he got out of the land of Judea, the Lord would most probably

[01:42:29] appoint some other prophet to carry the message.

[01:42:31] So he's like, if I just leave, he'll assign it to somebody else because I'm out of his

[01:42:35] realm of control.

[01:42:36] Yeah.

[01:42:37] That makes sense, actually.

[01:42:38] Yeah.

[01:42:38] Like, I mean, there's, gods were very regional.

[01:42:42] Yes.

[01:42:42] Especially earlier on.

[01:42:43] So, I mean, that's solid logic in my life.

[01:42:45] Right.

[01:42:45] Yeah.

[01:42:45] Right?

[01:42:45] Yeah.

[01:42:46] Okay.

[01:42:46] Another thing is Jonah didn't want the Assyrians in Nineveh to escape God's judgment.

[01:42:52] Imagine, okay, and I really appreciated this analogy.

[01:42:56] Yeah.

[01:42:57] Okay.

[01:42:57] Imagine a Jewish man in New York during World War II hearing God say, I'm going to bring

[01:43:04] terrible judgment on Germany.

[01:43:05] I want you to go to Berlin and tell Nazi Germany to repent.

[01:43:09] Right.

[01:43:10] Instead of doing it, the man heads for San Francisco and then gets on a boat for Hong Kong, heading

[01:43:14] as far the opposite direction as possible.

[01:43:16] Yeah.

[01:43:17] Like, as you would.

[01:43:19] Yeah.

[01:43:19] Exactly.

[01:43:20] He's like, hell to the no, I'm not going over there.

[01:43:21] Right?

[01:43:22] Yeah.

[01:43:22] Yeah.

[01:43:22] I really appreciated, like, I wouldn't call it like a modern day because it's not today.

[01:43:27] But it's related.

[01:43:28] But yeah, we understand why a Jewish person in New York would not want to go to Nazi Germany

[01:43:36] during World War II.

[01:43:37] Right.

[01:43:38] Or right on the eve of.

[01:43:39] Honestly, if, you know, we speak about God in canon a lot, right?

[01:43:43] Mm-hmm.

[01:43:44] If God in canon were real, this is an asshole fucking move.

[01:43:49] Yeah.

[01:43:50] You're asking this guy to go grant them forgiveness and then God is going to grant them the ability

[01:43:57] to conquer his own people.

[01:43:59] Yeah.

[01:44:00] That's fucked up.

[01:44:02] But have faith in me, though.

[01:44:03] But why?

[01:44:04] Why?

[01:44:05] Like, that's why he's.

[01:44:06] Yeah.

[01:44:06] I can under.

[01:44:07] I empathize with why he's so fucking depressed at the end.

[01:44:10] Yeah.

[01:44:11] Yeah.

[01:44:11] Like, fuck you.

[01:44:12] Like, fuck you guys.

[01:44:13] He's honestly like, what the hell did I just do?

[01:44:15] What did you just have me do?

[01:44:17] Right.

[01:44:17] I don't understand.

[01:44:18] That's a fucked up situation.

[01:44:21] Right?

[01:44:21] And the ending does not leave you feeling better, you know?

[01:44:25] Right.

[01:44:26] And all I ever knew about the story was he got swallowed by a fucking fish.

[01:44:29] Exactly.

[01:44:30] Right?

[01:44:30] Like, that's the whole extent of it.

[01:44:32] Right.

[01:44:32] You know, probably prayed to God and God, you know, got him out of the fucking fish.

[01:44:35] Right.

[01:44:36] That's all I knew about this.

[01:44:38] So, like, this is actually pretty crazy.

[01:44:41] I wish I had known more as we were reading through because, like, I really didn't understand

[01:44:45] this.

[01:44:46] Right.

[01:44:46] Same.

[01:44:46] So, I'm really appreciating this because I did not know.

[01:44:50] Right.

[01:44:51] Like, Q&A answered, you know?

[01:44:53] Right.

[01:44:53] Yeah.

[01:44:54] Like, questions answered.

[01:44:55] Yeah.

[01:44:55] Yeah.

[01:44:55] So, Jonah boarded a ship and headed for the distant Mediterranean port of Tarshish, a city

[01:45:01] thought to be toward the end of the earth, somewhere in the region of Spain.

[01:45:05] He was like, I'm out.

[01:45:07] Bye.

[01:45:08] But God determined to bring Jonah back.

[01:45:10] His first action was to send a fierce storm that threatened to sink the ship.

[01:45:14] Yeah.

[01:45:14] The seamen, who were not Hebrews, prayed to their gods to save them and tried to persuade

[01:45:21] Jonah to pray to his.

[01:45:23] Sure.

[01:45:23] As they did.

[01:45:24] As people with gods do, I guess.

[01:45:26] Yeah.

[01:45:26] On seeing that their prayers brought no results, the seamen concluded that the storm must have

[01:45:32] been a supernatural punishment upon someone on the ship.

[01:45:35] When they drew lots to identify the guilty person, the lot indicated Jonah.

[01:45:40] So, they can't agree on gods, but they can agree that lots solved the problem.

[01:45:43] I mean, it's like right before your eyes, this happened.

[01:45:48] Right.

[01:45:49] There's no argument.

[01:45:50] They drew lots to figure out who caused it.

[01:45:52] Yeah.

[01:45:52] It's fucking random.

[01:45:54] That's random.

[01:45:55] Right.

[01:45:55] But it's something that they can all see with their own eyes and agree on.

[01:45:59] Sometimes just the logic of humanity just worries me.

[01:46:02] Oh, no.

[01:46:03] Same.

[01:46:03] Same.

[01:46:04] I'm not saying that, like, I understand them.

[01:46:07] I'm saying I understand how they reached their really, really imbecilic kindergarten conclusion.

[01:46:12] Right.

[01:46:12] But, like, my first thought, right, is you've got a bunch of different people with different

[01:46:15] gods all on one ship.

[01:46:17] Right?

[01:46:17] Yeah.

[01:46:17] And you're drawing lots to figure out who's the guilty party here.

[01:46:22] And if you believe in all these gods individually, right, you believe that your god has more power

[01:46:28] than other gods, right?

[01:46:29] Mm-hmm.

[01:46:29] So, how do you trust the outcome of any fucking lot drawing when there's all these gods that

[01:46:34] could influence the fucking drawing?

[01:46:35] Because all the strongest god, either all the gods got together and that's what happened,

[01:46:42] or the strongest god, which would therefore make him the truest god, made that happen.

[01:46:47] Okay.

[01:46:48] The answer is trustworthy because it's either the agreement of the gods or the truest and

[01:46:53] the strongest god.

[01:46:53] They agreed that everybody had different gods, but they all also agreed that the gods or god

[01:46:58] that was whatever in charge or doing something would ultimately influence the lot drawing.

[01:47:04] Yes.

[01:47:05] Okay.

[01:47:06] All right.

[01:47:06] And they didn't say, each of them, that mine is the only god that exists.

[01:47:13] They all agreed that other gods exist.

[01:47:16] I have a question, though.

[01:47:18] Yeah?

[01:47:19] If that's the case, why does religion frown so much on gambling?

[01:47:24] That I couldn't tell you.

[01:47:25] I'm saying if gods or god or a god or the god influence lot drawing, right, then it would stand

[01:47:33] to reason that whoever wins at gambling is righteous.

[01:47:38] Yeah.

[01:47:39] Right?

[01:47:39] I mean, you know what I mean?

[01:47:40] Why?

[01:47:41] I was just drawing lots on the fucking roulette wheel.

[01:47:43] Yeah, exactly.

[01:47:44] I don't know.

[01:47:45] Played the cards.

[01:47:46] Played the bones.

[01:47:46] It just occurred to me as I was saying, you know.

[01:47:48] I mean, here's another thing.

[01:47:50] I think I've heard it said, and I could be talking out of my ass, that because at that point

[01:47:55] you're not drawing lots to see who is the guilty person that is causing death.

[01:48:02] You're testing a god for a chance game, a game of chance.

[01:48:06] You're using god wrong.

[01:48:08] Yeah.

[01:48:09] You're basically taking his name in vain.

[01:48:11] Okay.

[01:48:12] And that makes sense.

[01:48:13] You're testing him and you're challenging him to give you things that you haven't earned.

[01:48:19] Okay.

[01:48:20] But my question to that would be, but then why is, say, football, for example, okay?

[01:48:28] Why?

[01:48:28] Because, man, Christians love to pray for their team.

[01:48:31] Right.

[01:48:32] Yeah.

[01:48:32] You know, pray for, and you know, every time somebody makes a fucking touchdown, that guy

[01:48:37] does the hit his chest, kiss his fingers, and point up.

[01:48:40] The difference is that's a skill game, right?

[01:48:42] Like, the team with the better skill wins, right?

[01:48:46] Hypothetically.

[01:48:47] So what they're praying for is that their team shows the better skill.

[01:48:51] Like, give my teammates the strength to prevail in this test of skill.

[01:48:58] I honestly think that you are granting the hillbillies that pray for their team to win

[01:49:03] way too much credit because they are not praying.

[01:49:06] Oh, no, I know.

[01:49:07] For more skill in a healthy, good, solid game.

[01:49:11] They're praying that the DraftKings fucking no bet comes to you.

[01:49:14] They are gambling.

[01:49:15] Yeah.

[01:49:15] They are gambling and hoping that they get the money.

[01:49:18] Right.

[01:49:18] Yeah.

[01:49:19] Stupid.

[01:49:19] Yeah.

[01:49:20] All right.

[01:49:20] So 2 Kings chapter 25 says that Jonah was a recognized prophet, which we already talked

[01:49:26] about, right?

[01:49:27] When he was asked, what is your occupation?

[01:49:29] And Jonah answered, I am a prophet.

[01:49:31] Then the sailors must have been even more terrified.

[01:49:34] Now let's read 2 Kings chapter 25 verses 23, 24, and 25.

[01:49:41] Okay.

[01:49:42] In the 15th year of Amaziah, son of Joash, king of Judah, Jeroboam, son of Joash, king

[01:49:48] of Israel, became king in Samaria and he reigned 41 years.

[01:49:53] He did evil in the eyes of the Lord and did not turn away from any of the sins of Jeroboam,

[01:49:58] son of Nebat, which he had caused Israel to commit.

[01:50:01] He was the one who restored the boundaries of Israel from Lebo Hamath to the Dead Sea

[01:50:07] in accordance with the word of the Lord, the God of Israel, spoken through his servant,

[01:50:12] Jonah, son of Amittai, the prophet from Gath Hefer.

[01:50:16] Okay.

[01:50:17] So they were like, oh, you're a prophet?

[01:50:21] Fuck me.

[01:50:22] Yeah.

[01:50:22] Like, okay, so you're for realsies.

[01:50:25] Okay.

[01:50:25] So we got to figure out how to get this shit to stop.

[01:50:28] Yeah.

[01:50:29] Yeah.

[01:50:29] Because we're going to die because you're a prophet.

[01:50:31] Keep in mind that he initially offered to throw himself over.

[01:50:34] He did.

[01:50:34] And they were like, well, we can't just be murdery.

[01:50:37] Right.

[01:50:37] Especially not to a prophet of that Lord.

[01:50:41] So I'm going to give them some credit because they tried, you know?

[01:50:43] Yeah.

[01:50:43] They're like, how good.

[01:50:45] But not as altruistically as it would have seemed at first.

[01:50:49] Okay.

[01:50:49] They weren't like, oh, no, we can't murder you, good, kind sir.

[01:50:52] They were like, oh, shit.

[01:50:54] No, but we can't murder a prophet.

[01:50:56] Right.

[01:50:56] They had to find out what God really, that God apparently really wanted.

[01:51:00] Right.

[01:51:01] So they're trying to bring him back.

[01:51:03] Yeah.

[01:51:03] And then they're like, this isn't working.

[01:51:05] So, yeah, you're going overboard, bud.

[01:51:07] Well, he allowed them, though.

[01:51:09] Yeah.

[01:51:09] No, I'm not.

[01:51:10] They weren't on board with it, so to speak.

[01:51:13] They weren't, like, excited to throw him overboard.

[01:51:15] And that's why they repented afterwards and were like, please don't kill us for throwing

[01:51:20] your prophet overboard.

[01:51:21] Sure.

[01:51:21] We believe in you.

[01:51:23] Right.

[01:51:23] God got a lot of people to believe in him in this book.

[01:51:26] He did.

[01:51:26] He did.

[01:51:27] He did.

[01:51:27] It's kind of crazy.

[01:51:27] Because then the storm immediately stopped.

[01:51:29] Right.

[01:51:30] And they all became believers.

[01:51:32] Yeah.

[01:51:33] And sacrificed to him.

[01:51:34] I think maybe that's part of what probably people latch onto in this book is that it's

[01:51:37] such a, like, there's so much, this prophet, Jonah, right?

[01:51:42] Without.

[01:51:42] He apparently has just, like, this uncanny ability to make people believe in God.

[01:51:47] You know what it reminds me of, though?

[01:51:48] It's like Inspector Gadget, right?

[01:51:51] Like, Inspector Gadget does not solve a single crime.

[01:51:54] He just walks around causing mayhem.

[01:51:57] Right.

[01:51:57] And in his wake, after he leaves the room, shit happens.

[01:52:03] Right.

[01:52:03] You know what I mean?

[01:52:04] Yeah.

[01:52:04] Like, Penny and the dog, they are the ones.

[01:52:07] He's accidentally genius.

[01:52:08] Yeah.

[01:52:09] Right.

[01:52:09] Exactly.

[01:52:09] But not.

[01:52:10] Right.

[01:52:10] Yeah.

[01:52:11] It's all shit that happens in his wake, but not because of any of his intentional actions.

[01:52:18] And that's the difference.

[01:52:20] So Jonah tells him about who he is and what he has done.

[01:52:23] He confesses a sin, acknowledging that this was God's judgment upon him.

[01:52:27] Jonah suggesting that the only way the semen was.

[01:52:31] You're going to do it the whole way.

[01:52:32] Okay.

[01:52:33] Totally.

[01:52:33] I'm a child.

[01:52:34] I've been called such and I live up to that.

[01:52:37] Right.

[01:52:38] Yeah.

[01:52:38] You can't let the people down.

[01:52:39] No.

[01:52:40] Yeah.

[01:52:40] No.

[01:52:41] And plus, it's fucking funny.

[01:52:42] And who wants to be a grown up and not laugh?

[01:52:45] I want to be a child and laugh.

[01:52:47] And semen is funny.

[01:52:49] Right.

[01:52:49] Okay.

[01:52:50] Okay.

[01:52:50] So Jonah suggesting that the only way the semen would save their lives would be to throw him

[01:52:57] overboard, asked to be thrown into the sea.

[01:53:00] Right.

[01:53:00] Although they were pagans, the semen pitied Jonah and respected Jonah's God, which was

[01:53:07] in sharp contrast to Jonah's lack of pity for the pagan Ninevites and lack of respect for

[01:53:14] God.

[01:53:15] Right?

[01:53:17] Huh.

[01:53:17] Yeah.

[01:53:18] So in this case, they were scared of and trusting of his God better than he was.

[01:53:26] And better than the pity that he had for the Ninevites.

[01:53:30] I'm giving this story more credit as we go through this description.

[01:53:33] Yeah.

[01:53:34] Than I initially did.

[01:53:35] It's interesting, right?

[01:53:36] Because it is actually, as far as the-

[01:53:39] Symbolism.

[01:53:40] Yeah.

[01:53:40] And like, it's a good literary tale.

[01:53:43] Right.

[01:53:43] It's not bad.

[01:53:44] Yeah.

[01:53:44] It's not bad.

[01:53:45] Yeah.

[01:53:45] It's a pretty good story.

[01:53:46] Once you know the ins and outs.

[01:53:47] Sure.

[01:53:48] And you obviously have to take this in and understand that this is not a true accounting of events.

[01:53:55] Oh, absolutely.

[01:53:56] Like, there's no fucking way.

[01:53:58] No, but for readability and literary standing, it's solid.

[01:54:03] Right.

[01:54:03] It's a solid story.

[01:54:04] Yeah.

[01:54:04] I give it an A, you know?

[01:54:05] Right.

[01:54:06] Yeah.

[01:54:06] Which-

[01:54:06] Especially for the times.

[01:54:08] Yeah.

[01:54:08] And most of them, I would not even give an F.

[01:54:11] Like, whatever.

[01:54:12] Like, negative F.

[01:54:13] Yeah, right.

[01:54:14] Right.

[01:54:15] Only when they were convinced that nothing else would save them did they reluctantly agree

[01:54:19] to throw Jonah overboard.

[01:54:22] Jonah apparently lost consciousness and was drowning when God saved his life by sending

[01:54:27] a great fish to swallow him.

[01:54:29] Oh, so the swallowing of Jonah was to save him.

[01:54:32] So, okay.

[01:54:33] Yeah.

[01:54:33] Yeah.

[01:54:33] Yeah.

[01:54:34] Now, the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the

[01:54:39] fish three days and three nights.

[01:54:41] Okay.

[01:54:41] And that's verse 17.

[01:54:44] Sure.

[01:54:44] Of chapter one we're still in.

[01:54:46] Okay.

[01:54:47] Yeah.

[01:54:47] Now, one commentary offered the following insight.

[01:54:51] This could not have been a whale, for the throat of that animal can scarcely admit a man's

[01:54:56] leg, but it might have been a shark, which abounds in the Mediterranean and whose mouth

[01:55:01] and stomach are exceedingly capacious.

[01:55:04] In several cases, they have been known to swallow a man when thrown overboard.

[01:55:09] Prom, prom, prom.

[01:55:09] I mean, there's a legend where Jonah threatens Leviathan from the fish.

[01:55:17] Yeah.

[01:55:17] So, we're talking about Leviathan.

[01:55:19] Yeah.

[01:55:20] It doesn't...

[01:55:21] Does it really fucking matter what kind of fish this is?

[01:55:24] Like, you've lost the thread when you start worrying about what kind of creature...

[01:55:29] It's funny to me that people that, like, you know, we're sitting here and we're like,

[01:55:33] this obviously is just a metaphor for the thing that's going on, right?

[01:55:36] Yeah.

[01:55:37] And...

[01:55:38] But people try to attribute real things to this.

[01:55:40] They want it to be real so bad.

[01:55:42] They're like, can't you just acknowledge that this is just a fairy tale?

[01:55:46] And you know what?

[01:55:46] It's a good end.

[01:55:47] It's one of the better stories in this book.

[01:55:49] And it might even have a point with regard to your religion and how it interacts with

[01:55:52] things.

[01:55:53] But you should obviously admit that this is a fucking fairy tale.

[01:55:56] So obviously.

[01:55:58] Yeah.

[01:55:58] So the verse and commentary raise interesting points about the anatomical differences between

[01:56:04] whales and sharks, as well as the plausibility of a human being swallowed and surviving.

[01:56:11] What it must be to be a biblical scientist.

[01:56:14] Right?

[01:56:15] Yeah.

[01:56:15] Yeah.

[01:56:16] So, okay.

[01:56:17] Let's talk about these animals real quick, though.

[01:56:19] Okay?

[01:56:19] Okay.

[01:56:19] We're going to play along.

[01:56:20] I guess.

[01:56:21] So baleen whales, which are the blue whale, the humpback whale, among others, they're teethless.

[01:56:28] Sure.

[01:56:28] Yeah.

[01:56:29] They feed on small prey like krill and plankton by filtering water through their baleen plates.

[01:56:37] Their throats are remarkably small relative to their size.

[01:56:41] For instance, a blue whale's throat opening is only about the size of a grapefruit.

[01:56:47] Grapefruit.

[01:56:48] Yeah.

[01:56:48] That's tiny.

[01:56:49] It is.

[01:56:49] Right?

[01:56:49] Making it physically impossible for them to swallow a human.

[01:56:53] Because all they really want to put down their throat is krill.

[01:56:55] Yeah.

[01:56:56] Yeah.

[01:56:56] Conversely, the sperm whale, which has teeth, so it's not a baleen.

[01:57:01] Right.

[01:57:01] It's got teeth.

[01:57:02] Yeah.

[01:57:02] Also has a larger throat, capable of swallowing larger prey like giant squid.

[01:57:08] A sperm whale's throat could theoretically accommodate a human, though this would be highly unusual

[01:57:14] since their feeding habits do not involve consuming large intact animals like humans.

[01:57:20] They do not typically consume non-squid prey.

[01:57:23] But God typically doesn't direct a fish to go eat a human.

[01:57:27] Exactly.

[01:57:27] So I'm just saying.

[01:57:28] If we're talking about typical things here, right?

[01:57:30] And this creature was prepared by God, specifically those words.

[01:57:35] Yeah.

[01:57:36] We do not use the word typical.

[01:57:37] Right.

[01:57:37] When discussing the truthisms of Jonah.

[01:57:41] Yeah.

[01:57:41] Exactly.

[01:57:41] Because that is just counterintuitive to the whole concept of what we're even discussing.

[01:57:46] I know.

[01:57:47] It just takes you right out, doesn't it?

[01:57:48] Right.

[01:57:48] Right.

[01:57:49] Sharks, particularly large species like the great white or tiger shark, have much larger

[01:57:56] throats than baleen whales, the teethless guys that only have grapefruit-sized throats.

[01:58:01] Sure.

[01:58:01] Yeah.

[01:58:01] Some shark species have been known to swallow prey whole, including seals, large fish, and

[01:58:08] on rare occasion, parts of human bodies.

[01:58:12] Sharks also have stomachs capable of expanding significantly to accommodate large meals.

[01:58:17] Kind of like a snake.

[01:58:18] As you would need if you swallowed a fucking seal hole.

[01:58:20] Yeah.

[01:58:20] Jesus Christ.

[01:58:21] Like a snake.

[01:58:22] Right, yeah.

[01:58:23] You know?

[01:58:23] Like, we watch our little snake.

[01:58:25] We have a tiny corn snake, and it swallows little tiny mice.

[01:58:30] Right.

[01:58:30] And you can see the stomach expand.

[01:58:33] It's so nasty.

[01:58:34] Yeah.

[01:58:34] It's gross.

[01:58:36] Sharks are more likely to consume large prey whole, especially in the case of an attack.

[01:58:41] Instances of sharks swallowing large animals or parts of humans have been documented.

[01:58:46] The likelihood of surviving such an encounter depends on multiple factors.

[01:58:52] Okay?

[01:58:52] Does it really?

[01:58:53] Yeah.

[01:58:53] Multiple factors.

[01:58:54] Okay.

[01:58:54] Multiple factors.

[01:58:55] Yeah.

[01:58:55] All right.

[01:58:56] One.

[01:58:56] Maybe he needed Pepto-Bismol that day.

[01:58:58] Yeah.

[01:58:58] I don't know why.

[01:59:00] Yeah.

[01:59:01] One.

[01:59:01] Both sharks and whales have muscular esophagi and stomachs that would likely crush or suffocate

[01:59:08] a human.

[01:59:09] Sure.

[01:59:09] Two.

[01:59:10] But if swallowed, the human would be exposed to highly acidic gastric juices.

[01:59:16] Right.

[01:59:17] Leading to rapid tissue degradation.

[01:59:20] Three.

[01:59:20] A lack of oxygen would result in death within minutes if the victim were swallowed whole.

[01:59:26] Yeah.

[01:59:26] So there's that.

[01:59:28] Basically, you cannot survive that.

[01:59:30] Right.

[01:59:30] It's not possible.

[01:59:32] I hear you.

[01:59:33] Okay.

[01:59:33] There are unverified stories of people surviving after being swallowed by large marine animals,

[01:59:39] but these all lack scientific backing.

[01:59:42] Okay?

[01:59:43] Uh-huh.

[01:59:43] While the possibility of being swallowed by a sperm whale or large shark exists, surviving

[01:59:49] such an event is extraordinarily unlikely.

[01:59:52] And there you have it.

[01:59:53] God made it possible.

[01:59:55] It's an extraordinary event.

[01:59:57] God.

[01:59:57] Right.

[01:59:58] Right.

[01:59:58] Right.

[02:00:03] And physiological constraints.

[02:00:05] Let's just call it nearly impossible.

[02:00:08] Right.

[02:00:08] Instead of extraordinarily unlikely, because extraordinarily unlikely, in my opinion, offers

[02:00:12] too much leeway.

[02:00:14] Like, I want to go with, like, basically impossible, but okay, one in a billion.

[02:00:19] But even one in a billion is like, boom, God did one in a billion.

[02:00:23] But the one in a billion still would need to be verified.

[02:00:26] Like, I still need more than just, like, it's written in the Bible, especially given what

[02:00:31] we've read from the fucking Bible.

[02:00:33] Yeah.

[02:00:34] Yeah.

[02:00:34] Like, not a good source.

[02:00:35] Not a good source.

[02:00:36] No.

[02:00:37] The biblical story of Jonah is therefore understood by many as a miraculous account, not necessarily

[02:00:43] one bound by natural law.

