Bible Study for Atheists: Exodus Bonus Episode

[00:00:00] Husband! Yes, wife? Let's read the Bible. But we're atheists. Why would we want to do such a thing?

[00:00:05] Because we live in small-town USA and everyone around us quotes this thing extensively

[00:00:11] and we have no idea how to respond. That's true. Neither of us grew up with religion,

[00:00:16] yet Christianity is playing a huge part in our country's politics. We're not scholars or

[00:00:21] academics so Sacrilegious Discourse is our first take reaction. This feed houses our reading of

[00:00:26] the book of Exodus and each subsequent book will get its own separate feed too.

[00:00:32] Why are we separating each book? Not all podcast platforms allow access to older episodes.

[00:00:37] This will ensure our listeners don't lose access to any of our previously released material.

[00:00:42] You can find our most recent episodes on our main channel, Sacrilegious Discourse.

[00:00:46] That's right! Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss a single episode.

[00:00:50] Hey you, welcome to Sacrilegious Discourse. I'm husband. I'm wife. And together we're reading the

[00:01:01] Bible. Starting with Genesis and eventually ending with Revelations, we're working through every

[00:01:07] book and offering our Atheists two cents. Four shekels. Yeah, those. We're asking questions

[00:01:14] and pointing out all the nonsense. We aren't academics or scholars. Nope! In fact, when it

[00:01:18] comes to religion, we really don't know anything at all. What we've learned so far is that God's a

[00:01:24] dick. Oh, he really is isn't he? If you're interested in how we reached this startling

[00:01:30] conclusion, maybe start from episode one. Otherwise jump in anywhere. It's all good. Yep!

[00:01:49] Husband. Wife. Guess what? What? I'm mad at you. Why are you mad at me? Because

[00:01:56] right before we went on air, you asked me, did you research anything that we talked about?

[00:02:05] And then I was like, oh no. Because I just have like a summary and a quiz and stuff.

[00:02:11] Wait, this is why you're mad at me? Yeah. And then you were like, I did. Ho, ho, ho.

[00:02:17] And I was like, oh, you should have told me after we got on the air.

[00:02:22] Why didn't tell you anything about it? You said it was Shekels. Yeah, I know. That's the only thing I,

[00:02:28] you know, don't get your hopes up anybody. I didn't learn that much. I just have a little bit of,

[00:02:33] you know, novelty because my wife was supposed to do the research. Right, but you could have waited

[00:02:37] is all I'm saying. I could have, but I and I didn't. And you didn't and that's why I'm mad

[00:02:43] at you. Okay. And whatever you say. So this is our bonus episode. Yeah. Oh yeah. This

[00:02:49] is our bonus episode for Exodus, the book of Exodus, which we have finished. Two books of the

[00:02:57] Bible down. Awesome. And so we're going to do a summary and a quiz and a bit about Shekels

[00:03:04] and whatnot and what have you. Okay. Also, hey, don't forget to check out our website,

[00:03:09] sacreligiousdiscourse.com. Wow, you had a hard time with that. I had to think about it for

[00:03:15] a second. Remember how I couldn't spell it early on? So now I just, you know, you still can't

[00:03:19] spell it. Now I can't even speak it apparently. Right. Right. So yeah, sacreligiousdiscourse.com.

[00:03:24] Oh, there it is. Yeah, I got it right that time. Okay. All right, let's do this episode. Yeah.

[00:03:34] Hey wife. Yes, husband. Did you know that we are now on Patreon?

[00:03:40] Um, yes, because you told me, but also no, tell me more.

[00:03:44] So we're on Patreon now. Are we? We are and our supporters can go there and support us and we

[00:03:50] have multiple levels all the way up to you killed God. That sounds really drastic and escalated

[00:03:57] quickly ish. Well, no, there's multiple levels before there. So that's escalates on a sliding

[00:04:02] scale of, you know, cheap to not cheap. But you know, we can definitely use any amount. So like

[00:04:08] any support is always appreciated. So what exactly is Patreon? It's a place where you can

[00:04:14] show your support for our podcast and just our podcast, any podcast or any performer. But you

[00:04:20] know, we're the ones that, you know, you're listening to right now. So maybe you should,

[00:04:24] you know, support us. That'd be awesome. That would be awesome. But we love you anyway.

[00:04:28] So all you got to do is go to Patreon, look up sacreligiousdiscourse. It's actually

[00:04:32] Patreon.com forward slash sacreligiousdiscourse is our actual main page there. So head on over and

[00:04:39] send us some love. Yeah. Okay, so I have some questions for you. I have possible answers for

[00:04:49] you. What do you remember about the book of Exodus? I remember there was a lot of Moses and

[00:04:55] there was a lot of Aaron and there was a lot of garments and a lot of art building and a lot

[00:05:00] of directions on how to build said set arc and also tax collection and stuff like that.

[00:05:07] That's really funny because that's like the most of what I remember. But then when I was working

[00:05:12] on the summary, like what we remember from the reading of it is not even the important bits

[00:05:17] that we were supposed to take from it. I mean, that's funny. Yeah, I mean, well, I'm,

[00:05:24] I don't view the Bible as that important, I guess. So there's this, that

[00:05:28] well, let's test our memory a little better. I have a pop quiz here. Okay, I haven't looked at

[00:05:33] the answer. So I don't know. I really didn't even look at the questions honestly.

[00:05:40] This is what we call preparation. Well, yeah, I found a quiz the end. Okay, ready. I'm ready.

