Ezekiel Chapter 28: Bible Study by Atheists

[00:00:00] Welcome to Sacrilegious Discourse. For this is what the Sovereign Lord says! Why do you need prophets to tell people who you are and what you want? If you can justify everything that the God of the Bible has done, then you can justify any of your behavior.

[00:00:15] A lot of this mentality is trickling into what is now mainstream right wing Christianity. I am capable of empathy greater than this God of the Bible. This is a Bible that they tell kids this is the good Lord. This is the good book.

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[00:01:39] Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. My wife. Do you remember what happened yesterday and where the hell we are today? Well, yesterday we read Ezekiel chapter 27. Sure as fuck did. And in that chapter, God was a God or somebody was lamenting.

[00:02:37] Ezekiel, I'm not sure who it was. I think it was God though. They were quoting the other people in the other cities, the other kings. Got it. Well anyway, they were lamenting the destruction of tear. Tire. Tire. I always screw that up.

[00:02:51] I want to say tear is so bad. So do I but it's tires. It's just nice. Tire. Yeah. But they were talking about how tire is a ship and how all these things are parts of the ship and then God's going to sink the fuck out of it.

[00:03:03] Yeah. That's pretty much, I think all it was. And then everybody was scared and also like, deeem. Yes. I just realized I had the setting wrong on the mic. So if you guys heard a click, that's what it was. Click, click. My mic sounds nice.

[00:03:22] So anyway, that was Ezekiel chapter 27. Sure as fuck was. Which means that today we're getting into. Ezekiel chapter 28. All right, let's do this. Okie dokie. All right, we are hopping into Easy Kyle chapter 28. Or as I like to call it, Ezekiel chapter 28. Big E, here we go.

[00:03:50] All right. The word of the Lord, guess what it did? It came to him. It came to me. It did. That's right. Me being Ezekiel. Right, yeah. Son of man. I'm not going to fucking worm. Say to the ruler of Tyre, this is what the sovereign Lord says.

[00:04:05] In the pride of your heart you say, I'm a God. I sit on the throne of a God in the heart of the seas. That's highfalutin. Yeah. You can't talk like that when y'all weighs about. Well, you don't want y'all way to hear that.

[00:04:18] Again, this guy Ezekiel is going to come to him and tell him, hey, there's this other God that I hear and you can't. Yeah. And you can't act like you're a God on that seat there that you. You're only human, so you shouldn't anyways. Right, right.

[00:04:31] But also on top of that, my secret little sky daddy, he's going to get pissed. I mean, I would just think the person is crazy if they told me that. What is wrong with you man? Yeah.

[00:04:42] But you are a mere mortal and not a God though you think you are as wise as a God. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I would wager that I might be wiser than God. I'm not going to argue with a king though. How about that? No. No.

[00:04:59] Well, maybe if it's a nice king and they're willing to argue with you. That's not an argument. That's a debate. Oh, okay. All right. A debate is where you can argue without getting in trouble. Sure. And also there's less personal anger involved. Okay.

[00:05:14] It might get heated, but it doesn't get like you son of a bitch. I honestly don't think that Ezekiel ever went and talked to the King of Tyre. I don't either. I mean, this just sounds kind of ridiculous.

[00:05:25] Like I just think they want to pretend like it happened and they're like, this is what Ezekiel would have said. They're doing like what's her name? The lady that shot her dog? Oh, the... Noam Christine Noam. Yeah, Christine Noam, yeah. Yeah. Like I totally met Kim Jong-un.

[00:05:42] Kim Jong-un. Thank you. Is it Eun or... I can't remember which one it is. Kim Jong-un. Yeah, I think that's right. And they were like, did you though? And she was like, I'll speak to my editor. Oh, so then you did it. Yeah. That's what Ezekiel is like.

[00:05:57] I totally talked to the King of Tyre. Prove I didn't. But how did that pass a fucking editor though? Like seriously though, it passed the editor because she told him to put it through regardless. Yeah. Like did this actually happen? And she was like, yeah, it absolutely did.

[00:06:12] Yeah. From what I understand off the record there are several people being like we totally told her to take it out and she wouldn't listen. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. Anyways, so... What's the incentive in this day and age, right? Yeah.

[00:06:24] Because Trump can say whatever the fuck he wants and gets away with it and most of the Republicans can say whatever the fuck they want and get away with it. Because generally their news sources that their people listen to will just back them up.

