Are you ready to dive into another chapter of the good book that's as long-winded as a politician's speech and just as evasive? Welcome to our latest snark-laden episode, where we tear into the biblical poetry of Jeremiah Chapter 17 with the finesse of a skeptic on a mission. Join us as we wade through the divine threats and promises that would make even a seasoned soap opera writer blush.
In this episode, we unpack the divine drudgery and head-scratching paradoxes that Jeremiah slings at us with the kind of gusto reserved for late-night infomercials. You'll be entranced by the biblical imagery that's as flowery as your grandma's favorite perfume, yet somehow leaves you with more questions than answers about the nature of righteousness and why everyone—even the good guys—gets the cosmic short end of the stick.
We dissect the dramatic contrast between the shriveled existence of those who dare place their trust in mere mortals versus the lusciously leafy lives of those who hitch their wagon to the Almighty. Plus, we offer a poetic apology for any sound hiccups you might endure—our tech setup is as temperamental as the Old Testament God we're discussing.
From cursed shrubbery in the desert to trees of resilience, we leave no stone—or should we say altar—unturned. Whether you're a believer, a doubter, or just here for the heretical banter, this episode is sure to deliver. So, if you enjoy a dose of divine judgment with a side of sardonic wit, tune in as we attempt to make sense of Jeremiah's cryptic catastrophizing.
Remember, this isn't your Sunday school's Bible study. We're the irreverent voices in your head questioning the celestial logic, one ancient verse at a time. Get ready to be bemused, bewildered, and maybe a bit bemused again with "Jeremiah Chapter 17." And don't forget to hit that subscribe button—like the impending doom of Jeremiah's prophecies, our next episode on Chapter 18 is just around the corner, and you wouldn't want to miss it.
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[00:00:00] Hey everyone, Husband here.
[00:00:05] And I'm Wife.
[00:00:06] If you've been listening to us, then you know we're all about reading the Bible and
[00:00:09] reacting to it on our first read through.
[00:00:12] Cuss words, crying, laughing, and more.
[00:00:14] We're passionate about creating a podcast that takes the sanctity out of the sacred
[00:00:17] text and simply stating it as we see it.
[00:00:19] But we can't do it without your help.
[00:00:21] We're asking for your support to help us keep this podcast going.
[00:00:24] There are two ways you can donate. we're reading the Bible for the very first time. We grew up without religion and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Well, what have we learned so far? That God is a dick and apparently some people believe in talking donkeys. We're not trying to pass ourselves off as experts. Nope, we're just reading the Bible for the first time and giving our first take reaction. If you'd like to join us in this venture, you might consider starting at episode one.
[00:01:42] Otherwise, jump in wherever you like. Alright, let's go read the Bible. Yeah,
[00:01:46] let's get this. Okey dokey.
[00:04:20] Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same of a diamond it is engraved on the tablet of their heart and on the horns of your altars. While their children remember their altars and their wooden images by the green trees on the hill on the high hills." Those kind of beautiful wording to say that they've really sinned hard and it's because of the the's been saying, I mean, throughout the rest of the previous chapters, but it's just, you know, I'm so mad. He's saying it more beautifully now. Right, right. This is a very poetic chapter. It really is. So it's a little bit out of place almost, right? Yeah. Yeah. Thus says the Lord, cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength,
[00:05:46] whose heart departs from the Lord. No one of you motherfuckers. Right? But it's like so pretty and like ASMR murder. Right. Yes. Like stab. You're going to love it as he's killing you. Right? Like it's soft. It's a lullaby of death. It's going to be the most beautiful bashing of heads against rocks that you've ever seen,
[00:07:04] you know? kind of counter to what he's been saying right previously right because there was like they were all bad they were all evil he was like I don't give a fuck die bitch Jeremiah is not even allowed to have kids right they're all killed right yeah yeah the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked who can know it I the Lord is the place of our sanctuary. O Lord, the hope of Israel, all who forsake you shall be ashamed. Those who depart from me shall be written in the earth because they have forsaken the Lord, the fountain of living
[00:09:41] waters. Remember they talked before about say to me, where is the word of the Lord? Let it come now. As for me, I've not hurried away from being a shepherd who follows you, nor have I desired the woeful day. You know what came out of my lips. It was who's talking. Is this Jeremiah or is this God the whole time? Like I'm having right
[00:11:03] now is Jeremiah. It was God. Now it's Jeremiah. Cause he's like, I've been good. Right. Alright, so now we're starting a new little section here. Okay. Alright. Thus the Lord said to me, so now God is talking again, go and stand in the gate of the children of the people by which the kings of Judah come in and by which they go out and in all the gates of Jerusalem and say to them, hear the
[00:12:21] word of the Lord you kings of Judah it, then shall enter the gates of this city kings and princes sitting on the throne of David riding in chariots and on horses, they and their princes, accompanied by the men of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem,
[00:13:41] and this city shall remain forever." That was a long sentence. So if you just honor the Sabbath,
[00:14:45] last half could have been one fucking sentence. It really could have. If you don't respect the Sabbath day, I will smite you. Yeah. The end. That's all it needed to say. But it's
[00:14:51] but like if you take other chapters and other other things that we've read, it's not just
[00:14:56] the matter of the Sabbath. It's matter, matter of how they actually do their worship. It's
[00:15:01] a matter of how they follow the rest of the Lev wording. Right. Right. Just because of the substance of it. Yeah. No, I agree. It's almost like the pretty writing was like a slap in the face almost because it was hiding the
[00:16:22] main message, which was still just more of the same,
[00:16:25] but also being long winded about it. Right. Right. Um,
[00:17:24] wife. I guess that's the end? But husband, that's just sad. It doesn't have to be. We are on lots of social media platforms like Twitter. Our handle there is sacrilegious
[00:17:28] underscore d. For D's nuts. Oh my god. Stop doing that. Anyway, we're also on Facebook,
[00:17:35] Instagram, and Pinterest. There's a link to all of our social media sites at our website.
[00:17:39] Oh, we have a website? Yeah, it's sacrilegiousdiscourse.com where you can also find a link to our merch
[00:17:44] shop. We have a merch shop? Yep. We have podcast theme clothing, mugs, notebooks, and more,