[00:05:47] Oh, my phone just went out. Your phone's always doing something stupid. Well, this time it

[00:05:50] didn't scroll this time at the screen back in. Okay. But it's back ready. Yeah, I'm ready.

[00:05:55] Okay, question number one. What was the name of Moses's brother? Aaron. Okay, well, I had choices

[00:06:02] for you but okay, well it's gotta be Aaron. I'm sure it's Aaron. Okay, number two, who rescued

[00:06:08] Moses from the Ark of the Bullrushes Pharaoh's daughter Pharaoh's maid Pharaoh's wife or Pharaoh's

[00:06:15] mother? This is what I'm talking about. Say those answers again. Pharaoh's daughter,

[00:06:22] maid, wife or mother? Daughter I believe. I think you're right. That's what I remember.

[00:06:28] Okay, number three, what did the Israelites borrow from their neighbors?

[00:06:33] Israelites borrow from their neighbors. Do we have options? Yeah. Jules, milk, lamb,

[00:06:39] or earthen pots? I don't recall this. I don't either. But I'm gonna guess since they do a lot

[00:06:44] of sacrifice and they're gonna borrow some lamb. See, I would have said milk. Okay.

[00:06:49] It's green. I don't know if that means anything, but

[00:06:53] I'll check the answers when we're done. Okay. Number four, how many plagues did God send on?

[00:06:59] False. That's not even one of the fucking choices. What are the choices?

[00:07:04] Five, 10, 15 or 20. Five, 10, 15 or 20. I'm gonna go with

[00:07:12] 10. That's correct. Is it? Yeah. What was the second plague?

[00:07:21] Is there choices here too? Yes. Okay, thank God. Frogs, water turned to blood, locus or darkness.

[00:07:28] Oh shit. I feel like they got worse as they went on, so I'm gonna go with darkness.

[00:07:35] I know that that's wrong. Oh. It's green also, but I know that that's wrong.

[00:07:41] Why did they make green the wrong answer thing? I don't know. I don't know, but I

[00:07:45] Green's usually like, you know, I know that darkness was like nine or 10. Guys, this quiz is jacked.

[00:07:51] This is jacked. Okay. Number six, Aaron turned his rod into a serpent. He turned his rod. He said

[00:07:58] rod. Aaron turned his stick into a serpent before Pharaoh and Pharaoh's magicians did likewise.

[00:08:07] But what happened to their serpents? Did they get eaten by his serpents? Yeah, what are the choices?

[00:08:16] They were consumed by fire. Oh, oh, by fire. Okay. They fell into dust.

[00:08:21] Dust? Aaron's rod swallowed them. Okay. Or they attacked Pharaoh. I'm gonna go with my original

[00:08:27] instinct and say it swallowed them. I don't know if that was right or not. Okay. It

[00:08:31] doesn't seem like that would be right. Does it grate it for us? I don't know. I'm

[00:08:34] We're still going. Yeah, we're still going. I'm gonna tell you a lot of questions. There's only 10.

[00:08:38] We're on number seven for sake. I don't like tests. I'm done with school, you know, like,

[00:08:46] and this is a Bible test for Christ's sake. Okay, but you're just really dramatic and whiny.

[00:08:51] Well, I mean, we've covered that before I am whiny. Comb your tits. Number seven,

[00:08:55] what sea did the Israelites cross through to escape the Egyptians?

[00:09:00] I do you want the choices? Give me the choices. Dead sea, Black sea, Red sea, Sea of Galilee.

[00:09:08] It seems like it should be the Red Sea. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's it. Okay. Number eight,

[00:09:17] at what place did the Israelites arrive only to find the water was too bitter to drink

[00:09:22] whereupon God caused it to become sweet. I don't even recall that. I know I don't either.

[00:09:27] What are my choices? Mara, Elam, Horrib or Midian. I remember Elam. So I'm gonna say Elam.

[00:09:34] I don't think that's right, but okay. Okay. What bird did God provide for meat in the wilderness?

[00:09:41] I don't recall this either. You know, there's different versions of the Bible. Like,

[00:09:45] I wonder if like these questions are based on like some other version of the Bible too.

[00:09:49] Okay, the words might be different, but the story is the same. Right. But like,

[00:09:53] they might have missed a detail in there about these questions. I doubt it.

[00:09:57] Okay. Okay. Pigeon, quail, turtledove or raven? I mean, just because it's in the Christmas song,

[00:10:03] I'm gonna say turtledove. Sure. Like I don't even know. Okay. Number 10. Oh, there's more than

[00:10:10] 10 questions. You lied. I didn't lie. That implies malice. I was mistaken. Okay, fine.

[00:10:16] Number 10, what guided the Israelites through the wilderness? Want your choices? You always

[00:10:23] look like you're about to guess. No, I was just going to say sheer stupidity. Probably that one.

[00:10:29] A star in the sky. Moses had visions telling him where to lead the people.

[00:10:34] A pillar of cloud and a fire or Moses had a map. It was the pillar of cloud and fire.

[00:10:39] I really liked that Moses had a map. But I think you're right. A pillar of cloud and fire.

[00:10:46] How does cloud and fire make a pillar? I mean, well, pillar obviously, you know,

[00:10:52] there's a pillar. Right? And then it's cloudy with lightning coming through it. So they're

[00:10:58] out of the fire. I always think of a pillar as being like made of marble or something similar.

