Jonah Chapter 1: Bible Study by Atheists

[00:00:00] Welcome to Sacrilegious Discourse.

[00:00:01] For this is what the Sovereign Lord says!

[00:00:03] Why do you need prophets to tell people who you are and what you want?

[00:00:07] If you can justify everything that the God of the Bible has done, then you can justify any of your behavior.

[00:00:14] A lot of this mentality is trickling into what is now mainstream right-wing Christianity.

[00:00:21] I am capable of empathy greater than this God of the Bible.

[00:00:26] This is a Bible that they tell kids.

[00:00:29] This is the good Lord.

[00:00:31] This is the good book.

[00:00:32] He is fantasizing about murder.

[00:00:36] Mass murder.

[00:00:37] Head over to SacrilegiousDiscourse.com right now to find out how to leave us a review or support us on Patreon.

[00:00:48] Wife!

[00:00:49] Do you know what we're doing today?

[00:00:51] Well, we're starting a new book.

[00:00:54] And we're starting a little late and I have to blame myself a little bit.

[00:00:58] I blame your brother.

[00:00:59] I blame your brother.

[00:00:59] Under the weather a bit.

[00:01:00] I blame your brother's kids.

[00:01:01] Right, yeah, that's part of it.

[00:01:03] So if you hear me sniffling throughout this one, that's partly why yesterday I just was too tired to even function.

[00:01:12] But I'm coming back. I'm here.

[00:01:13] Your brother and his kids are lovely.

[00:01:16] They are.

[00:01:16] But they always get one of us sick.

[00:01:18] It's usually me.

[00:01:19] So the fact that this time it's husband.

[00:01:21] Right, yeah.

[00:01:22] Maybe says something.

[00:01:23] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:01:24] So what are we hopping into with this new book?

[00:01:28] We're starting Jonah.

[00:01:30] We are.

[00:01:31] I hear whales.

[00:01:33] Maybe.

[00:01:34] Not really, but maybe.

[00:01:35] Kind of, yes.

[00:01:36] Got it.

[00:01:37] Yeah.

[00:01:37] Okay, that's specific.

[00:01:39] And okay.

[00:01:40] So are you ready to get started on this?

[00:01:43] Oh, I am.

[00:01:44] All right.

[00:01:44] I'm kind of enthusiastic about it too.

[00:01:46] Oh, well, that's good.

[00:01:48] That's a change.

[00:01:49] Yeah, let's do this.

[00:01:49] Okie dokie.

[00:01:56] All right.

[00:01:57] Are you ready to hop into Jonah?

[00:01:58] I am.

[00:01:59] Okay.

[00:02:00] Before we start chapter one, there's some things that I got to say.

[00:02:03] Okay.

[00:02:04] Okay.

[00:02:04] First of all, there's only four chapters in this book.

[00:02:07] Oh, really?

[00:02:08] Yeah.

[00:02:08] Super short.

[00:02:10] Dang.

[00:02:10] Super short.

[00:02:11] Like we're going to finish it this week.

[00:02:13] Speaking of which, I do want to say real quick, we are going to make up a day midweek

[00:02:17] here.

[00:02:17] So like Thursday.

[00:02:18] Thursday-ish.

[00:02:20] Yeah.

[00:02:20] We will catch up to the regular schedule.

[00:02:22] Because I want to have this book knocked out.

[00:02:24] Yeah, we're going to be done.

[00:02:24] Right.

[00:02:24] Yeah.

[00:02:25] Okay.

[00:02:25] All right.

[00:02:26] So there's that.

[00:02:28] That's the first thing.

[00:02:29] Yeah.

[00:02:29] Here's the second thing.

[00:02:31] Even though there's only four chapters, there is so much fucking info about this dude and

[00:02:37] his dad and where it was and what happened and everybody's thoughts on it.

[00:02:42] And I found it kind of ludicrous, quite frankly.

[00:02:46] Okay.

[00:02:47] How much there was to sift through.

[00:02:49] Well, we're in the minor prophets, right?

[00:02:51] Yes.

[00:02:52] That's what I'm saying.

[00:02:52] He's a fucking minor prophet.

[00:02:54] There's only four goddamn chapters.

[00:02:57] Well, I gotta be honest though.

[00:02:58] He's the only minor prophet that I know anything about.

[00:03:01] Like, it's before hopping into the Bible, right?

[00:03:04] Okay.

[00:03:04] Well, I'll get there in a minute, but do you know how fucking famous he is?

[00:03:08] Pretty famous.

[00:03:09] He's the only minor prophet that is in the Koran and that is praised by all three Abrahamic

[00:03:16] religions.

[00:03:17] Oh.

[00:03:18] Okay.

[00:03:19] All right.

[00:03:19] Interesting.

[00:03:19] So, I mean, they all have a Jonah story.

[00:03:22] I see.

[00:03:22] I mean, obviously the Jews and the Christians along with, you know, the Catholics are Christian

[00:03:29] or whatever.

[00:03:30] I'm not sure how that all works, but you know what I mean?

[00:03:33] All of them kind of share the Old Testament, you know, but even the Koran, which is like

[00:03:39] Old Testament, you know, um, adjacent, that's the word I was looking for.

[00:03:45] Yeah.

[00:03:46] Adjacent.

[00:03:46] Like I had it in my head as I started the sentence and then it like went right.

[00:03:51] Yeah.

[00:03:51] So, but they all have that, that, um, common bond.

[00:03:55] Got it.

[00:03:56] Okay.

[00:03:56] But let's talk about Jonah a little bit.

[00:03:57] You know, I always like to do a little intro before we do the book.

[00:04:01] Who the fuck's Jonah?

[00:04:02] Who the fuck is Jonah?

[00:04:04] Okay.

[00:04:04] He's the son of Amitai.

[00:04:06] Yeah.

[00:04:07] Who the fuck is Amitai?

[00:04:08] He's a good guy.

[00:04:09] Right.

[00:04:09] Amitai the good guy.

[00:04:11] Amitai the good guy.

[00:04:14] Um, we'll talk about him in a little bit, but there's not much to say about it.

[00:04:16] Got it.

[00:04:17] Yeah.

[00:04:17] Um, he's also known as Jonas, Jonah, Jonas.

[00:04:22] Okay.

[00:04:22] Now what I find interesting is that, um, he's also referred to as Eunice, um, with a Y, which

[00:04:31] is very similar, you know?

[00:04:32] Right.

[00:04:33] Um, just depends on whether you're referring to the Hebrew pronunciation or the, um, uh,

[00:04:42] all those other languages that I don't know.

[00:04:45] Sure.

[00:04:46] Greek and whatever.

[00:04:47] And whatever.

[00:04:48] Yeah.

[00:04:48] I'm sorry.

[00:04:49] Arabic.

[00:04:50] That's the one.

[00:04:50] That's the one I was looking for.

[00:04:52] Thank you.

[00:04:53] Okay.

[00:04:53] I don't have a problem with words.

[00:04:54] You have a problem with words.

[00:04:56] But what?

[00:04:57] That's, that's how it is.

[00:04:58] When I can't think of a word, you have to fill it in.

[00:05:01] I see.

[00:05:01] And if you can't fill it in, then it's you that has the problem.

[00:05:05] Not me.

[00:05:07] Everybody knows you're smarter than I am.

[00:05:10] So I'm laying in this at your feet.

[00:05:12] Okay.

[00:05:13] So I knew a guy when I was in school, his name was Jonas Todd.

[00:05:18] Okay.

