Jeremiah Chapter 43: Atheist Bible Study

Jeremiah Chapter 43: Atheist Bible Study

Welcome back, fellow skeptics and scripture sleuths, to another episode of "You Can't Make This Stuff Up: The Bible Edition." This time, we're dissecting the divine drama of Jeremiah Chapter 43, where the plot thickens and the divine counsel seems more like a script from a B-rated spy movie.


We start off with a bit of a facepalm moment as we lament our missed opportunity to geek out over the infamous number 42 in our last episode. But fear not, fellow Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fans, we promise not to leave our towels behind this time as we navigate the murky waters of Jeremiah's alleged loyalty to Babylon—because, let's face it, nothing screams "divine inspiration" like a good ol' accusation of being a Babylonian snitch.


As we delve into the accusations hurled at Jeremiah and his sidekick Baruch, we can't help but snicker at the biblical narrative's attempt to convince us of their innocence. It's like watching a bad episode of "I Spy" but with more sand and fewer cool gadgets. Seriously, if Jeremiah were any more of a double agent, he'd be wearing a tunic made of trench coats.


Then, hold onto your atheist hats, because we're about to explore the comical relationship between Jeremiah and the Babylonian bad boy himself, Nebuchadnezzar. We ponder the responsibility of speaking on behalf of the divine and the repercussions when the message sounds suspiciously like it was phoned in from Babylon's war room.


In a turn of events that nobody asked for, Jeremiah goes all HGTV in Egypt with a bizarre stone-hiding episode. Apparently, this was meant to foreshadow Babylonian conquests, but it comes off more like a prophet playing a high-stakes game of hide-and-seek with his credibility on the line.


So buckle up, non-believers, as we take a not-so-holy stroll through the scripture, filled with espionage, ironies, and divine dilemmas that are as confusing as they are entertaining. Whether you're here for the biblical breakdown or just to hear us rant about the absurdities of ancient texts, we've got you covered. It's time to tune in, turn up the skepticism, and enjoy the show—because when it comes to the Bible, sometimes you just have to laugh to keep from crying.


Remember to hit that subscribe button for more irreverent insights into the world's best-selling fantasy novel—aka the Bible. Catch you on the flip side, where we continue to question everything, one chapter at a time.


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[00:00:00] Hey everyone, Husband here! And I'm wife. If you've been listening to us then you know

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[00:01:16] Welcome to sacrilegious discourse. I'm husband and I'm wife. Together we're reading the Bible for the very first time.

[00:01:22] We grew up without religion and wanted to know what all the fuss was about.

[00:01:26] Well what have we learned so far? That God is a dick and apparently some people believe in talking donkeys.

[00:01:32] We're not trying to pass ourselves off as experts.

[00:01:34] Nope we're just reading the Bible for the first time and giving our first take reaction.

[00:01:38] If you'd like to join us in this venture you might consider starting at episode one.

[00:01:42] Otherwise jump in wherever you like.

[00:01:44] Alright let's go read the Bible.

[00:01:46] Yeah let's get to it!

[00:01:50] Husband!

[00:01:51] Wife!

[00:01:52] Do you remember what happened yesterday and where the hell we are today?

[00:01:56] Well yesterday we read Jeremiah chapter 42 and I was very disappointed in us.

[00:02:03] Yeah.

[00:02:04] We made a big mistake.

[00:02:06] It was a huge fucking mistake.

[00:02:08] We left something out.

[00:02:09] It was the 42nd book of Jeremiah and we didn't make...

[00:02:13] Chapter.

[00:02:14] Yeah I'm sorry, chapter.

[00:02:15] We didn't make one single solitary reference to the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

[00:02:21] What the fuck is our problem?

[00:02:23] Why didn't... what?

[00:02:24] It's a big number.

[00:02:25] Yeah it's a meaning of life universe and everything.

[00:02:27] How do you not mention that as you're reading through the Bible when it's the 42nd chapter of a book?

[00:02:31] You know what it is.

[00:02:33] What?

[00:02:34] Did we forget our towels?

[00:02:35] We're not whoopi fruits.

[00:02:36] Oh okay.

[00:02:37] And we do not sass where our towels are at.

[00:02:39] That's what happened there.

