Welcome, sinners and saints, to yet another divine journey into the thrilling pages of the Bible! This week, we delve into the prophetic pages of Isaiah, chapter 23, where we find God dishing out his signature smiting against all those cheeky chaps who thought they could give him the cold shoulder. We'll be unwrapping the doom and gloom prophecies about the obliteration of Tyre, but don't worry, we'll be serving it with a generous side of laughter, a dollop of pop culture, and a sprinkling of Monty Python references for good measure.
We also veer off the beaten path to discuss the unparalleled hilarity of Jimmy Kimmel's mean tweets, while stumbling upon a fascinating biblical verse about a city that takes on the oldest profession in the world. We'll even delve into the world of clever t-shirts and the profound philosophical message hidden in the lyrics of a biblical prostitute's song. Spoiler: It's not about self-love.
Stick around as we poke fun at the complex web of money in churches as described in Isaiah, chapter 23. But the fun doesn't stop there! We'll also be hosting engaging discussions on our Discord channel after the show and on every Tuesday at 10PM EST. We'll also have an upcoming Q&A on Saturday where we all get to put on our theology caps and dissect these biblical prophecies with the precision of a well-aimed divine lightning bolt. So, buckle up, because next up is Isaiah, chapter 24, and we guarantee it'll be a riotous blend of religion, entertainment, and belly laughs. This is biblical exploration like you've never experienced before – brace yourselves!
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00:00 - Wife (Host)
Husband Wife. Do you remember where we are and what the hell we're doing and what's going on with this Isaiah guy?
00:06 - Husband (Host)
Well, we just finished Isaiah, chapter 22.
00:09 - Wife (Host)
We sure spoke dead.
00:11 - Husband (Host)
And I think in the last episode we got confused.
00:17 - Wife (Host)
Sure.
00:18 - Husband (Host)
So I don't remember much, honestly, about it, other than they were talking about this guy. They got blown into another country and I can't even remember the first part. Oh, they were surrounded or something and they were captured before they were captured. Yeah, so yeah, there's lots of prophecies, some stuff like that. Yeah, prophecies, yeah, and they were a Vegas fuck.
00:41 - Wife (Host)
Very.
00:42 - Husband (Host)
Yeah.
00:43 - Wife (Host)
Yeah.
00:44 - Husband (Host)
So, having done chapter 22 yesterday, that means we are getting into what today.
00:50 - Wife (Host)
Isaiah, chapter 23.
00:51 - Husband (Host)
All right, you ready to do this? Yep, okay, all right, so we are hopping back into.
00:59 - Wife (Host)
Isaiah, chapter 23. And we got more oracles coming.
01:12 - Husband (Host)
Oh boy. See, here's the thing, though Wait more oracles, you mean like our prophecies? Oh, okay, okay.
01:18 - Wife (Host)
See, that's what I was just gonna say. Like, sometimes they're referred to as oracles and sometimes they're referred to as prophecies.
01:25 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, I thought oracles were people.
01:27 - Wife (Host)
Well, an oracle is a person, but you can also deliver an oracle which is a prophecy.
01:33 - Husband (Host)
Oh, okay.
01:34 - Wife (Host)
It's like prophecy is two separate words, but oracle covers both.
01:40 - Husband (Host)
Does that make sense? Sure, whatever. Yeah, just trust me, it's a thing.
01:45 - Wife (Host)
A prophecy against tear.
01:48 - Husband (Host)
Up against this is a city. Maybe Tire, Okay, tire T-Y-R-E yeah.
01:52 - Wife (Host)
Tire tear.
01:53 - Husband (Host)
Sure.
01:53 - Wife (Host)
I like tear.
01:54 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, tear.
01:55 - Wife (Host)
Okay, whale you ships of Tarshish for tire tear.
02:01 - Husband (Host)
Is that whale? I'm sorry.
02:03 - Wife (Host)
Whale.
02:04 - Husband (Host)
I can never tell if you're saying whale or whale when you say that Whale, whale, okay, whale, like crying and wailing. It's just that sometimes you jump into like a southern accent and so I can't really tell Right. So I have to ask.
02:18 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so he's telling the ships to whale like Timorn and Moan and Grown yeah right, okay, he's saying whale you ships of Tarshish for tear is destroyed and left without house or harbor. From the land of Cyprus, word has come to them. Be silent, you, people of the island and you, merchants of Sidon, whom the seafarers have enriched.
02:40 - Husband (Host)
Oh, there's this, wait the seafarers. Didn't we cover them back in?
02:44 - Wife (Host)
We did.
02:45 - Husband (Host)
Wasn't that that like vague group of people that no one knew exactly who they were?
02:50 - Wife (Host)
Like they just possibly sometimes came up. And that was back in like Exodus maybe, or somewhere in that time it was early on, it was early on.