[00:05:19] And I had never heard of somebody named Jonas before, but a, he was such a cool guy.

[00:05:26] And B, his name was so fucking cool.

[00:05:29] And it like fit him.

[00:05:31] He was very exuberant, like very, um, just not obnoxious, just like really loud and fun.

[00:05:38] And Jonas just fit him.

[00:05:41] Got it.

[00:05:41] Yeah.

[00:05:41] So anyway, now I understand, Oh, it was a Bible name and I just didn't know it.

[00:05:47] Right.

[00:05:47] There's a lot of things that are in the Bible that we didn't know.

[00:05:50] Yeah.

[00:05:50] Yeah.

[00:05:51] We've discovered a lot.

[00:05:52] Like as we're just like sifting through, you know, media.

[00:05:56] Right.

[00:05:56] We've discovered that there's all these references that we've never caught until we started reading

[00:06:00] the Bible.

[00:06:01] Exactly.

[00:06:01] Exactly.

[00:06:02] And I'm sure it'll become even more prevalent when we get into the new Testament.

[00:06:04] Sure.

[00:06:04] Yeah.

[00:06:05] Yeah.

[00:06:06] I just like, that's apropos of nothing, right?

[00:06:09] It doesn't matter at all, except that, Oh, he came from probably a religious family.

[00:06:16] I didn't know that.

[00:06:18] Oh, his family probably, you know, was all, all of his siblings.

[00:06:24] I'm going to say yes or no, because I mean, there's a lot of people that just use biblical

[00:06:27] names.

[00:06:28] For example, there are other names that, you know, I, for my parents named me after a biblical

[00:06:33] person, but it wasn't, I wasn't actually named after that.

[00:06:37] Okay.

[00:06:37] But yeah, you were not named after that biblical person.

[00:06:41] Right.

[00:06:42] So no, that wasn't a, let's have a Bible name.

[00:06:46] Right.

[00:06:46] I'm saying Jonas is not like a name that you hear frequently.

[00:06:53] Sure.

[00:06:54] So I'm just going to guess that it was a biblical name.

[00:06:59] Okay.

[00:06:59] Anyway, I just, I found the whole thing fascinating.

[00:07:02] Sure.

[00:07:02] Okay.

[00:07:03] So I don't care if other people don't care because I thought it was interesting.

[00:07:09] You got it.

[00:07:09] All right.

[00:07:10] Personally.

[00:07:10] Okay.

[00:07:11] Yeah.

[00:07:11] All right.

[00:07:12] So Jonah or Jonas or Eunice, he was the son of Amittai and his name in Hebrew means dove.

[00:07:22] Okay.

[00:07:22] And he's a minor prophet in the Hebrew Bible.

[00:07:24] He's from Gath Heifer in the Northern Kingdom of Israel around eighth century BCE.

[00:07:32] Okay.

[00:07:32] All right.

[00:07:33] Yeah.

[00:07:33] He's the central figure of the book, Jonah, you know, which this book details Jonah's reluctance

[00:07:42] in delivering the judgment of God to the city of Nineveh, which is near present day Mosul.

[00:07:49] Am I saying that right?

[00:07:50] Mosul?

[00:07:50] Mosul.

[00:07:51] Yeah.

[00:07:51] Okay.

[00:07:52] In the Neo Assyrian Empire.

[00:07:55] Okay.

[00:07:55] So like, I never knew how he ended up in the whale.

[00:07:58] Um, he ends up in the whale.

[00:08:00] We're going to read about it, but the whole story is about him not wanting to deliver God's

[00:08:05] word.

[00:08:05] So he was a reluctant hero.

[00:08:08] I see.

[00:08:08] It, that's how we would refer to him in the writing world.

[00:08:12] Yeah.

[00:08:12] Okay.

[00:08:12] He was like, no, thanks.

[00:08:14] Count me out.

[00:08:15] Right.

[00:08:15] Right.

[00:08:15] Okay.

[00:08:16] So after he swallowed by a huge sea creature, the Hebrew word, which means, um, large fish.

[00:08:24] Yeah.

[00:08:25] Um, he's then released and he returns to the divine mission.

[00:08:29] Okay.

[00:08:29] All right.

[00:08:29] Um, the reason that I'm emphasizing large fish is because it wasn't necessarily a whale.

[00:08:36] Sure.

[00:08:37] He's just like decided that that's.

[00:08:38] Some large fish.

[00:08:39] Yeah.

[00:08:40] It just, it's just a whale.

[00:08:42] You know.

[00:08:42] It's just convenient to say whale because.

[00:08:44] Yeah.

[00:08:44] Cause they're big.

[00:08:45] Right.

[00:08:45] And there's oxygen in there.

[00:08:47] Right.

[00:08:47] Sure.

[00:08:47] He could probably live about three days.

[00:08:49] No.

[00:08:50] I don't know.

[00:08:51] No.

[00:08:51] There's stories.

[00:08:52] I'm pretty sure it's not proven.

[00:08:54] I'm pretty sure it's been proven.

[00:08:55] Okay.

[00:08:55] There is a story and I will have to look it up, but there is a news story, um, within the

[00:09:01] past couple of years.

[00:09:02] There's a story of the others.

[00:09:02] That's how recent of a guy who claims that he was swallowed by a whale and came out.

[00:09:09] No, I'm not saying, I'm not saying whether it's true or not.

[00:09:13] Right.

[00:09:14] He claims this.

[00:09:15] It is true that he claims this.

[00:09:17] Okay.

[00:09:17] This is a true news story.

[00:09:19] Got it.

[00:09:19] Yeah.

[00:09:20] Now, whether he's full of shit or not is a question.

[00:09:23] Yeah.

[00:09:23] Well, I, I'm just going to let you know that, um, Google says you could absolutely could not

[00:09:28] live in a whale for three days.

[00:09:30] I mean, so look, who am I to argue with God of the Bible?

[00:09:34] Okay.

[00:09:35] I think that Google needs to have a talk with God and get back to me.

[00:09:39] Okay.

[00:09:47] I think, um, if you ask it certain political things, even still, even though the election

[00:09:52] is done, it still will not tell you political stuff.

[00:09:55] Sure.

[00:09:56] No, I get it.

[00:09:56] And I'm like, fuck off.

[00:09:57] It's giving me reasons why you couldn't.

[00:09:59] Right.

[00:09:59] And it seems pretty reasonable to me.

[00:10:00] Yeah.

[00:10:00] If you take, if you take the Bible out of it, if you take politics out of it, then it'll

[00:10:05] answer your question.

[00:10:06] Right.

[00:10:06] Right.

[00:10:07] You have to just know how to phrase the questions.

[00:10:09] Right.

[00:10:09] Yes.

[00:10:10] But you can't like, if you said, could Jonah have lived, could Jonah of the Bible whose

[00:10:15] father was, um, Amittai, could he have totally lived in the whale for three days?

[00:10:22] Or is the Bible full of shit?

[00:10:24] It would be like, I don't want to get involved in the don't put me in the middle.

[00:10:30] It's like, no, I'm asking for facts, bro.

[00:10:33] Okay.

[00:10:34] So anyway, in Judaism, the story of Jonah represents the teaching of repentance in Judaism and the

[00:10:41] ability to repent to God for forgiveness.

[00:10:44] Okay.

[00:10:45] Okay.

[00:10:45] Yeah.

[00:10:45] Um, this is important because there are several Christian scholars, quote unquote, who claim

[00:10:55] that Jonah is a precursor to the Jesus story.

[00:10:59] Oh, he's a pre Jesus.