[02:00:45] Fairytale.

[02:00:46] Right.

[02:00:46] Just like I was saying.

[02:00:47] Right.

[02:00:48] Or a miracle.

[02:00:49] A miraculous account is what it says.

[02:00:51] It's a fucking fairytale.

[02:00:52] It was either a miracle or a fairytale.

[02:00:53] Yeah.

[02:00:54] Got it.

[02:00:55] The fish episode and other elements might have been literary devices.

[02:01:00] Fairytale.

[02:01:01] Might have been, huh?

[02:01:03] I do say.

[02:01:04] Used to communicate a larger spiritual message.

[02:01:08] Huh.

[02:01:08] Hmm.

[02:01:08] Yeah.

[02:01:09] It seems that that, I mean, you know, after understanding the context and who they were

[02:01:14] doing things to and what was happening.

[02:01:17] Like, after I understand all the bits about the story.

[02:01:19] Yeah.

[02:01:20] The story becomes very perfectly obvious to me what it is.

[02:01:23] Yeah.

[02:01:23] And I'm going to grant you, I didn't understand it in the moment.

[02:01:26] That was because I didn't understand all the mechanisms of what was happening.

[02:01:29] Right.

[02:01:30] The geography, the times, the which nation was what.

[02:01:34] Yeah.

[02:01:34] Yeah.

[02:01:35] Those are the things I didn't understand.

[02:01:36] But once I did know those.

[02:01:38] Yeah.

[02:01:38] The story is an obvious story.

[02:01:41] Right.

[02:01:42] It's a story.

[02:01:42] And a good one.

[02:01:43] Yeah.

[02:01:43] It's a good one.

[02:01:44] Let's not take away from that.

[02:01:45] Right.

[02:01:45] Right.

[02:01:45] It doesn't need to be real for it to be a solid, good story.

[02:01:50] No.

[02:01:50] But like, that's the thing, right?

[02:01:52] Like, all these Christians out there, they have to say the Bible is the word of God and

[02:01:57] the word of God is infallible and it cannot be incorrect.

[02:02:00] Right.

[02:02:00] And so there's all these people that have to attribute realness to every aspect of the

[02:02:08] Bible when it doesn't really need that.

[02:02:10] It doesn't.

[02:02:11] And in fact, probably would do better if it was not.

[02:02:13] I was going to say you're doing God a disservice by insisting that this is real.

[02:02:17] Like, I can imagine God is going, oh, no, guys, you're missing.

[02:02:22] What?

[02:02:23] Oh.

[02:02:24] Oh.

[02:02:25] Well, no.

[02:02:26] And that's just it.

[02:02:27] Right.

[02:02:27] Like, if we could agree that if Christians could agree that there are some things in here

[02:02:34] that are just stories, they're just ways to make points or bring home to convey an

[02:02:41] idea.

[02:02:41] Yeah.

[02:02:41] Right.

[02:02:42] If they could just agree on that and then also agree that humans did write these, you

[02:02:48] know, like and maybe some of this could be fallible.

[02:02:51] Right.

[02:02:51] Yeah.

[02:02:52] If they could admit that much and but then still believe and say, look, it's a work in

[02:02:58] progress.

[02:02:58] They maybe interpreted it wrong.

[02:03:00] Like, you know, make different excuses.

[02:03:02] Right.

[02:03:03] The excuses they make, though, are so they're so beyond ridiculous.

[02:03:07] It doesn't even invite a solid conversation.

[02:03:08] It makes it harder to accept what they're giving you.

[02:03:12] Yeah.

[02:03:13] And I just it turns.

[02:03:15] I think that aspect of apologists turns people away more than anything else.

[02:03:20] Right.

[02:03:20] Right.

[02:03:21] Like, you know, that's just absurd.

[02:03:22] Just stop.

[02:03:23] Stop.

[02:03:24] Right.

[02:03:25] Like, I could believe that a bunch of believers wrote this stuff.

[02:03:28] I could also believe that a bunch of people with political axes to grind.

[02:03:35] Sure.

[02:03:35] This stuff and, you know, utilized the the believers.

[02:03:40] Right.

[02:03:41] Yeah.

[02:03:41] You know, I can believe all that.

[02:03:43] That that happened.

[02:03:44] That clearly happened.

[02:03:45] We've talked about this before.

[02:03:47] Like, but they can't they won't even believe somebody telling them a story today that they

[02:03:53] witnessed, but they'll believe this book written by multiple hundreds of people.

[02:03:59] Right.

[02:03:59] From thousands of years ago.

[02:04:01] Right.

[02:04:01] Over somebody that walked down the street to tell them something.

[02:04:03] That's how they get.

[02:04:05] They give this book more credit than that person that just walked up to them.

[02:04:08] I have I have two examples of this kind of stupid thinking.

[02:04:13] OK.

[02:04:13] Yeah.

[02:04:13] The first one is Trump not wanting to test for covid during his first reign.

[02:04:22] Yeah.

[02:04:22] Because that would somehow make more cases.

[02:04:28] Not that there would be more cases recorded, but that by counting them, well, of course,

[02:04:34] you're going to find them.

[02:04:35] Yeah.

[02:04:36] Like and that will make there be more.

[02:04:37] Right.

[02:04:38] So that kind of thinking is example one of.

[02:04:44] OK, my mom said that she believes that Bill Cosby is innocent because it came out during

[02:04:55] that same time when everybody was accusing somebody of sexual harassment or rape or whatever.

[02:05:04] Yeah.

[02:05:04] And I'm like, you totally and completely misunderstood the Me Too movement.

[02:05:10] The Me Too movement was not a bunch of people all got raped all at once.

[02:05:14] Right.

[02:05:15] It was a bunch of women finally being brave enough all at once to tell the stories of all

[02:05:21] the rapes that had occurred throughout the last 50 years.

[02:05:25] There was a literal fucking court case.

[02:05:27] Yeah.

[02:05:27] Like they had to prove he was proven guilty.

[02:05:30] Yeah.

[02:05:30] So, OK, whatever.

[02:05:32] But no, it wasn't that a bunch of of women were brave enough to tell their stories.

[02:05:37] It was that a bunch of women came out of nowhere and just were like, well, I was raped yesterday.

[02:05:44] Oh, my God.

[02:05:45] Me too.

[02:05:46] Everybody.

[02:05:46] We all got raped yesterday.

[02:05:48] And it's like.

[02:05:49] Right.

[02:05:49] You completely don't understand what you're talking about.

[02:05:53] And you're you're not understanding what the data has shown.

[02:05:57] Sure.

[02:05:58] And that's what this is about.

[02:06:01] Right.

[02:06:01] That's what a belief in the Bible is about.

[02:06:03] It's about not understanding the Me Too movement.

[02:06:07] It's about not understanding the the belief that that counting the cases of COVID is going

[02:06:18] to turn up more COVID.

[02:06:19] You know what I mean?

[02:06:20] Kind of.

[02:06:21] I'm not.

[02:06:22] I don't know that I followed your whole thought process there.

[02:06:25] Well, you started with saying that people don't understand what what is happening.

[02:06:33] And yeah, so they.

[02:06:35] OK, so you're just OK.

[02:06:36] I'm giving examples of people not understanding what's happening.

[02:06:40] Yeah.

[02:06:40] OK.

[02:06:40] Yeah.

[02:06:40] I got it.

[02:06:41] And misunderstanding the facts right before their eyes.

[02:06:44] Sure.

[02:06:44] Because that's something else you said facts right before your eyes.

[02:06:47] You see something happen and you don't believe that.

[02:06:50] But you do believe this.

[02:06:51] Right.

[02:06:52] And that's that's why I have.

[02:06:53] I struggle so much with the way people attribute so much truth to this book.

[02:06:58] Right.

[02:06:59] Right.

[02:06:59] Because there's no there's no real basis for it other than somebody else told them about

[02:07:04] it that somebody else told them about it that, you know, somebody else told them about

[02:07:07] it.

[02:07:08] So on and so forth for generations and generations and generations.

[02:07:12] Right.

[02:07:12] That's it.

[02:07:13] That's all.

[02:07:14] That's all this is.

[02:07:15] Right.

[02:07:16] It's just it's word of mouth for word of mouth.

[02:07:19] But it's also an inability to correctly understand data.

[02:07:24] Yeah.

[02:07:25] You know.

[02:07:25] Yeah.

[02:07:25] Sure.

[02:07:25] And between the two, you just got such sad, sad people like.

[02:07:30] Right.

[02:07:31] And let's just be honest, like a church is literally an indoctrination building, you know,

[02:07:35] Yeah.

[02:07:35] Yeah.

[02:07:36] Yeah.

[02:07:36] Exactly.

[02:07:37] I mean, that's what vacation Bible school is.

[02:07:38] Sure.

[02:07:39] Yeah.

[02:07:39] For kids.

[02:07:39] Send your kids for a week or three during the summer to go get indoctrinated.

[02:07:45] Indoctrinated.

[02:07:47] Indoctrinated.

[02:07:48] Indoctrinated.

[02:07:48] They get bubble gum, too.

[02:07:49] Yeah.

[02:07:50] They get.

[02:07:55] All right.

[02:07:56] So unverified stories of people surviving.

[02:07:59] OK.

[02:08:00] And we're going to go through these.

[02:08:01] No.

[02:08:01] Oh, no.

[02:08:02] Biblical story of Jonah is therefore understand as a miraculous account.

[02:08:06] Blah, blah, blah.

[02:08:07] The fish episode and other elements might have been literary devices used to communicate

[02:08:13] a larger spiritual message.

[02:08:15] Could be.

[02:08:16] Could be.

[02:08:16] Might be.

[02:08:17] Right.

[02:08:17] Yeah.

[02:08:18] Jonah's story aligns with other ancient narratives that use fantastical elements to teach moral

[02:08:24] lessons.

[02:08:24] You don't say.

[02:08:25] For example, the tale of being swallowed by a sea creature parallels myths from other cultures

[02:08:31] such as Hercules and Hesionine or the Mesopotamian story of bom, bom, bom, Gilgamesh.

[02:08:38] Go figure.

[02:08:39] Right.

[02:08:39] Yeah.

[02:08:40] Yeah.

[02:08:40] A symbolic interpretation aligns well with the broader biblical themes of repentance,

[02:08:46] divine mercy, and human fallibility, making the story's truth more about its message

[02:08:52] than its literal details.

[02:08:53] So don't worry about the facts.

[02:08:56] Right.

[02:08:56] Right.

[02:08:56] And I will point out that if you missed it, we did do a recent episode on Gilgamesh.

[02:09:00] We did.

[02:09:01] So you can go back.

[02:09:01] I believe that was a part one and that we were going to come back for a part two.

[02:09:05] Was it really?

[02:09:06] I think so.

[02:09:07] I don't recall, honestly.

[02:09:08] I'll go listen to the end.

[02:09:09] But I think you had questions and you were like, no, we need more.

[02:09:14] I know we ended the last special episode where we did the cults with more questions.

[02:09:20] Yes.

[02:09:20] You know, but that's going to be a part four.

[02:09:22] Right.

[02:09:22] Yeah.

[02:09:22] I wanted to talk about Bocanism from, you know, Kurt Vonnegut.

[02:09:25] And you also wanted to talk about...

[02:09:27] Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[02:09:28] Yeah.

[02:09:29] Of course.

[02:09:29] Yeah.

[02:09:30] Yeah.

[02:09:30] But you can only catch those if you're on Patreon or Discord.

[02:09:33] Right.

[02:09:33] So, you know, go do those things.

[02:09:34] But the Gilgamesh one was available for all.

[02:09:36] Yes.

[02:09:37] It was a bonus one.

[02:09:38] Yes.

[02:09:38] And I believe, like I said, that there's a part two that you wanted.

[02:09:42] Yeah.

[02:09:43] Okay.

[02:09:43] I'll have to...

[02:09:44] We'll see.

[02:09:44] I don't recall.

[02:09:45] I'll have to refresh my memory.

[02:09:47] That was like four weeks ago.

[02:09:47] I mean, it wasn't, but okay.

[02:09:50] Feels like it.

[02:09:51] All right.

[02:09:52] So that was all chapter one.

[02:09:54] Okay.

[02:09:54] Okay.

[02:09:54] Let's get into chapter two.

[02:09:55] Yeah.

[02:09:56] Okay.

[02:09:56] Jonah's prayer of thanksgiving for deliverance in the belly of the whale.

[02:10:00] Okay.

[02:10:00] Okay.

[02:10:00] Jonah's three days and nights inside the fish.

[02:10:04] Yeah.

[02:10:05] When Jonah praises God for his deliverance.

[02:10:07] Yes.

[02:10:08] Okay.

[02:10:09] Jonah regained consciousness inside the great fish.

[02:10:12] This completely unbelievable experience caused him to believe that it was God's way of saving

[02:10:17] his life.

[02:10:18] Thank you for saving my life.

[02:10:20] From inside the fish, he then thanked God for saving him from drowning.

[02:10:24] He seems to have remembered phrases from various psalms and prayers used in temple worship,

[02:10:30] and he brought these together to form his own prayer of thanksgiving.

[02:10:33] He couldn't remember any single one, but just lines from several that he was like.

[02:10:38] So whoever put the story together later was like, this looks good.

[02:10:42] I like that.

[02:10:42] They're going to use that.

[02:10:43] Oh, over here.

[02:10:44] That's a good bit.

[02:10:45] And they're like, wait, I don't remember how this part goes, but I just remember that

[02:10:48] one line from that one song.

[02:10:50] Right.

[02:10:50] Yeah.

[02:10:51] That's how I do it.

[02:10:52] That's how I do it.

[02:10:52] Yeah.

[02:10:53] That's how I do it.

[02:10:53] Yeah.

[02:10:54] Yeah.

[02:10:54] So then Jonah describes his trouble and cries out to God, and then hears God's faithful answer.

[02:11:01] Okay.

[02:11:01] Okay.

[02:11:02] So in the opening words of the psalm, Jonah recalled his prayer of desperation as he found

[02:11:07] himself overcome by the rough seas.

[02:11:10] He was sinking into what he feared was the world of the dead.

[02:11:14] So he was scared.

[02:11:15] He was sinking.

[02:11:16] Yeah.

[02:11:16] I'm a sinking.

[02:11:17] Right.

[02:11:18] As he sank deeper and deeper, the pressure of water increased and he could feel himself

[02:11:22] losing consciousness, which is why this is all a fucking fever dream.

[02:11:26] Yeah.

[02:11:26] Right.

[02:11:26] He felt that his end had come and that he would be cut off from God forever.

[02:11:31] I think he was probably like, oh, thank goodness.

[02:11:33] Right.

[02:11:34] Maybe he had a drowning scare.

[02:11:36] Yeah.

[02:11:36] Maybe he almost drowned.

[02:11:38] And then this whole thing just kind of, you know.

[02:11:41] Yeah.

[02:11:41] I don't know.

[02:11:42] Could be.

[02:11:43] Yeah.

[02:11:43] So the next thing he knew, he was alive inside the great fish.

[02:11:46] Yeah.

[02:11:47] Wakey, wakey.

[02:11:48] That happens, I guess.

[02:11:49] Eggs no bakey.

[02:11:50] God had answered his prayer and saved him.

[02:11:52] So then Jonah declared his commitment to God.

[02:11:55] Jonah had no idea how he would return to the world of his fellow human beings, but he knew

[02:12:00] that if God had done this much for him, the same God wouldn't finish his work and save

[02:12:05] him fully.

[02:12:06] How would Jonah know he's in a fish?

[02:12:09] Maybe it's squishy.

[02:12:11] Squishy on the inside?

[02:12:12] I mean, it's got to smell fishy.

[02:12:14] You think?

[02:12:15] Well, maybe he felt himself being swallowed.

[02:12:17] And then he was like passing out.

[02:12:19] And then he was like, oh, I'm in a fish.

[02:12:22] Help.

[02:12:22] A fish swallowed me.

[02:12:23] And then he's like passing out.

[02:12:24] And then he gets saved.

[02:12:25] And he's like, wakey, wakey.

[02:12:27] And he's like, oh, I'm alive.

[02:12:29] But I'm still on a fucking fish.

[02:12:31] Right.

[02:12:31] Right.

[02:12:31] Yeah.

[02:12:32] So in confidence, he thinks he offered things for his salvation, even though it was still

[02:12:37] not complete.

[02:12:38] Right.

[02:12:39] OK.

[02:12:39] Yeah.

[02:12:39] He's like, thank you.

[02:12:42] Now I have to go to Nineveh.

[02:12:43] Right.

[02:12:44] Yeah.

[02:12:44] I got to get out of the fish first.

[02:12:46] Yeah.

[02:12:46] Yeah.

[02:12:46] Maybe I'll die.

[02:12:47] Maybe.

[02:12:48] Right.

[02:12:48] Yeah.

[02:12:48] But no, God speaks to the fish and Jonah is expelled, which is a pleasant word for thrown

[02:12:55] up and vomited.

[02:12:56] Sure.

[02:12:56] Barfed.

[02:12:57] Yeah.

[02:12:58] Yeah.

[02:12:58] So God rewarded Jonah's faith and gratitude by delivering him from the fish.

[02:13:03] Yeah.

[02:13:04] It is commonly thought that Jonah was vomited out on the shores of Nineveh.

[02:13:08] But we are not told that this was the case, especially because Nineveh is about 375 miles

[02:13:14] from the Mediterranean Sea.

[02:13:16] Yeah.

[02:13:16] That wouldn't make a lot of sense.

[02:13:17] Right?

[02:13:18] Yeah.

[02:13:18] Yeah.

[02:13:18] So he had some walking to do or the fish spit him all the way across all that dry land.

[02:13:25] I like that.

[02:13:26] I like that imagery.

[02:13:27] As long as he's going to spit him far, he might as well like.

[02:13:29] He just spittoons the thing.

[02:13:33] Like a potato gun, right?

[02:13:34] Right.

[02:13:35] Okay.

[02:13:36] Okay.

[02:13:36] So then we get into chapter three.

[02:13:39] All right.

[02:13:39] When Jonah preaches and we talk about the repentance of Nineveh after Jonah preaches there.

[02:13:45] Right.

[02:13:46] Okay.

[02:13:46] Yeah.

[02:13:47] So Jonah is sent again to Nineveh, a city of three days journey, which if I recall correctly,

[02:13:55] no, it was a city that was further across, but he only got three days in.

[02:14:01] No, no, no, no.

[02:14:01] It was three days across.

[02:14:03] Three days across.

[02:14:03] He only got one day in.

[02:14:04] Okay.

[02:14:04] That's right.

[02:14:05] That's right.

[02:14:05] And then everybody started repenting and giving, you know, so he didn't have to walk

[02:14:08] the rest of the day.

[02:14:09] He was like, cool, I'm out.

[02:14:10] But it didn't really say he didn't, but it didn't say that he did either.

[02:14:13] So.

[02:14:13] Right.

[02:14:14] Right.

[02:14:14] So God repeated his command to, to Jonah to go and preach in Nineveh.

[02:14:19] Yeah.

[02:14:19] And this time Jonah obeyed God.

[02:14:21] God's message was that within 40 days, Nineveh would because of its wickedness be overthrown.

[02:14:27] And Jonah's like, and I give a fuck because why?

[02:14:31] Right.

[02:14:31] Right.

[02:14:32] Like good.

[02:14:32] They should be overthrown.

[02:14:34] Okay.

[02:14:35] Now listen, both the Septuagint and the Arabic read three days, not 40 days.

[02:14:42] Okay.

[02:14:42] Isn't that interesting?

[02:14:43] Yeah, it is.

[02:14:44] Jonah began.

[02:14:45] This is what verse four says.

[02:14:46] Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city, proclaiming 40 more days and Nineveh

[02:14:51] will be overthrown.

[02:14:53] Okay.

[02:14:53] Okay.

[02:14:53] But the Septuagint and the Arabic say three days, not 40 days.

[02:14:57] Well, that would, that would lend more, um, because if there was something pending two

[02:15:03] more days out, that would lead a lot more, like it would lend a lot more legitimacy for

[02:15:08] them, like giving in and giving up to God.

[02:15:11] Right.

[02:15:12] Mm-hmm.

[02:15:12] But also it lends a lot less legitimacy to the act of doing that.

[02:15:16] Right.

[02:15:16] So I don't know which one, like one makes more sense.

[02:15:19] Well, all the earlier versions all say 40 days.

[02:15:23] So.

[02:15:24] The earlier versions say 40 days?

[02:15:25] Okay.

[02:15:26] Yeah.

[02:15:26] The Septuagint and the Arabic versions.

[02:15:28] You said three days for those.

[02:15:29] Say three days.

[02:15:30] Ah.

[02:15:30] But the earlier versions, the Hebrew and stuff.

[02:15:33] Okay.

[02:15:33] Okay.

[02:15:34] Okay.

[02:15:34] All right.

[02:15:34] Yeah.

[02:15:34] They all say 40.

[02:15:36] So it sounds like the, the older or the newer versions, they got the, they got confused

[02:15:40] with the three days across the city versus the 40 days.

[02:15:43] I don't know.

[02:15:43] I don't know because some of the symbols, um, between the Hebrew and the Aramaic, um, Arabic,

[02:15:51] sorry, not Aramaic, Arabic.

[02:15:52] Yeah.

[02:15:52] Um, they're very similar.

[02:15:55] So it might've just been a misinterpretation of the number.

[02:16:00] Sure.

[02:16:00] But it could easily have been a mix up.

[02:16:02] Like you said, three is three over here, three there, three there.

[02:16:05] Right.

[02:16:05] Yeah.

[02:16:06] Yeah.

[02:16:06] So the inhabitants in consequence of the prophets preaching, repent in dust and ashes, um,

[02:16:14] verses five and six read when the Ninevites believed or the Ninevites believed God, a fast

[02:16:20] was proclaimed and all of them from the greatest to the least put on sackcloth.

[02:16:23] Yeah.

[02:16:24] When Jonah's warning reached the King of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his

[02:16:27] royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust.

[02:16:31] They were on that shit.

[02:16:32] Yeah.

[02:16:33] And they even dressed their animals and everything.

[02:16:35] Right.

[02:16:35] Yeah.

[02:16:36] Must've been quite a scene.

[02:16:37] Right.

[02:16:37] I could just imagine.

[02:16:39] Sackcloth is a thick, coarse cloth normally made from goat's hair.

[02:16:43] Wearing it displays the rejection of earthly comforts and pleasures.

[02:16:47] Right.

[02:16:47] Because I imagine that stuff is scratchy as shit.

[02:16:49] Right.

[02:16:49] Yeah.

[02:16:49] It reminds me of like army blankets.

[02:16:51] Right.

[02:16:52] Oh, they're green and coarse.

[02:16:54] They're so, oh, they're so itchy.

[02:16:56] Yeah.

[02:16:56] Like if you have any kind of texture issues, like me and my sister could not, we could not

[02:17:03] sleep under those.

[02:17:04] Right.

[02:17:04] And when you are traveling with the military, when you first reach your destination.

[02:17:10] Yeah.

[02:17:11] You're living in temporary quarters and they give your family these blankets and they're

[02:17:18] fucking horrible.

[02:17:19] And, you know, you don't have a choice because.

[02:17:22] There's nothing else.

[02:17:23] Right.

[02:17:23] And you're like, thank you for the free things.

[02:17:25] You know, I wouldn't have blankets otherwise because of the military.

[02:17:29] Right.

[02:17:30] But could we?

[02:17:31] Okay, no.

[02:17:32] Itchy.

[02:17:32] Got it.

[02:17:33] Yeah.

[02:17:33] Cheap as fucking itchy.

[02:17:35] Right.

[02:17:35] And gratitude that you have it.

[02:17:37] Yeah.

[02:17:37] But still.

[02:17:38] Right.

[02:17:39] So God, seeing that they were deeply humbled on account of their sins and that they turned

[02:17:44] away from all their iniquities, repents of the evil with which he had threatened them.

[02:17:49] Okay.

[02:17:49] Yeah.

[02:17:50] So the people repented.

[02:17:51] And the Ninevites leaders and common people alike heeded Jonah's warning and turned in repentance

[02:17:56] to God.

[02:17:57] The king even issued a decree commanding a moral reformation in the city.

[02:18:02] As a result to the Ninevites repentance, God withdrew his threat of destruction.

[02:18:07] Okay.

[02:18:08] Yeah.

[02:18:08] So God deals with a prophet's heart is what comes up next.

[02:18:15] Yeah.

[02:18:15] Okay.

[02:18:16] And this is chapter four now.

[02:18:18] Okay.

[02:18:18] Okay.

[02:18:18] Yep.

[02:18:18] And he is pissed.

[02:18:20] He's like, the fuck, bro?

[02:18:21] This isn't fair.

[02:18:23] Right.

[02:18:23] Which we've already kind of covered.