[00:06:35] Oh, you know, I was listening to somebody that made a good point. Every year or two they will totally turn on one of their own to throw as like a sacrifice to the gods. And remember like a couple years ago it was Madison Cawthorn, right?

[00:06:50] When he was like they totally have, you know, orgies and cocaine parties. Well, I felt like he was touching on something that would have threatened the rest of them at some level. Yeah. And they were like no, get this fucker out of here. Yeah. But it's true though.

[00:07:04] Like they totally just, you know, run the bus over one of them and they're like, here you can have this one and now we can pretend, look, we totally, you know, have our norms. We don't shoot dogs. We don't have orgies. We're great.

[00:07:17] Like the bar is so fucking low. Not that I'm against having orgies if that's your fucking thing, whatever. Sure. I'm not into it but you know, you do you. Consentually. Right. Yes. So anyway, God is still talking, okay? He's like or he's telling Ezekiel to say

[00:07:34] to King Tire, are you wiser than Daniel, whoever the fuck that is that we haven't met yet but we're going to eventually I think. Is that a profit? Is it gonna be a profit? I think so. Okay. I think so. Some dude, I don't know.

[00:07:47] This dude named Daniel, are you wiser than him? Is no secret hidden from you? By your wisdom and understanding, you have gained wealth for yourself and amassed gold and silver in your treasuries. I mean by the way they describe Tire, they

[00:08:00] seem to be doing pretty well for themselves. Yeah, I was king of Tire and that was my place. I feel pretty good about myself. Right. Created, you know. Yeah, I mean it sounds like capitalism is working fine for him. Yeah. Honestly, by your great skill in trading, see

[00:08:15] capitalism, you have increased your wealth and because of your wealth, your heart has grown proud. I mean I see. And can you blame him though? Like I'm just saying it's why wouldn't you? When I am good at something my heart also grows proud.

[00:08:29] Yeah, and I think you know like that's part of self-confidence right? Now I don't. Why shouldn't you be proud of something that you're accomplishing? I don't go around saying I'm a god. No, but we're also taking Ezekiel slash God's word for this in the book. Right.

[00:08:43] And we don't know. That he's a swagger in SOB. Right, we don't actually know that that's what he was. Maybe they just consider the fact that he has any. Success? Yeah, any success and he doesn't give that success up to God. That's the.

[00:08:54] Therefore he's a swaggering son of a bit. Yeah, that could be the whole reason they said that. When really like think about this everybody comes to this poor in trades right? So it's already been established as an excellent hub, right? Everybody knows they're getting a

[00:09:09] fair deal or whatever and from all over the world as they know it. Yeah, right? So it's a good place to go and they're getting introduced to other people for all we know it's actually like a really nice place. Yeah, you know, and they're like

[00:09:23] you're you're not doing Judaism so you fucking suck. No, we talked about in the last episode if it wasn't for like the slavery happening, you know that apparently was being traded in that city as well. I forgot about it sounds like it would be kind of an interesting

[00:09:38] hub in the ancient world to go visit. There was a lot of shit going through that port apparently. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about the slavery that is less impressive. That's happened in recent history even here in the United States so I mean gross.

[00:09:52] I'm not excusing it there is no excuse for slavery but it was something that was part of our past and passed and passed and passed so I mean it's you know let's not pretend it's not there. Right? Therefore this is what the sovereign Lord says. Okay.

[00:10:06] Because you think you are wise as wise as a God. I am going to bring foreigners against you. The most ruthless of nations they will draw their swords against your beauty and wisdom and pierce your shining splendor. I mean he's basically saying how dare you be pretty and

[00:10:23] successful fuck you for that. But we were proud of Solomon being wise. Wise was a very good thing when Solomon was that. Yeah. So why do we have a problem with this guy? It's strictly I think because he does not worship Yahweh. Yeah. Like that's all it is.

[00:10:38] It has nothing to do with how wise he actually is or how successful he actually is. It says beauty and wisdom. So it's like yeah they're successful, beautiful and wise. Right. This all comes down to the jealousy that God has in the Bible.

[00:10:54] This all comes down to the jealousy that God has with regard to how these people get treated right? So if they do not worship Yahweh then Yahweh is going to kill them. Yep. Period. If we can't have your port then no one can. Fuck it. Right.

[00:11:10] Is what the people are saying. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. All right so they will draw their swords against your beauty and wisdom and pierce your shining splendor. They will bring you down to the pit and you will die a violent death in the heart of the seas.

[00:11:23] Will you then say I'm a God in the presence of those who kill you? Listen, I have to tell you something. If someone asks if you're a God. You're supposed to say yes. You say yes. Right but not if somebody is going to... That's from Ghostbusters.