[00:11:04] Right. But I mean, like the shape of a pillar. Okay, whatever. Right. Number 11.

[00:11:08] When there was no water to drink, how did Moses provide it? From a fleshy plant,

[00:11:14] from earthen jars, from his rod or from a rock?

[00:11:21] Sorry. You're nasty.

[00:11:25] Like, I was literally going to say he was going to pee. And then you said from his rod.

[00:11:31] And I'm like, I think regardless of what the actual answer is, I have to pick the rod.

[00:11:36] I think it was his rod, but you know, not the way you mean it.

[00:11:40] Number 12. On which mountain were the Israelites given the Ten Commandments?

[00:11:45] I know this one. You don't need your choices, do you? Mount Sinai. Very good.

[00:11:49] Just so you know, the other choices were Mount Nebo, Mount Olives and Mount Everett.

[00:11:56] Mount Olives. I wish that there was like old smoky, Mount Old Smoky on top of. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:12:04] Number 13. What is the seventh commandment? Thou shall not. You're good so far.

[00:12:12] Forget the fucking Bible. Oh my God. What are my choices? Covet, steel, commit adultery or bear

[00:12:20] false witness. I'm going to go with bear false witness. Yeah, I couldn't even tell you.

[00:12:24] Because I have no idea. I didn't know. Like, I don't know. I mean, I know them vaguely.

[00:12:28] And you know what? Nobody actually knows except for Moses because he broke the first

[00:12:31] fucking tablet. It's true. He broke the first round. So it could have been a completely

[00:12:34] different order the first time. It's true. I mean, we're right even if we're wrong.

[00:12:38] Yeah, exactly. Number 14. What was on top of the Ark of the Covenant? Oh, I know this one.

[00:12:44] Fucking gold.

[00:12:48] Okay, but that's not what they mean. Do you know it? What are my choices? But do you

[00:12:53] know it even without the choice? There was Cherub's. Okay, I think it's that one.

[00:12:56] Two cherubim candlestick golden bowl or Aaron's rod. Okay, I have to tell you every

[00:13:03] time I see the name Aaron, it's definitely not Aaron's rod. But listen, every time I

[00:13:06] see the name Aaron, I always think of that key and pill skit. And it's the one where he's

[00:13:11] a teacher and he calls the kid A. A. Ron. Yeah, that was good stuff. You don't even know.

[00:13:18] Never mind. How do you not know? I know who key and pill are. I just I don't remember that

[00:13:25] skit. Oh my God. It's like one of the most famous ones. I kind of remember it but like

[00:13:30] no, you either you either remember or not. And if you don't remember, you suck the end.

[00:13:36] All right. So what was on top? I think it was the bowl actually. I think it's the two cherubim.

[00:13:41] Well, I thought the cherubim were on the side of the fucking Ark. Well, I'm going with cherubim.

[00:13:45] That's fine. I let you pick the other one. No, that's completely fair. Okay, number 15.

[00:13:51] What type of stone were the 12 children of Israel to have their names engraved? Oh my God.

[00:13:57] Remember how they had all those fucking stones? Yeah, there was like a black something or other.

[00:14:01] I thought an emerald and onyx, a sapphire or a jade. Oh, it's definitely the onyx. You think? Yeah.

[00:14:07] I don't even remember because there were rocks for everything. I'm pretty sure it was the onyx.

[00:14:12] Number 16. What color was the priest robe? There was three colors. What are the choices

[00:14:17] here? Red, blue, scarlet, purple. Seriously? It was all of them, right? But there is no

[00:14:28] all of the above. I'm going to say purple because whatever. Because whatever. I agree with that reasoning.

[00:14:35] Number 17. What compelled the Israelites to form and worship the golden calf?

[00:14:43] Aaron. I know, right? But Aaron. And Moses was taken to goddamn long. True.

[00:14:50] Like, dude did not come down off that mountain. Hashtag fast. They probably thought he was dead.

[00:14:54] I know. I mean. Okay, so here's your choices. When I think my, you know, spiritual leader is

[00:15:00] dead, I always worship golden calves. True. That's like the first step after that. That's what I do.

[00:15:05] I always go to everybody and I collect all their gold and I melt it down into a fucking cow.

[00:15:10] Every single time. Like that's just like the next logical step. That's what you do. Obviously.

[00:15:15] That is what you do. Yeah. Okay, so A, they wanted to make a statue to the Lord. No.

[00:15:19] No.

[00:15:20] B, they created it as repentance for their sins. No. No. C, they made it as a symbol of their

[00:15:29] freedom from slavery. No. I don't feel like that was it. I think it's this last one.

[00:15:34] And it kind of goes along with what you said. Okay. They didn't know what had happened to Moses.

[00:15:39] Right. Yeah. Exactly. That's the one we're picking. Yeah. That's the right answer.

[00:15:44] I don't even care. Worship a golden calf. No. You can stop it. They just wanted to worship something.

[00:15:50] Yeah. Yeah. Number 18. What was the name of a man who was given the Spirit of God to enable him to

[00:15:57] become a good craftsman and assist with the building of the Tabernacle? There was actually two.

[00:16:03] But who do you think they want? They want the Bezalil. Yep. Bezalil. Bezalil.

[00:16:13] Beelzebub. Yeah, that. The other choices were Caleb, Uri or Buzz. Don't forget a holy ab though.

[00:16:20] I know. A holy ab. Hashtag a holy ab. I know. F*****g got dissed all the way through. I feel

[00:16:27] really sorry for them. Because he's from the tribe of Dan. The tribe of Dan. I feel really...

