Jonah Chapter 3: Bible Study by Atheists

[00:00:00] Welcome to Sacrilegious Discourse.

[00:00:01] For this is what the Sovereign Lord says!

[00:00:03] Why do you need prophets to tell people who you are and what you want?

[00:00:07] If you can justify everything that the God of the Bible has done, then you can justify any of your behavior.

[00:00:14] A lot of this mentality is trickling into what is now mainstream right-wing Christianity.

[00:00:21] I am capable of empathy greater than this God of the Bible.

[00:00:26] This is a Bible that they tell kids.

[00:00:29] This is the good Lord.

[00:00:31] This is the good book.

[00:00:32] He is fantasizing about murder.

[00:00:36] Mass murder.

[00:00:37] Head over to SacrilegiousDiscourse.com right now to find out how to leave us a review or support us on Patreon.

[00:00:48] Wife!

[00:00:49] Do you know what we're doing today?

[00:00:51] Well, yesterday we read Jonah Chapter 2.

[00:00:54] Sure as fuck did.

[00:00:55] And in that chapter, let's see, Jonah was kind of realizing that he was in a bad spot.

[00:01:03] He was in a pickle.

[00:01:04] Yeah, yeah.

[00:01:05] I mean, he was really in a fish.

[00:01:07] He was in a fish.

[00:01:08] Yeah.

[00:01:10] Although I guess there might be some...

[00:01:12] Pickles in the fish?

[00:01:13] Well, no.

[00:01:14] I've heard some people say that maybe this whole thing was just like a vision.

[00:01:18] I've heard people talk about some other possibilities that...

[00:01:22] But anyway, literally speaking, he was in a fish according to the Bible, right?

[00:01:26] Was the fish pickled?

[00:01:28] I don't know.

[00:01:29] Was Jonah pickled?

[00:01:30] Yeah.

[00:01:30] I mean, I don't know.

[00:01:33] Okay.

[00:01:33] Anyway, as he was in there, he decided to give a prayer of thanksgiving to God.

[00:01:37] Yeah, as you do when you're stuck in a whale.

[00:01:39] When you're stuck in a fish, yeah.

[00:01:40] And then God's like, yeah, dude, I'm going to make the fish vomit you out on the right land.

[00:01:45] The end.

[00:01:46] That was it.

[00:01:46] That was Jonah chapter two.

[00:01:49] So...

[00:01:50] That chapter was so stupid.

[00:01:51] Yeah, it was really dumb.

[00:01:54] So anyway, that was Jonah chapter two, which means that today we're getting into...

[00:01:58] Jonah chapter three.

[00:02:00] All right, let's do this.

[00:02:01] Okie dokie.

[00:02:08] Let's hop into Jonah three.

[00:02:10] All right.

[00:02:12] Sorry.

[00:02:13] I'm feeling smart.

[00:02:14] You are wound up lately.

[00:02:15] I don't know what you're...

[00:02:17] What is up.

[00:02:18] Okay, here's the thing.

[00:02:19] I'm at a really dark place in my life right now.

[00:02:23] Uh huh.

[00:02:23] And I'm trying so hard to be happy that I'm overcompensating.

[00:02:28] Got it.

[00:02:29] See?

[00:02:29] What I'm saying?

[00:02:31] Yeah, I see what you're saying.

[00:02:32] All right.

[00:02:33] Um, yeah.

[00:02:34] Jonah chapter three.

[00:02:36] Don't worry.

[00:02:36] Wife is fine.

[00:02:37] Oh yeah, I'm sorry.

[00:02:38] I'm fine.

[00:02:39] Yeah.

[00:02:39] I'm at dark place like we all are.

[00:02:41] That dark hell of the prospect of what's going to happen to the world in the next four years.

[00:02:47] Got it.

[00:02:47] That's what I meant.

[00:02:48] Okay.

[00:02:49] All right.

[00:02:49] The one dark place.