[00:11:40] Yeah, no I know. I know. But generally I think you're not going to exclaim that you're a God in front of someone who's going to kill you. Oh my God bitches. Oh my God. That's not how that works. I got a sword against your throat.

[00:11:53] You're going to say you're a God now? Absolutely not sir. Right. You are pretty and smart. Please remove your sword. I will suck your dick. Thank you for not killing me. Have a nice day. You will be but a mortal, not a God in the hands of

[00:12:08] those who slay you. Well no shit, dipstick. Yeah. You will die the death of the uncircumcised at the hands of foreigners. I just can't help but think about how God worries about what his neighbors think. So like this guy is concerned that this guy is

[00:12:26] not going to call himself a God or be proud in the moment of his death that he is this great, great thing. Right? And then he's worried about his dick. But he's also worried about what his neighbors think. Like this God, this supposed God, thinks that

[00:12:41] he has to worry about what the neighbors think but he's mad at you for not worshiping him and also kind of being condescending to you because you won't hold that same image up at the time of death. Right. Fuck you. You have said

[00:12:59] that you worry about what your neighbors think with regard to how you act. You're a childish. And you claim to be a God too. So fuck off, Yahweh. It's true. It's true. Fuck off, Yahweh. I'm just still caught up in the you will die the death

[00:13:13] of the uncircumcised. I'm like, hold on, hold on. We're talking about you're about to kill him and you're worried about his dick. Yeah. Why are we talking about people's dicks all the time? I mean to be fair, what was that story from early on when the

[00:13:29] it was one of the people from this other clan raped girl from the other from there was one clan that raped a girl from another clan and then all her brothers came. Yeah. It was a Delilah. Was it Delilah? Yeah, I think so.

[00:13:42] And then all of her brothers came and they had them all get circumcised and then they killed him. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry but like I would have rather died uncircumcised than do all that shit. Yeah. That was fucked up. That was fucked up. I don't blame the brothers

[00:13:56] because I get it. Kind of. They raped her sister. Yeah, right. I mean there's I don't know about murder but still like they kind of had some of that coming. Look, you could be not the murderer but you know just bad shit. You can be

[00:14:11] anti-murder and still know yourself if somebody touches one of your loved ones you might go on a murderous rage against them. Right, yeah. Those are two separate things because murder willy-nilly like punishing somebody over there like that's that's for a third party to decide.

[00:14:30] You know what I mean? Right. Like that's why we don't allow vengeance. I think oftentimes you know when somebody does something like that especially in the modern times right? Mm-hmm. If you if you if somebody did something to someone you love and then you went out and

[00:14:45] you got them back in the worst way possible then you know what the consequences could be. Right. And you're you've already accepted that possibility. Right, right. So I I'm going down for murder. Yeah, right. Yeah. And sometimes it feels like that might be worth it.

[00:15:01] It's worth it I think to some people. Yeah. So I don't want to judge because that is you know there's some horrible shit that other people do and they definitely are bad people. So I mean let's say that something happened to kid right? Right.

[00:15:15] I don't know that either one of us could be held back. Right. Honestly. Yeah. I don't think I have a hard time. It's definitely a hard place to put yourself in a personal situation. Yeah. It's easy to always it's always easier to judge from afar. Uh-huh.

[00:15:31] But when it affects you personally that's a lot different so. I want to be a person who says I don't seek vengeance but I know for a fact if you touched my kid I would come after you. Right. I'm not proud of that but I'm not also

[00:15:45] embarrassed or ashamed of it either. It just is what it is. Right. You know. I'm not embarrassed. God says you'll die the death of the uncircumcised at the hands of foreigners. I have spoken declares the sovereign lord. Have you? Yeah. And guess what happened actually he didn't

[00:16:02] Ezekiel spoke because you talked to him. I know. So. But guess what happened next? I don't know what. The word of the lord came to me. Son of man. Yeah. Mere human. Yeah. Fuck him worm. Take up a lament concerning the king of Tyre and say to him

[00:16:19] Lord says we just lamented the city. We lamented the city now lamenting the king. Okay. Right. You were the seal of perfection full of wisdom and perfect and beauty. Wow. You were in Eden the garden of God. Wow. Every precious stone adorned you carnelian chrysalite and emerald

[00:16:41] topaz onyx and Jasper lapis lazuli turquoise and barrel your settings and mountings were made of gold on the day you were created they were prepared. You were anointed as a guardian cherub for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God. Hold on.