[00:16:29] The tribe of Dan always gets sh** on. They get all the crap. They really get overlooked.

[00:16:34] F*****g tribe of Dan. Tribe of Dan. Number 19. Who was Moses's successor?

[00:16:40] Moses's successor? Who was his successor? What are my choices? I mean, I would have thought Aaron.

[00:16:46] Joshua, Caleb, Aaron or your favorite boy, a holy ab. Oh, they got a holy ab there, huh?

[00:16:52] Yeah, but I don't think that's the answer. It's definitely not the answer. He was just the

[00:16:56] seamstress. They just took another name from Exis and they're like throw that in there.

[00:17:00] I think Aaron. I wouldn't really call him like a successor though.

[00:17:05] I wouldn't either. He just was like the mouthpiece because Moses couldn't f*****g talk.

[00:17:08] Yeah, yeah. But I mean that's what I would say. That's what I would pick of those.

[00:17:12] I didn't really know he had a successor so much as he had a partner.

[00:17:16] Yeah. Whatever. I mean that's kind of how it felt. Yeah.

[00:17:19] 20. For how many years did the Israelites wander in the wilderness? 20, 30, 40 or 50?

[00:17:27] I'm gonna go with 40. I think that's right. Okay.

[00:17:31] But honestly, I don't know the answer to that. So let's see.

[00:17:34] You calculating our scores here? Yeah, we got, looks like we got a 71.5.

[00:17:40] Hey, that's a passing grade, you know? I am okay with a passing grade.

[00:17:45] Wait. Does he even tell you which ones we got right and wrong?

[00:17:48] Where's the answer? I told you this was a jacked up quiz. Oh my god.

[00:17:53] What the f**k? Can you go back through and like... Wait, submit.

[00:17:56] Oh yeah, you gotta hit the f*****g button. Oh, I forgot to put our name in.

[00:17:59] Oh my gosh. Okay, hang on. This is like all kinds of fail. Just stop.

[00:18:04] Do you want me to tell them about the Shekel while we're waiting?

[00:18:06] No, I already did it and you tell us about the Shekel in a minute.

[00:18:09] Oh, okay. All right. Ready? Yeah.

[00:18:11] What was the name of Moses' brother? Aaron. High five. Yay.

[00:18:15] Number two, who rescued Moses from the ark of the bulrushes?

[00:18:19] Pharaoh's daughter. Correct. Yay. I knew that one.

[00:18:22] What did the Israelites borrow from their neighbors? We chose lamb.

[00:18:26] The answer was jewels. Why did they borrow jewels?

[00:18:30] Okay. That seems stupid. Yeah.

[00:18:32] God had promised Abraham... Because they had to give him to, you know, make the...

[00:18:36] Hush. God had promised Abraham that when the Israelites left Egypt,

[00:18:40] they would come out with great possessions. So they borrowed them.

[00:18:44] Okay. Yeah. That's dumb. That is dumb.

[00:18:47] How many plagues did God send on Egypt? 10.

[00:18:50] I was right. We got that right. Holy s**t.

[00:18:52] Yeah. I knew that one. What was the second plague?

[00:18:56] I told you it wasn't darkness. It was frogs.

[00:18:59] It was frogs. Good little frog plague.

[00:19:01] I would have gone with either frogs or water turned to blood.

[00:19:04] I couldn't remember, but I know it was one of them. So I was better than you.

[00:19:07] Right. You're always better than me.

[00:19:09] I am, baby. Oh, I love you. I love you.

[00:19:12] Number six, Aaron turned his rod stick into a serpent before Pharaoh and Pharaoh's magician

[00:19:20] did likewise. But what happened to their serpents?

[00:19:22] We chose they were consumed by fire. But the answer was Aaron's rod swallowed them.

[00:19:28] I thought I chose Aaron's rod. I said Aaron's rod swallowed them.

[00:19:31] No, I got it. I said that backwards. Okay.

[00:19:34] You said Aaron's rod swallowed them, but they were consumed by fire.

[00:19:38] Sorry. All right. Sorry. All right.

[00:19:40] So we got that one wrong. Okay.

[00:19:41] Okay. What seed did the Israelites cross? It was the red seed.

[00:19:45] We got that one right. At what place did the Israelites arrive?

[00:19:49] Only to find the water was too bitter to drink. You said Elam, it was Mara.

[00:19:54] Okay. Like Mara Lago.

[00:19:59] Yeah, I wouldn't drink the water there either.

[00:20:04] What bird did God provide for meat in the wilderness?

[00:20:06] You chose turtledove because of a fucking Christmas Carol.

[00:20:10] Oh, yeah.

[00:20:10] But the answer was quail, obviously.

[00:20:12] Why is it obvious?

[00:20:13] Because you eat quail, you don't eat turtledove.

[00:20:16] How do you know if you ever tried turtledove?

[00:20:18] You hear about people going hunting and what they eat when they go hunting,

[00:20:24] and they hunt for quail. They hunt quail. They don't fucking hunt turtledove.

[00:20:30] Maybe they were so good they hunted them out of extinction.

[00:20:32] I don't want to hear you shit. You're nonsense.

[00:20:35] What guided the Israelites through the wilderness?

[00:20:37] A pillar of cloud and fire.

[00:20:39] That one was easy.

[00:20:40] Yeah. When there was no water to drink, how did Moses provide it?

[00:20:44] You chose from his Peter.