02:58 - Husband (Host)
I don't know that they're referring to the same people, but it's interesting it is interesting. It came up sort of.
03:03 - Wife (Host)
Right. I just find it interesting that they're. The phrasing of this is always do this, you guys, do that, you guys.
03:12 - Husband (Host)
Right right.
03:13 - Wife (Host)
It is very interesting.
03:15 - Husband (Host)
Yeah.
03:16 - Wife (Host)
Just the phrasing.
03:17 - Husband (Host)
It is Sorry.
03:18 - Wife (Host)
Okay, we're continuing now. On the great waters came the grain of the shy whore, the not shy whore.
03:27 - Husband (Host)
Not a whore, that shy.
03:29 - Wife (Host)
The name of a city or something.
03:30 - Husband (Host)
Got it the shy whore.
03:32 - Wife (Host)
The harvest of the Nile was the revenue of tear and she became the marketplace of the nations. Be ashamed Sidon, you fortress of the sea, for the sea has spoken. I have neither been in labor nor given birth. I have neither reared sons nor brought up daughters. This is very poetic.
03:52 - Husband (Host)
Yeah.
03:53 - Wife (Host)
When word comes to Egypt. They will be in English at the report. Frontier Cross over to Tarshish Whale. You, people of the island, is this your city of revelry, the old, old city whose feet have taken her to settle in far off lands? Who planned this against here, the bestower of crowns, whose merchants are princes, whose traders are renowned in the earth? The Lord Almighty planned it to bring down her pride in all her splendor and to humble all who are renowned on the earth.
04:29 - Husband (Host)
So this is God again taking vengeance against people that do not worship Him, and that, and again, this is a prophecy, so it's something that's apparently going to happen not necessarily that has happened and because they are prideful and don't worship Him, and probably worship some sort of an idol or whatever, he's going to kill them. Sure, okay, I'm trying to clarify. It's very beautifully written, but it's also very dark and Murdery, murdery, yeah.
05:01 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, it's like Edgar Allan Poe kind of, and then they walked the dark hallway and he slipped the throats.
05:11 - Husband (Host)
You know what I mean.
05:13 - Wife (Host)
Like yikes Till your land, as they do along the Nile. Daughter Tarshish, for you no longer have a harbor. The Lord has stretched out His hand over the sea and made its kingdoms tremble. He has given an order concerning Phoenicia that her fortresses be destroyed. He said no more of your reveling virgin daughter Sidon, now crushed up, crossover to Cyprus. Even there you will find no rest. Is he like having these people just keep traveling everywhere?
05:48 - Husband (Host)
It seems that way, doesn't it Like?
05:49 - Wife (Host)
I'm not really following it.
05:51 - Husband (Host)
Well, and he's mentioning so many different places that are, you know, nearby, that I feel like this could you could say about any number of things that might have happened back in those days oh, that kind of happened. So that was real, that was a real prophecy that happened.
06:08 - Wife (Host)
It just it feels like he's following after them and the people are just like running with their hands in the air and they're like, ahhh, and the God is coming after them and like raising the town and knocking everything down and then the people move on to the next town, going ahhh.
06:24 - Husband (Host)
There's the God after us, and then the God knocks that next town down. I'm kind of imagining that scene in Money Python and the Holy Grail where the artist is drawing the monster and it's chasing them through the caves.
06:34 - Wife (Host)
Yes, yeah, yes exactly.
06:38 - Husband (Host)
And that's in regards to the Egyptians and the Ethiopians and Assyrians, right yeah.
06:42 - Wife (Host)
Look at the land of the Babylonians, this people that is now of no account. The Assyrians have made it a place for desert creatures. They raised up their siege towers. They stripped its fortresses bare and turned it into a ruin. Whale you ships of Tarshish. Your fortress is destroyed. Oh man, muah, muah, muah. At that time, tear will be forgotten for 70 years.
07:10 - Husband (Host)
Just 70 though.
07:11 - Wife (Host)
The span of a king's life.
07:13 - Husband (Host)
Okay, but why would we forget it, though I?
07:16 - Wife (Host)
don't know.
07:16 - Husband (Host)
Just I mean, like it's gonna fall and then we're just gonna forget about it instantly for 70 years.
07:21 - Wife (Host)
Remember how there used to be a town over there? No, remember how this road goes to this town, does it? I don't remember that.
07:31 - Husband (Host)
You'd be that one person that was like I know this was a thing, god damn it. I would I would be like what happened to tear? I know it was here. I really seems to have forgotten that this was a thing. What planet am I on?
07:41 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, that's true, and I would. I'm already just frustrated just thinking about it, because I'm always that person.
