In this chaotic and confusing episode, Husband and Wife delve into the labyrinth of prophecies in Isaiah, chapter 22. They journey through the townsfolk's obliviousness to an imminent battle, the civilization's hedonistic tendencies despite impending doom, and a chilling revelation that their sins won't be pardoned. The hosts hilariously struggle to decode the cryptic language and barrage of names, leading to a fair share of banter and eye-rolls. They discuss how much easier life would be if prophecies were clear and straightforward instead of beating around the biblical bush. The episode ends with them labeling Isaiah as a 'fuck stick' for his frustrating prophecies and a warning that Q&A sessions will be critical for understanding this confusing book. They promise to be back with Isaiah, chapter 23, with an implicit guarantee of more confusion, laughter, and candid commentary.
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00:00 - Wife (Host)
Husband Wife. Do you remember where the hell we are and what the hell we're doing?
00:04 - Husband (Host)
We are in Isaiah and we just got done reading Isaiah, chapter 21, I believe Correct, and in that episode there were a lot of mini prophecy things.
00:16 - Wife (Host)
About Babylon and Duma and Arabia.
00:21 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, yeah, there's some guy writing in a horse yell and Ah, the British are coming. The.
00:26 - Wife (Host)
British are coming.
00:28 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, that's how it went.
00:30 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, that's exactly how that went.
00:32 - Husband (Host)
So since we read Isaiah chapter 21 yesterday, that would mean that today we're getting into.
00:39 - Wife (Host)
Isaiah, chapter 22.
00:41 - Husband (Host)
All right, let's go do this.
00:42 - Wife (Host)
Okie dokie, okay, so now we are hopping into Isaiah, chapter 22.
00:47 - Husband (Host)
00:48 - Wife (Host)
A prophecy against the valley of vision.
00:52 - Husband (Host)
The valley of vision, lazic. That's a really cool name, right, I mean yeah.
00:57 - Wife (Host)
The valley of vision. I like it Right, like it sounds like the name of a book or something.
01:02 - Husband (Host)
It really does, yeah.
01:03 - Wife (Host)
What troubles you now that you have all gone up on the roofs? You town so full of commotion.
01:10 - Husband (Host)
Maybe they didn't have battlemen on top of the roofs.
01:12 - Wife (Host)
You city of tumult and revelry. Ooh, that sounds like they're doing bad things, like in Sodom and Gomorrah.
01:19 - Husband (Host)
Revelry. That's just like the standard thing that happens in the Bible. They do bad things. God kills them.
01:25 - Wife (Host)
Yep, your slain, were not killed by the sword, nor did they die in battle. All your leaders have fled together. They have been captured without using the bow. All you who were caught were taken prisoner together, having fled while the enemy was still far away.
01:43 - Husband (Host)
Wait, how do you get captured when the enemy is still far away?
01:47 - Wife (Host)
I think it's kind of like he's saying you were dead before you even knew it.
01:52 - Husband (Host)
01:53 - Wife (Host)
Because you were doing bad things, so you were already caught, even before the enemy came and caught you.
01:59 - Husband (Host)
02:00 - Wife (Host)
Like you're the walking dead.
02:02 - Husband (Host)
Because you're going against God.
02:04 - Wife (Host)
You're going against God, you're done before you're even done. Yes, exactly that's my interpretation. I haven't done any studying, so I could be way off.
02:12 - Husband (Host)
But they were also talking about people that were slain, and then they went right into how they were captured.
02:17 - Wife (Host)
Right, but that's a prophecy of what's coming. So he's like I see that you guys are going to be captured, but the truth is you're already captured now and you don't even know it.
02:28 - Husband (Host)
02:28 - Wife (Host)
That's what I'm taking from this Sure. I could be totally wrong.
02:32 - Husband (Host)
02:33 - Wife (Host)
Therefore I said turn away from me, let me weep bitterly, do not try to console me over the destruction of my people. The Lord, the Lord Almighty, has a day of tumult and trampling and terror in the valley of vision, a day of battering down walls and of crying out to the mountains. Elam takes up the quiver with her charioteers and horses, kier uncovers the shield. Your choicest valleys are full of chariots and horsemen are posted at the city gates.
