Did you know God is a bit of a gatekeeper?
In this episode, we dive into Ezekiel chapter 44 and explore the divine pettiness behind God's closed-door policy at the temple's east gate. Find out who the lucky "prince" is that gets exclusive access and why everyone else gets the cold shoulder.
In this snarky recap of Ezekiel chapter 44, we dissect the divine drama surrounding the temple's gates, the Levites' demotion due to their idol-worshipping tendencies, and the rise of the Zadokites, the new chosen priests with their exclusive linen wardrobe and no-sweat policy. Get ready for a wild ride through religious regulations, power struggles, and God's questionable fashion choices.
Don't miss our next episode where we continue our journey through Ezekiel with chapter 45! Subscribe to our podcast and join us on Q&A Saturday where we'll unravel the mystery of Zadok and address all your burning questions.
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Ezekiel Chapter 44
===
Wife: Do you know where the hell we're at and where the hell we ought to be
Husband: well We are a bit behind we we didn't get an episode out today when we wanted to
Wife: yeah That was my
Husband: so we'll be catching
up in the next day or so, but we'll get back on track here But we read Ezekiel chapter 43 last time
Wife: we did,
Husband: and we were still in the process of building the fucking temple.
It doesn't exist or never has existed. And maybe we never will exist.
Wife: Yes.
Husband: That Ezekiel saw this golden man and God build.
Wife: Oh, easy Kyle. You're such a silly, silly donkey.
Husband: , and, oh yeah. And. God showed his glory to Ezekiel.
Wife: Yeah he did.
Husband: I think that was about it. I think that God brought Ezekiel into the inner temple somehow in this, in this dream thing.
Which was another dream within a dream, so we went all like, Inception ish on it.
Wife: Dream
within a dream of God.
Husband: Beyond
that, it was kind of unremarkable, because we're still building the fucking temple and God was like, yay, we're going to build this thing that we didn't build, so hey, here we are. So that was Ezekiel chapter 43.
Wife: Sure as fuck was,
Husband: which means that today we're getting into
Wife: Ezekiel Chapter 44.
Husband: All right, let's do this.
Wife: Okie dokie.
All right, we are hopping into Ezekiel chapter 44.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: Or as I affectionately like to call him. Easy Kyle,
Husband: right?
Wife: Big ek.
Husband: Yep. Yep.
Wife: Right. And just as a reminder. The final section of Ezekiel, , which covers chapters 40 through 48 are often referred to as the Torah of Ezekiel,
Husband: right?
Wife: Because it's all about that Torah stuff of building a temple and measurements and very Levitical.
Husband: Yeah. Yeah. definitely
Wife: So, um, also we're starting in the middle of Paragraph basically,
Husband: right?
Wife: , we were talking as you said about God's glory coming to Ezekiel's temple Yeah, so we're still in the middle of that.
Husband: Okay. All right,
Wife: so it just starts as it normally does then Yeah,
Husband: yeah
Wife: the man, you know the golden man,
Husband: right?
Wife: Mm hmm brought me back to the outer gate of the sanctuary the one facing east, of course, and it was shut The Lord said to me this fucking gate is to remain shut Okay, it must not be opened. No one may enter through it asshole It is to remain fucking shut because the Lord the God of Israel has entered through it
Husband: Oh,
Wife: and y'all do not get to walk where he walked y'all do not get to do that
Husband: So if if he entered other gates, he could essentially shut down the entire
city
Wife: He could shut down the whole fucking place.
Husband: Okay
Wife: Yeah, yeah, the prince himself. And again, usually prince means king. They just use the term interchangeably somehow.
Husband: Well, in Ezekiel anyway.
Wife: Yeah. Yeah. Um, the prince himself is the only one who may sit inside the gate to eat in the presence of the Lord. Okay.
Husband: Why
does the, the prince have a special, why wouldn't it be a prophet?
Why wouldn't it be, I don't understand that. That doesn't make sense
Wife: because he's close to God.
Husband: Right, but the kings of past, who have also been sort of close to God, I guess.
Wife: I don't want to hear your shit.
