The Testament of Solomon
Sacrilegious DiscourseMarch 04, 202400:07:06

The Testament of Solomon

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Ah, buckle up, folks! This week's episode of "The Testament of Solomon" is a wild carpet ride through the foggy netherworld of biblical fanfiction. We're taking a deep dive into "The Testament of Solomon," a text so obscure it makes the Dead Sea Scrolls look like a tabloid. Prepare to be bamboozled by the tale of a king, his bling, and a whole lot of winged thingamajigs.

In our thrilling exploration, we discuss King Solomon's rumored side gig as a demon wrangler, with a heavenly bestowed ring that could give Sauron's jewelry a run for its money. Get ready to roll your eyes as we recount Solomon's supernatural shenanigans and his knack for putting demons to work on his temple project – talk about unholy labor practices!

Then, we take a celestial detour through ancient Egyptian stargazing, because why not throw some astrology into the mix? After all, what's a story about demon control without a sidestep into the zodiac?

And for the grand finale, we witness the not-so-shocking twist of Solomon's fall from grace. Spoiler alert: it involves a woman and a severe case of divine disappointment. Who could've seen that coming? (Hint: Anyone who's ever read a religious text.)

We wrap things up with a heartfelt 'thank you' to our patrons, the brave souls funding our foray into the biblically bizarre. Next time, we promise to tackle the prophet Jeremiah – because apparently, we just can't get enough of these dusty old tales.

So there you have it, the episode where we try to sell you on the idea that King Solomon was the original Ghostbuster. Don't forget to join us on Patreon, because, let's face it, you're not going to find content this weirdly specific anywhere else.

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