[00:11:01] I see.

[00:11:02] Because he's like, why me God?

[00:11:06] No, I don't want to.

[00:11:08] And then he is going into the whale and then coming out three days later.

[00:11:15] Oh, yeah.

[00:11:16] I see.

[00:11:17] Yeah.

[00:11:17] Similar story.

[00:11:19] Similar story.

[00:11:20] So they're like, he's so like Jesus that whole didn't want to.

[00:11:25] And three days later.

[00:11:26] And I'm like, yeah, except he wasn't the son of God.

[00:11:29] And it was old Testament, not new Testament.

[00:11:32] And Christians get your own fucking religion.

[00:11:35] And sure.

[00:11:35] I mean, so we just being in the old Testament, we've talked about how the old Testament seems

[00:11:41] to inform a lot of the things in the new Testament.

[00:11:43] And obviously, you know, the new Testament came after the old Testament.

[00:11:48] Yeah.

[00:11:48] And therefore it was easy to pick and choose what they wanted to make the new Testament.

[00:11:53] Yes.

[00:11:54] You know?

[00:11:54] And so I feel like that's not entirely untrue.

[00:11:58] You know, these things that happened in the old Testament and in other cultures, even

[00:12:03] oftentimes inform what happened in the new Testament.

[00:12:07] Yes.

[00:12:07] Indeed.

[00:12:08] You are correct.

[00:12:09] So Jonah in Islam is regarded as a prophet.

[00:12:13] And the narrative of Jonah appears in the 10th chapter of the Quran named after him,

[00:12:19] Eunice.

[00:12:19] Okay.

[00:12:20] That's Y-U-N-U-S.

[00:12:23] Got it.

[00:12:24] Not E-U-N-I-C-E, like the, you know, hillbilly mama, Eunice.

[00:12:29] Okay.

[00:12:30] Okay.

[00:12:30] All right.

[00:12:31] So Eunice is traditionally viewed as highly important in Islam as a prophet who was faithful

[00:12:38] to God and delivered his messages.

[00:12:40] All right.

[00:12:40] Jonah, like I said before, is the only one of Judaism's 12 minor prophets to be named in

[00:12:46] the Quran.

[00:12:47] And the only one that I know.

[00:12:48] Yeah.

[00:12:49] Go figure.

[00:12:50] I mean, prior.

[00:12:51] Yeah.

[00:12:52] Now the Quran never mentions Jonah's father, but Muslim tradition, get this, teaches that

[00:12:58] Jonah was from the tribe of Benjamin and that his father was Amittai.

[00:13:03] Okay.

[00:13:04] All right.

[00:13:04] So they're like, well, we don't have that name in our book, but let's just, that's a

[00:13:09] good name.

[00:13:10] I like that.

[00:13:11] Yeah.

[00:13:11] Let's put it there.

[00:13:12] But let's say he's from Benjamin.

[00:13:15] Right.

[00:13:15] Why not?

[00:13:15] We like Benjamin.

[00:13:16] Sure.

[00:13:17] Sure.

[00:13:17] I don't see why not.

[00:13:18] Sure.

[00:13:18] He was the baby.

[00:13:19] He was well loved.

[00:13:20] Right.

[00:13:20] Even the brothers all loved him.

[00:13:21] Yeah.

[00:13:21] That's why they were able to reconcile because they were like, no, don't, don't do that to

[00:13:26] our baby brother.

[00:13:28] Not Benjamin.

[00:13:29] Oh, take me.

[00:13:30] Not Ben.

[00:13:30] I think it's interesting because they said earlier that he lived in the northern section

[00:13:34] of Israel, which would not have been Benjamin.

[00:13:37] Right.

[00:13:37] So that would have meant he and he and or his family would have had to have moved north at

[00:13:43] some point from that area.

[00:13:45] Right.

[00:13:45] To go to this other area.

[00:13:46] So it seems a little unlikely.

[00:13:49] Right.

[00:13:49] I don't feel like people moved around a lot unless there was a specific purpose.

[00:13:52] Well, I mean, the Bedouins, they were the guys who roamed about like the herds.

[00:14:00] Sure.

[00:14:00] And like they slept in tents because they just followed their herds.

[00:14:05] But those would have been different cultures that were kind of mingling with the Israelites

[00:14:09] and not necessarily the Israelites because the Israelites had their own tribes and their

[00:14:12] own places and their own things.

[00:14:14] I was totally just being very like monolith, like stereotypy, like, you know, all of those

[00:14:23] cultures over there.

[00:14:24] Like I was just like putting them all in one basket.

[00:14:27] And that is horrible.

[00:14:28] And we should not do that.

[00:14:29] And I'm calling myself out.

[00:14:31] OK.

[00:14:32] All right.

[00:14:32] That was not cool, guys.

[00:14:34] Stop doing that.

[00:14:36] OK.

[00:14:37] Many modern Bible scholars suggest the book of Jonah is fictional and at least partially

[00:14:43] satirical even.

[00:14:45] I see.

[00:14:45] OK.

[00:14:46] The character, the character of Jonah, son of Amittai, may have been based on the historical

[00:14:53] prophet of the same name who prophesied during the reign of King Amaziah of Judah.

[00:14:59] OK.

[00:14:59] As mentioned in Second Kings.

[00:15:01] Got it.

[00:15:02] OK.

[00:15:02] I don't recall that, but I'm sure I believe you.

[00:15:06] Right.

[00:15:06] Yeah.

[00:15:07] OK.

[00:15:07] Although the creature that swallowed Jonah is often depicted in art and culture as a

[00:15:11] whale, as I already said, the Hebrew text uses the phrase large fish.

[00:15:17] You are a big fish.

[00:15:19] Right.

[00:15:19] Like how big is your fish?

[00:15:21] It's whale.

[00:15:22] Yeah.

[00:15:23] Yeah.

[00:15:23] That fish be whaling.

[00:15:25] But speaking of big fish, that is such a good movie.

[00:15:28] Y'all has nothing to do with this.

[00:15:30] What is that?

[00:15:31] Big fish.

[00:15:32] Oh, big.

[00:15:32] Yeah.

[00:15:33] Yeah.

[00:15:33] Right.

[00:15:33] That is a really good.

[00:15:34] It's so good.

[00:15:36] It's what is that like fantasy realism or fantastical realism or something like that?

[00:15:43] Yeah, maybe.

[00:15:43] Yeah.

[00:15:44] Yeah.

[00:15:44] It's like you're supposed to see that it's happening in the real world, but there's a

[00:15:48] magical, magical realism.

[00:15:50] That's what it is.

[00:15:51] Right.

[00:15:52] And it's just it's such a great movie.

[00:15:54] I want to point out real quick that Bedouins actually did not exist during biblical times.

[00:15:59] My total bad.

[00:16:01] So now there is a lot of, you know, similarities in some of the ways that some people lived back

[00:16:05] then and they may have been precursors to what the Bedouins were, but they were not actually

[00:16:10] there.

[00:16:10] I appreciate you fact checking me on that because like I said, I was just all kinds of just,

[00:16:19] you know, all the people over there, they're all the same.

[00:16:21] Right.

[00:16:22] Just like all Americans on the American continent.

[00:16:25] Right.

[00:16:25] You know, Canada, America, Texas.

[00:16:28] It's all the same.

[00:16:29] Sure.

[00:16:30] Right.

[00:16:30] Sure.

[00:16:31] No, no.

[00:16:32] Just just in case you wondered, it's not.

