Prophets vs. Priests: Holy Turf Wars, Clapbacks, and Clerical Catfights
đ Episode Summary:
What happens when self-proclaimed messengers of God go head-to-head with institutional gatekeepers in robes? Absolute biblical chaosâand weâre here for it. In this delightfully blasphemous bonus episode, our favorite husband-and-wife heretics dive into the messy theological distinction between prophets and priests. Spoiler: one screams in the wilderness, the other collects tithes in a temple. But can you be both? Turns out, yeah... sometimes. And it gets petty fast.
We unpack the biblical beefsâJeremiah calling a priest âTerror on Every Sideâ (ouch), Amos clapping back with a âyour wifeâs a whoreâ prophecy, and Micah straight-up nuking the entire clergy class for accepting bribes and screwing up justice. The line between divine inspiration and delusional ego has never been blurrier, especially when the institutionâs corrupt and the watchdogs might be tripping literal balls.
Expect hilarious rants, woodsy prophet cosplay ideas, and a total theological roast of anyone claiming to hear Godâs voice⊠especially if theyâre asking for your money. If youâve ever wondered whoâs more full of itâOld Testament priests or their rival prophetsâthis episodeâs for you.
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đ Topics Covered:
- âNot all prophets were priestsâbecause nepotism didnât have full coverage yetâ
- âJeremiah vs. Pashur: The holy name-calling editionâ
- âAmos drops a divine diss track: âYour wifeâs a prostitute, your kids are toastââ
- âMicah and Ezekiel throw fire at the entire religious establishmentâ
- âSamuel wasnât a literary prophetâjust a guy with bad luckâ
- âWhy prophets hid in bushes and priests hid behind blood ritualsâ
- âThe spiritual pissing contest that led to apocalyptic fanfic like Danielâ
đŹ Best Quote from the Episode:
"They often quote, unquote, receive visions, dreams, or divine encounters⊠Depends who you ask. Like, I could say that."
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