03:06 - Husband (Host)
So it sounds like they're surrounded by the enemy and that maybe like, if we're going for, like, an actual way that they're captured, they're captured by being surrounded Right and they're pinned in. They're pinned in.
03:17 - Wife (Host)
Mm-hmm. Maybe, Sure, I make as good a sense as any.
03:21 - Husband (Host)
03:22 - Wife (Host)
The Lord stripped away the defenses of Judah and you looked in that day to the weapons in the palace of the forest. I don't know what palace of the forest is, any more than the valley of vision.
03:34 - Husband (Host)
03:35 - Wife (Host)
These are some very cool names.
03:37 - Husband (Host)
03:38 - Wife (Host)
You saw that the walls of the city of David were broken through in many places. You stored up water in the lower pool Like they were doomsday preppers.
03:49 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, right, apparently it turned out. I guess that worked out well this time.
03:52 - Wife (Host)
03:53 - Husband (Host)
They're like it's the doomsday now, so we need that shit.
03:56 - Wife (Host)
We better store up some water, because next door neighbors got slashed Right.
04:02 - Husband (Host)
They got wrecked Right.
04:03 - Wife (Host)
So we're going to prep.
04:05 - Husband (Host)
04:06 - Wife (Host)
You counted the buildings in Jerusalem and tore down houses to strengthen the wall. Oh my god, you built a reservoir between the two walls for the water of the old pool, but you did not look to the one who made it or have regard for the one who planned it long ago.
04:26 - Husband (Host)
04:26 - Wife (Host)
You guys are taking all these actions, but the one thing you didn't do was turn to God.
04:32 - Husband (Host)
04:33 - Wife (Host)
The Lord, the Lord Almighty, called you on that day to weep and to wail, to tear out your hair and put on a sack cloth.
04:43 - Husband (Host)
It's always the sack cloth.
04:44 - Wife (Host)
He's got to put it on though, right, right.
04:46 - Husband (Host)
04:48 - Wife (Host)
But see, there is joy and revelry, slaughtering of cattle and killing of sheep, eating of meat and drinking of wine. Let us eat and drink, you say, for tomorrow we die. The Lord Almighty has revealed this in my hearing till your dying day, this sin will not be atoned for, says the Lord. The Lord Almighty.
05:11 - Husband (Host)
Okay, sorry, they had a hamburger before death. I mean, I have to admit, like if I was about, like if I knew that there was an impending battle, I'd be like, well, we got tonight. So I guess let's have some fun and eat some shit. That's good.
05:28 - Wife (Host)
Stay tonight, fight the break of dawn come tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be gone, right.
05:36 - Husband (Host)
05:37 - Wife (Host)
However, that song goes.
05:38 - Husband (Host)
05:39 - Wife (Host)
I mean, that's what I was thinking like yeah, we might as well, you know, empty our freezer and have a feast. Yeah, tomorrow we die.
05:47 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, I mean, either we die or we win, and if we win we can go out and get more food, Right?
05:52 - Wife (Host)
So Right, because that's what winning means.
05:54 - Husband (Host)
05:55 - Wife (Host)
Winning means grocery shopping.
05:56 - Husband (Host)
05:58 - Wife (Host)
All right, so now we're moving into a new section of this chapter.
06:01 - Husband (Host)
06:03 - Wife (Host)
This is what the Lord, the Lord Almighty says. I'm noticing like this repetition of the Lord the Lord Almighty that I hadn't seen before.
06:12 - Husband (Host)
06:13 - Wife (Host)
And I'm not enjoying it.
06:15 - Husband (Host)
Well, you gotta you gotta, he's gotta make sure that you know he's Almighty, that one Lord, that one Lord, he's Almighty.
06:20 - Wife (Host)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, Think about this like when they say the Lord, what they mean is master, the master.