[02:18:24] But now we're going to actually talk about it in context of where we're at.

[02:18:28] Sure.

[02:18:28] Okay.

[02:18:29] So verse one says, but to Jonah, this seemed very wrong and he became angry.

[02:18:34] Okay.

[02:18:35] Okay.

[02:18:35] And then Jonah is going to explain his anger and we're going to understand it a little

[02:18:38] better now.

[02:18:38] Yeah.

[02:18:38] We're going to definitely understand more.

[02:18:39] Yeah.

[02:18:40] For sure.

[02:18:40] So Jonah was angry because, and this was a question.

[02:18:43] So we've reached a Q and A.

[02:18:45] Right.

[02:18:45] You know what I mean?

[02:18:46] Like thus far, we've just been doing a Jonah wrap up and recovery.

[02:18:50] This is a specific answer to our specific question.

[02:18:54] Why?

[02:18:54] Why was he?

[02:18:55] I don't get it.

[02:18:56] What?

[02:18:56] Yeah.

[02:18:57] Yeah.

[02:18:57] Okay.

[02:18:57] We've already answered part of it.

[02:18:58] We have.

[02:18:59] We have.

[02:19:00] Really.

[02:19:00] But specifically now we're talking about it because that's where we're at.

[02:19:04] Right.

[02:19:04] Jonah was angry because God granted repentance to the Ninevites and the Assyrians were enemies

[02:19:10] of Judah and Israel.

[02:19:12] Yeah.

[02:19:12] Jonah wanted God to bring judgment upon these people he hated.

[02:19:16] Jonah knew that God was full of grace and mercy and that was why he was afraid to tell

[02:19:21] the people of Nineveh.

[02:19:23] This was at least part of the reason why Jonah did not want to go to Nineveh.

[02:19:26] He was afraid that they would repent.

[02:19:29] That aspect of it, I have to call some bullshit on.

[02:19:31] I agree.

[02:19:32] Like where is it that we have read where God has grace and mercy?

[02:19:36] He like tortures people and says, if you decide to repent afterwards, I'll accept you back.

[02:19:42] Maybe.

[02:19:42] Maybe.

[02:19:43] If I'm in the mind.

[02:19:43] It might be a hundred, a couple hundred years, ten generations.

[02:19:46] I don't know.

[02:19:47] Right.

[02:19:47] But I might.

[02:19:48] Or I might accept you back immediately.

[02:19:50] But curse your kids.

[02:19:51] Sometimes.

[02:19:51] Right.

[02:19:51] But curse your kids.

[02:19:52] Yeah.

[02:19:52] You know.

[02:19:53] Right.

[02:19:53] To the like tenth generation or whatever.

[02:19:56] I just, I don't, I don't see this love and compassion, especially not immediate type

[02:20:01] actions.

[02:20:02] No.

[02:20:02] This time he did.

[02:20:03] Yeah.

[02:20:03] Yeah.

[02:20:04] So Jonah was afraid that they would repent when all along he wanted God to judge the Assyrian

[02:20:10] capital because, you know, they flayed people and put thorns through their noses and left

[02:20:18] them out in the sun.

[02:20:18] And they're looking to conquer his people.

[02:20:20] Yeah.

[02:20:20] Yeah.

[02:20:20] Yeah.

[02:20:20] So he's like, no, fuck those guys.

[02:20:22] I don't want them to repent.

[02:20:23] Right.

[02:20:24] And I don't want you to remove punishment from them.

[02:20:27] Yeah.

[02:20:28] Which I agree with.

[02:20:29] Yeah.

[02:20:30] So verse five says, Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city.

[02:20:34] There he made himself a shelter, sat in his shade and waited to see what would happen

[02:20:39] to the city.

[02:20:40] Sure.

[02:20:40] So he's like, well, I did what I was supposed to do, but surely.

[02:20:45] Maybe their hearts weren't in it, you know?

[02:20:47] Or maybe surely God is going to take into account the fact that, yeah, they all immediately

[02:20:52] donned sackcloth and maybe their hearts were in it.

[02:20:55] I don't know, but they've still like been such horrible asshats.

[02:21:00] Right.

[02:21:00] God's not going to forgive these douches.

[02:21:02] Come on.

[02:21:03] Come on.

[02:21:04] Right.

[02:21:04] Right.

[02:21:04] But no, he seemed to hope that the repentance of Nineveh was not enough to hold back God's

[02:21:09] judgment.

[02:21:09] And he hoped that he would see the city destroyed after all.

[02:21:13] So he went out of the city for safety.

[02:21:16] Okay.

[02:21:16] Got it.

[02:21:17] Well, that lends to the idea of the three days because like it would be a long wait to

[02:21:21] wait 40 days.

[02:21:22] Right.

[02:21:22] You know?

[02:21:23] Yeah.

[02:21:23] A day in, a day out.

[02:21:25] And then what?

[02:21:25] He sat there for 38 days?

[02:21:27] Like, are you kidding me?

[02:21:29] Yeah.

[02:21:30] One might say that Jonah was hot headed, which is, I thought was funny because he was sitting

[02:21:35] there in the hot sun and, you know, God made the hot breeze come and get on him.

[02:21:41] Right.

[02:21:42] He was hot headed.

[02:21:43] Got it.

[02:21:43] He was mad, but he was also hot.

[02:21:46] Yes.

[02:21:47] Okay.

[02:21:48] Anyway, verses 10 and 11 say, but the Lord said, you have been concerned about this plant,

[02:21:54] though you did not tend it or make it grow.

[02:21:57] It sprang up overnight and died overnight.

[02:21:59] Because remember, he had sat there and then God put this sweet little plant to grow up

[02:22:04] overnight and cool him or whatever.

[02:22:06] Sure.

[02:22:06] Even though he's sitting in the fucking shade.

[02:22:08] Yeah.

[02:22:08] He had already built a shelter.

[02:22:09] Yeah.

[02:22:10] Verse 11.

[02:22:11] And should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh in which there are more than

[02:22:16] 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left and also many animals?

[02:22:22] Shouldn't I care about them?

[02:22:23] Yeah.

[02:22:24] Yeah.

[02:22:24] Yeah.

[02:22:24] Sure.

[02:22:25] You care about this one little fucking plant.

[02:22:27] Don't you think I should have at least that for the people and the animals?

[02:22:31] And I'm like, that's a fair argument.

[02:22:32] But couldn't you apply it evenly?

[02:22:35] And why is the first time that you apply it fairly to the goddamn Assyrians?

[02:22:39] Yeah.

[02:22:40] Yeah.

[02:22:40] I mean, come on.

[02:22:41] Yeah.

[02:22:42] I mean, some of the horrific shit God has done.

[02:22:44] I don't even want to list it off because it's so bad.

[02:22:46] It's like when all of a sudden the Republicans start to like follow rules and like clutch their

[02:22:52] pearls and you're like, oh.

[02:22:55] Oh, we're doing this now.

[02:22:56] Oh, you're accusing everybody of being anti-Semitic.

[02:23:01] That is so fucking rich coming from you assholes.

[02:23:04] Right.

[02:23:04] Right.

[02:23:04] Okay.

[02:23:05] Okay.

[02:23:05] It's like so disgusting and disheartening and just like, really?

[02:23:10] I can't with you.

[02:23:12] Right.

[02:23:12] Jewish tradition says that after God said the words of Jonah 411 that I just read about

[02:23:18] the right hand and the left and shouldn't I care about them?

[02:23:20] Yeah.

[02:23:21] Jonah then fell on his face and said, govern your world according to the measure of mercy

[02:23:27] as it is said to the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness.

[02:23:33] Okay.

[02:23:33] So he's agreeing with God essentially?

[02:23:35] Yeah.

[02:23:36] Okay.

[02:23:36] Yeah.

[02:23:37] Yeah.

[02:23:37] In Jonah chapter 4 verse 10, the plant that grew up overnight is often translated as a

[02:23:43] gourd, a vine, or a caster plant depending on the Bible version.

[02:23:48] Okay.

[02:23:49] The Hebrew term used is kikion or kikion which has led to various interpretations.

[02:23:56] FYI.

[02:23:56] Got it.

[02:23:57] I don't know that that's really that important.

[02:23:58] It's not.

[02:23:59] But this was a source of much conversation.

[02:24:03] Again, debating the realism of a fairy tale is a little bit absurd to me, but okay.

[02:24:08] Right.

[02:24:08] So as to it being a gourd, some believes it refers to a fast growing vine such as a bottle

[02:24:14] gourd or similar species.

[02:24:16] A caster plant is another.

[02:24:19] Others suggest it might be the caster bean plant, ricinus communis, known for its broad

[02:24:24] leaves and rapid growth.

[02:24:26] Yeah.

[02:24:27] Okay.

[02:24:27] Uh-huh.

[02:24:28] There's also speculation that it could have been a type of fig or ivy.

[02:24:33] Yeah.

[02:24:33] Okay.

[02:24:33] It grew up overnight and then the worm got on it and ate it up real quick and then it

[02:24:37] died.

[02:24:38] I feel like apologists are like the fandom of like Harry Potter or something.

[02:24:43] Or some major fantasy thing where they're like discuss all the ins and outs of all the things

[02:24:50] and like, well, this could have been that or that could have been.

[02:24:51] All the wrong points.

[02:24:52] Like the Reddit thread of this would be like, I would love the apologists Reddit thread where

[02:24:56] they're just discussing all these things that have to be true and have to be correct.

[02:24:59] And let's describe how.

[02:25:01] Right.

[02:25:01] Because it's like this whole shit show of things that have to be this way or have to

[02:25:08] be that way and they got to describe it exactly so to make sure that it all makes

[02:25:11] sense and it's so important and they can't see straight until it's solved.

[02:25:15] And I'm like, holy fucking hell, just get your head out of your ass.

[02:25:18] Right.

[02:25:19] Like you just look at this from a little bit higher perspective.

[02:25:21] There's enough magic and coincidence in the world that actually happens without you having

[02:25:26] to create shit.

[02:25:27] Right.

[02:25:27] Yeah.

[02:25:28] Like the fact that when I was in the army, I was stationed in Hawaii and also stationed

[02:25:35] there at the same time was a cousin that I didn't know I had because my dad had

[02:25:40] a long lost brother.

[02:25:41] Yeah.

[02:25:42] And they reconnected.

[02:25:44] The brother had been adopted out.

[02:25:47] And so when they got in touch, my dad's brother revealed that he had kids, one of whom was

[02:25:54] stationed where I was.

[02:25:56] That's magical.

[02:25:57] That's a miracle.

[02:25:58] That's a coincidence.

[02:25:59] But is it?

[02:26:00] It's a major base.

[02:26:02] Right.

[02:26:02] Like, so if you're in the in the in the army or whatever.

[02:26:05] There's five military bases or not bases, five military installations on where I was

[02:26:13] at.

[02:26:13] Yeah.

[02:26:14] So, I mean, come on.

[02:26:15] That's what I'm saying.

[02:26:15] So it was a major military base.

[02:26:18] Yeah.

[02:26:18] Right.

[02:26:19] And there's not like.

[02:26:21] No, the one I was on wasn't major, but there were five there, which makes it a military

[02:26:27] hub.

[02:26:28] I'm sorry.

[02:26:29] I didn't use the right words, but you understand.

[02:26:32] It was if there's a large military presence that's there.

[02:26:35] Yeah.

[02:26:36] As as well as there are many other places like that, but not as many as there are cities

[02:26:40] in the United States.

[02:26:41] Right.

[02:26:42] Or not as many as there are states probably.

[02:26:45] I mean, like, you know, like the the the the larger sized bases are not as common.

[02:26:51] So the fact that somebody that you knew sort of kind of went there, it it doesn't like

[02:26:57] yes, it's a small world.

[02:26:59] Right.

[02:27:00] We've all had those moments.

[02:27:01] That's what I mean.

[02:27:01] There's enough stuff that actually happens in the world without you having to create

[02:27:05] shit.

[02:27:06] Right.

[02:27:06] Yeah.

[02:27:07] That's what I was getting at.

[02:27:08] But people would attribute meaning to that.

[02:27:10] People would say, well, that's God.

[02:27:12] We're like you.

[02:27:13] You reconnect with your family because God wanted it to happen.

[02:27:16] Right.

[02:27:16] And he put you guys there together for a reason.

[02:27:19] It's always a reason.

[02:27:20] And I'm like, no, it's sometimes you just take shit just happens.

[02:27:25] It does.

[02:27:26] You know where else there's a large military presence?

[02:27:29] San Antonio.

[02:27:30] There's like five military installations there.

[02:27:33] So, you know, where people most often retire from the military to San Antonio.

[02:27:38] Right.

[02:27:39] So guess how many people we ran into when we lived in San Antonio?

[02:27:42] A lot.

[02:27:43] A lot.

[02:27:43] Right.

[02:27:44] It wasn't a coincidence.

[02:27:45] It's where.

[02:27:46] How it goes.

[02:27:47] Guess where the military people go?

[02:27:49] Back to the military places.

[02:27:50] Yeah.

[02:27:51] Yeah.

[02:27:51] Isn't that amazing?

[02:27:52] Weird how that works.

[02:27:53] Right.

[02:27:53] Yeah.

[02:27:53] Yeah.

[02:27:54] Yeah.

[02:27:55] So strange.

[02:27:56] Big, strange.

[02:27:57] Very weird.

[02:27:59] There's a lot.

[02:27:59] I mean, we have the right pad around here.

[02:28:01] Right pad.

[02:28:02] I was going to say, right pad Air Force Base.

[02:28:03] And there's how many retired Air Force people that live out here?

[02:28:06] And that would, I would say, is a big military installation.

[02:28:12] Yeah.

[02:28:12] You know?

[02:28:12] For Air Force.

[02:28:13] For Air Force.

[02:28:14] Yeah.

[02:28:14] So, yeah.

[02:28:16] There's a bunch here as well.

[02:28:17] Right.

[02:28:18] It's just not, I'm not trying to like talk military a lot here.

[02:28:22] Right.

[02:28:22] What I'm trying to say is, yeah, coincidences happen enough in the world without you having

[02:28:29] to make up shit like giant fucking whales that swallow a person and let them live in

[02:28:34] their belly for three days or a fucking plant.

[02:28:37] Yeah.

[02:28:38] You know?

[02:28:38] It doesn't have to be magic.

[02:28:40] It's just a fucking story.

[02:28:42] You don't have to make up magic.

[02:28:43] Right.

[02:28:44] The world is magical enough.

[02:28:45] You don't have to explain the magic that is just a story to begin with.

[02:28:47] Right.

[02:28:48] That's what I'm doing now.

[02:28:49] Right, right, right, right, right.

[02:28:50] Yeah.

[02:28:50] This isn't even like real.

[02:28:52] And they're trying to make it real.

[02:28:54] Yeah.

[02:28:54] And that's where I have the issue with it.

[02:28:56] I'm like, you just need to stop.

[02:28:58] Don't make it real.

[02:28:59] Just admit it's not real.

[02:29:01] Exactly.

[02:29:01] This needs to not be real.

[02:29:03] It needs to not be real.

[02:29:04] Because it doesn't make sense if it's real.

[02:29:06] Yeah.

[02:29:07] And it kind of kills part of the, dare I say, the magic of the story.

[02:29:11] Yeah.

[02:29:12] Absolutely.

[02:29:12] Yeah.

[02:29:13] So the exact identification of the plant is uncertain.

[02:29:16] But the focus of the story isn't on the plant itself.

[02:29:20] Right.

[02:29:21] But rather on God's teaching moment to Jonah using the plant's miraculous appearance and

[02:29:25] sudden withering.

[02:29:27] Yeah.

[02:29:27] To illustrate the lesson about compassion.

[02:29:30] Okay.

[02:29:30] Which in any other literary class would be like, yeah, it was a lesson about compassion.

[02:29:36] Right.

[02:29:36] Yeah.

[02:29:37] I get it.

[02:29:37] Mm-hmm.

[02:29:38] So this book is often compared, or the character of Jonah and what he goes through is often

[02:29:45] compared to Balaam.

[02:29:47] Okay.

[02:29:48] And I'm going to tell a couple of comparisons there.

[02:29:51] And that'll be it.

[02:29:52] And I see from your face that you're not sure who that guy is.

[02:29:56] No, no, no.

[02:29:56] I know exactly who he is.

[02:29:57] He's the one with the talking ass.

[02:29:59] He sure is.

[02:29:59] And that's one of my favorite stories thus far.

[02:30:02] So you're curious.

[02:30:03] So I'm like, how does this way?

[02:30:04] How the hell?

[02:30:05] Okay.

[02:30:05] So we're going to talk about that.

[02:30:07] Okay.

[02:30:07] They share several thematic and narrative similarities in their biblical stories, even though they

[02:30:12] appear in different contexts and for different reasons.

[02:30:15] I do want to step in real quick and say, if you've never heard our Balaam episodes, you

[02:30:20] should go back.

[02:30:20] You should go back and listen because we ranted a lot.

[02:30:24] We did.

[02:30:25] And that was way back in Numbers chapters 22 through 24.

[02:30:30] I think I even yelled a little bit.

[02:30:32] I think you did too.

[02:30:32] I mean, it was, it was man talking ass, you know, it doesn't get any better than that

[02:30:36] shit.

[02:30:37] Yeah.

[02:30:37] Well, here are some key parallels on the talking ass does come up.

[02:30:40] I mean, a spitting fish, I guess that.

[02:30:42] Yeah.

[02:30:42] Using an animal.

[02:30:43] Yeah.

[02:30:44] Okay.

[02:30:44] So number one is they both had a reluctance to obey God.

[02:30:49] Okay.

[02:30:49] Balaam initially resists going with the messengers of Balak seeking God's approval multiple times.

[02:30:57] He later struggles with obeying between obeying God versus fulfilling Balak's request

[02:31:02] to curse Israel.

[02:31:04] Oh, and he went to the, I, sorry, I'm remembering.

[02:31:06] He went to the enemy.

[02:31:08] He went to the enemy to talk to the enemy.

[02:31:10] Yeah.

[02:31:11] Interesting.

[02:31:11] Okay.

[02:31:12] Okay.

[02:31:12] I'm sorry.

[02:31:12] I just, I'm like remembering it.

[02:31:14] It's an interesting comparison, right?

[02:31:16] Yeah.

[02:31:17] I would have never put that together, but I like this.

[02:31:18] Yeah.

[02:31:19] I like this.

[02:31:19] This is the kind of literary shit that I love taking two characters that you would think

[02:31:24] have nothing to do with each other.

[02:31:26] Right.

[02:31:26] And then being like, but let me show you how they're alive.

[02:31:29] Right.

[02:31:29] Yeah.

[02:31:30] Yeah.

[02:31:30] Yeah.

[02:31:30] And Jonah outright flees from God's command to preach to Nineveh, attempting to escape

[02:31:35] his prophetic duty.

[02:31:36] Sure.

[02:31:36] So yes, they both very much shared a reluctance to obey God.

[02:31:40] Yeah.

[02:31:40] Okay.

[02:31:40] Number two, interactions with non-Israelites.

[02:31:44] So Balaam is summoned by Balak, a Moabite king to curse Israel.

[02:31:50] His story primarily unfolds among non-Israelites.

[02:31:54] Yeah.

[02:31:54] Jonah's mission is to preach to the Assyrians in Nineveh, a non-Israelite and traditionally

[02:32:00] hostile group.

[02:32:02] Right.

[02:32:02] So they share interactions with non-Israelites.

[02:32:05] Yeah.

[02:32:05] Okay.

[02:32:06] Use of animals as instruments of God.

[02:32:08] This one is obvious.

[02:32:10] God uses Balaam's donkey to communicate and stop him on the road.

[02:32:15] Yeah.

[02:32:16] The donkey sees the angel of the Lord before Balaam does.

[02:32:19] Yeah.

[02:32:20] Emphasizing.

[02:32:21] And then Balaam commenced on beating his ass.

[02:32:23] Beat that ass.

[02:32:25] Emphasizing Balaam's spiritual blindness.

[02:32:28] Yes.

[02:32:29] Okay.

[02:32:29] Okay.

[02:32:30] Jonah, God uses a great fish to swallow Jonah, sparing his life and redirecting him to obedience.

[02:32:37] Sure.

[02:32:38] So they did both use an animal.

[02:32:40] Right.

[02:32:40] Okay.

[02:32:40] Right.

[02:32:41] Number four, unwilling prophets who ultimately do fulfill God's plan.

[02:32:46] So Balaam, despite his questionable motives, ends up blessing Israel instead of cursing

[02:32:54] them as God commands.

[02:32:55] Right.

[02:32:56] And Jonah reluctantly preaches to Nineveh and the city repents, fulfilling God's purpose.

[02:33:02] Yeah.

[02:33:02] So they do share that.

[02:33:03] If I recall correctly, there was another story about Balaam where maybe the Israelites killed

[02:33:08] him or something like that.

[02:33:08] I honestly don't recall.

[02:33:10] So I'm not even going to.

[02:33:11] I remember there was a weird happen with, like, I remember there was like this follow-up about

[02:33:14] Balaam at some point.

[02:33:15] And we were like, what?

[02:33:16] He was the guy that, you know.

[02:33:18] I want to do a follow-up on him.

[02:33:20] Like, this made me curious to revisit that guy.

[02:33:22] Yeah.

[02:33:22] Yeah.

[02:33:22] Right.

[02:33:22] So I don't know.

[02:33:24] There may be a Balaam follow-up at some point.

[02:33:26] No, that's still one of my favorite stories from the Bible so far.

[02:33:28] Yeah.

[02:33:28] Just because of the absurdity of it.

[02:33:31] The talking ass.

[02:33:31] Yeah.

[02:33:31] Right.

[02:33:32] Get the fuck out of here.

[02:33:33] Number five, God's sovereignty.

[02:33:36] In both stories, God demonstrates absolute control over events and individuals.

[02:33:42] In Balaam's case, God controls his speech and prevents him from cursing Israel.

[02:33:47] In Jonah's case, God controls nature, the storm, the fish, the plant, and the worm, to guide

[02:33:53] Jonah and accomplish his will.

[02:33:55] I think that one's a bit of a stretch.

[02:33:56] That's a bit of a stretch.

[02:33:57] But okay.

[02:33:58] Like, in a long list, I don't think you needed that one personally.

[02:34:02] Right, right.

[02:34:02] Okay.

[02:34:03] Number six, moral ambiguity of the prophets.

[02:34:06] That one I agree with.

[02:34:09] Balaam is portrayed as a complex figure, sometimes obedient to God, but ultimately seen as greedy

[02:34:15] and complicit in leading Israel into sin.

[02:34:19] Right.

[02:34:19] And that was Numbers chapter 31.

[02:34:23] And if I recall correctly, he didn't really even live in Israel.

[02:34:27] He was outside of Israel, if I recall.

[02:34:29] I don't remember.

[02:34:30] I could be wrong about that, but I thought he didn't even live in Israel.

[02:34:33] Like, he was some prophet somewhere else.

[02:34:35] We're like, wait, wait, wait.

[02:34:36] Because this was during, like, Moses's time.

[02:34:39] Yeah.

[02:34:40] And we're like, wait, another prophet?

[02:34:41] Who's another prophet?

[02:34:43] What?

[02:34:43] Yeah.

[02:34:43] And it was just random, like, out of the blue.

[02:34:46] Like, there's another prophet over here.

[02:34:47] And we're like, oh, prophet over there?

[02:34:52] Right.

[02:34:52] Okay.

[02:34:53] Whatever you say, man.

[02:34:54] Well, much like Jonah, Balak, I'm sorry, Balaam, is going to be mentioned again in the

[02:35:03] New Testament.

[02:35:04] They will be referenced.

[02:35:05] Okay.

[02:35:06] Okay.

[02:35:07] Balaam is going to be referenced in 2 Peter.

[02:35:10] Okay.

[02:35:11] What happened to his first Peter?

[02:35:15] Much like the semen.

[02:35:17] Oh, my God.

[02:35:18] Right?

[02:35:18] Yeah.

[02:35:20] Jonah is depicted as a flawed prophet, angry at God's mercy and struggling with self-righteousness.

[02:35:26] Yeah.

[02:35:26] So, yeah, they are both morally ambiguous.

[02:35:29] And they both will be referenced in the New Testament, which I don't really care.

[02:35:35] I'm so, like, already bored and uninterested in the New Testament because to me it's all

[02:35:41] just going to be a rewashing of the Old Testament and more magic.

[02:35:47] I heard recently, like, basically the book of Matthew, like, the account of Matthew for

[02:35:51] Jesus is basically just, like, a checklist of fulfilling all the prophecies.

[02:35:56] I believe you.

[02:35:56] Like, literally, like, goes down the list.

[02:35:58] Like, yep, you did that and you did this and that happened and, you know, whatever.

[02:36:01] You know what?

[02:36:02] I believe that.

[02:36:03] Totally.

[02:36:04] Like...