[00:02:50] I was just trying to make sure that you didn't like leave people hanging like, you know, I'm

[00:02:53] in a...

[00:02:54] Whatever.

[00:02:54] So we got to...

[00:02:55] There we go.

[00:02:56] I hurt myself today.

[00:03:00] Like that?

[00:03:01] Something like that, yeah.

[00:03:02] Which version of that song do you like better?

[00:03:04] I don't even know what you're talking about.

[00:03:06] Nine Inch Nails or Johnny Cash?

[00:03:09] I hurt myself today.

[00:03:11] I mean, I'm always a fan of Johnny Cash, so...

[00:03:15] But I like Nine Inch Nails too, but obviously Johnny Cash did it first, so...

[00:03:19] Well, I mean, it was his...

[00:03:20] No, it was their song.

[00:03:21] Wait, no, it was their song.

[00:03:22] It was their song, but he did it better.

[00:03:24] So yeah.

[00:03:25] I don't know.

[00:03:25] Yeah.

[00:03:26] I don't know.

[00:03:26] It was tragic.

[00:03:28] It was hard.

[00:03:28] Yeah.

[00:03:29] Johnny Cash did a great job with it though.

[00:03:30] That made me cry.

[00:03:31] Like all the tears.

[00:03:33] Okay.

[00:03:33] But yeah, that's not what I'm...

[00:03:34] I'm not that.

[00:03:35] Okay.

[00:03:35] Okay.

[00:03:36] Yeah.

[00:03:36] All right.

[00:03:36] So I'm going to read this.

[00:03:38] Ready?

[00:03:38] I'm ready.

[00:03:39] Then the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time.

[00:03:42] A second time.

[00:03:43] Right?

[00:03:44] After he got vomited out.

[00:03:45] He's vomited out.

[00:03:46] Okay.

[00:03:46] Yeah.

[00:03:47] And this is what he said.

[00:03:47] He goes, go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you.

[00:03:54] Okay.

[00:03:55] Jonah obeyed the word of the Lord and went to Nineveh as you do.

[00:03:59] It helps that he's out of the fish.

[00:04:01] Because he got vomited up on dry land.

[00:04:03] Yeah.

[00:04:05] Now, Nineveh was a very large city.

[00:04:08] Okay.

[00:04:08] It took three days to go through it.

[00:04:10] Wow.

[00:04:11] Like walking from one side to the other.

[00:04:13] Yeah.

[00:04:13] Three days to walk.

[00:04:15] Right.

[00:04:15] Yeah.

[00:04:16] But by car, how many would that be?

[00:04:17] Because I mean, you might take three days to walk across.

[00:04:19] It wouldn't take long.

[00:04:20] No?

[00:04:20] Yeah.

[00:04:21] I mean, it would take probably longer than that to walk across New York.

[00:04:23] Yeah.

[00:04:24] That's what I was thinking.

[00:04:24] Like, okay, like we live in Dayton, Ohio, the area.

[00:04:27] Right?

[00:04:28] Yeah.

[00:04:28] Like how far, how long would it take to walk across it?

[00:04:32] I don't know.

[00:04:33] I would say at least a couple of days at the very least.

[00:04:35] You think so?

[00:04:36] A couple of days?

[00:04:37] Maybe.

[00:04:37] Okay.

[00:04:37] Yeah.

[00:04:38] I don't know.

[00:04:38] So.

[00:04:38] It depends on what you consider Dayton, right?

[00:04:40] Yeah.

[00:04:41] That is true.

[00:04:42] Because if you do that, then it could take you many days.

[00:04:45] And we don't know how cities were set up back then.

[00:04:48] Maybe they were more sprawling, you know?

[00:04:49] Like instead of being very-

[00:04:51] Straightforward.

[00:04:52] They didn't have high rises and stuff.

[00:04:53] Yeah.

[00:04:53] You know?

[00:04:54] Yeah.

[00:04:54] Yeah.

