Isaiah Chapter 17:
Join us as we plunge headfirst into the cryptic world of biblical prophecies, focusing specifically on Isaiah Chapter 17. Be prepared to giggle as we stumble through the labyrinth of perplexing metaphors and ominous predictions. The episode delves into the foretold destruction of Damascus and the curious allegory of Ephraim's fortified city vanishing into thin air.
With our characteristic humor, we attempt to unravel the hidden meanings behind the abundance of olives and grapes in the text. The episode questions whether these fruits are really just stand-ins for the inhabitants of these ancient cities or whether the authors were just particularly fond of Mediterranean cuisine.
Be prepared to laugh out loud as we explore the central role of divinity, grapes, and prophet Isaiah in these narratives. In an interesting twist, we ponder if the survival of grapes and olives through the ages is due to their alleged 'fear of God.' After all, who knew fruits had such complex theological beliefs?
This episode promises a hearty blend of history, culture, spirituality, and prophecy, all served with a side of sarcasm and humor. Tune in to laugh, learn and be utterly bemused by the complex and often baffling world of biblical prophecies. And if you're left scratching your head, don't worry, you're not alone! Isaiah Chapter 18 awaits us in the next episode - let's hope it's less fruit-heavy.
The Prophet guy Husband was discussing: https://youtube.com/shorts/y31HjnvpyBU?si=WD6n9I_dmTCqWL-N
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00:00 - Wife (Host)
Husband wife. Do you know where we are? What's happening, what's going on?
00:05 - Husband (Host)
Well, we just got done reading chapter 16 of Isaiah yesterday. We did and I believe we were still going on about punishing Moabites and being shitty to them and fucking them over and General crappiness towards the Moabites Is that? Is that about the gist of it? I?
00:20 - Wife (Host)
think so, like I think they're doing pretty good at the moment, but they shouldn't get too uppity, because something like that. Isaiah says God's gonna give him the smackdown.
00:30 - Husband (Host)
Right, we're gonna like decimate them or something, or they're gonna, they're gonna hate life or something. I don't. I don't know, it's not gonna be good, whatever it is.
00:38 - Wife (Host)
It wasn't perfectly clear why exactly, other than right.
00:45 - Husband (Host)
God doesn't like the Moabites right, that's my impression at least it's. Isaiah doesn't like the Moabites and he says that God doesn't like the Moabites, right.
00:53 - Wife (Host)
One of those things is true, right maybe Because profit but yeah, but also maybe true.
01:00 - Husband (Host)
It's only maybe true, because I don't really know how much I trust anything that I read in this fucking book.
01:04 - Wife (Host)
Well, not only that, but you were showing me a video about a prophet today, and some of these modern prophets are really fucking crazy. They're funny, they're secondhand, cringe man.
01:17 - Husband (Host)
They're, they're dangerous. Yeah, well dangerous and date. They're dangerous and they're. They're scary, yes, and they're only funny and so far as they're dumb.
01:27 - Wife (Host)
But yeah, and embarrassing like I was embarrassed for the guy that you were making me listen to. Yeah.
01:34 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, it's really bad. Yeah it's really fucking bad. I I'll try to find a link to one of his things, because it's it's something I've come across multiple times with this guy.
01:43 - Wife (Host)
01:44 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, and it's just, he's just really really bad. He's not okay, I don't even know his name, but it's just I think I cringe every time I see something by him. So I'll try to. I'll try to find a link and put in the show notes.
01:56 - Wife (Host)
Do it, do it.
01:57 - Husband (Host)
All right. So yesterday we did Isaiah chapter 16 sure as fuck did, which means that today we're gonna be doing Isaiah, chapter 17. You ready to get into this?
02:06 - Wife (Host)
I am let's do it. Okie-dokie. Okay, so Isaiah, chapter 17.
02:21 - Husband (Host)
Yes, here we go, here we go off to the races. Are we off to the races?
02:25 - Wife (Host)
a prophecy against Damascus okay, okay, yeah we're doing Damascus now.