[00:20:50] It was from a rock.

[00:20:52] Because you can't get water from stone.

[00:20:55] That's where that phrase comes from.

[00:20:57] But he did.

[00:20:59] Right, but it was magic.

[00:21:01] Under normal circumstances without God or whatever.

[00:21:06] Got it.

[00:21:06] You, a normal human being cannot...

[00:21:09] Got it. I got it.

[00:21:10] Got it.

[00:21:10] Okay. On which mountain were the Israelites given the 10 commandments?

[00:21:15] Mount Sinai, we got that one right.

[00:21:17] What is the seventh commandment?

[00:21:19] Yeah, no idea.

[00:21:20] Which one did we choose?

[00:21:21] We chose, um, thou shalt not bear false witness?

[00:21:25] Sure.

[00:21:25] The answer was thou shalt not commit adultery.

[00:21:28] Okay.

[00:21:28] I guess we failed that one and so...

[00:21:32] I don't really care.

[00:21:32] Are we going to commit adultery now?

[00:21:35] No.

[00:21:36] Okay, better not.

[00:21:37] Right.

[00:21:37] Okay.

[00:21:38] What was on top of the Ark of the Covenant?

[00:21:41] You were right.

[00:21:42] I was right.

[00:21:42] It was two cherubim.

[00:21:44] Huh.

[00:21:44] Ha ha.

[00:21:45] Okay.

[00:21:46] When I was first reading this and it said golden bull,

[00:21:48] and I was just like skimming it real quick,

[00:21:51] I thought it said goldfish bull.

[00:21:52] And I was like, I know that one's wrong.

[00:21:54] It's definitely not a goldfish bull on top of the ark.

[00:21:56] Not a goldfish bull.

[00:21:57] No.

[00:21:57] It's also not a golden bull.

[00:21:59] Right.

[00:22:00] Okay.

[00:22:00] On what type of stone were the 12 children of Israel

[00:22:03] to have their names engraved?

[00:22:05] Score one for me.

[00:22:06] Yep.

[00:22:06] It was an onyx.

[00:22:08] I would not necessarily have got that.

[00:22:09] I don't know what I probably would have just picked the first one

[00:22:12] in emerald, so fuck me.

[00:22:15] What color was the priest's robe?

[00:22:17] We picked purple, but it was blue.

[00:22:19] I think that's bullshit.

[00:22:20] I think that also is bullshit.

[00:22:21] That was a bullshit question.

[00:22:23] Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm almost certain they said

[00:22:26] that they were all those colors.

[00:22:27] It was all those colors and all those threads.

[00:22:30] Right.

[00:22:30] Those three colors.

[00:22:31] It was very important that they covered those colors

[00:22:33] multiple times.

[00:22:34] Multiple times.

[00:22:35] The middle garment beneath the ephod

[00:22:37] and above the coat made from one piece of fabric

[00:22:40] and similar in design to the robe Christ

[00:22:42] was wearing at the crucifixion.

[00:22:44] Whatever.

[00:22:44] Right.

[00:22:46] What compelled the Israelites to form and worship

[00:22:48] the golden calf?

[00:22:49] We were right.

[00:22:50] They didn't know what the fuck had happened to Moses,

[00:22:53] and they were like,

[00:22:53] God, I worship something.

[00:22:55] Might as well be a cow, and hey,

[00:22:56] let's make it out of gold.

[00:22:57] Sure, why not?

[00:22:58] That makes total logical sense.

[00:22:59] Even though they'd seen miracles performed by this.

[00:23:02] Sure.

[00:23:03] Yeah.

[00:23:04] Yep.

[00:23:05] What?

[00:23:05] Sorry, there was a sound,

[00:23:06] and I was like,

[00:23:07] I think it was our cat scratching at the litter box.

[00:23:09] Yeah, I think you're right.

[00:23:10] I was trying to figure out what it was.

[00:23:14] Got distracted.

[00:23:15] Sorry.

[00:23:15] I saw that.

[00:23:16] You stopped mid-word and turned around,

[00:23:18] and I'm just looking at you like,

[00:23:20] hello?

[00:23:20] What's going on over there?

[00:23:21] Our cat was taking a shit.

[00:23:22] I guess she was.

[00:23:24] What was the name of a man who was given

[00:23:26] the Spirit of God to enable him to become

[00:23:28] a good craftsman?

[00:23:29] And we got that right.

[00:23:30] It was Beelzebob.

[00:23:30] That was pretty easy.

[00:23:31] I mean, I know.

[00:23:33] Bezel, Bezeliel.

[00:23:34] Bezeliel.

[00:23:35] Bezeliel.

[00:23:35] Bezeliel.

[00:23:36] Or Bezelel.

[00:23:37] But in print, it's Bezelel.

[00:23:39] Right.

[00:23:39] In title, it's Bezeliel.

[00:23:41] Yeah, I don't understand exactly, but

[00:23:43] it probably means something better,

[00:23:44] like in Hebrew or Arabic or whatever.

[00:23:46] I'm sure.

[00:23:47] I'm sure.

[00:23:47] Okay.

[00:23:48] What was, who was Moses's successor?

[00:23:51] It was not Aaron.

[00:23:52] It was Joshua.

[00:23:54] I don't even recall them covering that.

[00:23:57] Was there a Joshua?

[00:23:58] Like, I don't even remember that.

[00:23:59] Right.

[00:24:00] Who cares?

