Jewish Folklore Episode 27: Sacrilegious Book Club

[00:00:00] Hey everyone, husband here.

[00:00:05] And I'm wife.

[00:00:06] If you've been listening to us, then you know we're all about reading the Bible and

[00:00:10] reacting to it on our first read-through.

[00:00:12] Cuss words, crying, laughing, and more.

[00:00:14] We're passionate about creating a podcast that takes the sanctity out of the sacred

[00:00:17] text and simply stating it as we see it.

[00:00:19] But we can't do it without your help.

[00:00:21] We're asking for your support to help us keep this podcast going.

[00:00:24] There are two ways you can donate. we're reading the Bible for the very first time. We grew up without religion and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Well, what have we learned so far? That God is a dick and apparently some people believe in talking donkeys? We're not trying to pass ourselves off as experts. Nope, we're just reading the Bible for the first time and giving our first take reaction. If you'd like to join us in this venture, you might consider starting in episode 1.

[00:01:42] Otherwise, jump in wherever you like.

[00:01:44] Alright, let's go read the Bible.

[00:01:46] Yeah, let's World to Come. Okay, you ready to do this? Yes, I am. Let's burrow.com slash ACAST. That's 15% off at burrow.com slash ACAST. Ryan Reynolds here from Midmobile. The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please for the love, everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments, but that's weird.

[00:04:23] Okay, one judgment.

[00:04:25] Anyway, give it a try at midmobile.com slash switch. characters from the Bible in this section. So the first one that I wanted to read today is on page 476 and is called King David Bousby for an idol. Oh right? Yeah very interesting. That is, yeah. Especially given what I'm reading. When David rules his people with the fear of God in his heart. He does only good, meets out justice and fulfills all of God's commandments. Now therefore consider who shy, when the people hear about my miserable plight, how my son Absalom attacked me

[00:07:00] and tried to kill me. What do you suppose they will think? They will say, what a waste to worship story so that other people, you're... Well, believe in your God. Right. Yeah. That's spreading a false message. I don't agree with that. I think that's shitty, actually. I totally agree. So. But I thought it was an interesting story. Like you said, given what we've been reading about. Right. Right.

[00:08:20] Okay, the next story is on page 477.

[00:08:23] It's called Better Than a Dead Lion.

[00:08:26] Once King David said to God, Dear to me is the Torah that you will study for one single day then a thousand sacrifices your son Solomon will bring upon my altar as king. Really I guess okay things weird but whatever from that time on king David spent the entire Sabbath day in devoted study of the Torah.

[00:10:42] because they can't bury him on the Sabbath. Oh, right, right.

[00:10:44] They can't work.

[00:10:45] They gotta leave them there.

[00:10:46] What you gon' do?

[00:10:47] That's right.

[00:10:48] But his bones are about to get scattered by dogs.

[00:10:51] Right.

[00:10:52] That's not cool.

[00:10:53] No.

[00:10:54] The sages replied, your father was a king in his life.

[00:10:58] Now that he is dead, he is only a corpse.

[00:11:00] One may not violate the Sabbath for the sake of a dead man.

[00:11:04] Oh my God.

[00:11:05] And when Solomon heard these words, he from Egypt a thousand different musical instruments.

[00:12:22] She instructed him in the use of them all saying, in this manner, you play to honor Pharaoh's daughter wife to play instruments to various gods. Oh my god. And idols. What a bunch of shit. Right? Like that's a really weird story. I know. That's why I wrote WTAF. Okay. Also I don't remember. They didn't get conquered during Solomon's time. Did they? No, but that happened eventually. Yeah, yeah. But I mean,

[00:13:44] kick the can down the road. All right. Yeah Gann-e-Dan at the east measures 800,000 I just described to you. The illustrious Rabbi Rab wrote in the Talmud, in paradise there is no eating, no drinking, no cohabitation, no business, no hatred or ambition, but this crazy is fine. Right, right. And it's like, okay, I agree with you that that crazy is not good, but. Sure, but like, you're parsing hairs at this point. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Celestial pleasures, this is still maya monadies.

[00:17:40] Celestial pleasures can be neither measured,

[00:17:44] nor comprehended by a mortal being. were no stars out and he drove right into a ditch. The wagon turned over and he lay underneath it, heff smothered by the mud. Hearing his cries, a rich man who, chance to pass by, came to his rescue. He ordered his coachman to pull the farmer from underneath the wagon and to free his horse. Then, tying a rope from his coach to the shaft of the wagon, he whipped up his horses and pulled

[00:19:04] the wagon out of the mud. He then drove the farmer angel. Let the poor farmer's horse and wagon be placed in the scales, asked the angel of mercy. God agreed and it was so done. Not enough cried the accusing angel. And this came us a fucked up a lot. Right? Yeah.

[00:20:22] Place in the scales, the mud which covered on page 507 and it's called Tapers to Heaven. A widow once came to the rabbi. She was all in tears that Angel Gabriel was like you Solomon, Lutcher, wife, do musical things of badness to idols. So I created the

[00:23:01] fucking Roman Empire to destroy you guys in. Bye! Hey, wife!

[00:24:20] I guess that's the end.

[00:24:21] But husband, that's just sad!