[00:04:55] Well, do you consider Xenia and Yellow Springs part of Dayton?

[00:04:59] I mean, if I'm talking about generalizing the area.

[00:05:01] It depends who you're talking to.

[00:05:02] Yeah.

[00:05:02] Right.

[00:05:03] Like if you're in Dayton, obviously no.

[00:05:05] Right.

[00:05:05] But-

[00:05:06] I'd definitely say Dayton area.

[00:05:07] Yeah.

[00:05:08] Yeah.

[00:05:08] Okay.

[00:05:09] So anyways, really big fucking city.

[00:05:11] Took three days to walk all the way through it.

[00:05:13] Sure.

[00:05:13] Okay.

[00:05:14] Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city.

[00:05:18] So he's a third of the way across.

[00:05:19] Okay.

[00:05:20] Okay.

[00:05:21] And he proclaimed, 40 more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.

[00:05:26] 40, huh?

[00:05:27] 40.

[00:05:28] 40.

[00:05:28] I'm just saying.

[00:05:30] The Bible really likes 40.

[00:05:31] Mm-hmm.

[00:05:31] Yeah.

[00:05:32] And so he's like telling them this, like, it's gonna-

[00:05:36] I just wanted to let you know.

[00:05:39] Okay.

[00:05:39] Okay.

[00:05:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:05:40] The Ninevites believed God.

[00:05:43] Or-

[00:05:43] Or Jonah.

[00:05:45] I guess.

[00:05:45] But it says God, but I think they meant to say Jonah.

[00:05:47] Right.

[00:05:48] Because God's not talking to them.

[00:05:50] It's Jonah.

[00:05:51] Jonah.

[00:05:51] And Jonah's saying that God's talking to them.

[00:05:53] Mm-hmm.

[00:05:53] But they believed him?

[00:05:54] They believed him.

[00:05:54] Because this is weird.

[00:05:55] This is the Bible.

[00:05:56] Normally they don't believe the person talking.

[00:05:57] Oh, oh, yeah.

[00:05:58] I took the notes on this.

[00:05:59] This chapter is like, get the fuck out.

[00:06:01] Right.

[00:06:01] Okay.

[00:06:01] So yeah, totally against all odds and everything that we've read in the Bible up to now.

[00:06:07] Yeah.

[00:06:07] The people that were preached at believed the preacher.

[00:06:10] Huh.

[00:06:11] A fast was proclaimed and all of them, from the greatest to the least, put on sackcloth.

[00:06:17] Oh.

[00:06:17] They were like, fuck me.

[00:06:18] Wow.

[00:06:18] 40 days?

[00:06:19] Oh, I got a lot to repentin'.

[00:06:21] Yeah.

[00:06:21] Right.

[00:06:22] Right.

[00:06:22] When Jonah's warning reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal

[00:06:28] robes, covered himself with a sackcloth, and sat down in the dust.

[00:06:32] You know what you do.

[00:06:33] I'm going to call bullshit on this story.

[00:06:35] I think when they, remember in the intro part before chapter one, when I said that some

[00:06:41] believe this is satire?

[00:06:42] Right.

[00:06:43] This.

[00:06:44] This is what I think they were referring to.

[00:06:46] Okay.

[00:06:46] That, they're like, imagine all the people.

[00:06:51] No.

[00:06:52] Imagine if there was this one city and they actually fucking listened.

[00:06:56] Right.

[00:06:57] Imagine.

[00:06:57] Yeah.

[00:06:58] What do you think?

[00:06:58] Because it hasn't happened yet in the Bible.

[00:06:59] Right.

[00:07:00] That's what I'm saying.

[00:07:00] So yeah, satire all the way, baby.

[00:07:03] Okay.

[00:07:03] All right.

[00:07:04] Or at least like, let's pretend that there was a good city.

[00:07:08] Sure.

[00:07:08] This is what...

[00:07:08] What would that look like?

[00:07:09] Right.

[00:07:09] Well, they would put on sackcloth.

