Are you ready for another riveting round of "Spot the Benevolence" in the Old Testament? Well, buckle up, non-believers and skeptics, because in this blasphemously fun episode of our podcast, we're diving into the divinely inspired dumpster fire that is Jeremiah Chapter 16. It's the chapter where God turns into a celestial hitman, and poor Jeremiah is handed the worst life advice in ancient history.
In this episode, titled "Jeremiah Chapter 16," we peel back the layers of divine wisdom to reveal what appears to be a less-than-omnibenevolent deity who's got a thing for the dramatic. Prepare to witness the Almighty's love language, which suspiciously resembles threats, plagues, and an unhealthy obsession with vengeance. It's a cosmic soap opera, and we're here for the messy breakdown.
Join us as we dissect every ungodly detail of Jeremiah's forced celibacy — a real bummer in the prophet's day, trust us — and ponder whether the Big Guy upstairs was doing our boy Jer a solid or just making him the poster child for divine overreach. We'll also explore the charming narrative where God apparently moonlights as the worst party guest ever, telling people not to mourn, lament, or comfort each other. Spoiler alert: it's not because He's bringing the wine.
And if you've ever wondered how to reconcile the loving God of Sunday school with the smiting enthusiast of the Old Testament, well, keep wondering. Our snarky take on this biblical head-scratcher might not provide answers, but it'll definitely offer some irreverent laughs and perhaps a dash of existential dread. Because nothing says "omnipotent love" quite like a deity with a penchant for infanticide and avian carrion buffets.
So if you're up for a challenge to your faith, or just in need of a good heathen chuckle, tune in to our latest episode. It's blasphemous, it's irreverent, and it's loaded with enough dark humor to make even the most stoic cherubim crack a smile. Remember, if you can't find the divine silver lining, at least you can laugh at the absurdity of the cloud.
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[00:00:00] Hey everyone, Husband here.
[00:00:05] And I'm Wife.
[00:00:06] If you've been listening to us, then you know we're all about reading the Bible and
[00:00:09] reacting to it on our first read through.
[00:00:12] Cuss words, crying, laughing, and more.
[00:00:14] We're passionate about creating a podcast that takes the sanctity out of the sacred
[00:00:17] text and simply stating it as we see it.
[00:00:19] But we can't do it without your help.
[00:00:21] We're asking for your support to help us keep this podcast going.
[00:00:24] There are two ways you can donate. we're reading the Bible for the very first time. We grew up without religion and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Well, what have we learned so far? That God is a dick and apparently some people believe in talking donkeys. We're not trying to pass ourselves off as experts. Nope, we're just reading the Bible for the first time and giving our first take reaction. If you'd like to join us in this venture, you might consider starting at episode one.
[00:01:42] Otherwise, jump in wherever you like. Alright, let's go read the Bible. Yeah,
[00:01:46] let's get to Mexico.
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[00:05:27] No, but what I'm saying is regardless he's still standing out like a sore thumb because right during that time
[00:05:30] It was expected that
[00:05:36] Men would get married and have lots of children. That was a glory to God kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah So so he's got to have an excuse so obviously God gave him the excuse. Yeah, right. Yeah
[00:05:41] It's not that all the people there hate him and it's not want to. Okay. It's all that too much work you know what I mean? Sure. Like I got all these
[00:07:01] threads to keep track of man. Yeah okay. I've change. Yeah, I'm gonna wipe out the whole community. They all let me down. And their corpses shall be meat for the birds of heaven and for the beasts of the earth. So he's gonna kill babies and feed them to animals. That's what God is doing right now. That sounds beautiful.
[00:08:21] That sounds heavenly and divine and great.
[00:08:25] I love it.
[00:08:26] I got done, well, I find that people that I talk to that are religious and even liberally religious, they can't wrap their head around the fact that their God might be evil. Right. You know, that's not something they have the ability to do in their current mindset. I'm not saying that it's something they can't break out of, but...
[00:09:42] You might want to read the book. Yeah. You might want to. Right. You know, like he's very narcissistic, he's very murdery, he's very nationalistic really. Like he is very, you know, it's all Israel, right? It's all Israel. That's the only people that even have a chance at being redeemed and even they are kind of shit.
[00:11:02] Yeah. So it's very shit. He's about to kill them all. Yeah, yeah, right. Yeah,
[00:11:05] exactly. For thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel,
[00:12:20] Behold, I will cause to cease from of you, my chosen people that I love, I'm about to wipe you out. Right? I'm not gonna show you, I'm not gonna change you, I'm not gonna teach you. Right. I'm gonna fucking kill you. Yeah. And your children, even down to the babies.
[00:13:41] Yeah.
[00:13:42] And you know, pro-life or whatever, but not really.
[00:13:46] Right?
[00:13:47] Yeah. Like, you're not scary enough, except for when you murder everybody. Right. Like, literally, that's your magic trick. Well, and let's keep in mind too, like religion uses a lot of after the fact writing, right? They know that this bad thing's gonna happen. So they're like, see, you didn't do this.
[00:15:01] So it was bad.
[00:15:02] That's why God did it.
[00:15:03] Yeah.
[00:15:04] And so you make them fear after the fact by showing them something that happened, right?
[00:15:07] Right. babies because their dads suck. Right? I'm not going to give them to other people. Yeah, I call bullshit on that. Yeah. Yep. I'm done with you. Therefore, I will cast you out of this land into a land that you do not know, neither you nor your fathers. And there you shall serve other gods day and night where I will not show you favor.
[00:16:22] He's like, you want to go pray after other gods?
[00:16:25] Fine.
[00:16:26] I'm going to put you where you can do that.
[00:16:27] Yeah.
[00:16:28] You ain't going mean? Exactly. The only reason this persists is because he was essentially right at some point. Because even a stop clock is right. Right, yeah. Yeah. Behold, I will send for many fishermen, says the Lord,
[00:17:42] and they shall fish them.
[00:17:43] And afterward, I will send for many hunters,
[00:17:46] and they shall hunt them from name is the Lord the Lord the Lord yeah yeah he's gonna he's gonna do this he's gonna
[00:19:02] let them know by sending an army of people yeah after his people not Like honestly, God, if you would have just made it rain a little bit more often, maybe I would have prayed to you. But no, the first time that I have any notice of you, you're killing my children and making me a slave? Fuck off. If you just speak up, like to all the people, all of them, all of them, fuck this prophet bullshit. Yeah. If you just speak to them, they would probably know you are the Lord.
[00:20:22] Yeah.
[00:20:23] Why do you pick these random fucking people to talk through and there's other- Bye! Hey wife, I guess that's the end? But husband, that's just sad. It doesn't have to be. We are on lots of social media platforms like Twitter. Our handle there is sacrilegious underscore D. For D's nuts. Oh my god. Stop doing that!
[00:21:40] Anyway, we're also on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.
[00:21:44] There's a link to all of our social media sites at our website.
[00:21:46] Ooh, we have a website? is help us out tremendously. Like and subscribe, leave an Apple review, join us on Twitter, support us on Patreon. That's a lot of instructions. Don't forget to say thanks. Thanks. K bye. When you wake up well rested, on a great mattress, everything becomes clear.
[00:23:00] Huh, I do make everything about me.
[00:23:03] Things you missed when you were tired finally reveal themselves.
[00:23:06] My passport is in the pocket of the duffel bag I took to Mexico.