06:28 - Husband (Host)
06:29 - Wife (Host)
I must bath before my master. I am the weak thing before my master, right like. Why do you wanna be like that? Why do you wanna be Igor?
06:40 - Husband (Host)
I don't know Right.
06:42 - Wife (Host)
This is what the Lord, the Lord Almighty, says. Go say to this steward, to Shabna, the palace administrator. What are you doing here, and who gave you permission to cut out a grave for yourself here?
06:56 - Husband (Host)
Cut out a what.
06:57 - Wife (Host)
Cut out a grave for yourself here.
07:00 - Husband (Host)
07:02 - Wife (Host)
Hewing your grave on the height and chiseling your resting place in the rock.
07:07 - Husband (Host)
I don't know who gave him permission.
07:08 - Wife (Host)
I didn't tell you to build a fucking grave here. Why are you doing it?
07:11 - Husband (Host)
07:12 - Wife (Host)
Like I'm about to die, so I'm gonna have me some hamburgers and I'm gonna go ahead and pick out my plot Right, like I'm not understanding, like yeah, I don't know. I'm about to die, yo, can you just not.
07:26 - Husband (Host)
07:27 - Wife (Host)
Just get off my fucking back.
07:28 - Husband (Host)
07:29 - Wife (Host)
Beware the Lord is about to take firm hold of you and hurl you away. You mighty man, Wow, he will roll you up tightly like a ball and throw you into a large country way over there A large country, okay. You're gonna catapult your ass, okay, yeah.
07:49 - Husband (Host)
Is this like at the circus, where they shoot you out of the cannon? They're gonna shoot him into another large country. Yeah, yeah.
07:58 - Wife (Host)
Pew, yeah, there you will die. Womp, womp, oh shit. And there the chariots you were so proud of will become a disgrace to your master's house. I'm always ashamed of my chariots.
08:11 - Husband (Host)
08:12 - Wife (Host)
I mean like when I drive a shitty car, I'm ashamed of it.
08:16 - Husband (Host)
I mean it's better than not having a car.
08:18 - Wife (Host)
Right, that's what I always think Like, honestly, when I go to the grocery store and people are like trying to park far away so that nobody hits their car, I'm like man, I don't give a shit what my car looks like.
08:29 - Husband (Host)
Also, I don't really understand how that works out for them because, like, if you park somewhere really far away in the odd part of the parking lot, someone not paying attention wouldn't really expect you to be there.
08:41 - Wife (Host)
08:42 - Husband (Host)
I wonder. I bet more cars get blasted into to try to park in the remote spots of a fucking parking place.
08:48 - Wife (Host)
08:49 - Husband (Host)
And when they park just regularly. Well, they're trying to avoid nicks and dings and baskets stray baskets rolling into them, you might avoid nicks and dings and baskets, but you are more likely, in my opinion, to get just blasted into by some car shooting across the parking lot.
09:06 - Wife (Host)
I would like to see the stats on that.
09:08 - Husband (Host)
I'm curious now about that. I don't know if anybody tracks that.
09:11 - Wife (Host)
If anybody knows where to get that information. I am curious about that. That seems like something that would be cool to know.
09:19 - Husband (Host)
09:19 - Wife (Host)
So that I can make fun of people who do that and be like, you're actually more likely to get crashed into Right Right. Or, conversely, I could say smart move, smart move.
09:30 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, yeah, whichever it is, maybe you're wrong, who knows? I definitely could be.
09:34 - Wife (Host)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. All right, I don't know how, oh, cars, chariots.
09:38 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, ashamed Right.
09:39 - Wife (Host)
Got it, mm-hmm. I will depose you from your office and you will be ousted from your position. In that I love the word ousted, mm-hmm. In that day, I will summon my servant, eliakim. Eliakim, son of Hilkiah. I will clothe him with your robe and fasten your sash around him and hand your authority over to him. He will be a father to those who live in Jerusalem and to the people of Judah. I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David. What he opens, no one can shut, and what he shuts, no one can open.