[00:07:11] They would believe the guy proclaiming the end of the world is nigh in 40 days, and they

[00:07:17] would put on sackcloth and sit in the dust.

[00:07:19] Got it.

[00:07:19] From the greatest to the least, including the king.

[00:07:21] Okay.

[00:07:21] All right.

[00:07:22] Yeah.

[00:07:22] So this is the proclamation the king issued in Nineveh.

[00:07:27] By the decree of the king and his nobles, do not let people or animals, herds or flocks

[00:07:32] taste anything.

[00:07:33] Because remember, they're doing it fast.

[00:07:35] Right.

[00:07:35] And you're going to stop your animals from eating.

[00:07:37] Yeah.

[00:07:38] Okay.

[00:07:38] Do not let them eat or drink.

[00:07:40] Oh, wait.

[00:07:41] That didn't work out very well.

[00:07:42] I thought the fast includes the drink.

[00:07:45] Because if you're not drinking...

[00:07:46] I mean, you've got to drink.

[00:07:47] You really got like...

[00:07:48] But it says eat or drink.

[00:07:49] But if you're not eating or drinking, you're not fasting.

[00:07:51] You're literally not intaking things that you intake.

[00:07:59] What?

[00:08:01] I'm not following.

[00:08:02] Okay.

[00:08:03] You're not fasting.

[00:08:04] You're merely like cutting off everything.

[00:08:09] That's different.

[00:08:10] Fasting is just not eating food.

[00:08:12] I thought fasting was not eating food, but you're still taking in liquids.

[00:08:15] Right.

[00:08:16] That's what I'm saying.

[00:08:17] You're just not eating food.

[00:08:18] Yeah.

[00:08:18] So if you cut off liquids as well, you're no longer fasting.

[00:08:22] You're doing something...

[00:08:23] You're dying quickly.

[00:08:23] Yeah.

[00:08:24] That's what I'm saying.

[00:08:25] That's what I was trying to get at.

[00:08:26] Okay.

[00:08:26] All right.

[00:08:27] All right.

[00:08:28] But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth.

[00:08:31] That'll...

[00:08:32] You're going to cover your animals in sackcloth even.

[00:08:34] Wow.

[00:08:35] Yeah.

[00:08:35] Okay.

[00:08:35] Come here, little chicken.

[00:08:36] Get this sackcloth on you.

[00:08:37] This must have been a very interesting scene, huh?

[00:08:39] Mm-hmm.

[00:08:40] Let everyone call urgently on God.

[00:08:43] Hello, 911.

[00:08:43] This is God.

[00:08:45] What's your emergency?

[00:08:47] Let them give up their evil ways and their violence.

[00:08:52] Okay.

[00:08:52] Do it.

[00:08:53] Who knows?

[00:08:54] Question mark.

[00:08:55] Right.

[00:08:55] God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.

[00:09:01] We were a fuckface this morning, but we got the message and...

[00:09:04] We got the sackcloth on.

[00:09:05] Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[00:09:06] I didn't mean to kill that guy.

[00:09:07] I'm just kidding.

[00:09:08] No, no, no, no.

[00:09:08] I'm good.

[00:09:09] I'm good.

[00:09:09] I'll be good now.

[00:09:10] Please don't burn me.

[00:09:11] Don't kill us.

[00:09:12] Yeah.

[00:09:12] I mean, I did have a lot of fun up until now, but I'm totally sorry.

[00:09:16] We're done now.

[00:09:17] We're done.

[00:09:17] Yeah.

[00:09:17] It's over.

[00:09:18] Yeah.

[00:09:19] When God saw what they did and how they turned from their evil ways, he relented and did

[00:09:24] not bring on them the destruction he had threatened.

[00:09:28] The end.

[00:09:28] Wow.

[00:09:29] Well, that's a first.

[00:09:31] Yeah.

[00:09:32] I mean, I don't believe it at all.

[00:09:34] At all.