02:31 - Husband (Host)
We're yeah, I'd be fine. Damascus, I'm worried.
02:34 - Wife (Host)
You should be, because they're about to go down. Hey, okay, see, that's how it starts. See, damascus will no longer be a city, but will become a heap of ruin.
02:50 - Husband (Host)
It's terrible the way you read. It was fantastic, Right, yeah.
02:56 - Wife (Host)
I would like that on a shirt see Damascus would no longer be a city, but will become a heap of ruins.
03:04 - Husband (Host)
What a terrible thing to say in the Bible, right yeah. Not, it's not cool man.
03:10 - Wife (Host)
The cities of a roar will be deserted and left to flocks, okay, which will lie down with no one to make them afraid.
03:21 - Husband (Host)
Oh, oh, okay, so wait, okay, so flocks, flocks of seagulls.
03:30 - Wife (Host)
What yeah? No, what are these? Flocks of exactly, but they are going to be whatever they are.
03:36 - Husband (Host)
They're not gonna be scared.
03:37 - Wife (Host)
They are not scared and they are gonna lie down. Okay, yeah the fortified city will disappear from Ephraim, poof poof and Royal power from Damascus. The remnant of a ram will be like the glory of the Israelites. Declare the Lord Almighty.
03:59 - Husband (Host)
04:00 - Wife (Host)
04:00 - Husband (Host)
04:01 - Wife (Host)
You got all that.
04:02 - Husband (Host)
I got it.
04:03 - Wife (Host)
Okay, in that day, the glory of Jacob will fade.
04:09 - Husband (Host)
04:10 - Wife (Host)
The fat of his body will waste away.
04:13 - Husband (Host)
Jacob, we're alluding to Israel here. I'm assuming right.
04:16 - Wife (Host)
04:17 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I'm just making sure.
04:18 - Wife (Host)
The fat of his body is going to waste away.
04:20 - Husband (Host)
Got it, okay yeah.
04:25 - Wife (Host)
They will harvest the standing grain, gathering the grain in their arms, as when someone gleams heads of grain in the valley of Raphame.
04:37 - Husband (Host)
I'm not familiar with what happens in the valley of Raphame.
04:41 - Wife (Host)
Well, apparently when someone gleams heads of grain, they stand up and take the standing ones and they hug that grain to them in their arms.
04:53 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I miss, okay, okay yeah.
04:57 - Wife (Host)
And when that happens.
04:59 - Husband (Host)
It's bad apparently.
05:00 - Wife (Host)
I guess, that's.
05:02 - Husband (Host)
I would think, though, that harvesting grain is a good thing.
05:04 - Wife (Host)
I would think that too.
05:06 - Husband (Host)
So I'm having trouble with this comparison here. Yeah, I don't know, but maybe they're talking about like they're cut. They got to cut down the grain, so maybe they're cutting down Israel, okay, but it goes on, okay, yet.
05:19 - Wife (Host)
Yet the seedlings will remain as when an olive tree is beaten beaten, beaten. Yes, Beaten. You know how you beat olive trees.
05:32 - Husband (Host)
Not, really no.
05:33 - Wife (Host)
Okay, well, but I mean.
05:34 - Husband (Host)
I can imagine like I guess, if there's a bunch of olives and you beat it, maybe they fall off.
05:38 - Wife (Host)
Yes, that is so like. I guess that's what happens. That's how they gather the olives. Okay, yes, all right, they beat the olive trees.
05:45 - Husband (Host)
I want to go visit olive tree-beating season. Me too, that would be interesting, mm-hmm.
05:51 - Wife (Host)
So leaving two or three olives on the top, most branches.
05:54 - Husband (Host)
God damn it.
05:55 - Wife (Host)
Four or five on the fruitful boughs.
05:58 - Husband (Host)
05:59 - Wife (Host)
Declars the Lord, the God of Israel.
06:01 - Husband (Host)
Okay, okay, uh-huh.
06:03 - Wife (Host)
In that day, in that day, you know, that day, the one where the olives get beaten. Uh-huh, and the harvesty gleaning.