[02:36:04] I could be wrong about that.

[02:36:05] I think it was Matthew.

[02:36:06] I'm almost certain it was Matthew.

[02:36:07] Well, it's either Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John.

[02:36:10] Right, right, yeah.

[02:36:11] So, one of them guys.

[02:36:11] I'm pretty sure it was Matthew.

[02:36:12] But, like, it was just...

[02:36:13] But literally that...

[02:36:14] There's one of those four books, right?

[02:36:16] Yeah.

[02:36:17] That is literally just them saying, and this is how this prophecy was fulfilled and that's

[02:36:22] how this prophecy was fulfilled and so on and so forth.

[02:36:24] And it's like, oh, okay.

[02:36:25] That's fucking annoying.

[02:36:26] I see what you're doing, guys.

[02:36:27] You know, and it's not cool.

[02:36:28] Like, the lack of imagination that was put into writing the Old Testament.

[02:36:34] And then they're going to go and do that with the New Testament.

[02:36:38] Right.

[02:36:38] And reference the Old Testament.

[02:36:40] To make it fit.

[02:36:42] Yeah.

[02:36:42] I mean, that's what they're doing.

[02:36:43] And I'm like, but you guys didn't even barely try.

[02:36:46] And that is so just annoying.

[02:36:49] Yeah.

[02:36:49] As a writer reading over somebody else's writing.

[02:36:54] Right.

[02:36:54] That's supposed to be hailed as great.

[02:36:56] That is so annoying.

[02:36:59] All right.

[02:36:59] The seventh thing that these two guys shared in common were themes of God's mercy and universal

[02:37:06] power.

[02:37:07] So, Balaam's blessings underscore God's steadfast love for Israel and his protection of his people.

[02:37:13] Okay.

[02:37:14] Wait, what?

[02:37:16] Balaam's blessings.

[02:37:17] Okay, okay.

[02:37:17] All right.

[02:37:17] All right.

[02:37:18] Jonah's story highlights God's mercy toward Nineveh, extending his compassion beyond Israel

[02:37:23] to other nations.

[02:37:24] Except for that he sends them to go conquer his people.

[02:37:26] Later on.

[02:37:27] That's later on.

[02:37:27] We don't talk about that.

[02:37:28] Whatever.

[02:37:29] That's a different story.

[02:37:29] Not that much further on.

[02:37:30] It was pretty close to that time frame.

[02:37:32] That's not in this book.

[02:37:33] That's in a different book of the Bible.

[02:37:35] Okay.

[02:37:35] These similarities underline shared biblical themes such as the universality of God's

[02:37:42] authority.

[02:37:43] Respect his authority.

[02:37:45] Exactly.

[02:37:46] The tension between human will and divine purpose and the use of unlikely or reluctant

[02:37:51] individuals or animals to achieve God's plan.

[02:37:55] Okay.

[02:37:56] Okay.

[02:37:56] I have one last thing to mention and then we can be done.

[02:37:59] Okay.

[02:38:00] So chapter nine of Herman Melville's Moby Dick.

[02:38:04] Yeah.

[02:38:04] Is a sermon and hymn about Jonah, which I did not realize.

[02:38:10] I did not.

[02:38:10] I've read either a large excerpt or I thought I read the whole book, but maybe I only read

[02:38:18] a large excerpt because I do not remember this chapter, but it's been several years.

[02:38:22] Sure.

[02:38:22] Okay.

[02:38:23] So on Jonah's defiance of God's will, a quote is, woe to him who seeks to pour oil upon

[02:38:31] the waters when God has brewed them into a gale, which I just love that.

[02:38:36] Yeah.

[02:38:36] Okay.

[02:38:37] On the lesson of repentance and humility, a quote is, and if we obey God, we must disobey

[02:38:43] ourselves.

[02:38:44] And it is in this disobeying ourselves, wherein the hardness of obeying God consists.

[02:38:52] I mean, I kind of like that line.

[02:38:54] I like it because it's true.

[02:38:56] You do have to swallow your own fucking morals and values if you want to be obedient to God.

[02:39:00] Well, not only that, but you to be a better person in general, right?

[02:39:05] Like God is just a vessel to tell people what is correct and right and the way that they

[02:39:11] should live their lives and the way that people perceive that they should live their lives.

[02:39:15] Right.

[02:39:15] Okay.

[02:39:15] So the fact that they're saying, read that quote one more time.

[02:39:19] Sorry.

[02:39:19] I want to go back to it because I did make something pop in my head.

[02:39:23] Sure.

[02:39:23] Okay.

[02:39:24] If we obey God, we must disobey ourselves.

[02:39:27] And it is in this disobeying ourselves, wherein the hardness of obeying God consists.

[02:39:35] Right.

[02:39:35] So let's just take giving up a habit, right?

[02:39:37] Sure.

[02:39:38] You're disobeying your instincts to give up this habit, to do something better for yourself

[02:39:43] that you know is better.

[02:39:44] Okay.

[02:39:44] That's a positive way of looking at that.

[02:39:46] Yeah.

[02:39:46] No, I'm saying that it's the same generalized concept.

[02:39:50] It's just that people attribute it to the wrong entity.

[02:39:53] It should be yourself that you're attributing these changes to when people, you know, quote

[02:39:59] unquote, give it to God.

[02:40:00] But it has nothing to do with it, God.

[02:40:03] It has to do with you bettering yourself for reasons that are better for yourself.

[02:40:07] See, you're talking about displaying willpower and personal strength.

[02:40:11] Yeah, exactly.

[02:40:11] Which isn't always what giving up a habit is about.

[02:40:17] No.

[02:40:17] But I hear what you're saying, though.

[02:40:19] It could be construed that way, right?

[02:40:20] Sure.

[02:40:20] And there is a lot about religion that kind of you could take it to mean sort of bettering

[02:40:28] yourself, but you're doing it through this entity instead.

[02:40:31] Sure.

[02:40:31] Right?

[02:40:31] Sure.

[02:40:32] And that's part of what I don't like about the whole God concept is that people give this

[02:40:37] ability to change up to this God, whereas really it's so much more fulfilling from my

[02:40:44] perspective if you are able to do it for yourself with your own willpower, with your own instincts,

[02:40:51] with your own ability to just fix that problem.

[02:40:54] I hear you.

[02:40:56] And this is a topic for a different discussion.

[02:40:59] Right.

[02:41:00] Because I have a hard time with that self-help concept that if you don't have willpower and

[02:41:11] personal strength, then you're weak.

[02:41:13] Right.

[02:41:13] And that's what a lot of self-help leans into, which is very demotivating.

[02:41:20] Sure.

[02:41:21] So I hear what you're saying.

[02:41:23] Let me just ask you, like, you know, you recently gave up soda, right?

[02:41:28] Right.

[02:41:28] But if you had given that, if you had given up soda because of God, wouldn't it be less

[02:41:36] meaningful to you?

[02:41:37] Okay.

[02:41:37] Yes.

[02:41:38] But I also just in full honesty, don't want to take a lot of credit or whatever.

[02:41:46] Like I did not exhibit a lot of personal strength and willpower in giving up pop.

[02:41:52] No.

[02:41:52] Although I was extremely addicted.

[02:41:54] I was drinking several sodas a day.

[02:41:57] Right.

[02:41:57] I got sick with a very sore throat for a week and hardly could take in anything.

[02:42:04] Right.

[02:42:04] So giving up soda, I had, when I got better, I had already not drank hardly anything for

[02:42:10] a week and had already gone through all of the withdrawal symptoms and everything.

[02:42:16] But okay.

[02:42:17] Even though.

[02:42:17] I just merely didn't start drinking soda.

[02:42:19] But somebody might have had that happen to them and said, God help me quit that.

[02:42:24] Right.

[02:42:24] Sure.

[02:42:24] But no, you quit it through an act, through a thing that happened to you.

[02:42:28] Right.

[02:42:28] And then you've also maintained it past there.

[02:42:31] I will take the credit for maintaining it.

[02:42:33] I won't take the credit for quitting it.

[02:42:35] I just don't feel like that's fair.

[02:42:36] But don't you think, even with that being the case, don't you think that if it was given

[02:42:39] to God, even in the first place, don't you feel like that would lessen the ability for

[02:42:43] you to maintain this habit change in your life?

[02:42:46] Honestly, I don't know.

[02:42:48] I mean, probably.

[02:42:49] Probably.

[02:42:50] I see what you're saying and I agree in theory.

[02:42:53] Right.

[02:42:53] But somebody who is a believer might say, yeah, but God, God got me sick as a purpose

[02:42:59] to, you know, use through that illness, me being able to get rid of a habit I couldn't

[02:43:06] otherwise get rid of.

[02:43:07] Yeah.

[02:43:07] And do I feel any better about it than they do?

[02:43:12] Because I'm not giving myself credit for quitting.

[02:43:15] They're not giving themselves credit for quitting.

[02:43:16] And that's fair.

[02:43:16] That's fair.

[02:43:17] I'm blaming the illness.

[02:43:18] They're blaming God.

[02:43:19] It probably, it works better if you had worked hard to do it yourself.

[02:43:23] Right.

[02:43:23] And use willpower and all that.

[02:43:24] Right.

[02:43:24] And I can't, I cannot take credit for it.

[02:43:26] I guess it's a bad.

[02:43:27] It's a bad example.

[02:43:28] Yeah.

[02:43:28] But I was trying to, I was trying to make a point based off what was being said and you

[02:43:32] completely shot it in the, I didn't mean to.

[02:43:35] I'm just trying to be honest.

[02:43:36] Like I can't take credit for something.

[02:43:37] Really shot it in the chest.

[02:43:39] Like you just put a full stop on it.

[02:43:40] You know, it was a, you killed that one.

[02:43:42] I did.

[02:43:43] I killed it.

[02:43:43] I'm so sorry.

[02:43:45] I just, I have to be honest that I can't take credit for something that I didn't do.

[02:43:48] Right.

[02:43:48] No, I got it.

[02:43:49] I got it.

[02:43:49] I was trying to drag it out of you, but you just wouldn't.

[02:43:51] I wouldn't do it.

[02:43:53] I wouldn't, but I, I don't blame God either.

[02:43:56] Like I'm not giving God credit.

[02:43:58] Certainly.

[02:43:58] I got it.

[02:43:58] I just, I got sick and it happened and I just took advantage of it and was like, well, I

[02:44:02] guess I'm done with soda now.

[02:44:03] Yeah.

[02:44:04] It's been a fucking week.

[02:44:05] So why pick it back up?

[02:44:06] Exactly.

[02:44:06] All right.

[02:44:07] Here's the last quote.

[02:44:08] Okay.

[02:44:08] And then we're done.

[02:44:09] All right.

[02:44:09] Okay.

[02:44:10] Delight is to him who against the proud gods and commodores of this earth ever stands forth

[02:44:17] his own inexorable self.

[02:44:20] And I got to tell you that quote is way too literary for me.

[02:44:25] Like I cannot bat my brain around it.

[02:44:27] Right.

[02:44:28] Okay.

[02:44:28] Can you?

[02:44:29] Delight is to him who against the proud gods and commodores of this earth ever stands for.

[02:44:37] I got nothing.

[02:44:39] Delight.

[02:44:39] Yeah.

[02:44:40] Who against the proud gods and commodores.

[02:44:42] I think that's basically what, what I was saying is that delight is to the person who against the proud gods and the commodores of this earth.

[02:44:53] So the important people stands for himself.

[02:44:56] Stands for himself.

[02:44:57] Okay.

[02:44:57] Right.

[02:44:58] Yeah.

[02:44:58] Okay.

[02:44:58] Okay.

[02:44:59] I like that.

[02:44:59] I think that that's, that's what I was kind of getting at.

[02:45:01] Well, okay.

[02:45:02] I can actually get down with that one then.

[02:45:04] Right.

[02:45:05] Like, yeah, I don't need gods and commodores.

[02:45:09] Right.

[02:45:10] You know, I can stand forth with my own inexorable self.

[02:45:13] Yeah.

[02:45:14] No, I think that's, that's quite a statement actually.

[02:45:16] I do have delight unto myself.

[02:45:18] Right.

[02:45:18] Yeah.

[02:45:19] Okay.

[02:45:19] Do you have delight unto yourself?

[02:45:21] So much.

[02:45:22] Do you delight yourself all the time?

[02:45:23] Every day.

[02:45:24] Mm.

[02:45:26] That's a lot of semen.

[02:45:31] And on that note.

[02:45:31] Full circle.

[02:45:32] All right, guys.

[02:45:33] That was the Jonah wrap up.

[02:45:37] It sure was.

[02:45:38] And Q&A.

[02:45:38] And Q&A.

[02:45:39] Yeah.

[02:45:39] Mostly wrap up.

[02:45:40] We're just going to call it wrap up, I think.

[02:45:42] Yeah.

[02:45:42] So that's a wrap.

[02:45:43] I had an entire like 15 minute story I could have gone into about this guy who, it was claimed,

[02:45:50] got swallowed by a whale.

[02:45:51] Yeah, no.

[02:45:52] But no.

[02:45:52] I don't care that much.

[02:45:53] I didn't want to.

[02:45:54] Right.

[02:45:54] So I left him completely out.

[02:45:54] Some other time.

[02:45:55] Maybe we'll do some other.

[02:45:56] Who knows?

[02:45:57] Someday.

[02:45:58] Probably not.

[02:45:58] If we ever touch on Jonah again.

[02:46:00] Fuck that guy.

[02:46:00] Whatever.

[02:46:01] We're done.

[02:46:01] Yep.

[02:46:02] Bye, guys.

[02:46:02] Bye.

[02:46:09] Wife.

[02:46:10] Do you know what we're doing today?

[02:46:12] Well, we are, we're doing our contradictions episode.

[02:46:16] No, we're doing You're Always Wrong, followed by a pop quiz.

[02:46:22] Sometimes I'm right, though.

[02:46:24] I mean.

[02:46:24] Sometimes.

[02:46:25] But that's not what this is about.

[02:46:26] That's not what this is about.

[02:46:27] Okay.

[02:46:32] Which answer you pick, yes or no, yes or no, true or false, whatever.

[02:46:35] It doesn't matter because the Bible contradicts itself.

[02:46:40] Yeah.

[02:46:40] It's less about you being wrong and more like you, the reader.

[02:46:44] The Bible is wrong.

[02:46:45] The Bible is always wrong.

[02:46:47] Yeah.

[02:46:47] Yeah.

[02:46:48] And the reader gets screwed.

[02:46:49] And I get an opportunity to make fun of you and say that you're always wrong.

[02:46:54] So that's what this is about.

[02:46:55] You're always wrong.

[02:47:02] It's been, we've had a lot of research to do and a lot of things to catch up on.

[02:47:06] Well, and I don't know if you can totally hear it, but my voice is not at its best.

[02:47:10] Yeah.

[02:47:10] So I'm just going to struggle through.

[02:47:12] It's why like my song is like very mid.

[02:47:15] It's like, you're always wrong.

[02:47:18] Like I can't hit any high notes.

[02:47:21] Oh my.

[02:47:22] See?

[02:47:22] Yeah.

[02:47:23] That's a treat for everyone.

[02:47:24] I know, right?

[02:47:25] Yeah.

[02:47:25] Uh-huh.

[02:47:26] All right.

[02:47:27] Are you ready to get into this?

[02:47:28] Sure as fuck am.

[02:47:29] Let's do this.

[02:47:30] Okie dokie.

[02:47:37] All right.

[02:47:37] Let's get into this contradictions thing.

[02:47:40] Okay.

[02:47:40] Um, it's going to be really short because listen.

[02:47:44] Not a lot of contradictions, huh?

[02:47:45] No.

[02:47:45] There were four questions and two of them are ones we've covered ad nauseum.

[02:47:50] And those were, does God know and see all?

[02:47:53] Yes and no and yes and no and yes and no depends.

[02:47:56] Right.

[02:47:56] Um, I'm not even getting into it.

[02:47:58] Yeah.

[02:47:58] The other one was, does God repent?

[02:48:00] Yes and no and maybe.

[02:48:01] Yes and no and maybe.

[02:48:03] It depends on the word repent.

[02:48:04] And like some Christians don't even think that that's what the word, um, is actually translated

[02:48:11] to mean.

[02:48:12] Sure.

[02:48:13] And it says, does God repent of this or does he just fucking regret it?

[02:48:16] That's where you get into a lot of the like back and forth.

[02:48:19] Yeah.

[02:48:19] It's like, well, this doesn't translate here and this doesn't translate there.

[02:48:21] But yeah, but yet they, you know, like it depends on who you're talking to on any given day.

[02:48:28] And that's why this gets so frustrating is that the type of Christian you're talking to

[02:48:33] and the, uh, the exact words and translation that they accept changes from person to person.

[02:48:41] Well, it does.

[02:48:42] And also we, having done this enough, have even changed what we decided is a good enough

[02:48:48] question to be included in our, um, does this count?

[02:48:53] Contradictions.

[02:48:54] Yeah.

[02:48:54] And we've decided that those two questions are old and stupid and we don't want to answer

[02:48:59] them anymore.

[02:48:59] Well, because we've done it a million times.

[02:49:01] Yeah.

[02:49:01] Right.

[02:49:01] So yes and no.

[02:49:02] You're always wrong.

[02:49:03] Okay.

[02:49:03] Um, the next one is contradicted within the book itself.

[02:49:10] Okay.

[02:49:10] Okay.

[02:49:10] Who cast Jonah into the sea?

[02:49:12] Was it the sailors or was it God?

[02:49:14] Hmm.

[02:49:15] I would have gone with the sailors.

[02:49:18] Right.

[02:49:18] Yeah.

[02:49:19] Um, yeah.

[02:49:19] According to chapter one, verse 15.

[02:49:22] So they look up Jonah and cast him forth into the sea.

[02:49:25] Right.

[02:49:25] Okay.

[02:49:26] Yeah.

[02:49:26] So that's what happened.

[02:49:27] But guess what?

[02:49:28] I'm apparently wrong.

[02:49:30] You're always wrong.

[02:49:31] Wrong.

[02:49:32] Because in chapter two, verse three, it says, for thou hast cast me into the deep.

[02:49:36] Jonah speaking to God.

[02:49:37] So he's saying, you God cast me into the deep in the midst of the seas.

[02:49:41] Then why were those sailors repenting to God?

[02:49:44] See, here's the thing.

[02:49:45] I think this is another case of a stupid question, quite honestly, because clearly it was the sailors

[02:49:52] who physically did it.

[02:49:53] Right.

[02:49:54] And what I think is that Jonah is talking to God saying, through those, through

[02:50:01] the tools of those guys, you had me cast into.

[02:50:05] Right.

[02:50:06] So I'm like, is that a contradiction?

[02:50:08] Not so much.

[02:50:09] And that's why I'm like, okay, here we go.

[02:50:12] Right.

[02:50:12] And then.

[02:50:13] I mean, to be fair.

[02:50:14] Right.

[02:50:14] Yeah.

[02:50:14] I'm trying to be fair to the Bible.

[02:50:18] Right.

[02:50:18] Which I do regret.

[02:50:20] But one must always say that I tried to be objective for objectivity's sake.

[02:50:27] Sure.

[02:50:27] No, I think that that's important that we at least allow for it to, you know, we're not

[02:50:34] here to just straight bash the Bible.

[02:50:37] No.

[02:50:37] That's not what we're doing.

[02:50:38] There are enough contradictions without being stupid about it.

[02:50:42] And there's enough ugly shit in here, you know?

[02:50:43] Yeah.

[02:50:44] It takes care of itself with regard to the bad crap in the Bible.

[02:50:48] We don't have to argue about whether it was the sailors or God.

[02:50:52] Right.

[02:50:52] It was clearly the sailors physically did it.

[02:50:55] But technically, this is a contradiction in some realms, in some discussions.

[02:51:00] I guess.

[02:51:00] Sure.

[02:51:00] I don't know that it's really a contradiction.

[02:51:03] I've never heard anybody talk about it, but I don't talk to Christians about it a lot.

[02:51:06] Well, there's so many contradictions, not many people talk about many of them.

[02:51:09] Here's the thing.

[02:51:10] I think that atheists would consider that a contradiction more than Christians would.

[02:51:16] Sure.

[02:51:17] And I'm not here for that because that's bullshit.

[02:51:20] I'm sorry.

[02:51:21] No, I agree.

[02:51:22] And I'm not going to team up with the atheists just for the sake of being on the atheist team because that's not how I fucking roll.

[02:51:29] Right.

[02:51:29] You know?

[02:51:30] No, I agree.

[02:51:31] Obviously not trying to cast dispersions on atheists, being one myself.

[02:51:35] No, I think that the atheist community in general, right, is a little predisposed to, you know, being a bit more harsh on certain things than they need to be sometimes.

[02:51:49] Not always.

[02:51:50] This would be one of those.

[02:51:51] Not always.

[02:51:52] Well, because it was an atheist who put these questions together, right?

[02:51:55] Sure.

[02:51:55] And so I'm like, is that really a contradiction, Mr. Friend Atheist?

[02:52:02] I don't believe so.

[02:52:04] No, and we'll agree on 99 points, but not that one.

[02:52:06] Exactly.

[02:52:07] You know?

[02:52:07] That's all I'm saying.

[02:52:08] Yeah.

[02:52:09] So this last one, I'm going to include it even though the contradiction does not appear until the New Testament.

[02:52:17] Oh.

[02:52:18] Yeah.

[02:52:19] Okay.

[02:52:19] We're making an exception for this one.

[02:52:21] Okay.

[02:52:22] Because the question is, was Jonah swallowed by a fish or a whale?

[02:52:26] And we know the fucking answer.

[02:52:28] It's a fish.

[02:52:28] Right?

[02:52:29] Yeah.

[02:52:29] It was a big fish.

[02:52:31] It's a big fish.

[02:52:31] According to Jonah chapter one, verse 17.

[02:52:34] Now the Lord had prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah.

[02:52:37] Yeah.

[02:52:37] Right?

[02:52:38] And I mean, there was an argument about, is it a fish?

[02:52:40] Well, they called it a whale, but he actually never called it a whale.

[02:52:44] So it was a fish.

[02:52:45] Right?

[02:52:46] Yeah.

[02:52:46] But guess what?

[02:52:47] What?

[02:52:48] We are always wrong.

[02:52:50] Are we now?

[02:52:51] Because in Matthew, which is the first book of the New Testament, Matthew chapter 12, verse 40 says,

[02:52:59] For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the whale's belly.

[02:53:04] Are you sure that that's in all translations though?

[02:53:07] According to the place where I got this contradiction from.

[02:53:12] Okay.

[02:53:13] Okay.

[02:53:13] I just wondered because I thought that maybe it was just the King James version.

[02:53:19] So I wasn't sure whether or not that was going to be, you know.

[02:53:23] Right.

[02:53:23] And I thought that it never actually said the whale anywhere in the Bible is what I had read.

[02:53:29] Right.

[02:53:29] So I don't know.

[02:53:31] Okay.

[02:53:31] But according to the source that I used for these questions, Matthew refers to the fish as a whale.

[02:53:40] Okay.

[02:53:40] So I don't know.

[02:53:42] You can call me out on that.

[02:53:43] Honestly, I don't really fucking care.

[02:53:45] I'm not defending it one way or the other.

[02:53:47] All of these were a stretch.

[02:53:48] I only included it because I didn't have one to include.

[02:53:52] Got it.

[02:53:52] Got it.

[02:53:53] Okay.

[02:53:54] So do you care?

[02:53:55] No.

[02:53:55] I mean, not necessarily.

[02:53:57] But I mean, you know, I don't know.

[02:53:59] I mean, I would be curious to dig into that a little bit more maybe when we get to Matthew.

[02:54:03] Yeah.

[02:54:03] And that's another thing.

[02:54:05] When we get to Matthew, we're going to have more questions.

[02:54:09] And I didn't want to delve too much into translations and stuff with regard to a book we haven't even entered yet.

[02:54:18] Right.

[02:54:18] Right.

[02:54:18] Particularly in a big part of the book that we haven't entered yet.

[02:54:24] Yeah.

[02:54:24] Like the entire we're done with being Jewish now part of the book.

[02:54:28] So I was just like, whatever.

[02:54:31] Right.

[02:54:32] So.

[02:54:32] Okay.

[02:54:32] So that is the you're always wrong.

[02:54:35] Okay.

[02:54:35] But having said that, I have a pop quiz for you.

[02:54:39] Do you now?

[02:54:39] I do.

[02:54:40] Okay.

[02:54:40] I got 10 out of 13.

[02:54:42] Okay.

[02:54:43] Can you beat me?

[02:54:44] We're going to find out, aren't we?

[02:54:45] Yeah.

[02:54:46] Okay.

[02:54:46] This was a little bit harder than I thought.

[02:54:49] So buckle up, friends.

[02:54:51] I'm buckling up.

[02:54:52] All right.