10:24 - Husband (Host)
Hmm, that sounds like a problem. Well, like, if he goes away, then you can't do anything.
10:29 - Wife (Host)
Like if he shuts the fridge, I can't get into the fridge.
10:32 - Husband (Host)
10:33 - Wife (Host)
But then if he opens it, it's got to stay open and let all the air out.
10:36 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, sounds like a bunch of shit, I don't understand. I don't like that.
10:39 - Wife (Host)
That's a bad plan.
10:40 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, it's a bad plan.
10:40 - Wife (Host)
Cool around. I will drive him like a peg. Yeah, you will. He's going to peg him what? I will drive him like a peg into a firm place. He will become a seat of honor for the house of his father. Hold on, hold on, hold, on, hold, on, hold, on Hold on.
10:55 - Husband (Host)
You said firm after you guys just got done with all those sexual and whatever I'm having trouble with words Sexual and you went to the skin.
11:01 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, that's what I meant.
11:03 - Husband (Host)
And you didn't say anything about firm. I thought they just. You saw me roll my eyes the whole way through the whole thing. You went through there before, but then you get to firm and you're just like whatever.
11:13 - Wife (Host)
Because you had already rolled your eyes so much. I was like I've already gotten away with all that I can. Anything past this, you're going to like start giving me the.
11:21 - Husband (Host)
So this was you conceding to me.
11:23 - Wife (Host)
11:24 - Husband (Host)
Some nice yes Okay.
11:27 - Wife (Host)
Because I knew if I did one more thing in that particular moment, like I got spread them out, that was too much in one moment. If I had went with the firm and went, then you would have done like the hand across your neck, like where you're, like, stop.
11:42 - Husband (Host)
Right Stop. I was getting pretty close to I know.
11:45 - Wife (Host)
I could tell. That's why I was like I'm going to let this one go.
11:48 - Husband (Host)
11:48 - Wife (Host)
Okay, let it ride All right, yeah. I think that you did good. I'm proud.
11:52 - Husband (Host)
I'm proud of you, oh, thanks.
11:54 - Wife (Host)
11:54 - Husband (Host)
You did a great job there, thanks yeah.
11:57 - Wife (Host)
All the glory of his family will hang on him. It's offspring and offshoots, all its lesser vessels, from the bulls to all the jars. From the cups and the glasses and the plates and the platters.
12:14 - Husband (Host)
12:15 - Wife (Host)
The pans and the pots.
12:17 - Husband (Host)
12:17 - Wife (Host)
Okay, in that day, declares the Lord Almighty, the peg driven into the firm place will give way. Okay, it will be sheared off, ouch, and will fall and the load hanging on it will be cut the fuck down. Boom. The Lord has spoken the end.
12:42 - Husband (Host)
12:43 - Wife (Host)
God be honest, I was too busy laughing and having fun and I didn't catch a lot. I don't understand.
12:48 - Husband (Host)
I was paying attention and I still don't. There's some guy that's powerful, that he's going to get shot into another land and then die, and then one of his sons God's going to make powerful and then.
13:00 - Wife (Host)
Give him his robe or whatever.
13:01 - Husband (Host)
Give him his robe and shit, and then everything will be good until the peg gets severed and then the load will come tumbling down.
13:08 - Wife (Host)
I guess Okay.
13:10 - Husband (Host)
I don't know.
13:11 - Wife (Host)
13:13 - Husband (Host)
Isaiah is very confusing.
13:14 - Wife (Host)
It really is.
13:15 - Husband (Host)
He's not real clear. I don't understand why do people that speak in prophecies have to speak so vaguely and shitty? You can't understand what they're fucking getting at.
13:24 - Wife (Host)
No, just say what you mean, just say yeah.
13:28 - Husband (Host)
If you see it, just tell us what it is.
13:30 - Wife (Host)
13:31 - Husband (Host)
It's a lot like when they talk to God. They're like they're, they're speaking and in ways that you can't understand what they mean.