[00:24:01] How many years did the Israelites wander

[00:24:04] in the wilderness?

[00:24:05] 40, bro.

[00:24:06] We got that one right.

[00:24:08] Oh, the average score was 71.

[00:24:11] We got it 55%.

[00:24:13] We're literally reading the Bible.

[00:24:15] And we failed.

[00:24:16] We got 55%.

[00:24:17] We failed.

[00:24:18] We suck.

[00:24:19] Yeah.

[00:24:19] We suck really bad.

[00:24:21] Man.

[00:24:21] Yeah.

[00:24:22] Sorry guys.

[00:24:23] We are not, we are not

[00:24:26] Bible buffs, apparently.

[00:24:27] We're no good.

[00:24:30] We don't do Bible.

[00:24:31] We suck at Bible.

[00:24:33] We rule at like making fun of the Bible though.

[00:24:36] Yes.

[00:24:36] We are pros.

[00:24:37] So there's that.

[00:24:39] So tell me about shekels, asshole.

[00:24:42] So it's really just not that much that I learned,

[00:24:44] other than the fact that it was a form of payment

[00:24:48] back in the times when they wrote the Bible.

[00:24:50] Okay.

[00:24:50] And there was, they think, a standard weighted

[00:24:55] piece that was kept in a central location

[00:24:57] that they would use to gauge other shekels by.

[00:25:01] Now, the interesting thing is that

[00:25:04] that you can still get a shekel today.

[00:25:07] I thought I saw that somewhere just like,

[00:25:12] not because I was studying up on this,

[00:25:14] but I thought I saw something that was like blah, blah, blah,

[00:25:16] shekels and I was like, wait, what?

[00:25:18] Yeah.

[00:25:18] So like, there's still a thing in 1980.

[00:25:21] I think it was 1980.

[00:25:22] It's around that time if it's not exactly 1980,

[00:25:26] but Israel actually changed their payment type from the Lear

[00:25:31] or Lyra Lyra.

[00:25:33] Oh my God.

[00:25:33] You didn't know how to say Lyra.

[00:25:35] Sorry.

[00:25:36] I didn't know that they use Lyra.

[00:25:37] That's an Italian coin FYI.

[00:25:39] But they changed it from the Lyra to the shekel.

[00:25:41] That's interesting.

[00:25:42] You can still get a shekel today.

[00:25:44] That is also interesting.

[00:25:45] Yeah, I thought that was pretty cool.

[00:25:46] I wonder why Israel and Italy both use Lyra.

[00:25:50] I, you'll have to ask somebody else.

[00:25:53] You know what?

[00:25:55] You're dumb.

[00:25:55] But I also have an interesting little factoid about Lyra

[00:26:01] and Italian money in general, you know,

[00:26:04] back before they started using the Euro.

[00:26:08] The, what was I saying?

[00:26:10] The Lyra is coins and the paper Italian monies were mills.

[00:26:17] Like me, Le is how you would say it.

[00:26:19] But yet when you're doing transfer of money,

[00:26:25] they refer to it as Lyra, which I never understood.

[00:26:30] It would be like calling our money instead of calling it dollars.

[00:26:34] It would be like calling it change or quarters or nickels or pennies.

[00:26:39] Right.

[00:26:40] But the Lyra probably came first.

[00:26:42] And so like that was what everybody referred to.

[00:26:45] That's, it's probably the name that got attached

[00:26:47] to what their word for money is.

[00:26:49] Their exchange.

[00:26:50] Yeah.

[00:26:51] I just, I just found it interesting because I happened to know that Lyra is,

[00:26:57] is, you know, the coin.

[00:26:59] Right.

[00:26:59] Yeah.

[00:27:00] Got it.

[00:27:00] Okay.

[00:27:01] So let's take a break.

[00:27:02] And then when we come back, I'm going to just blow your mind

[00:27:05] with all this interesting factoid stuff.

[00:27:08] Okay.

[00:27:08] It's going to be cool.

[00:27:09] I can't wait to have my mind blown.

[00:27:11] Okay.

[00:27:18] Before I start this section,

[00:27:19] can I just ask you something real quick?

[00:27:21] No.

[00:27:22] Well, I'm going to.

[00:27:23] Just now you were counting down and instead of going three, two, one go,

[00:27:27] you went three, two.

[00:27:29] Why did you sing like that?

[00:27:31] Because I felt like, what's the whole point of this podcast?

[00:27:34] We're here to have fun and.

[00:27:35] It's just, I've never heard you do that.

[00:27:37] Why did you do that?

[00:27:38] That was so weird.

[00:27:39] Because I felt like it.

[00:27:41] Okay.

[00:27:41] Well, I'm just telling you it was weird.

[00:27:44] Yeah.

[00:27:44] Well, whatever, you know, just get on with this shit.

[00:27:47] Okay.

[00:27:48] So do you know what the word Exodus means?

[00:27:53] Exit this.

[00:27:56] No.

[00:27:56] No.

[00:27:56] Is that wrong?

[00:27:57] No, it's kind of that actually.

[00:27:59] Okay.

[00:27:59] So I should probably backtrack a little bit.

[00:28:02] But that was me going backwards.

[00:28:04] That was rewinding.

[00:28:05] They had his premium sound effects right there, folks.

[00:28:07] Yeah.

[00:28:08] Yeah.

[00:28:09] We paid nothing for that.

[00:28:11] Fuck you.

[00:28:14] So I got all of my information from either the Miriam Webster Dictionary or Wikipedia.