[02:54:52] Number one, what was the message of Jonah to the people of Nineveh?

[02:54:57] And I'll read you the four choices and then I'll repeat it for our friends listening at home who would like to play along.

[02:55:02] Sure.

[02:55:03] Okay.

[02:55:03] Choices are God wants you to repent.

[02:55:07] In 40 days, Nineveh shall be overthrown.

[02:55:10] The creation story or the narration of his journeys to the country.

[02:55:15] Okay.

[02:55:16] This was one of the easier ones.

[02:55:17] Yeah.

[02:55:17] Sure.

[02:55:18] But the question again is, what was the message of Jonah to the people of Nineveh?

[02:55:23] God wants you to repent.

[02:55:25] In 40 days, Nineveh shall be overthrown.

[02:55:28] The creation story or the narration of his journeys to the country.

[02:55:34] I think that it is.

[02:55:38] It's one of two.

[02:55:40] I think that it's the they're going to be overthrown in 40 days.

[02:55:43] Yeah.

[02:55:44] Okay.

[02:55:44] That is the one you want to go with.

[02:55:46] Got it.

[02:55:46] The other one would be God wants you to repent.

[02:55:48] Right.

[02:55:49] I would say that that is a correct answer, but I don't think it's the correctest.

[02:55:53] Okay.

[02:55:53] I already took this quiz, so I know the one that they want, and that is the one they want.

[02:55:58] Got it.

[02:55:58] Because I got that one right.

[02:56:00] Yeah.

[02:56:00] Okay.

[02:56:00] Okay.

[02:56:00] All right.

[02:56:01] Yeah.

[02:56:01] Number two.

[02:56:03] This one, I was like, I don't fucking know.

[02:56:05] How many persons are there in the great city of Nineveh?

[02:56:08] Oh, I know this one.

[02:56:09] Here's your choices.

[02:56:10] Okay.

[02:56:10] Oh, do you know it without any?

[02:56:11] Pretty sure.

[02:56:12] Go ahead.

[02:56:13] We're letting them play along.

[02:56:14] Oh, yeah.

[02:56:14] Yeah.

[02:56:15] Okay.

[02:56:15] So, yeah, don't answer yet.

[02:56:16] 10,000 people, 24,000 people, less than 50,000 people, or more than 120,000 people.

[02:56:25] And again, the question is, how many people are there in the great city of Nineveh?

[02:56:30] 10,000, 24,000, less than 50,000, or more than 120,000?

[02:56:37] Pretty certain that it's going to be more than 120,000.

[02:56:40] You're going to be correct on that.

[02:56:42] Yeah.

[02:56:42] And I was like, I have no fucking idea.

[02:56:44] I number, you know, numbers don't stick in the stupid head, the stupid potato head.

[02:56:50] All right.

[02:56:51] Number three.

[02:56:51] How big was the city that Jonah was sent to?

[02:56:55] Was it seven hours journey wide, three days journey wide, 10 days journey wide, or 40 days

[02:57:04] journey wide?

[02:57:04] And I'll play that again.

[02:57:06] Sure.

[02:57:06] And yeah, this was one of the easier ones that I got right.

[02:57:09] Right.

[02:57:09] Seven hours journey wide.

[02:57:11] How big was the city that Jonah was sent to?

[02:57:13] Seven hours journey wide, three days journey wide, 10 days journey wide, or 40 days journey

[02:57:20] wide?

[02:57:20] Three days.

[02:57:21] Exactly.

[02:57:22] Yep.

[02:57:22] You're doing good.

[02:57:24] Okay.

[02:57:25] Number four.

[02:57:27] According to Jonah, what belongs to the Lord?

[02:57:30] I had to guess on this and I got it wrong because I don't fucking know.

[02:57:34] Holiness, righteousness, humility, or salvation.

[02:57:38] According to Jonah, what belongs to the Lord?

[02:57:42] Holiness, righteousness, humility, or salvation?

[02:57:47] Hmm.

[02:57:48] Hmm.

[02:57:49] Hmm.

[02:57:51] Hmm.

[02:57:51] Uh, whoo.

[02:57:54] Um, I'm going to go with salvation.

[02:57:56] That's what I went with.

[02:57:57] I think that's wrong, unless this is the one that I guessed and got right.

[02:58:00] Okay.

[02:58:01] Accidentally.

[02:58:01] All right.

[02:58:01] Yeah.

[02:58:02] But I think that's wrong.

[02:58:03] But I don't know.

[02:58:03] We'll see.

[02:58:04] Any one of those could have.

[02:58:05] Right?

[02:58:06] They all belong to the Lord.

[02:58:07] But what is the answer that you want?

[02:58:09] Right.

[02:58:10] All right.

[02:58:10] Number five.

[02:58:11] How did the inhabitants of the city react to Jonah's warning?

[02:58:15] This was an easy one.

[02:58:16] I think I'll probably know this one.

[02:58:17] Yeah.

[02:58:17] Jonah, they ignored it.

[02:58:18] They mocked it.

[02:58:19] They did not believe it.

[02:58:20] They repented.

[02:58:22] Do we even need to repeat that one?

[02:58:23] I'm gonna, for our friends listening at home who want to play along.

[02:58:27] Sure, sure.

[02:58:28] How did the inhabitants of the city react to Jonah's warning?

[02:58:32] They ignored it.

[02:58:33] They mocked it.

[02:58:34] They did not believe.

[02:58:35] Or they repented.

[02:58:36] They repented.

[02:58:37] They sure as fuck did.

[02:58:38] Yeah, they did.

[02:58:39] All right.

[02:58:39] Number six.

[02:58:41] What was the first command given to Jonah by God?

[02:58:45] Okay.

[02:58:45] Ready?

[02:58:46] Okay.

[02:58:46] I think I know this one, too.

[02:58:47] Yeah.

[02:58:48] Offer sacrifice, buy a ship in Tarshish, go to Nineveh, or forge a chain.

[02:58:54] And here we will ask again.

[02:58:56] Yep.

[02:58:56] What was the first command given to Jonah by God?

[02:59:00] Offer sacrifice, buy a ship in Tarshish, go to Nineveh, or forge a chain.

[02:59:07] And it's gonna be go to Nineveh.

[02:59:09] I believe that is correct.

[02:59:10] And then he ran the fuck away.

[02:59:12] Yep.

[02:59:12] Yep.

[02:59:12] The opposite direction to Tarshish.

[02:59:14] Right.

[02:59:14] Yep.

[02:59:15] Number seven.

[02:59:16] Number seven.

[02:59:18] Sorry.

[02:59:19] What did those who pay...

[02:59:21] Let me reread that.

[02:59:24] Okay.

[02:59:24] What did those who pay regard to vain idols forsake, according to Jonah?

[02:59:31] Hope of steadfast love, sacrifice to God, place of refuge, or the true God?

[02:59:54] I will have to go with the true God.

[02:59:58] Sure.

[02:59:58] I have no idea.

[02:59:59] Worshiping idols who aren't the true God, right?

[03:00:01] That's what I would think.

[03:00:03] It makes sense to me.

[03:00:05] Number eight.

[03:00:06] What did the Lord appoint to attack the plant over which was over...

[03:00:11] Okay, let me read that again.

[03:00:13] You know the answer.

[03:00:14] Yeah, I do.

[03:00:14] What did the Lord appoint to attack the plant which was over Jonah?

[03:00:20] Was it wind, drought, worm, or flood?

[03:00:24] Worm.

[03:00:25] What did the Lord appoint to attack the plant which was over Jonah?

[03:00:31] Wind, drought, worm, or flood?

[03:00:34] Worm.

[03:00:35] Of course.

[03:00:35] Yeah.

[03:00:36] Right.

[03:00:37] Number nine.

[03:00:38] How did Jonah describe the God he feared?

[03:00:42] Okay.

[03:00:43] This one was hard to me.

[03:00:44] I know how I describe him.

[03:00:46] I know how I describe him, too.

[03:00:47] Ready?

[03:00:47] Let's see if we can go.

[03:00:48] One, two, three, go.

[03:00:49] He's a dick.

[03:00:50] Yeah.

[03:00:51] Yeah.

[03:00:52] Okay.

[03:00:53] So your choices are creator of heaven and earth, master of the universe, the one who made the sea and the dry land, or the God of Israel.

[03:01:03] Let's read those again.

[03:01:05] Okay.

[03:01:05] How did Jonah describe the God he feared?

[03:01:08] He's a dick.

[03:01:09] No.

[03:01:10] Creator of heaven and earth, master of the universe like He-Man, the one who made the sea and the dry land, or the God of Israel.

[03:01:19] I am going to go with the one who made the sea and the dry land.

[03:01:23] I think that's the one I went with, but I don't remember if it was right.

[03:01:25] And I only picked that not because I know the answer, but because this story involved both the sea and the dry land.

[03:01:32] Right?

[03:01:33] That's...

[03:01:33] So I figured maybe there's some sort of tie-in.

[03:01:35] That's what I wondered.

[03:01:36] But I don't know.

[03:01:38] All right.

[03:01:38] Number 10.

[03:01:39] After Jonah was hurled into the sea, what was the men's reaction to the Lord after the sea ceased from its raging?

[03:01:48] Fear exceedingly, greatly amazed, skeptical, or indifferent?

[03:02:05] They feared the Lord exceedingly.

[03:02:13] Hey, I think I picked greatly amazed.

[03:02:16] Really?

[03:02:16] Yeah.

[03:02:17] I couldn't remember.

[03:02:17] I knew it was one of those.

[03:02:18] It was either feared exceedingly or greatly amazed.

[03:02:21] They were repenting.

[03:02:23] They were scared that they had tossed a prophet into the fucking ocean.

[03:02:27] I don't fucking know.

[03:02:28] If I thought I had tossed a prophet into the ocean, I'd probably be scared, too, if I thought God really existed.

[03:02:32] Right.

[03:02:32] I'd be like, goddamn.

[03:02:34] I better fucking do something.

[03:02:37] Kill a goat.

[03:02:37] I guess.

[03:02:38] Yeah.

[03:02:39] Number 11.

[03:02:40] Which city did Jonah flee towards to escape from the presence of the Lord?

[03:02:45] You keep this answer away already.

[03:02:46] I didn't even remember that it was one of the questions.

[03:02:48] Oopsie.

[03:02:51] Tarshish, Damascus, Ikron, or Ashkelon.

[03:02:54] Which city did Jonah flee towards to escape from the presence of the Lord?

[03:03:01] Tarshish, Damascus, Ikron, or Ashkelon?

[03:03:04] Tarshish.

[03:03:04] Would you have remembered that had I not said it?

[03:03:06] I probably would have, actually, yeah.

[03:03:08] Yeah.

[03:03:08] I don't know.

[03:03:09] That one just stuck in my head.

[03:03:10] Because the Tarshish kind of sticks out in my head as one of those cities that were on the port type thing or whatever.

[03:03:17] So, yeah.

[03:03:18] Well, it was supposed to be towards Spain, I believe.

[03:03:21] The end of the world.

[03:03:22] Yeah.

[03:03:22] Remember?

[03:03:22] Yeah.

[03:03:23] So, I don't know.

[03:03:24] Tarshish just sounds like it would be, like, on the end of the world and headed towards Spain.

[03:03:29] Sure.

[03:03:29] I don't know.

[03:03:30] Yeah.

[03:03:30] Number 12.

[03:03:32] Which part of the city of Nineveh did Jonah make a booth?

[03:03:36] And I was like...

[03:03:37] A booth?

[03:03:38] Yeah.

[03:03:38] I was like, he made a booth?

[03:03:39] I'm wondering if they mean, like, the tent thing that he made.

[03:03:42] Oh.

[03:03:42] Is that what they mean?

[03:03:43] Maybe.

[03:03:44] Yeah.

[03:03:44] I had no idea.

[03:03:45] Okay.

[03:03:45] All right.

[03:03:46] Was it west, east, north, or south?

[03:03:48] And I'll ask that question again.

[03:03:49] Well, then, yeah.

[03:03:50] Okay.

[03:03:51] Okay.

[03:03:51] Which part of the city of Nineveh did Jonah make a booth?

[03:03:54] Was it west, east, north, or south?

[03:03:57] We're going to say tent here.

[03:03:58] Okay.

[03:03:59] Before I answer.

[03:03:59] Okay.

[03:04:00] And I'm going to say east.

[03:04:01] That's what I picked.

[03:04:03] Assuming that they mean tent.

[03:04:05] If that's the part that they're talking about.

[03:04:06] Because, like, there was never a point where they said booth in the reading that we did.

[03:04:10] Right.

[03:04:10] But oftentimes when you do these quizzes and stuff...

[03:04:12] They're using a different translation.

[03:04:14] Right.

[03:04:14] Yeah.

[03:04:14] And that changes things.

[03:04:15] Well, and it causes some difficulty for me answering some of this shit.

[03:04:18] Because I'm like, I don't recall them saying that.

[03:04:20] And sometimes I'm right.

[03:04:21] Yeah.

[03:04:22] I'm like, no, that was never said in our translation.

[03:04:25] So...

[03:04:26] All right.

[03:04:27] Last one.

[03:04:27] Ready?

[03:04:28] Yeah.

[03:04:28] Number 13.

[03:04:29] Number 13.

[03:04:30] Whose son was Jonah?

[03:04:32] Do you remember the name without me?

[03:04:34] When you say it, I probably will know, but I can't recall off the top of my head.

[03:04:37] That's okay.

[03:04:37] We're going to name all four and then read it again.

[03:04:39] Yeah.

[03:04:39] Hilkiah, Eliab, Eliab, Amittai, or Eleazar.

[03:04:45] Number 13.

[03:04:46] Whose son was Jonah?

[03:04:49] Hilkiah, Eliab, Amittai, or Eleazar.

[03:04:56] What was the third one again?

[03:04:58] Amittai.

[03:04:59] I think it was Amittai.

[03:05:00] It was.

[03:05:01] It absolutely 100% was.

[03:05:03] Okay.

[03:05:03] I wanted to say the first one for some reason at first, but then you said Amittai, and I

[03:05:07] was like, I think that's it.

[03:05:08] Yeah.

[03:05:08] That was it.

[03:05:09] Yeah.

[03:05:09] I was.

[03:05:10] It did take me a second to figure that one out.

[03:05:12] Yeah.

[03:05:12] But I think I got it.

[03:05:13] Yeah.

[03:05:13] Okay.

[03:05:13] All right.

[03:05:14] Let's go through these.

[03:05:15] How do I do?

[03:05:16] Oh, you want to know your score?

[03:05:18] Well, yeah.

[03:05:18] I want to know my score.

[03:05:19] All right.

[03:05:20] I think you only missed one.

[03:05:21] Really?

[03:05:23] Yeah.

[03:05:23] You answered all but one.

[03:05:25] Oh, yeah.

[03:05:26] All right.

[03:05:27] Asshole.

[03:05:28] I hate it when you do better than I do.

[03:05:31] All right.

[03:05:31] Number one.

[03:05:32] What was the message of Jonah to the people of Nineveh?

[03:05:35] In 40 days, Nineveh shall be overthrown.

[03:05:37] Yeah.

[03:05:37] Yeah.

[03:05:38] We both got that one right.

[03:05:39] Right.

[03:05:39] How many persons are there in the great city of Nineveh?

[03:05:43] I got this one wrong.

[03:05:44] You got it right.

[03:05:45] The answer is more than 120,000 persons.

[03:05:49] Yep.

[03:05:49] Yep.

[03:05:49] A bunch.

[03:05:50] Yep.

[03:05:51] How big was the city that Jonah was sent to?

[03:05:54] Three days.

[03:05:54] Three days journey wide.

[03:05:56] We both got that right.

[03:05:57] According to Jonah, what belongs to the Lord?

[03:06:01] Salvation.

[03:06:02] Oh, that was the correct answer?

[03:06:03] Mm-hmm.

[03:06:03] Okay.

[03:06:04] I got it right.

[03:06:05] And I don't remember if I got that right or not.

[03:06:07] Right.

[03:06:07] Honestly.

[03:06:08] I know I missed three.

[03:06:10] Three.

[03:06:11] Right.

[03:06:11] Yeah.

[03:06:12] Number five.

[03:06:13] How did the inhabitants of the city react to Jonah's warning?

[03:06:16] We got this right.

[03:06:17] What did they do?

[03:06:18] They capitulated.

[03:06:20] They repented.

[03:06:21] Yeah.

[03:06:21] They repented.

[03:06:22] Yeah.

[03:06:23] Number six.

[03:06:24] What was the first command given to Jonah by God?

[03:06:27] What was it?

[03:06:28] I don't remember, honestly.

[03:06:30] Go to Nineveh.

[03:06:31] Go to Nineveh.

[03:06:32] Yeah.

[03:06:32] I'm sorry.

[03:06:32] Yeah.

[03:06:32] You got it right.

[03:06:33] We both.

[03:06:33] It's late.

[03:06:34] And I'm trying to muddle through this.

[03:06:36] You're like, what?

[03:06:36] You just prompt me here.

[03:06:37] Come on.

[03:06:38] Just what?

[03:06:38] Just prompt me.

[03:06:39] I think we both got this one wrong.

[03:06:42] Number seven.

[03:06:42] What did those who pay regard to vain idols forsake, according to Jonah?

[03:06:48] I think we both picked the true God because that fucking makes sense.

[03:06:52] But the answer was hope of steadfast love.

[03:06:55] Hmm.

[03:06:56] Okay.

[03:06:56] Okay.

[03:06:57] Okay.

[03:06:57] Sure.

[03:06:57] Sure.

[03:06:58] Sure.

[03:06:58] Number eight.

[03:07:00] What did the Lord appoint to attack the plant which was over Jonah?

[03:07:04] A worm.

[03:07:05] Yep.

[03:07:05] A worm.

[03:07:06] We both got that right.

[03:07:07] Yep.

[03:07:08] How did Jonah describe the God he feared?

[03:07:10] The one who made the sea and the dry land.

[03:07:13] I was.

[03:07:14] I didn't know that one for sure, but it just made the most sense to me.

[03:07:16] It just made the most sense.

[03:07:17] Yeah.

[03:07:17] Yeah.

[03:07:17] That's the one I guessed as well for the same reason.

[03:07:20] After Jonah was hurled into the sea, what was the men's reaction to the Lord after the

[03:07:25] sea ceased from its raging?

[03:07:27] Scared as fuck.

[03:07:28] Feared exceedingly.

[03:07:29] That is correct.

[03:07:31] Number 11.

[03:07:32] Which city did Jonah flee towards to escape from the presence of the Lord?

[03:07:37] Tarshish.

[03:07:38] Tarshish.

[03:07:38] That is correct.

[03:07:39] We both got that one right.

[03:07:40] Well, I mean, you helped us all out there on that one.

[03:07:42] Yeah.

[03:07:42] Yeah.

[03:07:43] Yeah.

[03:07:43] Number 12.

[03:07:44] And this one we both got right.

[03:07:46] Which part of the city of Nineveh did Jonah make a booth?

[03:07:50] East.

[03:07:50] East.

[03:07:50] So it's the tent that they were talking about.

[03:07:52] Yeah.

[03:07:52] Because that's where he set the tent out to watch to see if something was going to happen

[03:07:57] to the city.

[03:07:58] And he was facing the direction that the sun comes up, which is a big deal.

[03:08:02] Because we joked about at the time that he was worshipping Ra or something.

[03:08:04] Yeah.

[03:08:04] You know.

[03:08:04] Yeah.

[03:08:05] I mean, it matters.

[03:08:06] It's a big deal to them.

[03:08:07] Yeah.

[03:08:08] Number 13.

[03:08:09] Whose son was Jonah?

[03:08:12] Amittai.

[03:08:12] We both got that right.

[03:08:13] Yep.

[03:08:14] Yep.

[03:08:14] All right.

[03:08:15] So you did better than I did.

[03:08:17] I missed three.

[03:08:19] You only missed one.

[03:08:20] And that's our quiz.

[03:08:23] Okay.

[03:08:23] And that's Jonah.

[03:08:24] That's Jonah, bitches.

[03:08:26] Yep.

[03:08:26] That was not, as things go, was not a bad story.

[03:08:30] No.

[03:08:30] No.

[03:08:31] No.

[03:08:31] And it had a lot of symbolism in it that I appreciated from a literary standpoint.

[03:08:36] Yeah.

[03:08:37] I like that kind of analysis.

[03:08:39] Right.

[03:08:40] That you can take into the better written stories.

[03:08:42] It was a little meatier than some of the other shit we've read.

[03:08:44] Yeah.

[03:08:44] You know, like as far as, I really appreciated it once we got into the Q&A.

[03:08:48] So like that was one of my favorite Q&As we've done.

[03:08:52] Me too.

[03:08:53] Because I didn't understand shit until we got to that point.

[03:08:55] Yeah.

[03:08:56] And then we got into that Q&A and I was like, oh my God.

[03:08:59] This is pretty fantastic actually.

[03:09:01] Like I understood why he ran away.

[03:09:03] Like yeah, I wouldn't want to go either.

[03:09:05] But then when we understood, no, no, no.

[03:09:07] You think you know why he ran away.

[03:09:09] Right.

[03:09:09] You don't know why he ran away.

[03:09:12] Right.

[03:09:12] Right.

[03:09:13] Like oh.

[03:09:13] And then at the end when it was, why was he so mad?

[03:09:16] Like we had no idea.

[03:09:17] It's really hard to like without, because we've talked about how where, you know, the people

[03:09:22] that wrote these initially, they assume you understand this context.

[03:09:27] Yes.

[03:09:27] Because these things were happening to them and around them and everything.

[03:09:31] Yeah.

[03:09:31] Right.

[03:09:31] And they were known stories in that land.

[03:09:34] Right.

[03:09:34] Yeah.

[03:09:34] But us over here, never having read the Bible, I don't understand off the top of my head that

[03:09:40] Nineveh is part of the Assyrian territory.

[03:09:43] Right.

[03:09:43] You know, I don't understand that that's enemy territory.

[03:09:45] Right.

[03:09:46] So it wasn't something that I picked up on at all.

[03:09:48] Well.

[03:09:48] And I'm sure there were people listening going, oh, these guys are fucking idiots.

[03:09:51] Oh, I'm sure.

[03:09:52] I'm sure.

[03:09:53] But to put it in terms of today, it's kind of like if we're like one time I was talking

[03:10:00] to my mom and I was trying to talk about the Proud Boys.

[03:10:04] Right.

[03:10:05] Right.

[03:10:05] My mom, even though she's MAGA, had no fucking idea what I was talking about.

[03:10:09] She'd never heard of the Proud Boys.

[03:10:11] And I'm like, you're MAGA.

[03:10:12] You're supposed to understand the Proud Boys.

[03:10:14] No, they wouldn't talk about them.

[03:10:16] That's that's something that's a fringe thing.

[03:10:18] Like, so the right would never admit that to the right.

[03:10:20] Right.

[03:10:20] Because that's a thing that happens because they are so far to the right.

[03:10:25] Yeah.

[03:10:25] And I'm like, your boy literally told these Nazi lovers to stand by and stand back and stand

[03:10:33] by.

[03:10:34] Like, that's the whole point of what that was about.

[03:10:37] And my mom's like, what are you talking about?

[03:10:39] What's a proud boy?

[03:10:40] And like, I had to explain, like, no, it's not a boy who is proud.

[03:10:44] It's a group.

[03:10:45] But like you speak and you assume that the people around you understand the context of

[03:10:51] what you're talking about.

[03:10:52] Right.

[03:10:53] And this is like my example was from like actual current times.

[03:10:59] Sure.

[03:10:59] And that's funny because this Jonah stuff is from thousands of years ago.

[03:11:05] So.

[03:11:06] Yeah.

[03:11:06] Like, if half the time your audience doesn't even know what the fuck you're talking about

[03:11:10] in the current day, you have to know that thousands of years later, we're not going

[03:11:14] to have a fucking clue.

[03:11:15] I think that's a good reason why most Christians don't really understand the Bible that they

[03:11:19] worship.

[03:11:20] Right.

[03:11:20] Yeah.

[03:11:20] This religion that they worship.

[03:11:22] They don't really understand.

[03:11:24] Yeah.

[03:11:24] What they are doing because why would you bother trying?

[03:11:28] Like, you have to you have to learn so much to get that to the point where you are not

[03:11:36] ignorant about it, that.

[03:11:37] Yeah.

[03:11:37] You it takes too much work.

[03:11:39] Right.

[03:11:39] So you just take people's, you know, word for it and be like, OK, yeah, that's.

[03:11:44] Yeah.

[03:11:44] That's what it is.

[03:11:45] Yeah.

[03:11:46] So because unless you actually read through everything yourself and do so much studying,

[03:11:52] like, where do you even start?

[03:11:53] And like with us, well, we just start at the beginning because we don't know anything.

[03:11:57] I don't know what to tell you, Christian, who, you know, thinks, you know, some of it.