Husband: They
always had to talk through a prophet.
Wife: You stop.
Husband: I'm just saying.
Wife: You
stop
right now.
Husband: They
Wife: The golden man is speaking.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: You stop.
Husband: All right.
Wife: He said, the gate is fucking closed.
Husband: Plus I didn't think God even liked the kings. I thought that was like a bad idea.
Wife: This
king is different because Ezekiel told me so. I don't know what to tell you.
Husband: I'm assuming this King, the way I'm sure this is one of those things that the Christians interpret as Jesus, though.
Wife: I don't fucking know.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: I'm just telling you what it says.
Husband: All
right. All right. Yep.
Wife: Continuing with the golden man's words.
Husband: Sure.
Wife: He. The king prince is to enter by way of the portico of the gateway and go out the same way. So he can meet up with the Lord, but he can't come in through the same door.
Nobody can come in that door on the east.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: Then, the man brought me by way of the north gate to the front of the temple. I looked and saw the glory of the Lord. Woo hoo!
Husband: Wait, just wait. He's going in another side?
Wife: Mm hmm.
Husband: And we're going to be able to enter this one?
Wife: I don't know. I'm getting there.
Husband: I know, but this is bullshit.
Why the hell is he going on all these gates?
Wife: He's
explaining what each of the gates The golden man is taking Ezekiel to each of the gates and explaining them.
Husband: Oh, okay.
Wife: So they start in the east one.
Husband: But he's seen
the glory of God in the northern gate though. Isn't that what it just said?
Wife: Look,
would you just let me read the fucking Have I heard it already?
I can't tell you. I haven't read it yet.
Husband: All right, I
thought that's what it said.
All right.
Wife: Then, The man, the golden man brought me by way of the north gate to the front of the temple. So we walked in through the north gate. Now we're in the front of the temple. Okay.
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: I looked and I saw the glory of the Lord fill in the temple of the Lord and I fell face down.
Husband: Oh,
Wife: okay.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: So no,
God did not enter that
Husband: way. He just was there. Yeah.
Wife: Okay. I came in through the north gate and then when I got inside, I was like, Oh shit, it's God.
Husband: Dude essentially shut down that room.
Wife: The Lord said to me, son of man,
Husband: you mere human.
Wife: You
a fucking worm. Look carefully, listen closely and give attention to everything I tell you concerning all the regulations and instructions regarding the temple of the Lord.
Give attention to the entrance to the temple and all The exits of the sanctuary.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: There's many.
Husband: Yeah.
Right. East, North, South, West, whatever.
Wife: That's four. Right?
Husband: Right.
Wife: I mean, that's a lot.
Husband: Right.
Wife: Say to rebellious Israel, we're going to talk about some gates and I need you to tell Israel about these fucking gates, okay?
Husband: Yeah,
the rebellious ones that he's going to make. Better.
Wife: Yeah,
Husband: but they're still called rebellious.
Wife: Tell those motherfucking assholes that I totally chosen love that I'm so mad at that. I'm going to bring back home because they're my people,
Husband: right?
Wife: Yeah. Those guys.
Husband: Yep.
Wife: This is what the sovereign Lord says.
Enough of your detestable practices, people of Israel, exclamation point.
Husband: Here we go.
Wife: Motherfuckers, in addition to all your other detestable fuckin practices, you brought foreigners uncircumcised in heart and flesh into my fuckin sanctuary.
Husband: Damn.
Wife: Desecrating my temple while you offered me food, fat, and blood, and you broke my covenant.
Instead of carrying out your duty in regard to my holy things you put others in charge of my fucking sanctuary Okay,
Husband: okay.
Wife: I'm really pissed
Husband: but I but I thought by the time we so I get it Ezekiel is gonna go back After this vision and tell the people that are in exile. Hey y'all fucking suck. God said so
Wife: yeah
But
also he loves you so much and he's gonna bring you home.
Husband: Right, but we already covered this, right? Like God is going to fix them.
Wife: Yeah,
Husband: and then bring them back. So what does it fuck, like it doesn't really, at this point everything's kind of moot, isn't it? Like it doesn't really matter because God's supposed to like
Wife: Right. But God really, really loves to like denigrate his people.