[00:02:41] Yeah right.

[00:02:42] Okay well we won't let it happen again the next time we get to a chapter 42 of whatever books.

[00:02:47] It'll definitely we'll cover it.

[00:02:49] Got it for sure.

[00:02:50] But do you remember?

[00:02:52] Yes in chapter 42, it was a short chapter.

[00:02:55] It was.

[00:02:56] And as I recall Jeremiah was...

[00:03:01] No no the people that were fleeing were asking Jeremiah what they could do and like...

[00:03:05] What should we do?

[00:03:06] They were like does your god have some guidance for us and he's like...

[00:03:09] We promised to obey.

[00:03:11] Give me a minute and then he was like gone for 10 days.

[00:03:14] And then he came back and he's like yeah just go back and you know go work the land and go over there.

[00:03:19] Babylon.

[00:03:20] And Babylon.

[00:03:21] Don't go to Egypt bitches.

[00:03:23] And then the remnants were like why are the fuck would we do that?

[00:03:26] That guy that killed everybody over there?

[00:03:29] Ishmael?

[00:03:30] Yeah.

[00:03:31] He's still over there.

[00:03:32] No he's with the Ammonites.

[00:03:33] Yeah but he's still nearby.

[00:03:34] He's still nearby.

[00:03:35] Yeah.

[00:03:36] And then you told us everything was going to be fine last time but it wasn't so like why the fuck should we trust you this time?

[00:03:41] We're just going to go on down to Egypt.

[00:03:43] It looks nice over there.

[00:03:44] And then Jeremiah was like well you all going to get fucked over there so have fun with that.

[00:03:50] That was pretty much it.

[00:03:51] Yep.

[00:03:52] So that was Jeremiah chapter 42.

[00:03:53] Sure as fuck was.

[00:03:54] Which means that today we're getting into Jeremiah chapter 43.

[00:03:58] All right let's do this.

[00:03:59] Okey dokey.

[00:04:00] Alright.

[00:04:07] I need all my stuff.

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[00:04:56] So start looking in the right place with LinkedIn.

[00:04:59] You can hire professionals like a professional post your free job on LinkedIn.com slash spoken today.

[00:05:07] Alright we are hopping into Jeremiah chapter 43.

[00:05:11] Okay and as usual with Jeremiah I have a note.

[00:05:15] You have an unnote just one.

[00:05:17] Yeah okay it's not the misnumbered Septuagint note.

[00:05:21] No okay it's the narrative note.

[00:05:23] Got it.

[00:05:24] Yeah.

[00:05:25] This chapter is part of a narrative section consisting of chapters 37 to 44.

[00:05:30] So we're almost at the end of this little storyline.

[00:05:33] Got it.

[00:05:34] Yeah what happened to this Septuagint misnumbered things?

[00:05:37] I think we're back on regular equal number.

[00:05:42] I don't know sometimes they're out of order and sometimes they're not.

[00:05:47] Interesting.

[00:05:48] It was just a few that were out of order.

[00:05:50] Yeah I just but you would think they would continue to be out of order as all.

[00:05:54] Not necessarily.

[00:05:55] I'm just throwing it out there.

[00:05:58] Right but I told you at the time that they were just taking certain parts out of order.

[00:06:05] Got it got it.

[00:06:06] Not the whole book.

[00:06:07] Okay.

[00:06:08] Okay yeah.

[00:06:09] Alright so here we go we are in Jeremiah chapter 43.

[00:06:13] Now it happened.

[00:06:15] Ready what happened?

[00:06:16] Yeah I'm ready.

[00:06:17] When Jeremiah had stopped speaking to all the people, all the words of the Lord their

[00:06:22] God for which the Lord their God had sent to them.

[00:06:26] All these words.

[00:06:27] You know he sent that's to them them their God through Jeremiah through his God.

[00:06:33] Yeah I'm just saying right.

[00:06:34] It didn't exactly make a direct appeal to them.

[00:06:38] I guess so I guess so it happened after Jeremiah gave all those words that as a raya the son of

[00:06:45] Hoshiah, Johanon the son of Kariah and all the proud men spoke saying to Jeremiah.

[00:06:53] You speak falsely.