[03:12:01] I don't know where to tell you where to start.

[03:12:03] Right.

[03:12:04] Right.

[03:12:04] No.

[03:12:04] Yeah.

[03:12:04] You already think, you know, some of it.

[03:12:06] So some of it you're going to space out because you're like, yeah, yeah, I already

[03:12:09] know this part.

[03:12:11] Right.

[03:12:11] Or you're going to be like, what are you talking about?

[03:12:14] Skip to something I know.

[03:12:17] Right.

[03:12:18] All right.

[03:12:18] Well, that was that's it for Jonah.

[03:12:20] That's it for Jonah.

[03:12:21] Congratulations to everybody.

[03:12:23] If you've been listening along with us and finishing up another book of the Bible.

[03:12:27] Another book of the Bible is done, son.

[03:12:30] Yeah.

[03:12:30] And we're going to be moving on.

[03:12:32] Well, I got the weekly replay.

[03:12:33] It'll be coming out.

[03:12:33] And then we're going to be moving on to Micah.

[03:12:37] Yep.

[03:12:37] And we'll be doing that probably Tuesday or Wednesday.

[03:12:40] I don't know.

[03:12:41] Well, soon.

[03:12:41] Very soon.

[03:12:42] I believe we're recording it Monday or Tuesday night, but I believe it's coming out Wednesday

[03:12:46] morning.

[03:12:47] Yeah, I think that's right.

[03:12:48] OK.

[03:12:48] All right.

[03:12:49] Well, we'll see you guys then.

[03:12:50] Bye.

[03:12:57] Wife.

[03:12:58] I remembered what to say that time.

[03:13:00] You did.

[03:13:00] Because the last time we started this, you didn't.

[03:13:02] I didn't.

[03:13:03] But I'm good now.

[03:13:04] I'm good now.

[03:13:05] Do you know what we're doing today?

[03:13:06] Yay!

[03:13:07] Well, this is not a Patreon only, but it is a special episode.

[03:13:12] It's a bonus.

[03:13:13] Yeah.

[03:13:14] Yeah.

[03:13:14] So what are we special episode-ing today?

[03:13:17] It's time to talk about Gilgamesh.

[03:13:20] Oh, we've talked about him a few times already.

[03:13:22] He's come up, but we haven't talked about him.

[03:13:24] Yeah.

[03:13:24] We have mentioned his name.

[03:13:26] Yeah.

[03:13:26] And we've been like, oh, wasn't he like one of the original flood guys or something?

[03:13:30] Didn't he do a thing?

[03:13:31] Some of the stories are like Bible-adjacent type things, right?

[03:13:35] Like, didn't the Bible-y thing borrow some shit from him?

[03:13:38] I don't know.

[03:13:39] It seems that way, right?

[03:13:40] Yeah.

[03:13:40] That's what we're reading through and finding stuff out.

[03:13:42] And so I was like, I saw his name.

[03:13:45] It came up just one too many times.

[03:13:46] And I was like, it's time to talk about Gilgamesh.

[03:13:49] What the fuck did you do, Gilgamesh?

[03:13:52] Yeah.

[03:13:52] What did you do, Gilgamesh?

[03:13:53] Okay.

[03:13:54] Let's do this.

[03:13:55] Okie dokie.

[03:14:02] Okie.

[03:14:02] Okie.

[03:14:03] So it's time to talk about Gilgamesh.

[03:14:05] But I have a confession to make.

[03:14:07] Do ya?

[03:14:08] Yeah.

[03:14:08] A few times throughout my notes, I accidentally wrote Gargamel.

[03:14:14] Because it, they have...

[03:14:16] I mean, Smurfs, you know...

[03:14:17] Well, Gar-ga and Gil-ga.

[03:14:20] Like, there's two Gs in both of them that...

[03:14:22] Gargamel is Smurfs, right?

[03:14:23] Gil-ga.

[03:14:24] Yeah.

[03:14:24] Yeah.

[03:14:24] He's the bad guy.

[03:14:25] I was just making sure I was right about that.

[03:14:26] I can't remember.

[03:14:27] And then there's this Smurfs Christmas special.

[03:14:29] Goodness makes the badness go away.

[03:14:32] Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

[03:14:34] Goodness makes the badness go away.

[03:14:38] You know?

[03:14:38] I mean, I do now.

[03:14:40] They're singing around the fire and it makes the fire go down.

[03:14:42] Because goodness makes the badness go...

[03:14:45] Yeah.

[03:14:45] Because fire is bad?

[03:14:46] Well, the fire was going to burn them.

[03:14:48] Oh.

[03:14:49] Well, yeah.

[03:14:49] That was bad.

[03:14:49] That kind of fire is bad.

[03:14:50] Yeah.

[03:14:51] Okay.

[03:14:51] Yeah.

[03:14:52] That's fair.

[03:14:52] And Gilgamesh was like,

[03:14:54] Don't let me die in this circle of fire.

[03:14:57] He's so bad.

[03:14:58] Not Gilgamesh.

[03:14:59] Oh, I didn't see how I called him Gilgamesh.

[03:15:02] No, he's Gargamel.

[03:15:03] Yeah, Gargamel.

[03:15:04] And so I'm just letting you know now I will be using those terms interchangeably and just

[03:15:11] go with it.

[03:15:11] Oh, my God.

[03:15:11] But here is another name I will use interchangeably that's not my fault.

[03:15:18] Ishtar and Inanna are the same girl.

[03:15:21] Mm-hmm.

[03:15:22] It just depends.

[03:15:23] Like, are we talking Arcadia or Sumerian?

[03:15:26] I feel like we talked about this one other time.

[03:15:27] We did.

[03:15:28] Okay.

[03:15:28] More than once.

[03:15:29] All right.

[03:15:29] Yeah.

[03:15:30] I brought that up before.

[03:15:31] But, like, I'm going through different, you know, sources.

[03:15:34] And sometimes she's called this and sometimes she's called that.

[03:15:37] And like I said, it just depends on which Mesopotamian area you're looking at.

[03:15:45] Okay.

[03:15:45] And like barely years apart, you know?

[03:15:48] Yeah.

[03:15:48] So, okay.

[03:15:49] Just letting you guys know.

[03:15:50] Sometimes you will hear one name that magically changes into another name and just don't sweat

[03:15:55] it.

[03:15:55] You're not crazy.

[03:15:56] It's me.

[03:15:57] Right.

[03:15:57] If it starts with a G, it's all Gilgamesh.

[03:15:59] Yeah.

[03:16:00] And if it starts with a I, it's all Ishtar?

[03:16:06] So, yeah, whatever.

[03:16:08] Okay.

[03:16:09] Isn't that what we know her as now today?

[03:16:11] I don't know.

[03:16:12] Mostly we call her Ishtar now, I think.

[03:16:14] I don't call her shit because I don't know who she is exactly anymore.

[03:16:17] I remember we talked about her one other time.

[03:16:18] She's some goddess.

[03:16:19] That's all I really know about her.

[03:16:20] She's always around.

[03:16:21] She's just some goddess.

[03:16:22] She's always around.

[03:16:22] I mean, she's a lurker.

[03:16:24] She's a lurker.

[03:16:25] Okay.

[03:16:26] I'm pretty sure she was like a pick-meat girl.

[03:16:29] Mm.

[03:16:30] Okay.

[03:16:30] You know?

[03:16:30] Because her name is, it's like, yeah, we all know you, Ishtar.

[03:16:34] Okay.

[03:16:35] Got it.

[03:16:36] Okay.

[03:16:37] All right.

[03:16:38] So, today we're going to talk about Darkamel.

[03:16:41] No.

[03:16:41] A dude who is probably a bit of a jerk, but also kind of fascinating.

[03:16:47] Okay.

[03:16:47] You ready for this?

[03:16:48] Sure.

[03:16:48] Okay.

[03:16:49] Gilgamesh is the protagonist of, boom, boom, boom, the epic of Gilgamesh.

[03:16:55] I, you know, I guess I probably could have guessed that.

[03:16:58] And when I'm saying epic, I'm not using the term in the Bill and Ted way, like epic, yes.

[03:17:04] Yes.

[03:17:05] I'm using it as like long rolling story thingy.

[03:17:11] Right.

[03:17:11] You know?

[03:17:12] That covers many years and much ground.

[03:17:14] Mm-hmm.

[03:17:14] Okay.

[03:17:15] An epic.

[03:17:16] An epic saga.

[03:17:17] Got it.

[03:17:18] And Gilgamesh is the star.

[03:17:19] Okay.

[03:17:20] Yeah.

[03:17:21] So, it's an epic poem that was written originally in Acadia during the late second millennium BCE.

[03:17:30] Oh, wow.

[03:17:30] Yeah.

[03:17:31] Okay.

[03:17:31] This bitch is old.

[03:17:33] Right.

[03:17:33] Okay.

[03:17:34] All right.

[03:17:34] So, let's talk about the dude for a minute, Gilgamesh.

[03:17:37] Sure.

[03:17:37] Okay.

[03:17:37] I've got several different categories.

[03:17:38] We're going to talk about the dude.

[03:17:40] We're going to talk about the story.

[03:17:42] Like, they're separate things.

[03:17:43] Okay.

[03:17:43] Because Gilgamesh actually was a guy.

[03:17:46] I mean, as far as we know from stories.

[03:17:49] There are several different sources that suggest that he was actually a king guy that lived.

[03:17:55] Back in those days.

[03:17:57] Got it.

[03:17:58] So, he was probably a historical king of the city Uruk, which is a city in ancient Mesopotamia in what is now modern-day Iraq.

[03:18:07] Okay.

[03:18:08] And then it's like, I just said, wait, what?

[03:18:10] Man?

[03:18:11] King?

[03:18:11] God?

[03:18:11] Yeah.

[03:18:12] Who is he?

[03:18:13] What is he?

[03:18:13] I don't get it.

[03:18:14] Right.

[03:18:14] Yes, yes, and yes is the answer to those questions.

[03:18:17] So, he was likely one of those conquering guys.

[03:18:20] He's like, let's all go fight.

[03:18:22] Right.

[03:18:22] And then when his team won, he's like, yeah.

[03:18:25] And then he leveled up from human soldier boy to human king dude.

[03:18:31] As you do in-

[03:18:32] In those times.

[03:18:33] In those times.

[03:18:33] Yeah, when you kill a lot of bad guys and sack their city, then you're like, I'm the boss.

[03:18:39] And apparently you can promote your way all the way to God.

[03:18:42] They let you do it.

[03:18:43] Yeah.

[03:18:43] If you're a star, they let you do it.

[03:18:45] And he was a star.

[03:18:47] Yeah.

[03:18:47] So, that was on him.

[03:18:49] Okay?

[03:18:50] He's like, I was just a human, now I'm a human king guy.

[03:18:53] Got it.

[03:18:54] Okay?

[03:18:54] Yeah.

[03:18:55] Then, he was probably posthumously deified.

[03:18:59] Meaning, after he died, eventually at some point, they were like, you know what?

[03:19:03] I think that guy might have been a god.

[03:19:05] Uh.

[03:19:06] Why?

[03:19:06] Who knows?

[03:19:07] Maybe he kept his dick to himself, which probably would have gone over well with his underlings.

[03:19:13] I guess.

[03:19:14] Yeah.

[03:19:14] I mean, because everybody was rapey back then.

[03:19:15] Or maybe he didn't and he had so many kids that, you know, they just carried on the tradition for him.

[03:19:20] He turned down Ishtar, so.

[03:19:21] Oh, okay.

[03:19:22] All right.

[03:19:23] Okay.

[03:19:23] But, it could have also been because his city was fucking awesome.

[03:19:27] Hmm.

[03:19:27] Okay?

[03:19:27] Okay.

[03:19:27] Let's talk about his fucking city.

[03:19:29] The city of Uruk.

[03:19:30] Yeah.

[03:19:31] Okay?

[03:19:31] Yeah.

[03:19:32] It's known today as Warka.

[03:19:34] And it was an ancient city in the Near East located east of the current bed of the Euphrates River.

[03:19:40] The current bed.

[03:19:42] Okay?

[03:19:42] Got it.

[03:19:42] Yeah.

[03:19:42] And this matters.

[03:19:43] Okay.

[03:19:44] On an ancient, now dried channel of the river.

[03:19:48] Okay?

[03:19:48] Which is sad because you're going to hear how wonderful it was.

[03:19:51] Got it.

[03:19:51] The city, which is named for its king at that time, Uruk.

[03:19:56] Mm-hmm.

[03:19:56] That king guy.

[03:19:57] Yeah.

[03:19:57] Flourished briefly but did not maintain significance in the long run.

[03:20:01] Like, it kind of had a, like, flame that would, like, flame on and then kind of, like, die out.

[03:20:06] And then it was, like, flame up!

[03:20:07] And then it would die out.

[03:20:09] Okay.

[03:20:09] And eventually it just, like, burned itself out.

[03:20:11] Well, it sounds like the river kind of moved.

[03:20:14] Exactly.

[03:20:14] Exactly.

[03:20:15] That's exactly, like, the majority of what happened.

[03:20:17] Right.

[03:20:17] Yeah.

[03:20:18] Yeah.

[03:20:18] So, Uruk, the city, was extremely well irrigated by a canal system that has been described as Venice in the desert.

[03:20:27] Really?

[03:20:28] That's how well it, the waterway worked so well.

[03:20:32] Listen to this.

[03:20:33] In 2000 BCE.

[03:20:34] Mm-hmm.

[03:20:35] Really?

[03:20:35] Yeah.

[03:20:36] Interesting.

[03:20:37] This canal system flowed throughout the city, connecting it with maritime trade on the ancient Euphrates River, as well as with the astounding agricultural belt.

[03:20:47] I want to take back what I just said.

[03:20:49] I don't think they referred to it as Venice in the desert.

[03:20:52] We refer to it now.

[03:20:54] We're like, this city was so cool.

[03:20:56] It was like Venice in the desert.

[03:20:59] Got it.

[03:20:59] Got it.

[03:21:00] Yeah.

[03:21:00] Sorry.

[03:21:00] When you said, oh, really?

[03:21:03] It didn't, like, play well.

[03:21:06] I had to, like, re...

[03:21:07] What is that word?

[03:21:08] Like, retype the words and try again.

[03:21:11] Sure.

[03:21:12] I was just saying that I think that, like, you know, to have that level of sophistication in the city...

[03:21:19] Yes.

[03:21:20] ...in those times was pretty significant.

[03:21:22] This city was fucking badass.

[03:21:24] Right.

[03:21:24] Okay?

[03:21:25] Yeah.

[03:21:25] Like, literally badass.

[03:21:27] The Urich...

[03:21:28] Though Urich experienced periods of prominence, the city eventually lost its prime importance.

[03:21:34] Like I said, eventually the candle went out.

[03:21:37] Like flames in the wind.

[03:21:41] Never knowing...

[03:21:42] You know...

[03:21:42] I know.

[03:21:43] I don't...

[03:21:43] Elton John?

[03:21:43] I don't know what you're talking about.

[03:21:44] Okay.

[03:21:45] Yeah.

[03:21:46] I'd have to hear that actually.

[03:21:47] Candle in the wind?

[03:21:48] Got it.

[03:21:48] Okay.

[03:21:48] Okay.

[03:21:49] Until it was finally abandoned shortly before or after the Islamic conquest of 633 to 638.

[03:21:58] Okay.

[03:21:59] Not BCE.

[03:22:00] Got it.

[03:22:01] Yeah.

[03:22:01] So, at that point, it was like, we're just done now.

[03:22:04] We've done a good run several thousand years, but the Islamic conquest is here now and we just were done.

[03:22:13] Okay.

[03:22:13] Okay.

[03:22:14] So, the original city of Urich was situated southwest of the ancient Euphrates River, now dry.

[03:22:21] Currently, the site of Warka, like I already said, is northeast of the modern Euphrates River.

[03:22:26] Okay.

[03:22:26] Okay?

[03:22:26] The change in position, as you guessed, was caused by a shift in the Euphrates at some point in history.

[03:22:33] Yeah.

[03:22:33] Because, I don't know if y'all know this, but rivers fucking shift.

[03:22:36] Yeah.

[03:22:37] That's why there's like...

[03:22:38] They actually put up cement on the sides of the Mississippi to keep the river from shifting.

[03:22:42] Yeah.

[03:22:43] They're like, you stay here.

[03:22:44] You stay.

[03:22:45] Stay.

[03:22:45] At least in a lot of places, anyway.

[03:22:47] Maybe not the whole thing, but, you know.

[03:22:49] Just the important bits.

[03:22:51] Right.

[03:22:51] The rest can go where it may, because it has a lot of tributaries.

[03:22:54] Right.

[03:22:55] So, okay.

[03:22:57] At some point in history, that, the move over time of the river, together with salination due to irrigation,

[03:23:07] may have contributed to the decline of Eurek.

[03:23:10] I'm going to say it did decline.

[03:23:12] Sure.

[03:23:12] But there was other stuff, too.

[03:23:14] It just, it was, it could not keep up.

[03:23:17] Yeah.

[03:23:18] Okay.

[03:23:18] I get it.

[03:23:18] Scholars identify Eurek as the biblical Eurek, E-R-E-C-H, which is a city mentioned in Genesis

[03:23:26] chapter 10.

[03:23:27] Huh.

[03:23:28] Okay.

[03:23:29] I don't know if you remember Eurek, but that was the second city founded by Nimrod, your

[03:23:34] favorite guy.

[03:23:35] Oh, okay.

[03:23:36] All right.

[03:23:36] All right.

[03:23:37] You know, he went out and founded some cities.

[03:23:39] Yeah.

[03:23:40] So, some scholars are like, you know, hey.

[03:23:43] So, that's where Nimrod gets compared to Gilbamesh, which I think we talked about back when we

[03:23:47] were talking about Nimrod.

[03:23:48] I think so.

[03:23:49] I think so.

[03:23:49] Okay.

[03:23:50] All right.

[03:23:50] So, there's some question who founded this fucking city is what I'm getting at.

[03:23:55] Sure.

[03:23:55] It was either Nimrod or Eurek.

[03:23:59] Got it.

[03:23:59] You know?

[03:24:00] Yeah.

[03:24:00] Like, whatever.

[03:24:01] It is believed that the city of Eurek, however, might have been founded by the king Enmirkar.

[03:24:09] Okay.

[03:24:10] Okay?

[03:24:10] Sure.

[03:24:11] And then I wrote this.

[03:24:12] That is not confusing at all.

[03:24:14] Not at all.

[03:24:14] No.

[03:24:15] So, basically, there's a city and we don't know who the fuck.

[03:24:18] Somebody fucking founded it.

[03:24:20] Yeah.

[03:24:20] Yeah.

[03:24:20] And Nimrod was around at the time and our boy Gilgamesh was coming on the scene.

[03:24:27] Right.

[03:24:27] Right.

[03:24:27] Right.

[03:24:28] So, the Sumerian king list, which one of the sources I was reading just, like, threw this

[03:24:33] out.

[03:24:33] You know, the SKL?

[03:24:35] You know?

[03:24:36] Oh.

[03:24:37] The Sumerian king list.

[03:24:39] Yeah.

[03:24:39] Yeah.

[03:24:39] Everybody knows that.

[03:24:40] Sure.

[03:24:40] Yeah.

[03:24:41] I was like, wait, what?

[03:24:42] So, like, I had to open, like, several different tabs because every time I learned a new thing,

[03:24:48] I had to go learn what that was.

[03:24:49] This was, like, not an easy research, actually.

[03:24:52] It was fun and interesting.

[03:24:54] What's a Sumerian king list, you ask?

[03:24:56] No idea.

[03:24:57] Ask it.

[03:24:57] What's a Sumerian king list?

[03:24:59] Okay.

[03:24:59] Well.

[03:24:59] What's an SKL?

[03:25:00] Yeah.

[03:25:01] SKL is literally, like, that's what it's referred to as by scholars.

[03:25:05] Like, they just toss it out like lingo.

[03:25:07] Right.

[03:25:08] Like, that's what it is.

[03:25:09] Yeah.

[03:25:09] But a few times I accidentally wrote SNL.

[03:25:12] And then I thought about it.

[03:25:14] And if we're talking about, like, a knight in shining armor, it's still Saturday Night Live

[03:25:20] just with a K instead of an N.

[03:25:22] Boom.

[03:25:24] Yeah.

[03:25:25] Saturday Night Live.

[03:25:27] You know?

[03:25:28] Yeah.

[03:25:29] All right.

[03:25:30] So, the Sumerian king list, or the SKL.

[03:25:33] This ancient literary composition that was written in Sumerian likely created and redacted

[03:25:40] to legitimize the claims of power of various city-states and kingdoms in southern Mississippi.

[03:25:45] I'm going to explain this in a minute.

[03:25:47] Okay.

[03:25:47] All right.

[03:25:47] During the late third and early second millennium BCE.

[03:25:51] So, okay.

[03:25:51] Way back when.

[03:25:53] Way back.

[03:25:53] Way back.

[03:25:55] That was, you know, Sumerian was writing shit down.

[03:25:59] Yeah.

[03:25:59] And they were like, okay, this city is getting passed down.

[03:26:02] We should write a list and keep track of who ruled it.

[03:26:06] That's what that is.

[03:26:07] Okay.

[03:26:07] Okay.

[03:26:07] So, the SKL, the Sumerian king list, is a list of kings, literally.

[03:26:12] Okay.

[03:26:12] That ruled that.

[03:26:14] Got it.

[03:26:14] Yeah.

[03:26:14] Or that kept track of it.

[03:26:16] Sure.

[03:26:16] Okay.

[03:26:16] Yeah.

[03:26:17] So, that SKL thing mentions a father before him, the epic Enmerkar.

[03:26:24] Okay.

[03:26:24] Uh-huh.

[03:26:24] And in the SKL, the lord of Arada, who's he?

[03:26:28] I don't know.

[03:26:29] The only time he comes up this entire thing.

[03:26:31] So, you know, that lord.

[03:26:32] Yeah.

[03:26:32] No idea.

[03:26:33] He relates that Enmerkar constructed the house of heaven for the goddess Inanna, which is

[03:26:41] Ishtar, in the Inanna district of Uruk.

[03:26:45] Okay.

[03:26:45] Okay.

[03:26:46] Yeah.

[03:26:46] Let me break that down.

[03:26:47] Okay.

[03:26:48] So, Uruk is the city, right?

[03:26:50] Yep.

[03:26:50] So, it's got several different districts, and each district is basically, like, your worship

[03:26:56] centers.

[03:26:57] Okay.

[03:26:58] So, it's like how there's the city of Dayton, but then there's all these, like, little cities

[03:27:02] around it and in it and of it.

[03:27:04] Sure.

[03:27:04] So, like, you could say, I live in Dayton, if you're talking to somebody not in Ohio or even

[03:27:10] not in Dayton.

[03:27:11] But, like, if they're from Dayton, too, they would be like, yeah, but where?

[03:27:15] Which part of Dayton?

[03:27:15] Yeah.

[03:27:16] And they would be like, I don't know, Miamisburg, Troy, you know, Springboro.

[03:27:20] Anywhere within a 50-mile radius, basically.

[03:27:23] Yeah.

[03:27:23] And you would name all these.

[03:27:24] So, okay.

[03:27:25] The littler cities that I just named off, those are districts.

[03:27:28] Okay?

[03:27:29] And each of those districts has its own, like, shrine and worship center to various, to that

[03:27:35] district's god or goddess.

[03:27:36] Okay.

[03:27:37] Okay?

[03:27:37] So, the Ianna district of Uruk is where the goddess Inanna or Ishtar was worshipped.

[03:27:45] Okay?

[03:27:46] And that kind of matters later because that district, like, not only was Uruk awesome,

[03:27:51] the city as a whole, but this district in particular was where shit began.

[03:27:56] Okay.

[03:27:57] Like, the magic point.

[03:27:59] Where shit began.

[03:27:59] Like, smart shit.

[03:28:01] Like.

[03:28:03] Smart shit.

[03:28:04] I have the best brain.

[03:28:05] I know all the words.

[03:28:06] Okay.

[03:28:07] All right.

[03:28:07] All right.

[03:28:08] Just hang with me.

[03:28:08] I'll get there.

[03:28:09] Yeah, I'm hanging.

[03:28:10] I'm hanging.

[03:28:10] Oh, it's the next sentence.

[03:28:11] Look at that.

[03:28:12] Hey.

[03:28:12] The Inanna, Iana, I keep saying Inanna because her name is Inanna, but the district is Ianna.

[03:28:19] Ah, yeah.

[03:28:20] That's not confusing at all.

[03:28:21] Ishtar.

[03:28:22] Let's just change everything to Ishtar.

[03:28:24] Okay?

[03:28:25] So, the Ishtar district of Uruk is historically significant as both writing and monumental public

[03:28:34] architecture because those emerged from that exact place.

[03:28:39] Okay.