07:48 - Husband (Host)
Yeah.
07:49 - Wife (Host)
Like I wake up and the whole world has decided that they love or hate something and I'm like I didn't get that.
07:54 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, like Nickelback, yes, right.
07:58 - Wife (Host)
I woke up one day and everybody was just trashing on Nickelback and, like the internet hated them. And I'm like, oh, we hate Nickelback.
08:03 - Husband (Host)
But just for the record, tell them how.
08:05 - Wife (Host)
You hated Nickelback before everybody else hated Nickelback because you did not like his voice, because you are a hipster.
08:14 - Husband (Host)
I'm just saying. I just wanted to clarify that. You know I was. I was the original. You know Nickelback hater.
08:23 - Wife (Host)
Here's the thing I'm not saying. People can't hate Nickelback okay, right, right. It's just that I woke up one day and they were the butt of every joke.
08:32 - Husband (Host)
No, it's true, it's true.
08:34 - Wife (Host)
And it was very weird because we never talked about it, it just happened.
08:39 - Husband (Host)
But I have to say in their defense that after the fact, like they played into some of the memes with regard to them pretty well, Like there's that photograph one and like they've done some things that are pretty funny in response to that kind of stuff. So, I appreciate that.
08:52 - Wife (Host)
I appreciate that they don't mind being the butt of jokes, Right, no?
08:56 - Husband (Host)
I think that if you're gonna be the butt of a joke, you might as well be good humor about it, because it just wins you points.
09:01 - Wife (Host)
Well, it reminds me of that time when Obama first saw the meme of himself dipping a cookie that was too big into a glass of milk and he so he was like, ha, that's really funny because it goes, thanks, obama. So then, like the next scene is, showed him actually trying to dip it and he goes oh, thanks Obama. Thanks Obama, Like that's.
09:27 - Husband (Host)
great that's fucking funny. You should always own jokes made about you. You know, it's one of the most terrible things that I've seen. What's his name?
09:37 - Wife (Host)
Jimmy, no not Jimmy, jimmy Kimmel, jimmy Kimmel. But he does the mean tweets.
09:42 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, every once in a while someone comes on there and they read a tweet about them and they get really pissed off.
09:47 - Wife (Host)
They're so mad and they're like fuck you.
09:50 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, I'm like no, no, no, no, no, that's not the correct response.
09:53 - Wife (Host)
No, yeah, like the best ones are the ones that are like, yeah, that's probably true. Or they say something like ha, gotcha, that's back. Like you can only make a comeback if it's a good comeback, otherwise you gotta just you know, yeah, I probably do smell like corn.
10:12 - Husband (Host)
Right, right, yeah, you know. Yeah, I can see that right.
10:14 - Wife (Host)
Like does my nose look like that? I never looked like you know, you just gotta own it.
10:19 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, I totally agree.
10:21 - Wife (Host)
I love Kimmel's mean tweets.
10:23 - Husband (Host)
I mean, you know, they have their place for sure.
10:25 - Wife (Host)
They have their place how?
10:28 - Husband (Host)
did we get on that? I have no idea. Like I lost track of how we lost track. Okay, so I have no clue. Oh, because at the end of 70 years, oh, yay, yay, yay, yay, we're gonna forget about it. We already forgot about Tier C. It worked.
10:41 - Wife (Host)
It's true, oh my God. But at the end of these 70 years it will happen to Tier, as in the song of the prostitute.
10:49 - Husband (Host)
What the fuck you know that song.
10:50 - Wife (Host)
What is?
10:51 - Husband (Host)
the song of the prostitute. This I need to know.
10:54 - Wife (Host)
Okay, I'm gonna do my best here.
10:55 - Husband (Host)
Wait, is there a song?
10:57 - Wife (Host)
Of the prostitute.
10:58 - Husband (Host)
This is the song of the prostitute.
10:59 - Wife (Host)
Take up a hark, walk through the city, you forgotten prostitute. Play the harp, well, sing many a song so that you will be remembered. That's terrible. Do we like that? That's terrible.
11:17 - Husband (Host)
It's terribly great.
11:19 - Wife (Host)
Okay.
11:20 - Husband (Host)
Because you did a great job and a great rendition there. So I appreciate what you did for that song, but that song is terrible.
11:27 - Wife (Host)
But here's the thing, though it's not as good rendered into English.
11:32 - Husband (Host)
No, I know.
11:33 - Wife (Host)
I'm sure, if it was still in Hebrew or Greek or Latin, that it would sound better.
11:37 - Husband (Host)
Are you sure about that? I'm not sure about that.
11:40 - Wife (Host)
So I think that it would sound more.
11:44 - Husband (Host)
Songish.
11:46 - Wife (Host)
Songish and more somber more serious less silly.