[00:16:34] And it is important to recognize different cultures and just as it's important to us here

[00:16:41] to say, oh, no, I'm American and I wish I was Canadian and I'm totally not Texan.

[00:16:50] Like it matters.

[00:16:51] Right.

[00:16:51] Like I don't have a lot of like American pride right now because just, you know, the

[00:16:58] way it is.

[00:16:59] We just elected fucking Trump.

[00:17:00] Yeah.

[00:17:01] Fuck that shit.

[00:17:02] But other people might actually have that pride or they might not want to be lumped in.

[00:17:07] And so I apologize.

[00:17:09] Truly.

[00:17:09] That was shitty of me.

[00:17:11] And I'm going to try to stop that.

[00:17:13] Well, I mean, I want to clarify real quick, too, that I have pride in what America could

[00:17:17] stand for.

[00:17:17] Oh, yeah.

[00:17:18] Yeah.

[00:17:18] We've had that talk.

[00:17:19] No, I just I want to.

[00:17:20] I just want to say real quick.

[00:17:21] The American dream, the American principles, the shit you're taught when you're a kid.

[00:17:25] That is all really great values and morals and the city on the hill.

[00:17:30] You know, the propaganda.

[00:17:33] Yeah.

[00:17:33] Yeah.

[00:17:34] Yeah.

[00:17:34] The freedom.

[00:17:35] You know, give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.

[00:17:41] The wretched refuse of your teeming shores.

[00:17:44] Send these.

[00:17:45] The homeless tempest tossed to me.

[00:17:48] I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

[00:17:51] Yeah.

[00:17:52] Yeah.

[00:17:52] And then we elect Trump.

[00:17:53] Yeah.

[00:17:54] And he closes everything.

[00:17:57] Yeah.

[00:17:57] Right.

[00:17:57] So, yeah, I have pride in that image and I wish it was true.

[00:18:02] Right.

[00:18:03] And I wish we had better health care.

[00:18:05] And I wish we cared about our poor and our trans and our people of color as much as.

[00:18:11] Yeah.

[00:18:11] Any number of things.

[00:18:12] All of the things.

[00:18:12] All of the above.

[00:18:13] Yes.

[00:18:14] Pride in the Americans.

[00:18:15] Yeah.

[00:18:16] Whatever.

[00:18:16] Okay.

[00:18:16] Anyway, sorry for my lumping in.

[00:18:19] Jonah.

[00:18:20] Yes.

[00:18:20] Jonah.

[00:18:21] We're doing Jonah.

[00:18:22] Large fish.

[00:18:23] Not necessarily whale.

[00:18:25] Okay.

[00:18:25] In the 17th century and early 18th century, the species of the fish that swallowed Jonah

[00:18:30] was a subject of speculation by naturalists.

[00:18:33] That's where we got whale.

[00:18:34] I'm sure.

[00:18:35] Yeah.

[00:18:35] They were like, ooh, let's study this part of the Bible.

[00:18:38] Right.

[00:18:38] This sounds fun.

[00:18:39] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:18:39] They interpreted the story as an account of a historical incident because, you know, they

[00:18:44] were pretty dumb back then.

[00:18:45] Well, there are still people today that would treat it as a historical incident.

[00:18:49] Yeah, yeah.

[00:18:50] I mean, you know, people take the Bible very seriously.

[00:18:53] They do.

[00:18:54] They do.

[00:18:54] They're like, yeah, the Bible says he lived in there for three days.

[00:18:58] I don't care what sign says.

[00:19:00] Happened.

[00:19:00] Well, it's true.

[00:19:01] They did.

[00:19:02] It did.

[00:19:02] It's true that people take these things very seriously.

[00:19:06] They do.

[00:19:06] And that's silly.

[00:19:08] But that's part of why we want to read through this stuff.

[00:19:10] Yeah.

[00:19:10] Because it is like some of this stuff is just like just the fact that it is absolutely impossible

[00:19:15] for that to happen.

[00:19:16] Right.

[00:19:17] Is.

[00:19:17] But not with people should know.

[00:19:19] Not with the hand of God.

[00:19:21] Whatever.

[00:19:21] God enabled that to happen.

[00:19:23] Is what they.

[00:19:23] But that's what they would say.

[00:19:24] I know.

[00:19:25] It doesn't matter that.

[00:19:26] No, but somebody couldn't do that scientifically.

[00:19:29] It's impossible.

[00:19:29] I just don't understand why people don't say it's much more likely that some fucking idiot

[00:19:33] back in the, you know, middle or, you know, early days of the Bible made up a goddamn

[00:19:40] story.

[00:19:40] And then not only.

[00:19:42] I'm like, have you ever heard somebody talk about the fish they caught?

[00:19:45] For fuck's sake.

[00:19:47] Where do you.

[00:19:48] It turns out to be a goddamn, you know, whale.

[00:19:51] Whale.

[00:19:52] When all they're done.

[00:19:53] When all they caught was maybe a win a minnow.

[00:19:55] Right.

[00:19:56] Yeah.

[00:19:57] I'm just saying like the, why do we believe this shit?

[00:20:00] Just because it's old or what?

[00:20:03] And been repeated.

[00:20:04] You know, I don't understand.

[00:20:05] I don't know.

[00:20:05] But these naturalists started it.

[00:20:07] Yeah.

[00:20:07] Well, they didn't start it.

[00:20:08] There was a lot of people that started it, but yeah.

[00:20:10] But they didn't make things better.

[00:20:13] Right.

[00:20:14] Because they were like, let us make the Bible and science one.

[00:20:18] And it's like, no, that's not what the enlightenment wanted.

[00:20:21] Stop.

[00:20:22] You're doing the enlightenment wrong.

[00:20:23] You guys.

[00:20:24] The enlightenment was about science and proving things and finding the truth, not trying to make the Bible be true.

[00:20:34] Stop.

[00:20:35] I hate them.

[00:20:36] I don't know.

[00:20:37] I have to maybe disagree with you a little bit there because in those days, even though science was becoming more prevalent, people still took the Bible and God and religion very seriously.

[00:20:48] Yes.

[00:20:48] But naturalists were already scoffing at the ideas of like, okay, I'm running out of words again.

[00:21:01] Okay.

[00:21:01] But all of the silly ways that they claimed people were not related to animals and like, they thought that the giraffe just like grew his neck.

[00:21:18] Sure.

[00:21:18] You know, like, oh, I need those leaves up there.

[00:21:22] And so like, you know, a week later, all these type of animals had long necks.

[00:21:27] Right.

[00:21:28] Well, if a week means, you know, centuries, okay.

[00:21:32] More than centuries.

[00:21:33] Right.

[00:21:34] I was trying to be generous.

[00:21:35] Yeah.

[00:21:37] But they were already starting to scoff at those ideas.

[00:21:40] Sure.

[00:21:41] Like, that's what the whole purpose was.

[00:21:43] And they were open to being wrong.

[00:21:47] I mean, they were still sexist and racist.

[00:21:50] To some extent, but they still believed in God.

[00:21:53] But much of the time, that was still a given.

[00:21:55] Yeah.

[00:21:56] So they took extra effort to make things that were biblical be true because it has to be true if they believe their whole point of view on life and the afterlife and everything.

[00:22:07] Not all of them.

[00:22:08] Not all of them, but a large amount of them.

[00:22:11] Too many.

[00:22:11] Much larger than today.

[00:22:13] Too many.

[00:22:14] That is true.

[00:22:15] Yeah.

[00:22:16] So anyway, they tried to say it really happened.