Right. He's a shitty, petty little bitch.
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: And he just loves cussing it up.
Husband: But I feel like this is just wishful thinking. I mean, I don't even feel like it. This is wishful thinking from a prophet.
Wife: Mm
hmm.
Husband: Prophet is, I'm using that term loosely.
Wife: Mm hmm.
Husband: And it's just him, you know, fantasizing about this God that he supposedly sees in his visions.
Wife: Mm
hmm.
Husband: And The actions that he wants his people to take with regard to this God that he believes in
Wife: right,
Husband: right?
Wife: If he believes in them, really,
Husband: what ever
mean I, I would have to think that he does actually believe in this God Based on the crazy shit. I mean like he's writing some crazy shit this is the conspiracy nut That you, that draws diagrams and fucking charts and has like strings attached to corkboards and you know, I mean, that's how I view Ezekiel.
Wife: The guy who
not only believes that, , the NASA landing on the moon was fake, but that Bigfoot factors in somehow and that those all factored into Kennedy's assassination.
Husband: And also Kennedy's going to be come back and be president too.
Wife: Absolutely.
Husband: On top of that. Absolutely.
Wife: In playing the Beatles band,
which
is still
kicking,
Husband: and Elvis will be there too.
Wife: Elvis never died. I don't know if you know this. Him and, , what's his name? If you believe, they put a man on the moon, man on the moon. What is that song?
Husband: That's R. E. M.
Wife: I know, but what is, that song is about a comedian That like, he joked around so much that he made people believe that he was dead multiple times.
So like, when he actually died, everybody was like, no he didn't.
Husband: Oh,
I didn't know that, actually.
Wife: Yeah, , there's a whole movie about it.
Husband: I'm sure you're, I kind of vaguely remember.
Wife: And
the
movie was called like, The Man in the
Husband: I actually remember
the movie, but I, I mean, I don't think I ever saw it, but I do remember that there was a movie about it.
And I, but I, I never put it all together. So, yeah, I didn't realize that that's what that was.
Wife: Okay. Yeah. So that conspiracy theory to Elvis and that guy whose name I just can't fucking recall.
Husband: Sure. Sure.
Wife: Are kicking it together somewhere.
Husband: Got it.
Wife: Yeah. Okay. Anyways. Yeah. So this is what the sovereign lord says.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: No foreigner uncircumcised in heart and flesh is to enter my fucking sanctuary. Not even the foreigners who live among the Israelites.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: Okay. Stay out. Occupado bitches.
Husband: I guess.
Wife: The Levites who went far from me when Israel went astray and who wandered from me after their idols Must bear the consequences of their sin
Husband: even though he's gonna fix them.
Wife: No. No, we're not there yet.
Husband: No, I know
I know I'm just saying
Wife: we back the conversation up again.
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: Yeah.
Husband: No, we're back to hating his own people again. Yeah.
Wife: Yes
Husband: Yeah,
Wife: they may serve in my sanctuary having charge of the gates of the temple and serving in it They may slaughter the burnt offerings and sacrifices for the people and stand before the people and serve them but Because they serve them in the presence of their idols and made the people of israel fall into sin They they made them do that.
Husband: Yeah,
Wife: therefore I have sworn with uplifted hand that they must bear the consequences of their sin
Husband: I feel like
I I
Wife: think declares the sovereign lord.
Husband: Yeah, I I think this is just Ezekiel Maybe like a faction. I don't really know Trying to put a certain group of people into power.
Wife: Yeah.
Husband: Like that's more what this feels like.
Wife: And, and like
trying to put another group down,
Husband: right? Like you
guys suck. I'm promoting these people and these people are my people. So
Wife: this is what's happening.
Husband: Right. And again, this all still goes back to politics. In my opinion,
Wife: it does, it does completely 100%.
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: Um, I have some notes that I'll get into a little bit on our Q and a Saturday.
Husband: I just don't know how people can read this book and not see that it's all a political bullshit game. You know, like that's all this is.