[00:06:55] The Lord our God has not sent you to say do not go to Egypt to dwell there but Baruch the son of Nariah

[00:07:02] has set you against us to deliver us into the hands of the childyans.

[00:07:09] Oh.

[00:07:10] That they may put us to death or Kariah so we captive to Babylon.

[00:07:15] Whoa.

[00:07:16] Okay so wait, wait.

[00:07:17] Let me just let me just stop hold on hold on.

[00:07:20] Yeah remember yesterday I was like we haven't heard about Baruch right and then I was like

[00:07:27] so it's almost like Jeremiah went into his little tent.

[00:07:31] Right.

[00:07:32] Let's send Baruch go ask our handler and Babylon what the fuck I should do.

[00:07:36] They probably saw him fucking coming back and they're like yeah dude he was just coming back from the

[00:07:39] over there by the Babylon.

[00:07:41] Yeah.

[00:07:42] Babylonians.

[00:07:43] Yeah.

[00:07:44] What the fuck this guy's obviously in cooots with them right so you're telling us this came from God

[00:07:49] but no you waited for your buddy to come back from the Babylonians.

[00:07:52] So I just want to tell you as God is my witness.

[00:07:57] I had not I had not read ahead.

[00:07:59] I did not know that this was coming yeah that makes it all the funnier right that I called him out and then

[00:08:06] and then they're like yeah totally the funny thing to me is that they they this is written by Jeremiah

[00:08:12] or Baruch or whatever but one of the two both of them whatever.

[00:08:15] Uh huh.

[00:08:16] And they just keep digging themselves in a bigger and bigger hole with regard to this whole like spy business

[00:08:22] this whole you know their Babylonian agents type thing.

[00:08:26] And we're like it looks like they might be double agents and then like yeah they're totally

[00:08:32] double agents.

[00:08:33] Yeah.

[00:08:34] Yeah.

[00:08:35] Definitely.

[00:08:36] So Johanon the son of Korea and all the captains of the forces and all the people would not obey

[00:08:43] the voice of the Lord to remain in the land of Judah.

[00:08:47] I why do they call it the voice of the Lord though it's the voice of fucking Jeremiah is what

[00:08:52] they're hearing.

[00:08:53] Well, Jeremiah is claiming he's claiming that it's the voice of the Lord.

[00:08:57] But that's what the whole Bible is.

[00:08:58] Yeah no I know and that's that's why this whole thing is bullshit.

[00:09:02] I know there's no there's no point where whatever.

[00:09:06] Like how you're so annoyed you can't even finish your thought.

[00:09:10] Look, these fuckers wrote this bit this bit about Jeremiah and they sound as they wrote it

[00:09:16] they sound like they work for Babylon.

[00:09:19] They should have literally just left it out.

[00:09:22] Also claiming to speak for God you know Jeremiah is claiming to speak for God he's a prophet

[00:09:27] of the Lord he speaks for God and these things have permeated into you know current cultures.

[00:09:34] Right.

[00:09:35] Like we still talk about this and yet I'm listening to this whole thing and I'm like no.

[00:09:40] He's like, he's like they accused us of being double agents.

[00:09:44] Can you even believe that?

[00:09:46] And we're like yes bitch I can.

[00:09:48] Right.

[00:09:49] I can totally believe it.

[00:09:50] Yeah and you just keep like digging yourselves deeper and deeper into this whole idea that

[00:09:54] you probably were.

[00:09:55] I'm like guys stop talking.

[00:09:57] Right.

[00:09:58] You're making this worse literally leave this part out.

[00:10:01] Yeah.

[00:10:02] Like this part, this whole book should never have been included.

[00:10:05] It doesn't really matter though because ultimately like I mean I think a lot of this was written

[00:10:10] with the idea that nobody no common person was going to end up reading this stuff right?

[00:10:16] Right.

[00:10:17] Like this wasn't meant to be read by your common person right.

[00:10:19] It was meant to be read by scholars and by people who are trusting that this is the

[00:10:25] whole the Lord's words and historians.

[00:10:27] I mean they were interested in capturing history.

[00:10:31] But I hear it all the time like this there's this person I've been talking to via email recently

[00:10:36] that this is something they love to tell us is that the what is it?