[00:22:20] It's a historical incident.

[00:22:22] Sure.

[00:22:22] Some modern scholars of folklore, on the other hand, note similarities between Jonah and other legendary religious figures like.

[00:22:31] Oh, I'm shocked.

[00:22:32] Right?

[00:22:32] Like the Indian yogi Matsyendranatha or Lord of the Fishes.

[00:22:39] Okay.

[00:22:40] As well as the Sumerian King Gilgamesh.

[00:22:44] That sounds like it could be more likely as a.

[00:22:48] And the Greek hero Jason.

[00:22:50] Oh.

[00:22:51] Okay.

[00:22:52] And the Argonauts.

[00:22:53] Yeah, yeah.

[00:22:53] That guy.

[00:22:54] Right.

[00:22:54] Yeah.

[00:22:54] Yeah.

[00:22:55] So according to one tradition, Jonah was the boy brought back to life by Elijah, the prophet in first Kings.

[00:23:03] I remember that story.

[00:23:05] Yeah.

[00:23:05] And I'm like, but what?

[00:23:07] That's so random.

[00:23:08] Why?

[00:23:08] Yeah.

[00:23:09] Didn't he like lay over him or something?

[00:23:11] Yeah.

[00:23:11] He laid on top of that boy.

[00:23:12] Yeah.

[00:23:12] It was very sexual.

[00:23:14] It was disturbing a bit.

[00:23:16] It made me very uncomfortable.

[00:23:17] Yeah, me too.

[00:23:18] It made me feel pedo was happening right before my eyes.

[00:23:23] And I'm like, yeah, that's the church for you.

[00:23:26] Right.

[00:23:27] Right.

[00:23:27] But I'm just like, why that kid?

[00:23:30] Why?

[00:23:31] Like it could have been any other unnamed character.

[00:23:34] Right.

[00:23:35] Like so random.

[00:23:36] Yeah.

[00:23:37] But no, they like those little connection things that they.

[00:23:39] It makes it more real.

[00:23:41] Right.

[00:23:41] Well, it makes it more fun.

[00:23:43] It does.

[00:23:43] It does.

[00:23:44] Yeah.

[00:23:45] We like everybody to be hooked up by the end of the story.

[00:23:49] Right.

[00:23:49] Everybody must have a partner.

[00:23:51] Yeah.

[00:23:51] Another tradition holds that he was the son of the woman of Shunem brought back to life by Elisha in Second Kings.

[00:24:00] Okay.

[00:24:01] And that he is called the son of Amittai, which means truth due to his mother's recognition of Elijah's identity as a prophet in First Kings.

[00:24:12] Okay.

[00:24:13] So either Elijah or Elijah may have brought him back to life.

[00:24:18] Got it.

[00:24:18] Or his mom.

[00:24:19] Or none of them were involved.

[00:24:21] Or nobody ever died and was brought back to life.

[00:24:24] Sure.

[00:24:24] Unless it was with artificial resuscitation or some type of EM, what is it?

[00:24:33] Electromagnetic thingy that zaps their hearts and make it start beating again.

[00:24:38] Yeah.

[00:24:38] Yeah.

[00:24:38] That kind of thing.

[00:24:39] Right.

[00:24:39] And that's not quote unquote bringing somebody back to life.

[00:24:43] That's catching them right before they true gone.

[00:24:46] Right.

[00:24:47] Yeah.

[00:24:47] I mean, I'm not saying you were not in death's grasp.

[00:24:49] You got them to start breathing and heart beating again.

[00:24:51] Yeah.

[00:24:52] Yeah.

[00:24:52] They weren't brain dead yet.

[00:24:53] You caught them before their body realized that it could stop.

[00:24:57] Yeah.

[00:24:57] You know?

[00:24:58] Right.

[00:24:58] You plugged them in real quick.

[00:25:00] Yep.

[00:25:01] Okay.

[00:25:01] So according to the Midrash, while Jonah was inside the fish, the fish told him that its life was nearly over because soon the Leviathan would eat them both.

[00:25:12] Oh, okay.

[00:25:14] Okay.

[00:25:14] Jonah promised the fish that he would save them.

[00:25:16] Following Jonah's directions, the fish swam up alongside the Leviathan and Jonah threatened to leash the Leviathan by its tongue and let the other fish eat it.

[00:25:27] The Leviathan heard Jonah's threats, saw that he was a bald dick dude.

[00:25:33] He was circumcised and realized that he was protected by the Lord.

[00:25:37] But seriously?

[00:25:39] Yeah.

[00:25:39] Okay.

[00:25:40] He's the Leviathan saw that my guy was circumcised.

[00:25:46] Oh my God.

[00:25:46] He's like, I see you have a mighty fine dick.

[00:25:50] I see that it is in its full glory uncovered.

[00:25:55] Yeah.

[00:25:56] And bald.

[00:25:57] Okay.

[00:25:57] That's why I said bald dick dude.

[00:25:59] This is a weird story.

[00:26:00] Yeah.

[00:26:01] Okay.

[00:26:01] Okay.

[00:26:01] And it was like, oh, circumcised motherfuckers got the Lord on their side.

[00:26:07] So it fled in terror, leaving Jonah and the fish alive.

[00:26:10] That's a fun story.

[00:26:12] Fishes that know what's up with a man's dick.

[00:26:15] No wonder guys like to just like wave their dicks around.

[00:26:18] Right?

[00:26:19] Apparently they'll save your life.

[00:26:20] They're like, look at my dick.

[00:26:22] Just for the record.

[00:26:23] Don't do that.

[00:26:24] Look at my dick guys.

[00:26:24] It won't save your life.

[00:26:25] The Lord's gonna save me.

[00:26:27] Look at my dick.

[00:26:28] See my dick?

[00:26:28] Jesus Christ.

[00:26:30] The medieval Jewish scholar and rabbi Abraham Ibn Nazra from 1092 to 1167.

[00:26:37] I feel like I've heard that name before.

[00:26:39] He's one of those, I think, midrash writer guys.

[00:26:44] Very influential.

[00:26:45] Yeah.

[00:26:45] I might have the wrong book.

[00:26:47] Medieval like Jewish literature.

[00:26:48] Yeah.

[00:26:49] He was a Jewish scholar.

[00:26:51] Sure.

[00:26:51] Okay.

[00:26:51] And rabbi.

[00:26:54] It might have been in our book that we do or it might have been in something else.

[00:26:58] It would have been several notes.

[00:26:59] We've mentioned him before.

[00:27:00] Yeah, yeah.

[00:27:01] He argued against any literal interpretation of the book of Jonah stating that the experiences

[00:27:06] of all the prophets except for Moses were visions, not actualities.

[00:27:11] You dumb motherfuckers.

[00:27:12] Huh.

[00:27:13] So apparently he had some of a brain about him.

[00:27:16] Okay.

[00:27:16] Okay.

[00:27:16] Yeah.

[00:27:17] But the later scholar, Isaac Arbarbanel, who was alive in 1437 to 1509.

[00:27:26] Okay.

[00:27:26] He argued that Jonah could have easily survived in the belly of the fish for three days because

[00:27:32] after all fetuses live nine months without access to fresh air.

[00:27:39] Tell me you don't know anything about a woman's body without saying you don't know anything about a woman's body.

[00:27:45] Right.

[00:27:45] Yeah.

[00:27:45] I bet you can't make her come neither.

[00:27:50] I mean, to be fair, I don't know that science would have caught up with these rationale at that point.

[00:27:55] I'm just saying.