06:11 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, the grain gets cut and carried. Yeah, okay.
06:16 - Wife (Host)
In that day, people will look to their maker capital M.
06:19 - Husband (Host)
06:20 - Wife (Host)
And they will turn their eyes to the Holy One of Israel. They will not look to the altars, the work of their hands, and they will have no regard for the ashirapoles and the incense altars, their fingers have made.
06:37 - Husband (Host)
Okay, so something's gonna happen. That's really bad, and there'll be three olives left on the top of the tree and five on the lower branches.
06:46 - Wife (Host)
The flowering boughs.
06:47 - Husband (Host)
And the grain will be carried in people's arms, and then the Israelites will give up a sheriff's. Yes Is that what I'm to understand here.
06:55 - Wife (Host)
That's what it sounds like to me.
06:56 - Husband (Host)
Is that about the gist of it?
06:57 - Wife (Host)
That's what it sounds like.
06:59 - Husband (Host)
06:59 - Wife (Host)
In that day.
07:00 - Husband (Host)
Yes, in that day.
07:01 - Wife (Host)
There's strong cities which they left because of the Israelites. Mm-hmm Will be like places abandoned to thickets and undergrowth.
07:12 - Husband (Host)
07:13 - Wife (Host)
But it seems like Are we destroying the?
07:16 - Husband (Host)
Israelites or are we destroying somebody else?
07:19 - Wife (Host)
And all will be desolation.
07:22 - Husband (Host)
07:23 - Wife (Host)
All will be desolation, okay.
07:25 - Husband (Host)
07:25 - Wife (Host)
I don't really know, because it sounded like things were going good.
07:28 - Husband (Host)
Right, but but they're bad. Apparently they're bad. What's going on? And DamascusI don'tokay I'm a little lost in this chapter. I gotta admit I am too. I'm having some trouble here.
07:41 - Wife (Host)
I don't really understand, because if they're doing good, who's doing good? I don't know Damascus.
07:50 - Husband (Host)
But isn't Damascus like not part of Israel right?
07:53 - Wife (Host)
07:54 - Husband (Host)
So umso it soundokay.
07:57 - Wife (Host)
But it sounded like they were doing right.
07:59 - Husband (Host)
And then olives.
08:00 - Wife (Host)
08:01 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, go ahead, go on Please.
08:03 - Wife (Host)
You have forgotten God, your Savior.
08:06 - Husband (Host)
I have forgotten what the fuck we're talking about.
08:09 - Wife (Host)
Well, the thing is, if they were giving up a shiropole, that sounds like they were doing a good thing. By God, right? They're like I'm.
08:19 - Husband (Host)
Right, but I think they're saying that in that day when God makes only some of them alive anymore because he's shaking the olive tree and cutting them down and shit like that, oh, in that day.
08:29 - Wife (Host)
This is an analogy.
08:31 - Husband (Host)
08:32 - Wife (Host)
Oh, it's not real grain.
08:33 - Husband (Host)
They're trying real fucking hard here, like they're really.
08:36 - Wife (Host)
It's not real olives and it's not real grain, obviously I didn't get that, Obviously I didn't get that. Awesome, I didn't. So okay. So he's killing a lot of them and only leaving a few behind.
08:49 - Husband (Host)
We're talking about murder still. Okay, this is God after all. I forgot about the murder, yeah, and so once they're all murdered, good and stuff, and then dead then, those few olives that are left, the Israelites got it. They're going to be like hey, these are Sharepals, we should maybe not worship them anymore, maybe.
09:09 - Wife (Host)
Remember how we're the only few still alive and we were doing bad things.
09:16 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, let's stop doing that.
09:18 - Wife (Host)
We should not do the bad anymore.
09:20 - Husband (Host)
And we should look at that guy over there with our eyes that we're not supposed to be able to look at the God guy.