[00:10:41] The scales are pulled over our eyes if you don't come out of it.

[00:10:44] If you're not reading it correctly or something like that, it's apparently in the Bible somewhere

[00:10:48] like if you don't come to this correctly, you can't ever understand it.

[00:10:53] You know, that's cool.

[00:10:55] I totally believe you so how do you take the scales off my eyes?

[00:11:00] Because that's not a thing that I've been saying that we've discussed this before.

[00:11:04] Right.

[00:11:05] Okay, I believe you there's scales on my eyes.

[00:11:08] Look, the way that they're talking about reading it is like you already have to be you

[00:11:13] already have to accept that this is God's word.

[00:11:15] You have to first believe in God before ever enter into this.

[00:11:19] Yeah.

[00:11:20] Then you have to believe that this is all God's word.

[00:11:22] Then you have to believe that this shit actually happened.

[00:11:25] I'm still on first step one.

[00:11:27] I would think honestly if you're reading the Bible and this is God's word, this is God's

[00:11:32] book, this is the thing that he wrote for humanly had people write for him, he wrote whatever

[00:11:36] I don't fucking care.

[00:11:37] And all that shit happens.

[00:11:38] It's his connection to humanity, right?

[00:11:41] You would think that it would be a good selling point to bring you to God.

[00:11:46] That's what I was always told whether or not you believe or not, right?

[00:11:49] Like it would convince you.

[00:11:51] This has done anything but convinced me.

[00:11:53] No, this has made me harder.

[00:11:55] This is hard in my heart like the God damn Pharaoh.

[00:11:59] But anyway, but Johanon, the son of Korea and all the captains of the forces took all

[00:12:06] the remnant of Judah who had returned to Dwell in the land of Judah from all nations where

[00:12:11] they had been driven men, women, children, the King's daughters and every person who never

[00:12:16] could, no way, never Zeradan, the captain of the guard had left with Giddaya.

[00:12:23] No, Giddaya, the son of the, a he come, the son of Shafan and Jeremiah the prophet and

[00:12:31] Baruch the son of Nariah.

[00:12:32] So all those people that stayed, yeah.

[00:12:35] All those remnant folk.

[00:12:36] They sure are a long-witted way of saying stuff like that, right?

[00:12:39] Like all you had to say was the remnant, you know who you mean, thanks.

[00:12:43] So they went to the land of Egypt for they did not obey the voice of the Lord and they

[00:12:47] went as far as teponies.

[00:12:49] Let's talk about teponies for a minute, okay?

[00:12:53] So teponies was an important fortress city on the northern border of ancient Egypt in

[00:13:02] the north eastern Nile Delta and is generally equated with the Greek city of Daphne.

[00:13:09] Okay.

[00:13:10] Yep.

[00:13:11] So that's what it is.

[00:13:12] So they're in Egypt now, okay?

[00:13:14] Got it.

[00:13:15] And that's where they checked in to like, hey, can we enter your fucking little country

[00:13:21] over here?

[00:13:22] Right.

[00:13:23] Can we live here?

[00:13:24] Can we be refugees here because Babylon is killing everybody.

[00:13:28] Right.

[00:13:29] And we want to not be dead.

[00:13:31] Yeah.

[00:13:32] Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah and teponies saying take large stones in your

[00:13:39] hand and hide them in the sight of the men of Judah.

[00:13:42] I don't really understand what hide in the sight means so that they can see you doing it.

[00:13:47] So you're not hiding them?

[00:13:49] I don't know.

[00:13:50] Right.

[00:13:51] In the clay, in the brick courtyard, which is at the entrance to Pharaoh's house in teponies

[00:13:58] and say to them, thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, behold, I will send and

[00:14:05] bring Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylon, my servant and will set his throne above these

[00:14:12] stones that I have hidden.

[00:14:14] Oh.

[00:14:15] And he wasn't trying to actually hide them.

[00:14:17] He was trying to be seen.

[00:14:19] Yeah.

[00:14:20] You make a point.

[00:14:21] Yeah.

[00:14:22] He's like, look at these stones.

[00:14:23] Right.

[00:14:24] I'm hiding them here for a reason.

[00:14:25] Yeah.