[00:27:55] So, no, but what is sad is that there are people in Congress, senators who don't know any more about a woman's body than this motherfucker.

[00:28:06] Definitely.

[00:28:07] And they would say.

[00:28:08] The ignorance that is still in society is unbelievable.

[00:28:10] Even at the top levels.

[00:28:12] I have seen so many dudes like, like TikToks about guys that, that don't know that a woman can't just hold her period.

[00:28:22] You know, like pee.

[00:28:23] Like, can't you just hold it?

[00:28:25] She's crazy.

[00:28:25] Why do you leak everywhere all the time?

[00:28:27] Can't you just hold it?

[00:28:28] Oh my God.

[00:28:29] Yeah.

[00:28:29] Like, oh, okay.

[00:28:31] To all my non-period having friends, listeners, just in case.

[00:28:38] Well, no, not all.

[00:28:39] Oh, okay.

[00:28:40] Right, right, right.

[00:28:40] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[00:28:41] Fair enough, fair enough.

[00:28:42] Yeah.

[00:28:43] Just so you know, people who have periods know they cannot hold them.

[00:28:48] It is not indeed like pee.

[00:28:50] Right.

[00:28:50] It is basically, you are bleeding.

[00:28:53] Right.

[00:28:53] You have a wound and it's called this egg don't work.

[00:28:58] Right.

[00:28:58] This egg is broken.

[00:29:00] You're, you're spitting out a broken egg.

[00:29:04] Yeah.

[00:29:04] Okay.

[00:29:05] That is the period.

[00:29:06] Yeah.

[00:29:07] And, and you cannot hold, like if you cut your arm, you cannot hold that and just stop bleeding.

[00:29:14] Right.

[00:29:14] You have to stick a pad or something on your arm if you cut your arm.

[00:29:19] Right.

[00:29:20] Similarly with the period.

[00:29:23] Yes.

[00:29:24] Okay.

[00:29:24] So moving on.

[00:29:27] Men suck.

[00:29:28] I'm sorry.

[00:29:29] Amittai is only mentioned twice in the Bible.

[00:29:32] He's mentioned in second Kings chapter 14 and in Jonah chapter one.

[00:29:37] Okay.

[00:29:37] And nothing is known about him other than that.

[00:29:40] He was Jonah's daddy.

[00:29:41] Oh, and he was a native of Gath Hefar.

[00:29:44] Got it.

[00:29:45] Okay.

[00:29:45] Okay.

[00:29:46] That's it.

[00:29:53] Okay.

[00:29:58] Okay.

[00:29:59] And decided to take shelter in the garden of two leaders.

[00:30:04] A Das, a lowly servant boy was sent to offer grapes to Muhammad.

[00:30:08] When a Das came, Muhammad asked, Hey, yo, which land do you come from?

[00:30:14] And a Das replied, Hey, yo, I'm from Nineveh.

[00:30:17] And so upon receiving this answer, Muhammad was like, dude, that's the town of Jonah, son

[00:30:23] of Amittai.

[00:30:25] Cool.

[00:30:25] Cool.

[00:30:26] Okay.

[00:30:27] It's kind of like if you go to Europe, for example, and you bump into another American

[00:30:35] abroad and you're like, I'm from Ohio.

[00:30:38] How about you?

[00:30:39] And they're like, Oh my God, I'm from Ohio too.

[00:30:41] And you're like, no way where?

[00:30:43] And then they're like, I mean, Cincinnati.

[00:30:47] And you're like, Oh no, I'm from like the entire north of the state.

[00:30:52] So like, um, Cleveland or Toledo or some shit like that.

[00:30:56] Right.

[00:30:57] And then you're like, Oh, of course that makes perfect sense that we wouldn't be from

[00:31:00] the same, but this was a small town and they were like, dude, you must know Jonah.

[00:31:07] Sure.

[00:31:08] So then overjoyed Muhammad then told a Das the grape bearing boy from Nineveh.

[00:31:14] Yeah.

[00:31:14] How Jonah and he Muhammad were prophetic brothers.

[00:31:18] Got it.

[00:31:19] Like you knew my, my dude, my prophet friend over there.

[00:31:23] Got it.

[00:31:23] So, okay.

[00:31:24] One more thing.

[00:31:25] And then we will actually start this book.

[00:31:27] And I'm telling you, there's so much more.

[00:31:28] Like I'm not even giving you all the fucking information.

[00:31:31] Yeah.

[00:31:32] I tried to only take the most interesting stuff and then I will try to hit more of it when

[00:31:37] we do the wrap up.

[00:31:39] Okay.

[00:31:39] Like I literally cut this in half.

[00:31:42] I know you're like, Jesus Christ, are we getting to chapter one?

[00:31:45] It's not a long chapter.

[00:31:46] So that's why I feel justified.

[00:31:48] Okay.

[00:31:48] All right.

[00:31:49] Let's talk about Jonah's tomb right quick.

[00:31:51] Okay.

[00:31:51] Okay.

[00:31:52] So Nineveh's current location is marked by excavations of five gates, parts of walls on four sides,

[00:32:00] and two large mounds.

[00:32:02] The hill of Kuyinjik and the hill of Nabi Yunus.

[00:32:08] Okay.

[00:32:09] Yunus being, Yunus being.

[00:32:11] Sure.

[00:32:12] Jonah.

[00:32:12] Right.

[00:32:13] Yeah.

[00:32:14] A mosque that sat atop Nabi Yunus was dedicated to the prophet Jonah and contained a shrine

[00:32:22] which was revered by both Muslims and Christians as the site of Jonah's tomb.

[00:32:28] Interesting.

[00:32:28] The tomb was a popular pilgrimage site and a symbol of unity to Jews, Christians, and

[00:32:35] Muslims across the Middle East.

[00:32:37] Wow.

[00:32:38] I know.

[00:32:38] Like I got goosebumps when I read this and I just now got goosebumps again because wow,

[00:32:44] right?

[00:32:44] That's amazing.

[00:32:45] What kind of timeframe was this in?

[00:32:47] Let me tell you.

[00:32:48] All right.

[00:32:48] On July 24th, 2014, ISIL, the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, destroyed the mosque

[00:32:57] containing the tomb as part of a campaign to destroy religious sanctuaries that it deemed

[00:33:03] to be idolatrous.

[00:33:04] Oh, wow.

[00:33:05] Right?

[00:33:06] Wow.

[00:33:06] Yeah.

[00:33:07] So 10 years ago, 2014.

[00:33:09] Oh, wow.

[00:33:10] 10 years ago, that shrine still existed.

[00:33:13] Wow.

[00:33:13] Yeah.

[00:33:14] Okay.

[00:33:14] Um, after Mosul was taken back from ISIL in 2017, an ancient Assyrian palace built by

[00:33:23] Asarhaddon, Asarhaddon?

[00:33:26] I'm sorry.

[00:33:27] Dating to around the first half of the 7th century BCE was discovered beneath the ruined

[00:33:33] mosque.

[00:33:34] Oh.

[00:33:35] ISIL had fucking plundered the palace of items to sell on the black market.

[00:33:41] They had, I mean, they had just raped it dry.

[00:33:44] Yeah.

[00:33:44] You know?

[00:33:45] But some of the artifacts that were more difficult to transport, like too big, too heavy to carry,

[00:33:50] Yeah.

[00:33:50] still remained in place.

[00:33:52] Got it.

[00:33:54] Other reputed locations of Jonah's tomb.

[00:33:56] Like, that's to me the biggest and saddest one.