11:51 - Husband (Host)
They definitely need to work on the name. The prostitute the song of the prostitute.
11:57 - Wife (Host)
I'm gonna. I want that on my shirt.
12:00 - Husband (Host)
Do you, if you had a shirt for everything that you said you wanted the shirt for, we wouldn't have any room for shirts in this fucking place.
12:07 - Wife (Host)
Okay, I'm have. I said the ones that I want from Gilmore girls. Yes, you have have I said it on here.
12:13 - Husband (Host)
No, I don't believe you have. Okay, so I don't know so wife is a big fan of Gilmore girls.
12:18 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, I was just gonna say I don't know if any of you have listened. I mean watch the show Gilmore girls, but and just let me put out there, the show is definitely problematic.
12:29
Okay sure super ableist and Privileged like I fully fully admit that it's completely problematic right but I enjoyed it nonetheless, and it's what feels like fall going into Christmas to me, and so it's been several years, and so I started watching it again and I forgot. Well, there's this one character named Kirk and it's played by Sean Gunn, and he, he was in, oh, whatever it doesn't matter. Guardians of the Galaxy.
13:05 - Husband (Host)
Okay, yeah.
13:06 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, anyway, he's great. He plays a great side character and and in Gilmore girls. He's like every job, like every background job is him. He does every background job.
13:17 - Husband (Host)
Okay okay.
13:18 - Wife (Host)
So anyway, at one point he's making shirts and there's these two guys that come up and they're gonna do this Edgar Allen Poe reading. But they got their signals crossed and they both ended up Reading the same one. They both accidentally picked the Raven.
13:38 - Husband (Host)
What else are you gonna? Yeah, I mean at a Poe reading. Well, I mean, there are plenty of other good choices. Actually, it just makes sense.
13:44 - Wife (Host)
So they were fighting each other. So Kirk Kirk made shirts that said faux pose or foes, foes, pose, foes got it. Yeah, like foe, like FAUX right pose Foes right, yeah and I busted a gut it just. I love a good literary joke. That was a really long winded way of saying I want that t-shirt.
14:10 - Husband (Host)
You like t-shirts. You want t-shirts of things. I love t-shirts. Yeah, that are clever Sure.
14:15 - Wife (Host)
Okay. So the harp with the prostitute and and the singing. Okay, at the end of 70 years, the Lord will deal with tears. She will return to her lucrative prostitution okay and will apply her trade With all the kingdoms on the face of the earth.
14:33 - Husband (Host)
That is a lot of humping and yeah Well, I don't think that that's what I think that they're saying. This is they're calling the entire city a prostitute. And okay, so yeah, I don't think that they're. They're not. It's not a city filled with. It's not a city filled with prostitution.
14:49 - Wife (Host)
The city of tear is a prostitute.
14:52 - Husband (Host)
Right.
14:53 - Wife (Host)
Okay, got it and, and so the city is bad, or whatever sure, okay, yes. Yeah, her profit and her earnings will be set apart for the Lord. They will not be stored up or hoarded. Her profits will go to those who live before the Lord for abundant food and fine clothes.
15:11 - Husband (Host)
The end wait, they just said that it was gonna go back to its ways that were bad, but the money's gonna go to God. Yep, is that?
15:17 - Wife (Host)
is that kind of maybe I misinterpreted that, but that's, that's what it sounded like to me, I'm gonna like to me. She's gonna return to her lucrative prostitution.
15:26 - Husband (Host)
That's really fucked up. So I'm reading this and again, we haven't done our Q&A yet, so I'm probably completely off base here, but I'm reading this, as God doesn't give a fuck where the money comes from, as long as it's coming in.
15:40 - Wife (Host)
Mm-hmm.
15:40 - Husband (Host)
That sounds about right to me that does sound about right If it's not how it's interpreted, then it still sounds right with regard to churches.
15:47 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, yeah, definitely either way, churches are for sure prostitutes.
15:52 - Husband (Host)
Right, yeah, so was that all we have for today.
15:55 - Wife (Host)
That's all we have for today.
15:56 - Husband (Host)
Okay, so that puts us at the end of Isaiah, chapter 23. Sure as fuck. And if you are not on our discord channel, that ends our discussion for today, but we will be continuing our discussion with the people that are in our discord as we sign off here, so if you would like to do the same, you should come meet us next Tuesday at 10 pm Eastern and hang out with us in our discord.
16:20
Yeah, we also do an occasional one on Sundays in the afternoon, so do that and we'll see you there the next time and tomorrow we will cover Isaiah, chapter 24. Oh, and just for the record, the link for the discord channel is in the show notes, so just check that out and click on the link, and then join us there. Yep, bye.
16:38 - Wife (Host)
Bye.