09:24 - Wife (Host)
The God guy we should turn our eyes to him. Yes, that's what it said. We're going to turn our eyes to him. Yes, we're going to turn our eyes to the guy that we can't see. I didn't know that, like the people, were the olives, the people are the olives I didn't get that at first. I'm so sorry. I'm a little thick Sometimes I just need help, but that's why we read this together.
09:48 - Husband (Host)
Okay, okay, yeah.
09:50 - Wife (Host)
You have forgotten God, your savior. You have not remembered the rock, your fortress.
09:56 - Husband (Host)
You mean the one that Moses beat the water spurred out of?
09:59 - Wife (Host)
I have no idea, but it's a capital. Did you remember that, right you?
10:02 - Husband (Host)
beat a rock, and water comes out. That's a real thing. That didn't actually happen, but it said that it happened, right? I mean, they fought giants too, though, so whatever.
10:12 - Wife (Host)
Therefore, though, you set out the finest plants and plant imported vines, so you're bringing in immigrants. Remember Slaves and stuff.
10:24 - Husband (Host)
10:24 - Wife (Host)
So, though, you set out the finest plants and you plant imported vines, so you bring in people from afar.
10:31 - Husband (Host)
Are you sure, Is this still a?
10:34 - Wife (Host)
that's what I think. Okay, though on the day you set them out, you make them grow, and on the morning, when you plant them, you bring them to bud. Yet the harvest will be as nothing in the day of disease and incurable pain, see I think they're actually talking about plants there.
10:51 - Husband (Host)
Oh shit, yeah, I think you got that one backwards a little bit.
10:53 - Wife (Host)
Oh god damn it. So yeah, now they're saying apparently now that wait.
10:59 - Husband (Host)
They're going to be of nothing, though, right. Yeah, so like now that we've been decimated by God. Apparently somebody's been decimated.
11:07 - Wife (Host)
The olives and the people will be the olives and the grains have been decimated.
11:10 - Husband (Host)
And the people? That are people also.
11:12 - Wife (Host)
11:13 - Husband (Host)
They've been decimated. Okay, and then they're going to try to plant their vines that they imported. Apparently that's a lot of work to import those vines. They plant those imported vines and they become nothing.
11:24 - Wife (Host)
It's still going to be disease and incurable pain.
11:27 - Husband (Host)
You get killed a lot and then you get screwed over by God because your shit won't grow still.
11:32 - Wife (Host)
Right. I guess, maybe, but since you know this is coming, don't you just not waste your time then?
11:39 - Husband (Host)
But they don't know it's coming Well, I mean well, I guess Isaiah is prophesizing it, that's what I'm saying so technically. I guess they do know it's coming right.
11:45 - Wife (Host)
11:45 - Husband (Host)
If you listen to Isaiah.
11:47 - Wife (Host)
But there's probably a lot of prophets walking around saying shit, as we've discussed. So how do you fucking know? You know?
11:54 - Husband (Host)
based on the way Isaiah is saying this shit. I don't know that. A lot of people got it.
11:58 - Wife (Host)
I didn't. It's very confusing.
12:00 - Husband (Host)
I didn't get it I thought dude was talking about fucking olives man.
12:03 - Wife (Host)
Right, like what's going on here. One second he's talking about olives, but they're people. The next second he's talking about fucking grape vines that are actually grape vines.
12:11 - Husband (Host)
Yeah like what how am I supposed to keep track of this shit? I, I don't know maybe just say what you're gonna say, man, yeah we don't always need the parables.
12:20 - Wife (Host)
God damn it. Whoa to the many nations that rage. They rage like the Regencies. Okay the raging Cajun.
12:30 - Husband (Host)
12:31 - Wife (Host)
Isn't that a thing?
12:32 - Husband (Host)
I have no idea what you're talking about.
12:34 - Wife (Host)
12:35 - Husband (Host)
That sounds like a wrestler or something or a type of chips or something. Probably raging Cajun. I'm sure. I'm sure Lays has a raging Cajun.