[00:33:59] Like, I almost don't even care about these other sites.

[00:34:01] I'm only mentioning them because.

[00:34:04] Right.

[00:34:04] You know?

[00:34:05] Yeah.

[00:34:05] All right.

[00:34:06] So, other reputed locations of Jonah's tomb include the Arab village of Mashhad, located

[00:34:12] in the ancient site of Gath Hefar in Israel.

[00:34:15] Okay.

[00:34:15] Which, okay, that tracks, cause you know, that's where they were from.

[00:34:19] Right.

[00:34:20] The Nabi Yunus mosque of the Palestinian town of Halul in the West Bank, about 3.1 miles north

[00:34:30] of Hebron.

[00:34:31] Hebron.

[00:34:31] Okay.

[00:34:32] Was purportedly built over Jonah's tomb.

[00:34:36] Okay.

[00:34:36] A sanctuary near the city of Sarephand or Sarepta in Lebanon.

[00:34:42] Okay.

[00:34:43] Lebanon.

[00:34:43] Lebanon.

[00:34:43] Sorry.

[00:34:44] And a hill now called Givat Yona, meaning Jonah's hill, at the northern edge of the

[00:34:52] Israeli town of Ashdod, at a site covered by a modern lighthouse.

[00:34:57] Okay.

[00:34:58] They were like, hey, this might be Jonah's tomb.

[00:35:00] Let's build a fucking lighthouse on top of it.

[00:35:02] Yeah, that tracks.

[00:35:03] Right.

[00:35:04] Sure, sure, sure.

[00:35:04] Okay, and the final one is tomb of Jonah in the city of Diyarbakar, Turkey, located behind

[00:35:12] the Mirab at Faith Pasha Mosque.

[00:35:16] That fucker has been buried in a lot of places.

[00:35:18] He sure as fuck has.

[00:35:20] That's weird.

[00:35:20] Yes.

[00:35:21] Okay.

[00:35:22] So, let us now begin reading about Jonah.

[00:35:26] Okay.

[00:35:26] Okay?

[00:35:27] I mean, isn't that ridiculous how much info there is about this dude?

[00:35:30] Yeah.

[00:35:31] Four chapters.

[00:35:32] But also, is it like, it's not that accurate either though?

[00:35:35] No, but.

[00:35:36] I mean, to be buried in like six different places.

[00:35:39] No, but what I'm saying is there is so much info about this guy, all the legends, the stories,

[00:35:47] the this, the that.

[00:35:48] Right.

[00:35:48] Yeah.

[00:35:49] And there's only four chapters.

[00:35:51] We don't have like 10 different burial places for guys that have 30 chapters.

[00:35:55] That's true.

[00:35:56] That's true.

[00:35:57] And you would expect, comparatively speaking, that you would.

[00:36:00] Right.

[00:36:01] No, you're right.

[00:36:02] You're right.

[00:36:03] So Jonah, chapter one.

[00:36:05] Okay.

[00:36:06] The word of the Lord came to Jonah, son of Amittai.

[00:36:10] Okay.

[00:36:10] Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it because it's wickedness has come up before

[00:36:16] me.

[00:36:16] You know how them, them people be wicked.

[00:36:19] But Jonah ran away from the Lord.

[00:36:21] He was like, no, I'm out.

[00:36:23] Run away.

[00:36:24] Run away.

[00:36:24] Exactly.

[00:36:25] He headed for Tarshish.

[00:36:27] He went down to Joppa where he found a ship bound for that port.

[00:36:31] After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the Lord.

[00:36:37] Oh.

[00:36:37] So he's on a ship with other people.

[00:36:39] Okay.

[00:36:40] Yeah.

[00:36:40] Yeah.

[00:36:40] Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea and such a violent storm arose that the ship

[00:36:47] threatened to break up.

[00:36:48] All the sailors were afraid and each cried out to his own God.

[00:36:52] And they threw the cargo into the sea to lighten the ship.

[00:36:56] But Jonah had gone below deck where he lay down and fell into a deep sleep.

[00:37:00] He was like, fuck me.

[00:37:02] Right.

[00:37:03] Maybe if I just sleep through the storm when I wake up, it'll all be better.

[00:37:06] So he's down there sleeping, trying to just like pretend nothing's happening.

[00:37:10] La la la.

[00:37:11] Everything's fine.

[00:37:11] This is fine.

[00:37:13] The captain went to him and said, how can you sleep, motherfucker?

[00:37:17] Get up and call on your God.

[00:37:19] Maybe he will take notice of us so that we will not perish.

[00:37:21] So I just find this interesting that these guys each prayed to a different God.

[00:37:28] Right.

[00:37:28] And they respected that like maybe one of these gods will help us.

[00:37:32] Sure.

[00:37:33] Like there's all different gods, you know?

[00:37:36] Yeah.

[00:37:36] Everybody call out, see which one works.

[00:37:38] Yeah.

[00:37:38] Surely one of the gods will answer to us.

[00:37:42] Right.

[00:37:42] That's kind of how the Israelites operated most of the time.

[00:37:44] They're like, whatever works, man.

[00:37:46] Just fucking.

[00:37:46] Make it rain or make it dry up.

[00:37:49] Yeah.

[00:37:49] Whatever.

[00:37:49] Whatever the fuck.

[00:37:50] Make this storm stop.

[00:37:51] Right.

[00:37:52] Then the sailors said to each other, come let us cast lots to find out who is responsible

[00:37:57] for this fucking calamity.

[00:37:58] Oh, that sounds scientific.

[00:38:00] That's very scientific.

[00:38:01] They cast lots and guess what?

[00:38:03] Jonah.

[00:38:03] The lot fell on Jonah.

[00:38:05] Yeah, of course.

[00:38:06] Because God.

[00:38:07] Sure.

[00:38:07] So they asked him, tell us who is responsible for making all this trouble for us, asshole.

[00:38:13] What kind of work do you do?

[00:38:14] Where do you come from?

[00:38:15] What is your country?

[00:38:16] From what people are you?

[00:38:18] All based on lots.

[00:38:19] Yeah.

[00:38:20] Just luck of the draw.

[00:38:21] Okay.

[00:38:21] Well, but God led that.

[00:38:23] Yeah, sure.

[00:38:23] Okay.

[00:38:24] You know, when you draw straws, you know, God clearly has his hand on that at all times.

[00:38:31] Right.

[00:38:31] Yeah.

[00:38:31] So my guy answered, I'm a Hebrew and I worship the Lord, the God of heaven who made the

[00:38:38] sea and the dry land, you know.

[00:38:40] Right.

[00:38:40] Yahweh kind of thing.

[00:38:42] Elohim.

[00:38:43] You heard of him?

[00:38:45] And this terrified them.

[00:38:47] And they asked, what the fuck have you done?

[00:38:49] Okay.

[00:38:50] They really asked, what have you done?

[00:38:52] Right.

[00:38:53] But what the fuck have you done?

[00:38:55] Sure.

[00:38:55] That's probably what they really said.

[00:38:57] They knew he was running away from the Lord because he had already told them so.

[00:39:02] That's in parentheses.

[00:39:03] Let me reread that.

[00:39:04] Okay.

[00:39:04] They knew he was running away from the Lord because he had already told them so.

[00:39:08] Okay.

[00:39:09] Parentheses voice.

[00:39:10] Got it.

[00:39:10] The sea was getting rougher and rougher.

[00:39:13] So they asked him, what the fuck should we do to make, to you, to make the sea calm

[00:39:18] down for us?