[00:28:22] And I did no further research beyond those two sites.

[00:28:25] Research sucks.

[00:28:27] Well, yeah, because this is just supposed to give us an overview and not

[00:28:32] actually a degree.

[00:28:34] Well, obviously we're not learning shit.

[00:28:37] Clearly.

[00:28:37] So it doesn't really matter.

[00:28:39] Okay.

[00:28:40] So according to Miriam Webster, the word Exodus is a mass departure or an emigration.

[00:28:48] Yeah.

[00:28:49] And the biblical book of Exodus describes the departure of the Israelites from Egypt.

[00:28:53] So it's no surprise that the word has come to refer more generally to any mass departure.

[00:28:59] Sure.

[00:29:01] One of the examples that they gave, well, they gave one example that was like historical,

[00:29:06] but I like to interpret it differently.

[00:29:09] The example I like to give is after every single mother fucking presidential election in the US,

[00:29:16] there seems to be threats of mass exodus to Canada.

[00:29:20] I mean, I've threatened that myself.

[00:29:22] Right.

[00:29:23] Right.

[00:29:23] Right.

[00:29:23] So I just thought that was funny.

[00:29:25] Yeah.

[00:29:26] Okay.

[00:29:26] The word itself was adopted into English via Latin from exodus, which literally means the road out.

[00:29:34] Got it.

[00:29:35] Isn't that interesting?

[00:29:36] It is interesting.

[00:29:37] Okay.

[00:29:37] So I'm going to tell you a little bit about the book of Exodus with regard to how it fits into the Torah,

[00:29:47] which is the Jewish religious stuff.

[00:29:51] Okay.

[00:29:51] Book.

[00:29:52] Book.

[00:29:53] Yeah.

[00:29:53] That word.

[00:29:53] That.

[00:29:54] Okay.

[00:29:54] Well, let me tell you about the Torah.

[00:29:57] The word Torah is Hebrew and it means instruction, teaching or law, and it has a range of meanings.

[00:30:04] It can most specifically mean the first five books of the Bible, which are the Pentateuch,

[00:30:09] or they're also called the Five Books of Moses.

[00:30:12] Okay.

[00:30:13] It's commonly known as the written Torah, but Torah can also mean the continued narrative

[00:30:19] from all the 24 books from the book of Genesis to the end, blah, blah, blah, blah,

[00:30:24] a bunch of other Bible stuff.

[00:30:26] Okay.

[00:30:27] Or it can mean like all of the Jewish rules altogether.

[00:30:31] So when you talk about Torah, like it's hard to know exactly what people are exactly referring

[00:30:37] to.

[00:30:37] So you have to like be a little bit more specific.

[00:30:39] Right.

[00:30:40] So I just thought that that was important to know given that we're talking about

[00:30:44] the book of Exodus, which is the second book of the Torah.

[00:30:49] And so it's like, but how do you mean though?

[00:30:53] But the way they mean it here is obviously the second book of the Old Testament or the first

[00:31:03] five books of the Old Testament.

[00:31:06] Got it.

[00:31:06] Okay.

[00:31:07] Sorry.

[00:31:07] Okay.

[00:31:08] Starting with the deliverance of Moses by Pharaoh's daughter, which we got that one right.

[00:31:13] Yep.

[00:31:13] It recounts the revelation at the burning bush.

[00:31:16] Remember that?

[00:31:17] Yeah.

[00:31:18] Where he was called by Yahweh.

[00:31:20] Yeah.

[00:31:21] To deliver the Israelites from Egyptian slavery after Pharaoh rejected his and Aaron's demands

[00:31:26] according to the book.

[00:31:27] I like that they add that according to the book, the almighty inflicted 10 plagues on Egypt

[00:31:33] resulting in the Exodus.

[00:31:35] We got that one right too.

[00:31:36] Yep.

[00:31:37] The Mosaic Covenant was made at the biblical Mount Sinai and subsequently the Tabernacle.

[00:31:45] Tabernacle.

[00:31:46] Yeah, that damn Tabernacle.

[00:31:48] Okay.

[00:31:48] So here's a little tidbit about Yahweh.

[00:31:52] Okay.

[00:31:53] He was, this just blew my mind.

[00:31:56] Okay.

[00:31:56] Ready?

[00:31:56] I'm ready.

[00:31:57] Okay.

[00:31:57] Lay it on me.

[00:31:58] Yahweh was the national god of the kingdoms of Israel, Samaria and Judah with origins

[00:32:07] reaching at least to the early Iron Age and apparently to the late Bronze Age.

[00:32:11] In the oldest biblical literature, he is a storm and warrior deity who leads

[00:32:17] the heavenly army against Israel's enemies.

[00:32:21] But listen to this.

[00:32:22] This is going to blow your mind.

[00:32:23] Ready?

[00:32:23] Explain why you let him in a storm cloud.

[00:32:25] Yeah, but this is going to blow your mind.

[00:32:27] Right.

[00:32:28] At that time, the Israelites worshiped him alongside a variety of Canaanite gods and goddesses.

[00:32:37] Yeah, including El Asherah and Baal.

[00:32:41] B-A-A-L.

[00:32:42] Have you heard of that?

[00:32:43] Yeah.

[00:32:43] Yeah.

[00:32:43] Yeah.

[00:32:44] But in later centuries, El and Yahweh became conflated and El linked epithets such as El Shaddai,

[00:32:53] other El blah blah, El blah blah, El blah blah, came to be applied to Yahweh alone.