13:40 - Wife (Host)
Why does it gotta have these thousand those? Just like it was a house. I saw this house it was about. It was two stories tall. It had columns, like just describe it.
13:50 - Husband (Host)
Right, right. Why do we have to say well, when he says this, they actually mean that I get imagery, I get comparing things to other things.
13:58 - Wife (Host)
I get all that stuff, but what if you don't use imagery?
14:00 - Husband (Host)
Right, and we've said this before, I think why, in a book that we're trying to? This is the word of God. Why can't God for the ages be a little bit more concise about what he means? Just?
14:14 - Wife (Host)
14:14 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, that's all I'm asking.
14:16 - Wife (Host)
Just be clear. You know I shouldn't have to try so hard is all I'm saying.
14:19 - Husband (Host)
I'm not saying you can't intermix some beautiful, you know.
14:23 - Wife (Host)
Poesy yeah in there.
14:25 - Husband (Host)
That's totally fine, but like, could you intermix it with some like exactness?
14:30 - Wife (Host)
Here's the thing there are times when, sure, in all of those Psalms and Proverbs and what the fuck ever, sure go nuts. Have fun, make those as poetic and imagery-driven as you want, you are delivering fucking prophecies, Right? I think that the listener deserves a little clarity.
14:51 - Husband (Host)
Well, and if you want us to believe a prophecy, the prophecy should be clear. Just be straight yeah because, like, if you are vague about what you're saying, then you're not gonna elicit my support when it comes down to it, because I'm gonna be like, well, that could have meant a lot of things.
You're choosing to interpret it that way. But if you would have spelled it out like just spelled it out right, and said what's gonna happen exactly, no one could question that that's an actual thing. You know, like that's a thing that happened or didn't happen or whatever, you're either right or wrong at that point. But when you're doing this stuff and beating around the bush about it, people are gonna say I call bullshit. And you know what? I think we're right to say I call bullshit.
15:37 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, same same same.
15:39 - Husband (Host)
Whatever fucking Isaiah's prophecies are crap.
15:42 - Wife (Host)
I think. So I also think that our Q&A this weekend is gonna be similar to the one that we did for this last weekend, where it's gonna be a summary, like a do-over. Where I go back over the chapters and be like here's what actually happened.
15:58 - Husband (Host)
I'm getting the impression that a lot of our episodes in Isaiah are gonna require a very thorough Q&A at the end of the week, because there's a lot of mention, there's a lot of name dropping. Yes, there's a lot of name dropping and geography and places and things that I can't keep track of when we're, because, like the way we read it, we're reading it through without doing a lot of research ahead of time, right, and we're just kind of reacting as we go through.
And that's the way we've always done it, yeah, but this is very difficult to follow without doing some of that, and so I think, more than any other time in our podcast, these Q&As are gonna be very, very important if you wanna follow the story.
16:37 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, if you just like hearing this banter?
16:39 - Husband (Host)
then whatever, fuck it.
16:40 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, that's fine too. Yeah, but I know a lot of our more core listeners kind of skip the Q&As.
16:47 - Husband (Host)
16:48 - Wife (Host)
I get it like it's not me reading the Bible, so I get that, but just FYI, like the one from last Saturday, I know husband found it very helpful. Yeah, and we heard from some other listeners in our Discord that they found it helpful.
17:04 - Husband (Host)
17:05 - Wife (Host)
And so I think we're just gonna have to do that throughout Isaiah, because he's a fuck stick.
17:12 - Husband (Host)
Right, definitely so. On that note, now that Isaiah is a fuck stick, we're done with it, I think.
17:18 - Wife (Host)
17:19 - Husband (Host)
So that was Isaiah, chapter 22.
17:21 - Wife (Host)
It was, it sure was when Isaiah was a fuck stick.
17:24 - Husband (Host)
And that means that tomorrow we'll be back reading.
17:27 - Wife (Host)
Isaiah, chapter 23.
17:29 - Husband (Host)
All right, we'll see you, guys then.
17:31 - Wife (Host)