[00:39:20] And I'm guessing the answer is going to be throw him overboard.

[00:39:23] No, this is what he says.

[00:39:24] He's like, my guys, I'm really sorry.

[00:39:26] Okay.

[00:39:26] He goes, pick me up and throw me into the sea and it will become calm.

[00:39:30] I know that it is my fault that this great storm has come upon you.

[00:39:34] So he's like, I'm sorry.

[00:39:35] You know, I brought this on you.

[00:39:37] This is not what I fucking intended.

[00:39:39] I was just trying to run away because I did not want to go be a prophet.

[00:39:43] Right.

[00:39:43] But, you know, God had other plans and he's willing to kill all of you to make me be a

[00:39:49] prophet.

[00:39:50] Yeah.

[00:39:50] Great guy.

[00:39:51] Yeah.

[00:39:51] But instead, the men did their best to row back to land, but they could not for the sea

[00:39:57] grew even wilder than before.

[00:39:59] Isn't that nice?

[00:40:00] They were like, I don't want to kill this guy.

[00:40:02] Jesus.

[00:40:02] I wouldn't want to be a fucking prophet either.

[00:40:04] Sure.

[00:40:05] Like, it's like if he's a draft dodger and they're like, I mean, okay, on the one hand,

[00:40:10] nobody respects a draft dodger.

[00:40:12] But then on the other hand, I'm not trying to go to war.

[00:40:15] I get it.

[00:40:16] I get it.

[00:40:17] My guy, let's, we'll try to protect you.

[00:40:19] We'll do our best.

[00:40:20] Right.

[00:40:20] I don't know that I want to die for you or anything, but I'll do my best.

[00:40:24] Sure.

[00:40:24] So they did their best to row back to land, but they could not for the sea grew even wilder

[00:40:28] than before.

[00:40:30] Then they cried out to the Lord.

[00:40:32] Oh, these dudes who had other gods, they were like, yo, Yahweh, please, Lord, do not

[00:40:40] let us die for taking this man's life.

[00:40:43] Do not hold us accountable for killing an innocent man for you.

[00:40:48] Lord have done as you pleased.

[00:40:49] Right.

[00:40:50] So they're like, I guess we have to kill him so we can live.

[00:40:52] But I'm not trying to have Yahweh come after me for killing them.

[00:40:56] Right.

[00:40:56] Like, I just want to not die, please, sir.

[00:40:59] Yeah.

[00:41:00] Right.

[00:41:00] So then they took Jonah and fucking threw him overboard because what else can you do?

[00:41:04] Right.

[00:41:05] And the raging sea indeed grew calm.

[00:41:08] At this, the men greatly feared the Lord and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and

[00:41:13] made vows to him because always fear the Lord.

[00:41:16] Right.

[00:41:16] That's what I'm getting out of this.

[00:41:18] If you threw somebody overboard and you thought that that was the issue and then everything

[00:41:22] fixed itself.

[00:41:23] Mm-hmm.

[00:41:24] That's pretty substantial.

[00:41:27] Mm-hmm.

[00:41:27] Now, look.

[00:41:28] Timing though.

[00:41:29] I don't think, right, right, right.

[00:41:31] But I don't think that that actually happened.

[00:41:33] Right.

[00:41:34] But if that happened, I could see why people would be like, oh shit.

[00:41:39] Sure.

[00:41:40] You know what I mean?

[00:41:40] Sure.

[00:41:41] That's a valid reason to be scared of a God, I suppose.

[00:41:46] Okay.

[00:41:47] Right?

[00:41:47] But I just love that they were like, you're not my God or anything, but I do fear you

[00:41:52] and I am going to sacrifice to you and please don't get me.

[00:41:57] I'm still going to, you know, pray to my God.

[00:42:00] Well, no, I mean, I think that in the end there, but when they saw the power of this

[00:42:04] God and like that he did relent after throwing this guy overboard.

[00:42:07] Right.

[00:42:07] Yeah.

[00:42:08] That they're like, oh shit, this is, that's, that's the God.

[00:42:11] Okay.

[00:42:11] But here's the thing though, like as soon as he goes, oh, I'm, I'm from whatever place

[00:42:18] in Yahweh, you know, my God is the Lord.

[00:42:22] Right.

[00:42:22] And they were afraid.

[00:42:23] So they knew of this God already.

[00:42:27] They still had their own gods from their own lands and their own cultures and their own peoples.

[00:42:32] That's why they were like, where are you from?

[00:42:34] What God do your people pray to?

[00:42:36] Why aren't you praying to him?

[00:42:37] But they might've been fearful because they cast lots and it said that this guy's God was

[00:42:41] the one that was causing it.

[00:42:43] It might not have been just.

[00:42:44] No, that they talked about that before.

[00:42:47] Okay.

[00:42:47] They were afraid of his God before they drew lots.

[00:42:51] Got it.

[00:42:51] Okay.

[00:42:52] Yeah.

[00:42:52] So they were like, oh fuck.

[00:42:54] Sure.

[00:42:55] Okay.

[00:42:55] So now there's one verse left and it is often placed in the second chapter because it

[00:43:03] kind of goes with it.

[00:43:04] Okay.

[00:43:05] I'm just going to read it anyway.

[00:43:06] Sure.

[00:43:07] Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah and Jonah was in the belly of the whale.

[00:43:13] I'm sorry.

[00:43:13] Belly of the fish three days and three nights.

[00:43:15] The end.

[00:43:16] Oh, there we go.

[00:43:18] Yeah.

[00:43:18] I mean, now he's enough.

[00:43:19] He's going to a goddamn giant fish for three days and three nights.

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:22] Right.

[00:43:22] Okay.

[00:43:23] Yeah.

[00:43:24] Have you ever heard the term?

[00:43:26] The now you're in the belly of the whale.

[00:43:28] Yeah.

[00:43:28] That's where it comes from.

[00:43:29] Yeah.

[00:43:30] All right.

[00:43:31] Well, I mean, this is a good story.

[00:43:34] Yeah.

[00:43:34] Like I'm better than what we've been reading.

[00:43:37] Right.

[00:43:37] So.

[00:43:37] And it ended on a cliffhanger and I want to know what's going to happen next.

[00:43:41] Oh, I do too.

[00:43:42] Yeah.

[00:43:42] So this is a good story.

[00:43:43] Right.

[00:43:44] So.

[00:43:44] Don't get me wrong.

[00:43:46] It's not making me love the Bible.

[00:43:48] No, I, there hasn't been anything that's made me love the Bible.

[00:43:51] No, but it's, there are, there are some, there are some more tolerable stories than others.

[00:43:57] So.

[00:43:57] I'm not hating this section.

[00:44:00] Right.

[00:44:00] Right.

[00:44:01] I'm not dreading reading the next chapter.

[00:44:04] Sure.

[00:44:04] I'm like, what's going to happen?

[00:44:05] Right.

[00:44:06] I mean, obviously he's going to live.

[00:44:08] Right.

[00:44:09] I mean, yeah.

[00:44:10] We've got three more chapters.

[00:44:11] Yeah.

[00:44:11] It wouldn't be very fun or memorable if he died.

[00:44:14] I mean, to me it would, but what do I know?

[00:44:18] All right.

[00:44:19] Well, that was a chapter one of Jonah.

[00:44:21] Sure as fuck was.

[00:44:23] Which means that we will be back tomorrow with Jonah chapter two.

[00:44:27] All right.

[00:44:28] We'll see you then.

[00:44:29] Bye.

[00:44:29] Bye.