12:45 - Wife (Host)
I have heard that somewhere, but I don't know where and I don't know what it is or right right. Okay, the raging Cajun. Anyway, whoa to the people's who roar. They roar like the roaring of great waters. Those roaring or worse, and those rage and ragers.
13:01 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, right, right.
13:03 - Wife (Host)
Although the people's roar, like the roar of surging waters, when he rebukes them, they flee far away, driven before the wind, like chaff on the hills, like tumbleweed before a gale. So so these people were yelling at God apparently they were like god damn it, this song.
13:24 - Husband (Host)
And then God shook the olive tree and they all ran away.
13:29 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, that's what it sounds like something like that. Yeah, okay, in the evening sudden terror Exploitation point. Yeah, okay in before the morning they are gone. Exclamation point.
13:42 - Husband (Host)
13:43 - Wife (Host)
13:45 - Husband (Host)
I'm still having trouble tracking what's going on here before the morning they are gone.
13:49 - Wife (Host)
exclamation point this is the portion of those who loot us the lot, of those who plunder us, the end.
13:57 - Husband (Host)
Oh. Okay what I Really? I really I'm very confused after this chapter.
14:05 - Wife (Host)
I did not really get all of that.
14:07 - Husband (Host)
I know that some people are not doing well after it. I know that some people died Apparently.
14:12 - Wife (Host)
Damascus is gonna do good for a minute, but then they're gonna get fucked right, but is it?
14:18 - Husband (Host)
but I can't even determine whether he's killing people from Damascus or Israelites or both.
14:24 - Wife (Host)
I think probably both or looters.
14:26 - Husband (Host)
Now I don't know, maybe looters are the only thing he's whoa. Whoa.
14:32 - Wife (Host)
I got whoa.
14:33 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, whoa man yeah.
14:36 - Wife (Host)
14:37 - Husband (Host)
That was yeah, I married an axe murder, yeah, yeah yeah.
14:50 - Wife (Host)
Right, yeah, yeah that's such a good movie.
14:53 - Husband (Host)
It is we need to make the kid watch it right, I think we have made them watch it at some point. I don't think we did we did because I know that they, they know the line hit move.
15:03 - Wife (Host)
No, they don't know, because we've quoted it and they always look at us like we're crazy. Okay and then we had to explain it and they were like what?
15:12 - Husband (Host)
I could still watch that scene in that movie and I will die laughing still funny it really is. It really is.
15:23 - Wife (Host)
There's a pipe and down. It's such a good movie. I mean it's if you think some sexy, I know you want my body, it's good.
15:36 - Husband (Host)
Oh my god, we've gone off the rails here now oh well, I mean, so I married.
15:40 - Wife (Host)
An axe murderer is really good. Yeah yeah, it's a great movie and and yeah and it starts off with six pence. None the richer.
15:55 - Husband (Host)
All I remember is the cup of coffee, like from the beginning woman, Whoa man, Whoa man we're gonna have to be careful here. We're getting into copyright in front of a plan.
16:06 - Wife (Host)
I don't think that there is any way that we could be mistaken.
16:13 - Husband (Host)
Is trying to imitate that not at all, not at all. So what are your thoughts on this chapter?
16:21 - Wife (Host)
God's a dick, I mean.
16:23 - Husband (Host)
That's usually our assessment on pretty much any chapter that, and I love grapes grapes are good, but apparently they won't grow if you're back then times, so the way back when the way back when yeah somehow they survived through the ages.
16:41 - Wife (Host)
That's some hearty grapes.
16:43 - Husband (Host)
It really must be, yeah it's probably because they they Work, they feared God. Some of them feared God and they lived the grapes feared God the grapes and the olives feared God. Huh, yeah, that's why we have grapes and olives today. People you should that's what that's, that's how that came to be.
16:59 - Wife (Host)
You should also fear the Lord.
17:01 - Husband (Host)
That's what I got moving on All right, so anyway, now that we're just being dumb, that was Isaiah, chapter 17 sure fuck wise and we will be back tomorrow with more grapes and Isaiah, chapter 18. All right, we'll see you guys then Bye.