Wife: Yeah, I don't get help. I mean, yeah, I do. They're dumb,
Husband: but I mean, we spend, we spend half this book talking about Kings and prophets , and politics and people that they hate and people that they like and whatever, but it's all about how they feel about this person or that person.
And yes, God is there. But God is there only because , these few prophets tell us that God is there, not because of anything else. There is no, even in the book, there's not really proof of God other than they say so.
Wife: Right.
Husband: It's just,
I don't understand why this is like this solidified thing where this thing is real.
Where this God is real. I don't, it doesn't make any sense to me.
Wife: But if you believed, it would make sense.
Husband: But if I believed in fucking Mickey Mouse, I could believe he's real. It's not gonna make him real. You know?
Wife: But if you believed,
then you would know.
Husband: I, what am I, I don't really know what I'm supposed to know.
Wife: You would know he's real if you believed he was real. I know it's circular logic. I know, I know. They are not to come near to me to serve me as priests or come near any of my holy things or my most holy offerings. So they can work in here, but they need to stay far fucking back.
Husband: You guys are out of that choice.
Cut a meat.
Wife: Yeah. Y'all done.
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: They must bear the shame of their detestable practices. And I We'll appoint them to guard the temple for all the work that is to be done in it. So
Husband: You got, you got
demoted guys.
Wife: They did
like they still get like the quote unquote glory and honor of serving. They're like, we will allow you to work here.
Husband: We've kind of referenced this.
Yeah, we've kind of, we've kind of referenced this before, but this feels like you could apply. These same thoughts to what is happening in the MAGA world and what is happening with regard to like project 2025, you know, with them going to, they're going to replace everybody with this special group of people that worship Donald Trump.
Right?
Wife: Yeah.
Husband: I mean, this feels very much equivalent to that, you know, where he's like, no, you fucks didn't worship hard enough. I'm making these people more. More, more worthy than you. Right. So, I, I, it, this, this is why I see it as politics. This is why I see, I mean, this, these are part of the reasons I see it as bullshit because it just doesn't, doesn't track, doesn't make any godly sense.
Like, there is not, even when we're sitting here talking about a god or not a god or whatever, the things that they use as their proof or their, their, their idea of what a god is, It doesn't actually make sense. It doesn't make any logic.
Wife: None.
Husband: Whatever. It just doesn't make sense. It doesn't work.
Wife: It doesn't work.
Husband: Sorry.
Wife: The math ain't mathin
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: But, continues God.
Husband: Yeah,
sorry.
Wife: The Levitical priests, you know, the ones that we like.
Husband: Yeah, yeah.
Wife: Okay. Who are descendants of Zadok. Zadok. Zadok.
Husband: They're the
cool ones, right?
Wife: Yeah, they're the best.
Husband: Right.
Wife: We
love them. And who guarded my sanctuary when the Israelites went astray from me are to come near to minister before me.
They are to stand before me and suck my dick. I mean, stand before me to offer sacrifices of fat and blood, declares the Sovereign Lord.
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: It doesn't say suck my dick. I just thought that's what it said for a second. Might as well have, though.
Husband: Right. These, these were the, the kiss asses to God.
Wife: Right. You brown nosers.
They alone are to enter my sanctuary. They alone are to come near my table to minister before me and serve as guards. And you know what? I bet they alone are all the fucking pedophiles because that's what usually happens when you get a, Big old giant group of secretive old men.
Husband: I bet they alone also donate a lot to Ezekiel's campaign.
Wife: I bet they did. I bet they did. Yep, yep. When they enter the gates of the inner court, they are to wear linen clothes. They must not wear any woolen garment while ministering at the gates of the inner court. Or inside the temple, they are to wear linen turbans on their heads and linen undergarments around their waists.
may or may not refer to their panties,
Husband: right? They
Wife: must not wear anything that makes them perspire. We do not want us any sweaty,
Husband: God
forbid you have a
fucking flaw in the presence of God.
Wife: Don't be sweating it up on here.
Husband: A flaw that he gave you at that.
