In this episode of "Sacrilegious Discourse," your irreverent hosts tackle the paradoxical world of Jeremiah Chapter 11 with the kind of wit that would make even the prophet himself crack a smile (if he had a sense of humor, that is). Join us as we dissect the biblical drama of idol worship, divine threats, and a god who seemingly loves the sound of his own voice more than actual problem-solving.
We start by questioning the Almighty's interior decorating tips, pointing out the hilarious irony that the same book warning against Christmas trees is now a staple in homes decked out in Yuletide glory. Who knew Jeremiah was the original Grinch, minus the heart-growing-three-sizes redemption arc?
Next, we witness Jeremiah morph into the ancient world's answer to a mob boss, asking for a smiting hit on his hometown rivals. Forget about divine love; we're diving into the world of divine mafia tactics where vengeance is the name of the game, and Jeremiah is all too eager to play.
We also ponder whether God could use a good PR manager because, let's be honest, the whole fire-and-brimstone approach isn't winning any popularity contests. And seriously, if prophets were door-to-door salesmen, they'd be the ones peddling apocalypse insurance—you know, just in case the sky falls tomorrow.
Finally, we wrap up with a discussion on the prophet's sanity, or lack thereof, and the troubling moral implications of his messages. We're left wondering if there's a line for prophetic restraining orders because, at this point, a little distance might be healthy.
So plug in, prepare to be entertained, and maybe even enlightened, as we explore the rollercoaster ride that is Jeremiah Chapter 11. And remember, folks, taking ancient prophecies too seriously may lead to a less-than-merry Christmas.
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[00:00:00] Hey everyone, husband here.
[00:00:05] And I'm wife.
[00:00:06] If you've been listening to us, then you know we're all about reading the Bible and
[00:00:10] reacting to it on our first read-through.
[00:00:12] Cuss words, crying, laughing, and more.
[00:00:14] We're passionate about creating a podcast that takes the sanctity out of the sacred
[00:00:17] text and simply stating it as we see it.
[00:00:19] But we can't do it without your help.
[00:00:21] We're asking for your support to help us keep this podcast going.
[00:00:24] There are two ways you can donate. we're reading the Bible for the very first time. We grew up without religion and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Well, what have we learned so far? That God is a dick and apparently some people believe in talking donkeys? We're not trying to pass ourselves off as experts. Nope, we're just reading the Bible for the first time and giving our first take reaction. If you'd like to join us in this venture, you might consider starting in episode 1.
[00:01:42] Otherwise, jump in wherever you like.
[00:01:44] Alright, let's go read the Bible.
[00:01:46] Yeah, let's them to incorporate. Specifically in their own roll book. Yeah. They don't. Really, really weird. Right? It's almost like they didn't read their own roll book. It's sort of like that. You know, sometimes I wonder if any of them read it.
[00:03:00] Remember when we read In The Bible and it said don't have Christmas trees?
[00:03:05] Remember that?
[00:03:06] Yeah, I do. of this covenant and speak to the men of Judah and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem and say to them, thus says the Lord of the Lord God of Israel, cursed is the man who does not obey the words of this covenant which I commanded your fathers in the day I brought them out of the land of Egypt from the iron furnace saying obey my voice and do according to all that I command you so you
[00:04:20] shall be my people and I will be your God. We're still in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem Saying here the words of this covenant and do them right earnestly exhorted your fathers Hold on here the words of this covenant and do them the words being do the things that I told you to do yeah
[00:05:40] Like this is this is the asinine
[00:05:42] I wrote you know I said, look how you're talking to this one guy and this one guy that you're talking to
[00:07:01] is listening to you.
[00:07:03] Isn't that amazing?
[00:07:04] Yeah.
[00:07:04] What if you talk to more than just that one guy?
[00:07:07] That would be amazing. They never really fucking stopped. Yeah. I mean, that's that's based on what I'm reading. Centuries of a shearapoles. Yeah. You said you did away with them multiple times, but they were never gone. Centuries of moleck and balls. Yeah. Like, where? When did it stop? I never stopped. It was like, it's only you've been bitching about this since the beginning.
[00:08:20] Your God, make it happen.
[00:08:21] Right.
[00:08:22] Why is it so hard for you?
[00:08:23] You you had two people when you started this whole one person.
[00:08:26] Yeah.
[00:08:26] When you started this whole thing.
[00:09:21] Right. And God is powerful.
[00:09:22] We're just measly human.
[00:09:24] Yeah.
[00:09:24] And God can't keep the bad things out of his fucking house.
[00:09:28] Right.
[00:09:29] Right.