[00:17:02] That God ordained this king of Tyre. Sure. Why not? I don't even like is he supposed to be Jewish? I don't really understand what's going on here. Like I know that they started stretching their influence a little bit but like I didn't feel like it stretched to

[00:17:17] like the port cities and I wouldn't I don't know. I don't feel like this is correct exactly. I have no idea. Why is he claiming ownership of this person when it doesn't sound like this guy even like hardly knows who God is. Right. You know.

[00:17:30] He doesn't sound like a fan of Yahweh or even maybe like he knows who the fuck Yahweh is. Right. If he's walking around going my city is awesome. I'm a God. He obviously doesn't care at the very least. Right. So I don't know. He's God saying

[00:17:44] you walked among the fiery stones. You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created to wickedness was found in you. Hmm. Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence and you sinned. Okay. Your worldwide trade is what did it. Huh. I don't know.

[00:18:02] You're not supposed to spread out because it seems to me that the Israelites have spread in the fuck out and conquering and trying to sometimes. Yeah. Not right now. They're getting conquered at the moment. Well sure. It just depends on who you are at any given moment

[00:18:18] as to whether you're supposed to be spreading out and conquering other lands. It really depends on who's doing the conquering at any given point. That's who God's going to back at that point because right now God is backing Babylon. He's like, yeah, they're my tool

[00:18:34] but he's also going to kill them later because right. You know that tool worked against his people. Right. So it's just convenient way to phrase the happenings of history. Yeah, I'm just I'm annoyed that this guy is literally in trouble for being successful. Yeah. You know that

[00:18:54] seems incorrect. If we're going to hate him I would like to know that he did some really bad shit. Not just that yeah, he ran a good hub. Yeah. I mean here's the thing. He sold slaves. He sold living human beings in his market. Yeah.

[00:19:10] But that is not what God's pissed about. Right. You know what I mean? Yep. And if it was, I would be like, yeah, get him. Good for you. Get him. Sure. At least that's a worthy that makes sense. Right. But that's not what it is. He's just like

[00:19:27] you successful SOB. I hate how good you are at your job. Stop being arrogant and calling yourself a God. Yeah. Yeah. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God and I expelled you guardian cherub from among the fiery stones. Your heart,

[00:19:42] I mean it sounds like God loves this guy more than he loved Solomon and stuff. Yeah. Right? What are the fiery stones? Do you have any notes on that or is that I'm just curious he keeps saying fiery stones. I don't know. Okay. I was just curious.

[00:19:56] I have no idea. I'll see if I can find anything for Q and A. Yeah. Your heart became proud on account of your beauty and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth. Spectacle of you before kings. Nah, nah.

[00:20:11] By your many sins and dishonest trade you have desecrated your sanctuaries. So I made a fire come out from you and it consumed you and I reduced you to ashes on the ground in the sight of all who were watching. All the nations who knew you

[00:20:29] are appalled at you. You have come to a horrible end and will be no more. Okay. Was that the end? No, that's the end of that section. So I wanted to give it like a decent like... Got it. Got it, yeah. Okay. So remember how

[00:20:47] I said that there was a prophecy against Tyre that lasted for a couple chapters? Yes. And it started in like 24 I think or some shit like that? Right. So it's done now? Okay. But maybe it was chapter 26. I don't remember. Anyways, it went on for a few chapters.

[00:21:03] Now we're done talking about Tyre. Okay. So we're moving on to a new section. Sure. Okay. So guess what? What? The word of the Lord came to me. Did it? It did. Again. Again. Some more. Got it. Son of man. Yummy or human. You fucking worm.

[00:21:23] Set your face against Sidon. Prophecy against her and say, this is what the sovereign lord says. I'm against you, Sidon. Who the fuck is Sidon? I don't know. S-I-D-O-N. It might be Sidon. I don't fucking know. I don't recall. It doesn't feel like we have.

[00:21:38] This is some city that you don't like. Sure. And among you, I will display my glory. You will know that I'm the lord. You can't display your glory, man. No one wants to see that shit. Everybody loves his glory. Mmm, look at that glory. Yum, yum.

[00:21:52] You will know that I'm the lord when I inflict punishment on you and within you and prove to be holy. Mmm. Every time you're in me, I don't think you're holy. That is not a thing that happens. No. I will send a plague upon you. Whoa!