[00:14:26] And y'all get to know the reason.

[00:14:27] Babylon's coming.

[00:14:29] And this is where Nebuchadnezzar is going to sit his throne.

[00:14:32] Okay.

[00:14:33] And he will spread his royal pavilion over them.

[00:14:36] When he comes, he will strike the land of Egypt and deliver to death those appointed

[00:14:41] for death and to captivity, those appointed for captivity and to the sword, those appointed

[00:14:47] for the sword and to Roman noodles, those appointed for Roman noodles and to the couch, those

[00:14:54] appointed to the couch.

[00:14:55] Right.

[00:14:56] Right.

[00:14:57] Okay.

[00:14:58] I'm just putting it out there.

[00:14:59] Yeah.

[00:15:00] I'm going to go out there and get a fire in the houses of the gods of Egypt.

[00:15:03] And he shall burn them and carry them away captive.

[00:15:06] And he shall array himself with the land of Egypt as a shepherd puts on his garment.

[00:15:13] And he shall go out from there in peace.

[00:15:16] I take a little bit of issue with this because why is Nebuchadnezzar going to worry himself,

[00:15:23] unless he was already going to attack Egypt?

[00:15:26] Why is he going to worry himself about this remnant that's running away from

[00:15:30] Jerusalem?

[00:15:31] It doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

[00:15:34] They're, I don't know.

[00:15:36] Is he just mad because they got away?

[00:15:39] They got away?

[00:15:40] I don't know.

[00:15:41] Or was he going to go ahead and attack Egypt anyway?

[00:15:42] Who knows?

[00:15:43] They were already on a war path.

[00:15:44] They'd already fought once because that's what let them break the siege of Jerusalem

[00:15:48] there briefly.

[00:15:49] Right.

[00:15:50] So I want to find out did this ever happen?

[00:15:53] Did that's a good point?

[00:15:54] Did Babylon ever go into Egypt?

[00:15:56] I don't know enough history to know.

[00:15:58] I want to look that up maybe for our Q&A.

[00:16:01] Do a little bit of Babylonian and Egyptian history.

[00:16:04] There should be some history about it because the Babylonians and the Egyptians both kept

[00:16:09] pretty detailed records about things.

[00:16:11] Right.

[00:16:12] Particularly the Egyptians.

[00:16:13] Right.

[00:16:14] And you would think that those things would be available to find out for sure.

[00:16:16] Right.

[00:16:17] That would be something that students talk about in their Q&A probably.

[00:16:19] That's what I'm saying.

[00:16:20] Yeah, yeah.

[00:16:22] I also want to add a note where it says that he shall array himself with the land of Egypt

[00:16:29] as a shepherd puts on his garment in other translations.

[00:16:34] Like what this is supposed to mean as he's going to wear Egypt like as easily as nothing,

[00:16:41] not even thinking about it.

[00:16:43] Got it.

[00:16:44] He's going to put them on like a vest and it won't be a thing.

[00:16:46] Okay.

[00:16:47] That's how easy this will be.

[00:16:48] It'll be.

[00:16:49] And other translations, it talks about plucking fleas off of himself or or varmants or little

[00:16:58] bugs off of him like nothing.

[00:17:00] Like trying to say this guy's really powerful.

[00:17:03] Right.

[00:17:04] But also they took out and changed the picking of knits off of himself because that was

[00:17:15] too close to basically referring to people in the Middle East as dirty and having fleas.

[00:17:23] Got it.

[00:17:24] So according to the notes that I read, that's why that was changed.

[00:17:27] I don't know how true that is.

[00:17:29] It does track that they're racist fuxx.

[00:17:32] But I don't know that they would necessarily say let's not be a racist fuck on this one

[00:17:38] page.

[00:17:40] So I don't know why some translations and not others.

[00:17:43] Sure.

[00:17:44] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:17:45] I want to throw that out there.

[00:17:46] Food for thought.

[00:17:47] Yeah.

[00:17:48] Okay.

[00:17:49] He shall also break the sacred pillars of Beth Shamesh that are in the land of Egypt and

[00:17:55] the houses of the gods of the Egyptians.

[00:17:57] He shall burn with fire.

[00:18:00] Okay.