Wife: I
know, right? Completely. Um, you know, God. God, that my sweat is your fault,
Husband: right?
Wife: Like what? When they go out into the outer court where the people are, they are to take off the clothes that they have been ministering in and are to leave them in the sacred rooms and put on other clothes so that the people are not consecrated through contact with their garments.
Husband: Oh, damn that just because they wear the garments, I guess because they're in the presence of God, right?
That would mean that
Wife: that makes
the clothing
Husband: the clothes are holy?
Wife: Holy Like so what about like my eyelashes or my fingernails or like my loose hairs?
Husband: If
god is that powerful that he can like make clothes Holy,
Wife: right
Husband: wouldn't he kind of wouldn't there be some like holy dust on the fucking priest themselves?
Wife: That's what i'm saying.
Like when I when I um brush my hair
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: Or like get something in my eye, like I shed hair like crazy and like my eyelashes, you know, they, they just fall out everywhere.
Husband: Sure.
Wife: You
know?
Husband: And you're telling me there was no like lint or anything like that, that like
Wife: Right.
Husband: Stuck to their bodies. So like you, they maybe like inadvertently,
Wife: or how about, how about when you talk and you accidentally gleek or you know, spit when you pop your p's?
Husband: Yeah.
Wife: So, but none of that, huh? I guess not your clothes,
Husband: right?
Wife: That's rather, um, picky and random, random and ritualistic. They must not shave their heads or let their hair grow long.
Husband: So you got to keep it just so
Wife: you have to find that exact spot
Husband: Maybe like
a
buzz cut.
Wife: Yeah, but they are to keep the hair of their heads trimmed.
Husband: Okay. All right.
Wife: You got a length. I mean, you built a fucking temple and you gave me all those measurements. You don't. Want to tell me what the exact length of trimmed is
Husband: apparently he's got a look that he's going for. I don't know.
Wife: No
priest is to drink wine. When he enters the inner court, they must not marry widows or divorced women.
Because you know, women suck, but if you got to marry a woman, it's got to be exactly a perfect woman.
Husband: Sure.
Wife: I mean, in so far as a woman can be perfect, because we all know what pieces of shit the people that have vaginas are. They may marry only virgins of Israelite descent. Or widows of priests.
Husband: I see, okay.
Wife: Wait, I just thought it said no widows or divorced women.
Husband: Well, maybe there's an exception for widows of priests.
Wife: Okay.
Husband: I don't know.
Wife: I guess. But they have to be virgins or widows of priests.
Husband: Got it. Okay,
Wife: that is so grotesque
Husband: It is kind of
Wife: they are to teach my people the difference between the holy and the common And show them how to distinguish between the unclean and the clean
Husband: Okay, so we're back again to levitical laws
Wife: Very
levitical,
Husband: right?
Wife: This is like, um, this is like radical
Husband: Yeah, no, and that's how that's kind of how
i'm viewing Ezekiel is that he's kind of a bit of a radical with regard to These laws that he's trying to re implement.
Wife: Yeah,
Husband: not re implement not that they necessarily disappeared,
Wife: right?
Husband: But they definitely haven't been mentioned in a long long time,
Wife: right?
Husband: Not not in any real sense.
Wife: No, he's like hardcore
Husband: Yeah
Wife: in any dispute the priests are to serve as judges and decide it according to my Ordinances my god. Yeah, right. Although really Ezekiel They are to keep my laws and my decrees for all my appointed festivals And they are to keep my Sabbaths fucking holy.
Husband: Okay,
Wife: you better take that Sunday off,
Husband: right? or Saturday
Wife: yeah, Saturday,
Husband: right
Wife: a priest must not defile himself by going near a dead person, you know No dead people however, if the dead person was his father or mother son or daughter brother or Unmarried sister
Husband: then it's okay,
Wife: then he may defile himself
Husband: Well, that's that's nice of God to allow that I guess
Wife: I'll
let you defile yourself,
Husband: right
Wife: after he is cleansed He must wait seven days You
Husband: Hmm.
Wife: I mean you did defile yourself by being around the body of somebody that you love,
Husband: right? Yeah, it's how shameful of you.