[00:22:08] And make blood flow in your streets. Whoa! Yeah, this is getting, yeah, I mean like normal actually. Yeah. Yep. I don't know why I just reacted that way. I mean... He's sending another plague. Holy shit! Okay. The slain will fall within you.

[00:22:24] The sword against you on every side. Then you will know... That my name is the lord? That I am the lord. Yeah. Yeah. No longer will the people of Israel have malicious neighbors who are painful briars and sharp thorns. Yeah, that fucking... Wait, no longer will

[00:22:40] who have painful... Who? Israel? No longer will the people of Israel have these malicious neighbors who are painful briars and sharp stones. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. We're talking... We... Israel is going into exile as well. Yeah. They've been conquered as well. Yeah. They don't have neighbors

[00:22:57] because they're conquered. What the fuck? But you laid ways to fucking Jerusalem. Yeah. And you're sitting here talking about worrying about their neighbors. Well, sometimes you have to take your dog out to a gravel pit and you have to shoot it, right? And then you're in the mood

[00:23:13] to shoot other animals while you're at it. So then you go get that billy goat that's been bugging you all these last few days. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so then you're like, flug it. And you take that billy goat out to the same gravel pit

[00:23:24] and you shoot it too. Hashtag true stories for what was her name again? Kristi Noem. Kristi Noem. Yeah, so clearly she got that from this portion of the Bible where God was just like, I'm in a killing mood. I got my gun loaded. I shot that dog.

[00:23:38] I mean, that Israel. Right. And now I'm going to shoot this goat called Sidon. Yeah. Okay? Yeah. Okay. Then they will know that I am the sovereign Lord. This is what the sovereign Lord says. Yeah. When I gather the people of Israel from the nations

[00:23:52] where they've been scattered, I will be proved holy through them in the sight of the nations. Da, da, da, da, da, da. So this is all about the homecoming. Yeah. Like he's going to kill everybody, including his people. Mm-hmm. And then he's going to scatter

[00:24:07] some of those people. But they're all going to come back and when they come back because they're going to be so holy and wonderful at that point because God will have changed their hearts and made them these most wonderful people who are probably so holy

[00:24:19] that you just can't even see straight. You probably should see straight though because you've got to stay on that straight path. But that's when they're going to know that his name is the Lord. Yeah, that's... And that's when they're going to know that he is God.

[00:24:34] Yep, they will never tell them. That's the time. That's the one. Yep. Then they will live in their own land, which I gave to my servant Jacob. They will live there in safety and will build houses and plant vineyards and all their Lego sets will go together

[00:24:49] and they'll have the one that you can't find anymore except on eBay. And it's going to be so groovy. It's going to be holy and nice. They will live in safety when I inflict punishment on all their neighbors whom aligned them. Yeah. And there's going to be Barbies

[00:25:05] and cabbage patch dolls and there's going to be no clothes are too big. All of your pants fit just right and you can just always have enough water but also Dr. Pepper because why not? And chocolate for everybody and the streets are filled with cheese.

[00:25:27] There are no cats in America. Oh, sorry. I got carried away there, didn't I? A little bit, a little bit, yeah. Then they will know that I am the Lord their God. The end. Ah, okay, okay. It occurs to me

[00:25:40] that if he's going to kill all the neighbors who's going to be there to see that he... Nobody. Okay. Yeah. Fuck neighbors. We don't need neighbors. I mean, I'm just saying like if he wants people to know that he is the Lord,

[00:25:53] who's going to be left to know that he is the Lord other than... His own people. That's all he needs. Okay, okay. And they will know. But it seems to care a lot about what other people think even though he's going to kill them all. Well...

[00:26:04] So it's really weird to me. It's almost like this shit don't make no sense and that it just is very topsy-turvy. Yeah. And what's that word where sometimes it says one thing but then it contradicts itself and says something else?

[00:26:21] I'm not going to be able to come up with it in a timely manner here because I don't know what you're talking about exactly. Well, it's... I said it. It's contradictions. Oh. Okay. It's God's always wrong. Got it, got it, got it. Perfect, yeah. All right.

[00:26:38] So was that all we got for today then? That's all we got and it was more than a fucking enough. All right. Well, that was Ezekiel chapter 28. Sure as fuck was. Yes. Yeah. So we will be back tomorrow without... We're not doing a live tomorrow, guys.

[00:26:53] Just a reminder, we're not doing a live and we might be changing some schedules with lives in the future but we will be back tomorrow with... Ezekiel chapter 29. All right, we'll see you then. Bye. Hey, wife, I guess that's the end. But husband, that's just sad.

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