[00:18:01] Yeah.

[00:18:02] Beth Shamesh, the literal translation of that city is House of the Sun.

[00:18:08] I think we talked about that.

[00:18:10] We have.

[00:18:11] He was located about six miles northeast of Cairo was the ancient worship center of

[00:18:17] Sun God Ray, later called Heliopolis.

[00:18:20] Okay.

[00:18:21] Which makes sense.

[00:18:23] And the oracle here he's describing Egypt as not a safe refuge from Nebuchadnezzar.

[00:18:31] Obviously.

[00:18:32] Right.

[00:18:33] So he's like, this is not good.

[00:18:34] He's going to burn Egypt.

[00:18:36] Yeah.

[00:18:37] I don't think that happened.

[00:18:38] But I find it interesting though that Jeremiah is still going with them.

[00:18:41] Like he was he was kidnapped.

[00:18:43] He was forced to go with them.

[00:18:46] I did read some I haven't read the chapters ahead.

[00:18:49] I never read the chapters ahead, but some of the notes I sometimes they allude to things.

[00:18:56] And he was definitely forced to go with these people and because of his prophecy that everybody

[00:19:04] the remnant who goes there, they're going to get punished.

[00:19:08] He was definitely concerned that he was going to get punished along with everybody since

[00:19:13] he got to know why I was kind of wondering why he went along.

[00:19:16] Yeah.

[00:19:17] He didn't have a choice.

[00:19:18] He was forced probably because they're pissed.

[00:19:21] Well, I mean, you know, I think that they know that Jeremiah and Baruch are double agents

[00:19:27] and they're like, no, you bitches are coming with us.

[00:19:30] We're not going to let you run back to Babylon.

[00:19:32] We're not going to kill you because we're not murderous, fucks like you.

[00:19:36] But we're also not going to let you go and run and tell fucking isch mail or never can

[00:19:43] nether where we are.

[00:19:45] Right.

[00:19:46] No, fuck you.

[00:19:47] You're coming.

[00:19:48] Yeah.

[00:19:49] And maybe even like this just occurred to me, maybe even they thought that if they took

[00:19:54] the quote unquote profit of God with them, that maybe that would protect them from punishment

[00:19:59] because surely God would not punish his own profit.

[00:20:01] It could be.

[00:20:02] It could be maybe bit of both right.

[00:20:04] This had your bets, right?

[00:20:05] Right.

[00:20:06] Like I'm not saying I believe this, but Justin Cates.

[00:20:09] Right.

[00:20:10] Yeah.

[00:20:11] All right.

[00:20:12] Well, so they're heading to Egypt and Jeremiah's along for the ride and now they're in Egypt

[00:20:16] now.

[00:20:17] They're in Egypt now.

[00:20:18] Sorry.

[00:20:19] And apparently now Babylon is going to fight Egypt, maybe.

[00:20:23] We'll see which is interesting.

[00:20:25] So yeah, I am going to look into that.

[00:20:28] No, I'm very curious.

[00:20:29] I don't know.

[00:20:30] I'm not sure that that actually happened.

[00:20:33] Right.

[00:20:34] I mean, it might have though.

[00:20:36] There are some things that do line up with the Bible.

[00:20:37] Sure.

[00:20:38] All right.

[00:20:39] Well, that being said, that was Jeremiah chapter 43.

[00:20:42] Sure.

[00:20:43] Fuck was.

[00:20:44] Which means that we'll be back tomorrow with.

[00:20:46] Jeremiah chapter 44, the end of this little narrative selection.

[00:20:50] All right.

[00:20:51] We'll see you guys then.

[00:20:52] Bye.

[00:20:53] Hey, wife.

[00:21:00] I guess that's the end.

[00:21:01] But husband, that's just sad.

[00:21:03] It doesn't have to be.

[00:21:04] We are on lots of social media platforms like Twitter or handle there is sacrilegious

[00:21:08] underscore D for these nuts.

[00:21:10] Oh my God.

[00:21:12] Stop doing that.

[00:21:13] Anyway, we're also on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.

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[00:21:19] Oh, we have a website.

[00:21:20] Yeah.

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[00:21:32] Our fans should really go check that out right now.

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