[00:09:30] But he's magical.
[00:09:31] Yeah.
[00:09:31] And somehow a sheriff pulls and wild sex parties and stuff.
[00:09:36] Keep popping up.
[00:09:37] Yeah.
[00:09:37] Right.
[00:09:38] And then wait.
[00:09:39] And then and then and then Christians later adopt the very things
[00:09:42] that he's bitching about.
[00:09:43] Right.
[00:09:43] You'll never get over the Christmas tree.
[00:09:45] I will never get over the Christmas tree.
[00:09:46] Like that is that is some fucked up shit.
[00:09:48] I did not know that your checking in. Yeah. Right. Right. Like people that do planners, they're like, you should do a weekly, monthly, quarterly, an annual check in. Yeah. I would think at least do a generational check in. Yeah. That's what we're saying. God doesn't have to do that because he's
[00:11:01] magical, right?
[00:11:02] He doesn't have to check in that often. Yeah. But he could do like every,
[00:11:05] I don't know, 25 years. Yeah.
[00:12:05] Therefore thus says the Lord therefore thus says the Lord yeah, Jeremiah's you know Yeah, don't forget. I'm telling you all the stuff that God saying yep me and my sandwich board ring my ding-a-long bell
[00:12:13] What ding-a-long bell oh I meant to say ding-dong
[00:12:21] Because that's better
[00:12:25] Right yeah, yeah, okay, I'm going to kill you then. Watch out. Watch out. I'm coming. I'm going to kill you. Ready? Ready? I'm coming. I'm going to kill you. Yeah. We're on Chapter 11 for 11 chapters.
[00:13:41] I've been yelling. I'm coming to get you.
[00:13:43] He has. I'm going to kill you.
[00:13:44] That is all this has been about.
[00:13:45] Right? the same thing that's going to happen when they pray to their fake gods. Nothing's going to happen because gods aren't real. Right. That's what I was just going to say. Like, so from the person's perspective, they're like, try this God. No, try this God. Right. This God. No. None of them worked. Right. Well, that sucks. And you were in the mix, y'all way. Right. You were one of those, try this. No.
[00:15:00] This one? No.
[00:15:01] Next.
[00:15:01] Right.
[00:15:03] What has my beloved to do in my incense to Baal. I'm just like, if you know he's not real, why you got to get all bent out of shape over it?
[00:16:24] Just let them do what they want to do. Why it was funny. It was so funny. You had to be there. Because like when we saw it, we were dying. Yeah. We were dying. Yeah. But we're Marvel fans. Yeah. And those were early days of Marvel. They were. They were. Yeah. Now the Lord gave me your my knowledge of it. OK. And I know it.
[00:17:41] He knows that God's going to kill people.
[00:17:43] Well, when somebody gives me knowledge of something,
[00:17:46] then I know the knowledge that was given to me.
[00:17:48] That is true.
[00:17:48] Right? And this is beautiful. This is supposed to. So I should be praying every day. Dear God, please might my animals. Yeah, apparently that's okay to do. Vengeance is yours and do it. Please, please do vengeance. Right? This is gross. It is. It is. Therefore, thus says the Lord concerning
[00:19:00] the men of Anathoth. Anathoth is his city. We mentioned this in the first up. Right. Better watch out for Jeremiah, man. He is a pretty fucking powerful, apparently. He's got a loaded gun. He just like got killed him and God's like, Got it. Okay. I'm on it. Could you imagine? Oh my goodness. That is just terrifying. This is not a good lesson. What the fuck is this?
[00:20:21] Not good.
[00:20:22] That's what it is.
[00:20:22] No, yeah.
[00:20:23] This is ridiculous.
[00:20:25] I'm not a Christian, yet I somehow so that you cannot come into my yard. Yeah. Like Jeremiah is starting to sound more and more like a crazy person. He's a cooke. Which is consistent though with other prophets. Yes. Like Isaiah, you know, I mean he stumbled around in the fucking desert for naked for... Yeah, however long....a long time. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what to think about all this, but...
[00:21:40] Sometimes.
[00:21:40] I don't like it.
[00:21:41] I don't like it either.
[00:21:44] Alright.
[00:21:44] Well, that was Jeremiah chapter 11.
[00:21:47] Sure as fuck was. Discourse at gmail.com. But before they do that, we could really use some help. Oh yeah, with what? Well, it's not free running the podcast and we need some financial support in order to get better equipment which will free up time so we can concentrate on our podcast and our fans. Okay, so what should they do? Head over to patreon.com forward slash sacrilegious discourse and sign up as a contributor on our
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