Wife: I love that your sister has to be unmarried once she's married. Fuck that bitch She is I don't love her no more. She ain't part of this house,
Husband: right? Right
Wife: She's over there.
Husband: Yeah
Wife: On the day he goes into the inner court of the sanctuary to minister in the sanctuary, he is to offer a sin offering for himself, declares the Sovereign Lord.
I am to be the only inheritance the priests have. You are to give them no possession in Israel. I Will be their possession.
Husband: Okay, so these are like monks basically. Yes, except for that. They can marry Virgins and widows of priests.
Wife: Yes.
Husband: Okay.
Wife: They're like the the happiest life of all monks They will eat the grain offerings the sin offerings and the guilt offerings lucky for them
Husband: Doesn't
sound
like they're suffering too.
Wife: Yeah And everything in Israel devoted to the Lord will belong to them.
Husband: Oh, so they're gonna have plenty of possessions. It's just The Lord's possessions,
Wife: right?
Husband: Okay.
All right,
Wife: the best of all the first fruits and of all your special gifts will belong to the priests. You are to give them the first portion of your ground meal so that a blessing may rest on your household.
The priest must not eat anything, whether bird or animal found dead or turn torn by wild animals. The end.
Husband: Okay. Well, it sounds like a lot of ritual bullshit. To get riches for people that he's putting in power or attempting to put in power and It it sounds all very, um How do you say it? Uh, it sounds very Magnanimous Because because he's like they don't have any possessions, but they have all the possessions,
Wife: right?
Husband: You know, it's like Wait a second. Wait a second. You said they don't have any possessions, but then you just said that they get the Choicest things of everything
Wife: right
Husband: so Technically they do have possessions
Wife: right
Husband: and
Wife: they just
have to wink as they say they have nothing
Husband: right
and and yes They can't keep it after they die, but I bet there were exceptions made in the places of like Widows and things like that.
Wife: Yeah,
Husband: they
didn't just like that month. They didn't just leave him kick him to the curb I guarantee it
Wife: right,
Husband: you know,
Wife: yeah,
Husband: whatever. It's
Wife: this is so sick
Husband: Yeah, and
I bet I bet even even though those possessions weren't theirs I bet they were able to use those funds to help their kids and stuff.
Wife: Uh huh
Husband: I'm just you know,
Wife: yep,
Husband: cuz God wanted them to or something
Wife: because they were descendants of Zadok
Husband: Yeah,
and that's all that really matters is that you're a descendant of who the fuck is a Zadok I don't
Wife: even know
Husband: I don't give a fuck
about a Zadok What is a Zadok?
I don't Zadok?
Wife: We briefly talked about him in the past and I just don't remember, so we're gonna talk about him in our Q& A.
Husband: Yeah,
I just, it bothers me. I'm like, who is this guy and why do we give a fuck?
Wife: He was one of the descendants of either Aaron or Aaron's son. I don't remember Aaron being Moses's brother.
Husband: Got it. Whatever.
Wife: Yeah.
Husband: All right. Well, that was Great. Yeah, whatever. That was something. So that was Ezekiel chapter 44
Wife: sure as fuck was
Husband: which means that we will be back tomorrow with
Wife: Ezekiel chapter 45
Husband: and then we'll probably be doing another episode also the same day. Hopefully which will be episode 46
Wife: no, which will be our Q& A Saturday
Husband: yeah,
Wife: cuz we're a day behind we'll have to do them both back to back and it'll be fine.
Husband: Yes That's what I meant. I was confused as to what day it was even. So I apologize.
Wife: Well,
you did just start a new job recently.
Husband: It's
kind of thrown me for a little bit of a loop here in the last couple of days. So
Wife: yeah,
Husband: I'll be back on track here shortly. I think we're actually going to change up kind of how we record our podcasts, which it'll be, it'll be interesting.
So
Wife: be able to stay on track a little better.
Husband: I think so too. So
see how that all goes. Anyway,
Wife: just stay tuned.
Husband: Thanks
for hanging with us guys. We'll see you next time.
Wife: Yep. Bye.