[00:09:35] Look, there's a lot of things I don't believe in the Bible, right?

[00:09:38] Right.

[00:09:38] I mean, I don't believe most of it is true.

[00:09:40] Right.

[00:09:41] Agreed.

[00:09:42] But this story in particular.

[00:09:44] This is over the top.

[00:09:45] I mean, okay, look, we're talking about a dude that rode in a goddamn fish, got spit

[00:09:50] out by it, and now got an entire city a few days later to put on sackcloth.

[00:09:56] Okay.

[00:09:56] I have a question for you.

[00:09:57] Yeah.

[00:09:57] This is a doozy.

[00:09:58] Ready?

[00:09:59] Yeah.

[00:09:59] Okay.

[00:09:59] And you can only pick one, and you have to pick one.

[00:10:02] Which is more unbelievable, the whale in chapter two or the city in chapter three?

[00:10:12] Hmm.

[00:10:13] The whale.

[00:10:13] You think?

[00:10:14] Yeah.

[00:10:15] Because the city is people that could, could, if they were under enough distress, be convinced

[00:10:22] of something.

[00:10:23] Hmm.

[00:10:24] See, I was going the other way because I was thinking, well, no, not like him talking

[00:10:30] to God inside the whale and getting spit out and all that, but like a guy can get swallowed

[00:10:34] by a whale.

[00:10:35] A guy has been swallowed by a whale.

[00:10:37] Sure.

[00:10:37] Right, but they can't live.

[00:10:38] I mean, I don't know.

[00:10:40] No, I mean, scientifically, they can't live.

[00:10:42] No.

[00:10:43] But there is a guy who claimed it happened to him.

[00:10:44] But anyway, no, I totally agree with you.

[00:10:46] But a guy can get swallowed by a whale.

[00:10:49] Sure.

[00:10:49] Okay.

[00:10:49] And a guy can also claim he was swallowed by a whale.

[00:10:54] Right.

[00:10:54] Yeah.

[00:10:55] But there is no fucking way that he walked a third of the way into the city and was like,

[00:11:00] God's coming.

[00:11:00] And everybody just one, two, three, go was like, oh shit.

[00:11:04] Right.

[00:11:04] No way.

[00:11:05] Yeah.

[00:11:05] Yeah.

[00:11:06] So for me, like the same reason that you're like, well, no, this could happen.

[00:11:11] Like you're pulling for the whale being more unbelievable.

[00:11:14] I'm pulling for any people ever coming together on a dime.

[00:11:19] I still stick to the whale being the most unbelievable.

[00:11:22] You cannot get three people in a car to agree on a music station.

[00:11:28] You put these two things together and it's very unbelievable.

[00:11:30] It's beyond unbelievable.

[00:11:31] That's what I'm saying.

[00:11:32] Yeah.

[00:11:32] Both of them.

[00:11:32] It's ridiculous.

[00:11:33] Both of them were over the top.

[00:11:34] Yeah.

[00:11:35] You know what the most believable part of the story was?

[00:11:39] Chapter one, when he was like, fuck me, I'm not doing that.

[00:11:42] Bye.

[00:11:43] Right.

[00:11:43] Right.

[00:11:43] That is very believable.

[00:11:45] Yeah.

[00:11:45] That is believable.

[00:11:47] So.

[00:11:47] But this is, this is a fish story.

[00:11:51] Indeed it is.

[00:11:53] Yeah.

[00:11:53] So what do you expect?

[00:11:55] Oh, that's funny.

[00:11:56] All right.

[00:11:56] Well, that was Jonah chapter three.

[00:11:58] Sure as fuck was.

[00:11:59] Which means that, um, actually we're going to be back later today with.

[00:12:03] Jonah chapter four.

[00:12:05] And that will finish the book.

[00:12:06] Yeah.

[00:12:07] All right.

[00:12:07] We'll see you then.

[00:12:08] Bye.

[00:12:08] Bye.

[00:12:09] Okay.