[03:28:39] The combination of these two developments places Ianna as arguably the first true city and

[03:28:47] civilization in human history.

[03:28:50] I see.

[03:28:51] And it contains the earliest examples of writing.

[03:28:55] Do we know what civilization this was?

[03:28:58] Was this like the Sumerians or what was this?

[03:29:00] Mm-hmm.

[03:29:00] It was?

[03:29:01] Yeah.

[03:29:01] Okay.

[03:29:02] Great.

[03:29:02] Okay.

[03:29:03] Yeah.

[03:29:03] You're sure about that?

[03:29:04] Yeah, because there were all these different periods.

[03:29:07] Okay.

[03:29:08] They came and, yeah.

[03:29:11] You know what?

[03:29:12] I'm going to take that back.

[03:29:12] If it wasn't them, it was the Arcadians.

[03:29:14] Okay.

[03:29:15] Okay?

[03:29:15] It was either the Sumerians or the Arcadians.

[03:29:18] And I forget what order they came in.

[03:29:19] Okay.

[03:29:20] I knew it at one time this morning.

[03:29:22] Got it.

[03:29:23] And then I just forgot.

[03:29:24] But anyway, that district though, Ishtar's little district in Urich.

[03:29:29] Yeah.

[03:29:29] Okay?

[03:29:29] So, like, why am I talking about this city again?

[03:29:32] Wait, who cares about this city?

[03:29:34] What?

[03:29:34] Sure.

[03:29:34] So, remember, we're like, Gilgamesh came around to this city and he's like, this is mine now.

[03:29:40] Okay.

[03:29:41] Okay?

[03:29:41] I'm a king now.

[03:29:42] What's up?

[03:29:43] Yeah.

[03:29:44] And it's a good city.

[03:29:45] Because he killed people.

[03:29:46] Yeah.

[03:29:46] Right.

[03:29:47] I mean, that's my guess.

[03:29:47] I don't know why he was made king.

[03:29:49] I mean, it usually had to do with killing people.

[03:29:50] Right.

[03:29:51] And I'm like, yeah, he leveled up.

[03:29:53] Sure.

[03:29:53] Yeah.

[03:29:54] So, okay.

[03:29:54] So, he's king of Urich.

[03:29:55] Whatever.

[03:29:56] Okay.

[03:29:56] Okay?

[03:29:57] Yeah.

[03:29:57] So, okay.

[03:29:58] We're done with city.

[03:29:59] Back to dude.

[03:29:59] Okay?

[03:30:00] Yeah.

[03:30:00] Dude.

[03:30:01] Who was he?

[03:30:02] Who was Gilgamesh?

[03:30:03] I don't know.

[03:30:03] Who was he?

[03:30:04] Right?

[03:30:04] Okay.

[03:30:05] We're going to get to the God stories in a bit.

[03:30:07] But for now, let's just talk about the human king guy.

[03:30:10] Okay.

[03:30:10] Okay?

[03:30:11] Like I said, Gilgamesh was supposedly the king of Urich.

[03:30:14] And that's why we just talked about that city.

[03:30:15] Right.

[03:30:16] Okay?

[03:30:16] Okay.

[03:30:17] This all took place somewhere around 2800 to 2500 BCE.

[03:30:23] Okay.

[03:30:23] Okay?

[03:30:24] Yeah.

[03:30:24] That's a long fucking time ago.

[03:30:26] Yeah.

[03:30:26] He's thought to have reigned for a real quick minute.

[03:30:29] Just a casual 126 years according to later scribes.

[03:30:34] That sounds a little unrealistic.

[03:30:36] I'm going to say you're right.

[03:30:38] But remember, like, way back before the flood, everybody lived several hundred years.

[03:30:46] Yeah.

[03:30:47] I remember the Bible says that.

[03:30:49] Right.

[03:30:49] Well, they...

[03:30:50] I don't actually believe that.

[03:30:52] They say it too.

[03:30:53] These guys say it too.

[03:30:54] But also...

[03:30:55] Okay.

[03:30:55] No, I'm not saying that I think that that's what happened.

[03:30:58] I'm saying for some reason, those early fucking people were like, we live so many centuries.

[03:31:05] All the best centuries.

[03:31:06] We have the most centuries here.

[03:31:08] I almost feel like the idea of long life was like the precursor to heaven.

[03:31:13] Right?

[03:31:14] You have this fascination with not dying.

[03:31:19] Right.

[03:31:19] And the afterlife.

[03:31:20] For a long time.

[03:31:21] Yeah.

[03:31:21] With extending human life.

[03:31:23] Right?

[03:31:23] And also passing on your line to your firstborn son so that you are living on forever.

[03:31:31] Yeah.

[03:31:32] You know?

[03:31:32] No, I mean, there's so much involved with regard to religion in general about this fear of death

[03:31:38] and what's going to happen to you after you die.

[03:31:40] Yeah.

[03:31:40] And it all comes down to just basically men can't deal.

[03:31:45] I mean, people can't deal.

[03:31:47] Okay, but I wouldn't know because women didn't rule the world over there.

[03:31:51] No, no, no.

[03:31:51] I understand that.

[03:31:52] But I'm saying that death is still a thing that is very bothersome to people across the board.

[03:31:57] Right?

[03:31:58] I mean, I'm not saying I want to fucking die.

[03:31:59] I don't want to die.

[03:32:00] No.

[03:32:01] But like, I don't spend my nights worrying about where am I going to go when I die?

[03:32:06] What if I die tomorrow?

[03:32:07] Oh my God.

[03:32:09] You know, I don't do that.

[03:32:10] But when you are ignorant about what death means, when you are ignorant about the science,

[03:32:16] when you don't know an answer to something, you want to fill it in with something that makes sense to you.

[03:32:23] You have to label it so you can explain it.

[03:32:25] Or that feels good.

[03:32:25] Yeah.

[03:32:26] Yeah.

[03:32:27] So, I mean, that's, you know, that's all.

[03:32:29] Yeah.

[03:32:29] I didn't have much to say.

[03:32:30] Just that.

[03:32:30] No, that's okay.

[03:32:31] So, yeah, he ruled 126 years.

[03:32:34] I mean, lots of scribes said so, so it obviously must be true.

[03:32:37] I read it on the internet.

[03:32:38] I mean, if he lived 126 years, that's like one of the longest lives of like the last, you know, hundreds of years.

[03:32:44] But, okay.

[03:32:46] Like I said, but what do we actually know for realsies?

[03:32:49] Sure.

[03:32:49] Nothing.

[03:32:50] Right.

[03:32:50] Not a whole lot, honestly.

[03:32:52] Mostly just like a messed up boomer type post on MySpace that someone quote tweeted,

[03:32:59] but the guy sharing the post didn't have an avatar, just one of those empty gray eggheads as his profile pic.

[03:33:06] So his account got blocked, but not before one of those SEO crawlers copied a blurry image of the janky screenshot of the retweeted MySpace post.

[03:33:14] And that is what ended up on the SNL.

[03:33:18] I'm sorry, what?

[03:33:19] I was trying to show a chain of like how we know a little bit, but it's all just this blurry image, like game of telephone.

[03:33:29] But I was, you know, using like who even uses MySpace?

[03:33:33] That's how old he is.

[03:33:34] Right.

[03:33:34] Right.

[03:33:35] Yeah.

[03:33:35] I mean, you lost some of our crowd with MySpace because they probably don't even know what the fuck it is.

[03:33:38] Only Bready.

[03:33:42] Okay.

[03:33:42] So anyway, when I said SNL, of course, I meant the aforementioned Sumerian King list.

[03:33:48] All right.

[03:33:48] Yeah.

[03:33:49] Yeah.

[03:33:49] Yeah.

[03:33:49] So I was just being goofy.

[03:33:51] Like it made sense when I wrote it to me.

[03:33:53] I just I thought it was funny.

[03:33:55] It's whatever.

[03:33:55] Sure.

[03:33:56] Yeah.

[03:33:56] If you have to explain it, it's not funny.

[03:33:58] So that was a fail.

[03:33:59] And I accept that.

[03:34:00] I own it.

[03:34:01] Okay.

[03:34:02] So his name pops up there on that list.

[03:34:05] Yeah.

[03:34:06] With this weird mix of fact and fiction that ancient scribes used to keep track of various rulers down the line.

[03:34:13] Okay.

[03:34:13] Okay.

[03:34:14] It lists Gilgamesh as two thirds God and, you know, just one third man.

[03:34:19] Okay.

[03:34:20] Which explains how he was able to rule so long, but not why he couldn't get his online profile shit worked out.

[03:34:27] What?

[03:34:28] I'm just being silly.

[03:34:30] Oh, my God.

[03:34:31] Okay.

[03:34:32] Come on.

[03:34:32] Come with me.

[03:34:33] It's a fun trip.

[03:34:34] No, I'm just I'm trying to make sure that it makes sense to people that are listening.

[03:34:37] That's all.

[03:34:38] Well, I'm just being silly.

[03:34:39] It's just like, you know, wife's inside jokes for the next 20 minutes.

[03:34:42] Whatever.

[03:34:43] Okay.

[03:34:43] So around the time Gilgamesh was probably strutting around Europe, Uric, not Europe, Uric.

[03:34:50] Here's the shit that was happening at that time.

[03:34:52] Okay.

[03:34:52] Okay.

[03:34:52] Egypt was over there building those pyramids.

[03:34:55] Okay.

[03:34:55] Yeah.

[03:34:56] People in China were domesticating silkworms, which meant they were making fancy fabrics.

[03:35:01] And that was a thing.

[03:35:02] Yeah.

[03:35:02] Okay.

[03:35:02] So that was happening.

[03:35:03] Okay.

[03:35:03] Meanwhile, in Europe, folks were like, what's a wheel?

[03:35:07] And chasing after wild boars.

[03:35:09] Womp womp.

[03:35:10] Hmm.

[03:35:10] Okay.

[03:35:11] Yeah.

[03:35:11] That literally was what was happening over there.

[03:35:13] Got it.

[03:35:13] Yeah.

[03:35:14] So the epic of Gilgamesh paints him as this arrogant king who abuses his power, takes off

[03:35:20] the gods, and then goes on an existential road trip to figure out the meaning of life.

[03:35:25] Okay.

[03:35:26] Okay.

[03:35:26] Yeah.

[03:35:26] So that's what his story is about.

[03:35:27] He ticked off the gods, though.

[03:35:29] Yeah.

[03:35:29] That's what I said.

[03:35:30] Even though he's supposedly a god.

[03:35:32] Well, he's not a full god.

[03:35:35] There's two things.

[03:35:35] And the gods get pissed off at each other all the fucking time.

[03:35:38] That's true.

[03:35:38] That's true.

[03:35:38] So, I mean, what does that matter?

[03:35:40] Right.

[03:35:41] Right.

[03:35:41] So, okay.

[03:35:42] Spoiler.

[03:35:42] He does not find the meaning of life or purpose of living or what the fuck ever.

[03:35:46] Mm-hmm.

[03:35:47] But he does get a solid lesson in don't be a dick.

[03:35:50] Got it.

[03:35:51] Okay.

[03:35:52] Something that occurred to me, this wasn't just right now, but something I think would

[03:35:56] be a great video game, right?

[03:35:58] I think that somebody should make, like, a god combat simulator.

[03:36:02] Like a god combat game.

[03:36:04] Like, Mortal Kombat, but only with gods.

[03:36:06] And they have, like, the special god powers that they have.

[03:36:08] Oh, my gosh.

[03:36:09] I think that would be amazing.

[03:36:10] And then, just for shits and giggles, you could put Superman in there with his laser eyes.

[03:36:15] Right, yeah.

[03:36:16] Just for fun.

[03:36:16] I guess.

[03:36:17] Sure.

[03:36:17] Why not?

[03:36:18] Right.

[03:36:18] They're all pretend.

[03:36:19] Yeah.

[03:36:20] That's true.

[03:36:21] You could put Cindy Lou, who made the Grinch's heart grow two sizes that day, you know?

[03:36:26] Yeah, yeah.

[03:36:27] Like, everybody got a magic.

[03:36:28] I guess so.

[03:36:29] Yeah.

[03:36:30] Okay.

[03:36:30] So, was Gilgamesh a real dude?

[03:36:33] Maybe.

[03:36:33] Maybe.

[03:36:34] Maybe.

[03:36:35] Okay.

[03:36:35] Did he live for 126 years and wrestle a giant bull sent by the gods?

[03:36:41] I doubt it.

[03:36:41] Probably not.

[03:36:42] Yeah, I'm guessing no.

[03:36:42] Probably not.

[03:36:43] But, even so, his story still slaps, and it's one of the oldest written epics we've got.

[03:36:49] Okay?

[03:36:51] I did.

[03:36:52] I wrote that.

[03:36:52] You said that.

[03:36:55] That story still slaps.

[03:36:57] I said that.

[03:36:57] I'm sorry.

[03:37:00] I'm okay, really.

[03:37:01] Okay.

[03:37:02] You can go on now.

[03:37:03] And then, did you hear me, though?

[03:37:05] It's one of the oldest written epics we've got.

[03:37:08] Yes.

[03:37:08] And then I go, what?

[03:37:09] But Beowulf, though.

[03:37:10] Sure.

[03:37:10] So, I was like, wait, what?

[03:37:11] Okay.

[03:37:12] So, okay.

[03:37:13] Here's me talking.

[03:37:14] Ready?

[03:37:14] I hear it.

[03:37:14] Okay.

[03:37:15] I always thought that honor goes to Beowulf, but nope.

[03:37:18] I was wrong.

[03:37:19] Beowulf is the baby in this comparison.

[03:37:22] Oh.

[03:37:22] It wasn't even born yet.

[03:37:23] It wasn't even a twinkle.

[03:37:24] Fuck a Beowulf.

[03:37:25] Yeah.

[03:37:26] Right?

[03:37:26] That's right.

[03:37:26] Yeah.

[03:37:27] The epic of Gilgamesh is way older.

[03:37:30] Yeah.

[03:37:30] Okay?

[03:37:30] Okay.

[03:37:31] It was written in Mesopotamia.

[03:37:33] The epic of Gilgamesh, Gilgamesh, Gargamel, dates back to around 2100 BC in its earliest

[03:37:41] versions as Sumerian poems.

[03:37:44] Wow.

[03:37:44] Just pieces.

[03:37:44] Okay?

[03:37:45] Yeah.

[03:37:45] The full version that we know of today, written in Akkadian.

[03:37:50] Oh, I was right then.

[03:37:51] It was the Sumerians.

[03:37:53] Sure.

[03:37:53] Because it was written later in Akkadian.

[03:37:55] Yeah.

[03:37:55] Right.

[03:37:55] Yeah.

[03:37:55] Okay.

[03:37:55] Oh, my gosh.

[03:37:56] That's so amazing.

[03:37:57] I remembered it in the right order, and I doubted myself because I wasn't sure.

[03:38:01] Yeah.

[03:38:02] But, yeah, I remembered it correctly.

[03:38:03] Good job.

[03:38:04] Okay.

[03:38:04] So, the full version that we know of today, and I am saying that the word full is doing

[03:38:09] some heavy lifting there because it's not the full version.

[03:38:12] It's the fullest version that we have because there's pieces missing.

[03:38:16] Sure.

[03:38:16] Okay?

[03:38:17] Yeah.

[03:38:17] So, that version was written in Akkadian, don't forget, and that one was pieced together

[03:38:24] around 1200 BCE.

[03:38:26] Okay.

[03:38:26] So, that's more than 4,000 years ago, ancient by any standard.

[03:38:30] Right.

[03:38:30] Yeah.

[03:38:30] Okay?

[03:38:31] So, like, the early, earliest one was 2100, right?

[03:38:35] Yeah.

[03:38:35] And then the one that we have today was 1200.

[03:38:38] Wow.

[03:38:38] Okay?

[03:38:39] Yeah.

[03:38:39] And even both of those are older than Baby Wolf.

[03:38:42] Right.

[03:38:43] Did you hear what I called him?

[03:38:44] Yeah.

[03:38:45] Baby Wolf.

[03:38:45] Yeah.

[03:38:46] Ye olde English epic of Baby Wolf comes from early medieval England and is thought to

[03:38:52] have been composed sometime between 700 to 1000.

[03:38:57] Current era.

[03:38:59] So new.

[03:38:59] I thought it was a BCE, bitch.

[03:39:02] It was just...

[03:39:03] It's current era.

[03:39:03] It's AD.

[03:39:04] It was just on the bestseller list last week.

[03:39:07] Like, reading...

[03:39:08] No, listen.

[03:39:08] Listen, reading the Bible has, like, changed how I think about when things took place in

[03:39:15] history.

[03:39:15] Well, yeah.

[03:39:16] Of course.

[03:39:16] Because I never paid attention to things.

[03:39:19] And I just knew what...

[03:39:20] Beowulf is old.

[03:39:21] It's one of those BCE things, probably.

[03:39:23] Because I knew it was an oral history before it was ever written down.

[03:39:26] And what we know today is Beowulf.

[03:39:28] It's just one version of the Beowulf story.

[03:39:31] But that was essentially being written in a lot of the times when all...

[03:39:33] Like, the prophets that we're learning about right now.

[03:39:35] They're a lot of the time in that...

[03:39:37] Oh, wait.

[03:39:37] No.

[03:39:38] You said 708?

[03:39:39] Current fucking era.

[03:39:40] Oh, shit.

[03:39:40] No, that is really new.

[03:39:41] Yeah.

[03:39:42] That's what I'm saying.

[03:39:42] It's relatively speaking, it's very new.

[03:39:45] It literally was on the bestseller list.

[03:39:47] Because Seamus Heaney did a wonderful translation of it.

[03:39:52] And I love that translation.

[03:39:56] And yeah, it is still on many bestseller lists.

[03:39:58] It's because it's that good.

[03:40:00] That story slaps also.

[03:40:02] Right, right.

[03:40:02] Yeah.

[03:40:03] Okay.

[03:40:03] The manuscript that we have, that we know of, the one that Seamus gave us...

[03:40:09] Sure.

[03:40:09] Um, it was written around 1000 CE.

[03:40:13] Got it.

[03:40:14] Current era.

[03:40:14] Yeah.

[03:40:14] AD.

[03:40:15] Yeah.

[03:40:15] Okay.

[03:40:15] No, I got it.

[03:40:16] I got it.

[03:40:16] I'm just making sure.

[03:40:17] Yeah.

[03:40:17] So, you know, that's only about 1000 to 1300 years ago.

[03:40:21] Right.

[03:40:22] Okay.

[03:40:22] So, practically yesterday compared to Gilgamesh.

[03:40:25] So, Gilgamesh predates Beowulf by a good 3000 years.

[03:40:30] Wow.

[03:40:30] Like, my mind was blown.

[03:40:34] Yeah.

[03:40:34] I mean, if you could have heard the pop, it was like...

[03:40:38] Yeah.

[03:40:39] I believe it.

[03:40:40] I had no idea.

[03:40:42] Did you?

[03:40:43] No, I didn't.

[03:40:44] I thought it was a BCD thing.

[03:40:45] You know what?

[03:40:45] I was never...

[03:40:46] I never really learned a lot about the ancient books.

[03:40:49] Literature.

[03:40:49] Literature.

[03:40:50] Yeah.

[03:40:50] So, I don't know...

[03:40:51] See, I wasn't a history nerd.

[03:40:52] That much about it.

[03:40:53] But I was a literature kind of nerd.

[03:40:55] Yeah.

[03:40:56] Nerd adjacent, I'd say.

[03:40:57] But, like, most of those discussions start, like you said, around Beowulf.

[03:41:00] Right?

[03:41:00] Like, and yes, we all know about Gilgamesh.

[03:41:03] But, like...

[03:41:04] I didn't...

[03:41:04] It's not...

[03:41:05] The time frames, to me, were not, like...

[03:41:08] We spent...

[03:41:09] Something that I knew right off the top of my head.

[03:41:10] We spent a lot of time in literature classes discussing Gil...

[03:41:14] Not Gilgamesh.

[03:41:15] Beowulf.

[03:41:15] Sure.

[03:41:16] And if we don't read the whole thing, we read excerpts of it.

[03:41:19] And we're tested over it.

[03:41:21] And we're supposed to understand all of the history and the things and the stuff and the symbolism.

[03:41:28] And, you know, just...

[03:41:31] I don't know.

[03:41:31] There's so...

[03:41:32] It's great.

[03:41:33] But, like, after we do all that, I'm like, but why not Gilgamesh?

[03:41:37] Right.

[03:41:38] That doesn't make sense.

[03:41:39] But it's because usually when you're reading Beowulf, you're reading it in a British literature class.

[03:41:46] Yeah.

[03:41:47] Yeah.

[03:41:48] Beowulf is the earliest...

[03:41:50] Western culture versus, you know, ancient...

[03:41:52] The rest of the world.

[03:41:53] Middle East culture.

[03:41:54] Yeah.

[03:41:54] Right?

[03:41:54] The Near East.

[03:41:56] Right.

[03:41:56] Or Eastern culture.

[03:41:57] Yeah.

[03:41:57] Yeah.

[03:41:58] So, I mean...

[03:41:59] Yeah.

[03:41:59] England wasn't even a thing yet.

[03:42:01] But Beowulf is the earliest British literature, whatever you want to call it at that time.

[03:42:07] The Anglo-Saxons or what the fuck ever.

[03:42:09] Sure.

[03:42:10] Yeah.

[03:42:10] I don't know.

[03:42:11] I don't know history.

[03:42:12] Okay?

[03:42:12] I'm just being right up front there.

[03:42:14] I don't know shit about shit.

[03:42:15] All right.

[03:42:16] So, let's talk about the epic.

[03:42:17] Okay?

[03:42:18] All right.

[03:42:18] Let's do that.

[03:42:18] Here's the epic of Gargamel in a nutsack.

[03:42:21] Ready?

[03:42:22] In a nutshell.

[03:42:23] Okay.

[03:42:23] Not in a nutshell.

[03:42:25] In a nutsack.

[03:42:26] Because it's Gargamel.

[03:42:27] Of course.

[03:42:28] Okay.

[03:42:28] Gilgamesh the jerk king.

[03:42:30] Ready?

[03:42:31] Yeah.

[03:42:31] Gilgamesh is the king of Yurik and he is just too fucking much.

[03:42:35] Okay?

[03:42:36] Okay.

[03:42:36] He's strong and he's arrogant and he abuses his power doing whatever the fuck he wants.

[03:42:41] He's just walking around fucking with people.

[03:42:43] Yeah.

[03:42:43] Okay?

[03:42:44] Including taking off his own people.

[03:42:46] So, his own people are like, um, excuse me, Sky Daddies.

[03:42:49] Can y'all maybe do something about this douchebag?

[03:42:52] Uh-huh.

[03:42:52] And they like are praying and praying and praying to the gods.

[03:42:55] Yeah.

[03:42:56] Okay.

[03:42:57] Then enters Enkidu.

[03:42:59] Okay?

[03:42:59] Okay.

[03:43:00] So, the gods are like, yeah, we probably should do something about this son of a bitch.

[03:43:03] Got it.

[03:43:03] So, the gods create Enkidu.

[03:43:05] A wild hairy man.

[03:43:08] Hairy man.

[03:43:09] A very, very, very, very scary man.

[03:43:12] Okay.

[03:43:12] When I was in fifth grade, Mr. Walker, he taught both mathematics and history.

[03:43:19] Um, my class only had him for math, not history.

[03:43:22] But, he was teaching this song to the other class.

[03:43:26] And so, we would hear all the kids singing, scary men, hairy men.

[03:43:31] And we wanted to learn it too.

[03:43:33] So, he taught it to us.

[03:43:34] And all these years later, I don't know anything about it except for what I literally just sang.

[03:43:39] Those are all the words I know.

[03:43:41] Okay.

[03:43:41] Okay.

[03:43:42] Thank you, Mr. Walker.

[03:43:43] Yeah.

[03:43:43] Okay?

[03:43:43] Yeah.

[03:43:44] So, the gods created Enkidu.

[03:43:46] A wild hairy man.

[03:43:48] Who's basically Gargamel's equal in strength.

[03:43:51] Okay.

[03:43:51] Okay?

[03:43:52] They're like the same.

[03:43:53] They're like, buddy!

[03:43:55] After a bit of drama, including a wrestling match, they become besties.

[03:43:59] Okay.

[03:43:59] Because they're the same.

[03:44:00] Now, I found a bit about the wrestling match interesting.

[03:44:04] Yeah.

[03:44:04] Right?

[03:44:05] Hi, Jacob.

[03:44:07] In the desert.

[03:44:08] In the desert, wrestling with God.

[03:44:09] Yeah.

[03:44:10] Yeah.

[03:44:10] Interesting.

[03:44:11] I didn't get a really good breakdown of that part.

[03:44:13] I meant to, but I ran out of time.

[03:44:15] Right.

[03:44:15] And they might not have anything to do with each other.

[03:44:18] No, but just that it's like, you know, they had a wrestling match.

[03:44:20] Right.

[03:44:20] And then they became besties.

[03:44:21] Oh.

[03:44:22] It's definitely an interesting...

[03:44:23] Right?

[03:44:24] I mean, because it could have at least sprung the idea of that thing that happened in the Bible.

[03:44:30] Right.

[03:44:30] Because that thing in the Bible was so random and weird, right?

[03:44:33] Right.

[03:44:33] Like, this actually makes sense because it's part of the story.

[03:44:38] They're like, yeah, we need to make somebody strong who can beat Gilgamesh.

[03:44:43] And so Gilgamesh goes out to fight this guy who is his equal.

[03:44:47] And they are fighting literally because everybody's pissed off at Gilgamesh because he's a dick.

[03:44:52] Maybe somebody that was holding one of the original, you know, like things for the Bible.

[03:44:56] The clay tablet.

[03:44:57] Stuffed the bit with Gilgamesh in there by accident.

[03:45:00] Yeah.

[03:45:00] They put it in the wrong envelope.

[03:45:02] And we just ended up with a wrestling match in the Bible.

[03:45:04] Right?

[03:45:04] They stapled the wrong page.

[03:45:05] They were always doing shit like that.

[03:45:06] Could have happened.

[03:45:07] Okay.

[03:45:07] So they're besties now, right?

[03:45:09] Yeah.

[03:45:09] And Kidu and Gilgamesh.

[03:45:13] I stuttered.

[03:45:13] I could not get the word out.

[03:45:15] I apologize.

[03:45:15] Yeah.

[03:45:16] I do that every once in a while.

[03:45:18] Gargamel.

[03:45:19] Think of it as the OG bromance.

[03:45:21] Okay.

[03:45:22] Okay.

[03:45:22] Okay.

[03:45:23] They buds.

[03:45:23] Okay.

[03:45:24] They go on adventures galore.

[03:45:26] Okay.

[03:45:27] Yeah.

[03:45:28] I summed this up because, you know, there's too much.

[03:45:30] Okay.

[03:45:31] The dynamic duo, Batman and Robin, they head off to fight monsters and they make a name

[03:45:36] for themselves.

[03:45:37] Yay.

[03:45:38] They're so cool.

[03:45:39] Right?

[03:45:39] First, they take down this guy named Humbaba and he's the terrifying guardian of the Cedar

[03:45:46] Forest.

[03:45:47] If I have time, I'll get to that later.

[03:45:49] The Cedar Forest might have been like the trees of Lebanon.

[03:45:53] Sure.

[03:45:54] You know what I mean?

[03:45:54] That's what many scholars think.

[03:45:56] Interesting.

[03:45:57] Yeah.

[03:45:58] Okay.

[03:45:58] Yeah.

[03:45:59] So this terrifying giant, he was a giant.

[03:46:03] He was an ogre, like whatever.

[03:46:05] Yeah.

[03:46:06] I'm going to get a little bit more to him in a minute.

[03:46:08] Well, if they were heading, so they would have been heading that way.

[03:46:10] That would have been heading west.

[03:46:13] And they would have been fighting, coming up against maybe the Canaanites or the Babylonians

[03:46:17] or the Egyptians.

[03:46:18] I don't know who was all around exactly during those times.

[03:46:20] Tall people.

[03:46:21] But people that, yeah.

[03:46:22] Right?

[03:46:22] All the tall people.

[03:46:23] They even referred to at one point in the Bible that the Egyptians were giants.

[03:46:26] Yeah.

[03:46:26] So like it could have, I mean, there's any number of things that it could have been.

[03:46:29] Right.

[03:46:29] But not everybody agrees with that take.

[03:46:31] Sure.

[03:46:32] Even though it says it's the fucking Cedar Forest.

[03:46:35] Right.

[03:46:35] Right.

[03:46:36] Which, what is the city known for Cedar all throughout the goddamn Bible?

[03:46:40] Right.

[03:46:40] So, I don't know.

[03:46:41] I'm guessing it's Lebanon.

[03:46:42] I'm not a historian, but if I have to pick one, that's what I'm picking.

[03:46:45] Sure.

[03:46:46] But some people think it's this other city, and I forget which one because who cares, that's

[03:46:50] east.

[03:46:51] Like the exact opposite direction.

[03:46:53] Okay.

[03:46:53] And even at that, I don't have any idea who they were actually fighting.

[03:46:57] No, but I feel comfortable picking sides on this one.

[03:47:00] Do you?

[03:47:00] I do.

[03:47:01] Okay.

[03:47:01] Okay.

[03:47:02] It's kind of like if you take me to a football game, and I don't know anything about either

[03:47:06] of the teams, I'm going to ask you just for some basic stats, because I have to cheer

[03:47:11] for a team.

[03:47:11] I can't just sit there and just watch.

[03:47:13] Sure.

[03:47:13] I don't care enough about football to only watch it for the sport and the art of it.

[03:47:19] Okay.

[03:47:19] I recognize that there are smarts and good plays and stuff.

[03:47:22] So, I'm like, no, I need to pick a team.

[03:47:25] I've got to cheer.

[03:47:26] Right.

[03:47:26] And I've got to go, ah, when they get sacked.

[03:47:30] Right?

[03:47:30] Right.

[03:47:30] So, I'm going to ask you for some basic stats, and you're going to give me some basic stats,

[03:47:35] or I'm going to look them up on my phone now that we have cell phones, and I don't go

[03:47:39] to football games, but this is pretend world.

[03:47:41] And then I'm going to pick a side, and you're going to ask me, why are you choosing that team?

[03:47:46] And I'm going to say, well, the quarterback is cuter, and also this, this, and this.

[03:47:53] Okay.

[03:47:54] Cuteness won't be my only one.

[03:47:55] Right.

[03:47:56] It might also be that I like their cheerleaders.

[03:47:58] Okay.

[03:47:59] Because that sometimes factors in.

[03:48:00] Sure.

[03:48:01] But, also the stats.

[03:48:02] Like, if they're on a losing streak, I'm not picking them.

[03:48:05] Duh.

[03:48:06] Okay.

[03:48:06] Okay.

[03:48:07] Also, if they're kicker, what do you call that guy that comes on the field and his only

[03:48:13] fucking job is to kick it through the goal post?

[03:48:16] He's the kicker, right?

[03:48:17] Yeah.

[03:48:18] Okay.

[03:48:18] I can't stand when they miss.

[03:48:21] Okay.

[03:48:21] On either team.

[03:48:22] I'm like, you have one goddamn job.

[03:48:24] Have you ever tried to kick a field goal?

[03:48:25] I know, because that's not my goddamn job.

[03:48:28] That's his goddamn job.

[03:48:30] It's not easy.

[03:48:30] He has paid millions of dollars to trot his tight little ass out there, do a little ballerina

[03:48:36] dance, and then go, pink.

[03:48:38] Yeah.

[03:48:39] And that's it.

[03:48:39] Yeah.

[03:48:40] That's his whole fucking job.

[03:48:41] And he misses?

[03:48:43] Get the fuck out of here, you piece of shit.

[03:48:47] I'm just saying.

[03:48:48] But I feel the same way when I found out baseball.

[03:48:50] I apologize to any field goal kickers in our midst out there.

[03:49:05] No, listen.

[03:49:06] Okay.

[03:49:07] Probably not millions, because football gets millions.

[03:49:10] But generally speaking, I'm going to guess baseball is not as popular as football.

[03:49:14] We don't really have a Super Bowl that even non-football people stop what they're doing

[03:49:21] and watch the commercials.

[03:49:22] There's, I think, a lot of better players in baseball because of the way they pay the players.

[03:49:27] All right.

[03:49:28] I'll take your word on it.

[03:49:29] I don't know shit about it.

[03:49:30] I'm pretty sure that's correct.

[03:49:31] Well, I was going to say you're paid thousands, but you're paid either thousands or millions,

[03:49:36] and you can't hit for shit.

[03:49:38] I'm just saying.

[03:49:39] And yes, my understanding of these sports is amateurish and childish, and I am fine with

[03:49:47] that because I know how to keep a calendar better than most people, so fuck off.

[03:49:54] Sure.

[03:49:54] Okay.

[03:49:55] So, okay, these besties, they're like...

[03:49:57] For the record, I love baseball.

[03:49:59] You love baseball and football and tennis.

[03:50:01] But baseball specifically, I know it was one of my favorite sports that I played when

[03:50:06] I was growing up.

[03:50:07] You are just a very sporty guy, and it's honestly amazing.

[03:50:10] I don't understand how we're together.

[03:50:13] I am not that girl.

[03:50:15] But, I mean, I was a cheerleader for one semester.

[03:50:19] You were.

[03:50:20] You were.

[03:50:20] Yeah.

[03:50:21] In high school.

[03:50:21] And you ran track.

[03:50:23] And I did run track every year.

[03:50:24] Yeah.

[03:50:24] A varsity track.

[03:50:26] Yeah.

[03:50:26] Yeah.

[03:50:26] And it wasn't bad.

[03:50:28] I could sprint a little bit.

[03:50:29] Yeah.

[03:50:29] Yeah.

[03:50:30] Then I hit the States and realized that, oh, it's like if you take a 10 in Ohio, she is

[03:50:37] not a 10 in California.

[03:50:41] You know what I'm saying?

[03:50:42] Yeah.

[03:50:43] You get me.

[03:50:44] Okay?

[03:50:44] Yeah.

[03:50:44] She's in Ohio 10, but she's in California.

[03:50:47] What is she?

[03:50:49] Right.

[03:50:49] Yeah.

[03:50:49] Six at best, right?

[03:50:52] Maybe.

[03:50:52] Okay.

[03:50:52] I'm being very, like, body judgy.

[03:50:56] But, you know, it's a thing that people can understand what I'm saying.

[03:50:59] All right.

[03:50:59] Sure.

[03:50:59] Whatever.

[03:50:59] Sports.

[03:51:00] Go.

[03:51:00] Okay.

[03:51:01] Okay.

[03:51:01] So, the dynamic duo, Batman and Robin, they head off to fight monsters and make a name

[03:51:05] for themselves.

[03:51:06] Yay!

[03:51:06] They take down that giant guy that we talked about, Mbaba.

[03:51:09] Yeah.

[03:51:09] In the Cedar Forest that's probably in Lebanon, but who the fuck knows?

[03:51:14] Right.

[03:51:15] Then they kill the fucking Bull of Heaven.

[03:51:17] The Bull of Heaven.

[03:51:18] You know, the Bull of Heaven.

[03:51:19] Okay?

[03:51:19] Mm-hmm.

[03:51:20] Now, the Bull of Heaven was sent by the goddess Ishtar, or Inanna, or whatever the fuck her

[03:51:25] name is today.

[03:51:26] Okay.

[03:51:26] After Gilgamesh rejects her.

[03:51:29] She was trying to sit on his dick, and he was like, absolutely not.

[03:51:32] He was, like, slut-shaming her.

[03:51:35] Literally.

[03:51:36] He's like, I know how many guys you've been with.

[03:51:40] You have slept with so many gods.

[03:51:42] Get the fuck off my jock.

[03:51:44] Like, literally, he was so rude to her.

[03:51:46] I saw somebody in our Discord talking that he might have been gay.

[03:51:51] That could have been a thing, too.

[03:51:53] And maybe I'm, you know, I don't want to say that with, like, authority, but, like...

[03:51:57] Well, he hurt her feelings.

[03:51:58] You know.

[03:51:59] She was not expecting...

[03:52:00] Like, maybe a polite, oh, no thanks, would have been okay.

[03:52:03] I don't know.

[03:52:04] I've never turned down a goddess before.

[03:52:06] Right, right.

[03:52:07] But he didn't do that.

[03:52:09] He didn't give her a polite, no thanks.

[03:52:10] He was like, bitch, you are a whore.

[03:52:13] You're a slut.

[03:52:13] Get off me.

[03:52:14] Go away.

[03:52:14] Like, he was just calling her all kinds of names and just, like, he messed her up.

[03:52:19] So she sent the bull of heaven after them.

[03:52:21] Sure.

[03:52:21] She was like, I'll show you.

[03:52:23] I won't kill you myself, but I will make my bull kill you.

[03:52:25] Right, right.

[03:52:26] Which is interesting because, you know, the Minotaur is one of those Greek stories.

[03:52:30] And the Minotaur is nothing but a bull, you know?

[03:52:33] Right, yeah.

[03:52:34] So I'm just saying all these stories have, like, overlap.

[03:52:36] Sure.

[03:52:37] Okay?

[03:52:37] Anyway, he gets ghoul stars, gay or straight, for keeping his dick to himself, though.

[03:52:42] Right?

[03:52:42] Right.

[03:52:42] But, I mean...

[03:52:43] But he was a dick.

[03:52:45] He was...

[03:52:45] I mean, there's no reason to, you know, make her feel bad for sleeping with multiple people.

[03:52:49] No.

[03:52:49] She's sex positive.

[03:52:51] That's fine.

[03:52:52] If a guy sleeps around, nobody gives two shits.

[03:52:54] And moreover, it's probably because, you know, look, if he didn't...

[03:52:58] If he wasn't okay with who he was, he might have been doing that to, you know, just make

[03:53:03] himself feel better about himself.

[03:53:05] Right?

[03:53:05] That's true.

[03:53:06] Yeah.

[03:53:06] Like, that's oftentimes what's the reasoning behind...

[03:53:09] That is true.

[03:53:10] ...those types of insults.

[03:53:11] ...so that that person can feel more empowered over that.

[03:53:15] Morely superior.

[03:53:15] Right, yeah.

[03:53:15] Yeah.

[03:53:16] Yeah.

[03:53:16] Yeah.

[03:53:16] Because if you can put somebody else down lower than you, then you get to, like, feel

[03:53:21] like you're higher that day.

[03:53:23] Yeah.

[03:53:23] Instead of just getting to know yourself and be like, you know what?

[03:53:26] It is okay to be a slut and it's okay to be gay and it's okay to be a gay slut.

[03:53:31] And, you know, just...

[03:53:33] It's okay to not be either of those things.

[03:53:35] It's okay to just be.

[03:53:36] Just be.

[03:53:37] Just don't hurt people.

[03:53:38] Right, right.

[03:53:39] Consent.

[03:53:40] Informed consent always.

[03:53:42] Right.

[03:53:42] All right.

[03:53:43] So, they have this bull coming after them now.

[03:53:47] They're like, oh, fuck me.

[03:53:49] Right?

[03:53:49] So, tragedy strikes.

[03:53:51] Because, you know, Ishtar sent this bull after them.

[03:53:54] Okay.

[03:53:54] All right.

[03:53:54] Okay.

[03:53:55] The gods are not happy about the bull thing because...

[03:53:59] Because it was the bull of heaven.

[03:54:01] Yeah.

[03:54:01] I mean...

[03:54:02] So, they're like...

[03:54:05] Oh, they killed the bull.

[03:54:06] I missed that part.

[03:54:07] Sorry.

[03:54:08] They killed...

[03:54:08] They being...

[03:54:09] The boys.

[03:54:09] Our boys.

[03:54:10] Gilgamesh and the other...

[03:54:12] Batman and Robin.

[03:54:12] Right.

[03:54:12] Yeah.

[03:54:13] The dynamic duo.

[03:54:14] Got it.

[03:54:14] The besties.

[03:54:15] The bromance.

[03:54:16] Yeah.

[03:54:16] Okay?

[03:54:16] Yeah.

[03:54:17] She's like, well, fuck you.

[03:54:19] I'll send a bull after you.

[03:54:20] I'm sending the bull of heaven.

[03:54:21] And they're like, well, fuck you.

[03:54:22] We killed it.

[03:54:23] Now what?

[03:54:24] Okay.

[03:54:24] Check me out.

[03:54:26] Catch me outside, bitch.

[03:54:27] And then...

[03:54:28] So, the gods were like, I'm sorry, you did what?

[03:54:31] And so, they punished the pair by killing Enkidu.

[03:54:34] You know, the guy they had made to fight Gilgamesh.

[03:54:39] They're like...

[03:54:39] How does that make any fucking sense?

[03:54:40] Because they're like, you're not working out.

[03:54:41] You did not defeat Gilgamesh.

[03:54:43] Oh, they became friends.

[03:54:44] That was the guy...

[03:54:45] Yes.

[03:54:45] That was his buddy.

[03:54:46] Yeah.

[03:54:46] Oh.

[03:54:47] So, the guys made this...

[03:54:48] The gods made this guy.

[03:54:50] Okay.

[03:54:51] And they're like, okay, now go take care of Gilgamesh.

[03:54:53] He's getting...

[03:54:54] He's too much of a dick.

[03:54:55] And our people are praying to us.

[03:54:56] Right?

[03:54:57] And so...

[03:54:58] Enkidu, the guy that the gods made, he goes down and he's like, let's fight, bitch.

[03:55:02] And then Gilgamesh...

[03:55:05] Gilgamesh.

[03:55:06] Thank you.

[03:55:07] He's like, yeah, let's go.

[03:55:09] But then they're like, this is fun.

[03:55:12] You want a beer?

[03:55:13] And so then they become besties.

[03:55:14] And so the guy that they created, they then killed.

[03:55:20] Right.

[03:55:20] Yeah.

[03:55:21] I'm just like, what?

[03:55:22] Yeah.

[03:55:22] Yeah.

[03:55:23] They're like, you're not working out.

[03:55:24] You're a problem.

[03:55:25] Sure.

[03:55:25] Gotta go.

[03:55:26] Right.

[03:55:26] So they kill Enkidu.

[03:55:28] And Gilgamesh, he's absolutely fucking wrecked.

[03:55:31] Because that was his bestie or his boyfriend or boys.

[03:55:34] Yeah.

[03:55:34] Right?

[03:55:34] Now that I think about it, like, I'm so scared.

[03:55:36] I'm very literal.

[03:55:38] I just took it as base value.

[03:55:40] Sure.

[03:55:40] No, they were lovers.

[03:55:41] Oh, my God.

[03:55:42] Possibly.

[03:55:43] No, I love that idea.

[03:55:45] Right.

[03:55:45] But we're trying to be fair here and say that, you know, it doesn't specifically state that.

[03:55:51] No, it doesn't.

[03:55:51] But it's my headcanon now.

[03:55:53] Right.

[03:55:54] I'm sure there are a lot of indicators probably.

[03:55:56] Oh, I love it.

[03:55:57] I need to learn more about this theory.

[03:55:59] Oh, I hope they're gay.

[03:56:00] Because, but maybe not, because then his lover died.

[03:56:05] And that's tragic.

[03:56:06] Oh, God.

[03:56:07] I don't know what to feel here.

[03:56:08] I don't know.

[03:56:08] All right.

[03:56:09] Anyway.

[03:56:09] It was like 4,000 years ago, so.

[03:56:10] I know.

[03:56:11] Gilgamesh is, he's really tore up from the floor up.

[03:56:13] Yeah.

[03:56:14] Okay.

[03:56:14] He can't do it.

[03:56:15] Right.

[03:56:15] He's spiraling into a full-blown existential crisis about death and mortality.

[03:56:20] He's like, wait, people can die?

[03:56:22] The gods made this guy.

[03:56:23] Wait, I'm two-thirds God.

[03:56:25] If he can die, can I die?

[03:56:26] Oh, fuck.

[03:56:27] Yeah.

[03:56:28] Okay.

[03:56:28] So he's like, he's mourning his bestie or his lover or both.

[03:56:32] And he's like, everybody's mad at me.

[03:56:35] Come on.

[03:56:35] I can't.

[03:56:36] This is just too many things.

[03:56:38] And so he goes on this quest for immortality.

[03:56:41] Okay.

[03:56:42] He's like, fuck it.

[03:56:43] Yeah.

[03:56:43] He decides, I'm going to live forever.

[03:56:45] How about that?

[03:56:46] Okay.

[03:56:46] All right.

[03:56:46] He sets out to find this guy, Utnapishtim.

[03:56:50] Okay.

[03:56:51] Okay.

[03:56:51] We're going to get to him in a minute because this source that I was getting this from,

[03:56:55] they're like, you know, the guy who survived the God's flood.

[03:56:58] And I'm like, no, because I haven't read that yet.

[03:57:00] What the fuck are you talking about?

[03:57:01] So we're going to talk about that in a minute.

[03:57:03] Okay.

[03:57:04] All right.

[03:57:04] So Utnapishtim, he had survived some flood.

[03:57:11] Okay.

[03:57:11] All right.

[03:57:12] And Utnapishtim, he got immortality as a reward for surviving.

[03:57:17] Got it.

[03:57:18] Like, he made it.

[03:57:18] Yay.

[03:57:19] Yay.

[03:57:19] Maybe he was the giant that was like living on the side of the arc.

[03:57:23] No, just kidding.

[03:57:23] He wasn't.

[03:57:24] Anyway, after a really long journey, including battling fucking scorpions.

[03:57:29] Damn.

[03:57:30] And crossing the boom, boom, boom.

[03:57:32] Waters of death.

[03:57:34] Waters of death?

[03:57:35] Yeah.

[03:57:35] Like waters of death.

[03:57:37] Like capital waters, capital death.

[03:57:39] Like, was it like the river Styx?

[03:57:41] I wonder.

[03:57:42] I don't know.

[03:57:43] Like, I didn't have time.

[03:57:44] There was so much.

[03:57:45] There was so much.

[03:57:46] I didn't have time.

[03:57:47] Right, right.

[03:57:48] I want to know, though.

[03:57:49] Yeah.

[03:57:50] You know, we may have to come back to Kevin sometime.

[03:57:52] No, I'm sure there's a lot here, you know.

[03:57:54] I called him Kevin just now.

[03:57:55] Yeah, I was like, what did you just say?

[03:57:56] Because it's time.

[03:57:57] We need to talk about Kevin.

[03:57:59] And I said we need to talk about.

[03:58:00] You've never heard we need to talk about Kevin?

[03:58:03] What are you talking about?

[03:58:05] Okay.

[03:58:06] I'm going to carry on.

[03:58:07] Somebody in the live chat.

[03:58:09] No, you need to figure it out.

[03:58:11] Yeah.

[03:58:12] And then you will read the answer when it pops up in our live chat.

[03:58:15] People should come to our live discords on Wednesdays at 10 p.m.

[03:58:19] to get this kind of information.

[03:58:21] But husband is going to read and somebody's got the answer.

[03:58:25] Okay.

[03:58:25] Anyway, I'm going to carry on while you wait for somebody to give you that information.

[03:58:30] Oh, right.

[03:58:30] We need to talk about Kevin.

[03:58:32] What is that from?

[03:58:33] Got it.

[03:58:33] Yeah.

[03:58:34] Anyway, we are talking about Gilgamesh.

[03:58:36] Okay.

[03:58:37] So he crosses the waters of death and he meets Napishtam.

[03:58:42] Okay.

[03:58:43] Okay.

[03:58:43] The guy who survived.

[03:58:45] Is nobody answering you?

[03:58:46] Nope.

[03:58:47] Oh, that's sad.

[03:58:48] Okay.

[03:58:48] Give me a minute and then I will get to that because we're almost at the end of Gilgamesh's

[03:58:52] epic.

[03:58:53] Okay.

[03:58:53] Okay.

[03:58:54] So Napishtam, the guy who survived the flood, he tells Gilgamesh,

[03:59:00] Oh, sorry, my dude.

[03:59:01] Immortality is not for you.

[03:59:03] I know you fought a lot of things.

[03:59:04] You came all this way.

[03:59:05] But I do have like a, you know, second place prize instead.

[03:59:10] Here's a plant that'll make you young again.

[03:59:12] So he gives them like some algae mask or something.

[03:59:15] I don't know.

[03:59:16] Or he gives them like a map.

[03:59:18] He has to like tie rocks to his boots so that he stays under the water so that he can

[03:59:23] like go down and get this magic plant.

[03:59:25] Okay.

[03:59:25] Okay.

[03:59:26] But then on his way home, a fucking snake steals the plant.

[03:59:30] Oh, damn.

[03:59:31] You know them snakes?

[03:59:32] It's always stealing those plants from you.

[03:59:34] Yeah.

[03:59:34] And then it, as soon as it stole the plant from him, like what is, what did he say that

[03:59:39] this thing do?

[03:59:40] It makes you young again.

[03:59:41] So the second the snake steals the rock, he sheds his skin because he's young again.

[03:59:45] Oh, and that's why snakes shed their skin.

[03:59:47] He's done.

[03:59:49] He ran off with it.

[03:59:50] Got it.

[03:59:50] I guess snakes don't run.

[03:59:51] He shimmied off with it.

[03:59:53] Right.

[03:59:53] Okay.

[03:59:53] Yeah.

[03:59:54] And Gilgamesh learns that he can't cheat death.

[03:59:56] Okay.

[03:59:57] Okay.

[03:59:57] So then he returns to Yurik, his beautiful little snake.