[00:32:59] And other gods and goddesses such as Baal and Asherah were absorbed by the Yahwistic religion.

[00:33:06] So when they said he's the only God, you have to give up all the other ones,

[00:33:11] they really were talking about other gods because they really did believe that there were other gods.

[00:33:19] Interesting.

[00:33:20] So they weren't saying there is one God.

[00:33:23] So before the revolution of Christianity, there was a revolution of Judaism.

[00:33:28] Yes.

[00:33:29] Because it used to be more pagan but also included Yahweh.

[00:33:33] Yes.

[00:33:34] And so they weren't saying there is only one God.

[00:33:36] They were saying this God is the most awesome and you should worship him and stop worshiping the other gods which do exist.

[00:33:45] That's pretty interesting because it's literally in the Bible.

[00:33:49] Like we commented that throughout the Bible, throughout our readings here.

[00:33:52] And they literally comment vaguely to other gods.

[00:33:58] Yeah.

[00:33:58] And they allude to other gods.

[00:33:59] But the whole like if you talk to a Christian today,

[00:34:03] they will say no, no, no, no.

[00:34:04] No one God.

[00:34:05] There is just the one.

[00:34:05] There is only one God.

[00:34:06] There was never any other but the one.

[00:34:08] Right.

[00:34:08] And he, yeah, like there was nothing else that was it.

[00:34:11] And that is untrue.

[00:34:13] Isn't that just that literally blew my mind when I read that?

[00:34:16] I was like get the fuck out.

[00:34:18] That's pretty neat.

[00:34:19] Yeah.

[00:34:20] Exodus was traditionally ascribed to Moses himself.

[00:34:24] But modern scholars see its initial composition as a product of the Babylonian exile,

[00:34:30] which was in 6th century BCE.

[00:34:33] Based on earlier written and oral traditions with final revisions in the Persian post-exilic period,

[00:34:40] whatever that means.

[00:34:41] No clue.

[00:34:42] Okay.

[00:34:42] It's been suggested that it is arguably the most important book in the Bible,

[00:34:47] which doesn't even matter because we don't fucking remember half of it.

[00:34:52] No, we did remember half of it, just not the other half.

[00:34:55] Right.

[00:34:55] So we remembered half of it but then we didn't remember half of it.

[00:34:58] Right.

[00:34:59] Right.

[00:35:00] As it represents the defining features of Israel's identity.

[00:35:04] I have to say real quick, you can only take so much of how to build the ark before you start

[00:35:09] losing everything else in your goddamn brain.

[00:35:11] And the gowns.

[00:35:12] And the gowns.

[00:35:13] Right.

[00:35:13] I mean like I forgot all of that other stuff about Moses happened in that same book because

[00:35:19] half of it was about building and sewing and building and sewing.

[00:35:24] All of the importance that that book may have held got lost by the end of it.

[00:35:28] By the time we were done at the end of Exodus, I was so glad to be done.

[00:35:32] So it's like well maybe it was the most important book but...

[00:35:35] You could have left half of it off.

[00:35:37] Yeah, at least half.

[00:35:38] And then maybe we got a better test score.

[00:35:40] Yeah, exactly.

[00:35:42] Presents the defining features of Israel's identity.

[00:35:45] Memories of a past marked by hardship and escape.

[00:35:48] A binding covenant with God who chooses Israel and the establishment of the life of the

[00:35:54] community and the guidelines for sustaining it.

[00:35:57] So this is like the most important book of the Bible.

[00:36:02] And that is like for both Christianity, Judaism, as well as the Muslim tradition.

[00:36:11] Right.

[00:36:11] Because they all have their same roots in this.

[00:36:13] Yeah, yeah.

[00:36:14] The consensus among scholars is that the story in the book of Exodus is best understood

[00:36:19] as a myth and does not accurately describe historical events.

[00:36:23] Period.

[00:36:24] The end of that sentence.

[00:36:26] Gotcha.

[00:36:27] I included that because myth.

[00:36:30] Right, right.

[00:36:31] Okay, Mosaic authorship.

[00:36:34] This is so cool to me because like there was no...

[00:36:38] After we got done with Genesis, we didn't really ask.

[00:36:41] I wonder who wrote that because we kind of forgot to ask that.

[00:36:44] Okay.

[00:36:45] So it is the traditional belief that the Torah, the first five books of the Hebrew Bible

[00:36:52] slash Old Testament.

[00:36:53] So this includes Genesis were dictated to Moses by God.

[00:36:59] And the wonder is up there for 40, 40 hours, days, nights, whatever.

[00:37:03] Wait, does he remember it and then write it down later?

[00:37:05] Or is this what was on the first...

[00:37:09] I don't know.

[00:37:09] Is it on the backside of the stone tablet or something?

[00:37:11] The backside.

[00:37:12] So I don't know but well it was an oral tradition.

[00:37:16] So he wouldn't have written it at this time.

[00:37:18] He would have come down and told it and then it got passed down through...

[00:37:23] It's a lot of shit to remember.

[00:37:24] Yeah, well that's why there's so much repetition and that's why there's...

[00:37:29] He was probably up there for like a good 35 days just reciting how to build the fucking arc.

[00:37:32] Yes, no kidding.

[00:37:34] The books do not name any author as authorship was not considered important by the society

[00:37:39] that produced them.

[00:37:40] And it was only after Jews came into intense contact with author-centric

[00:37:45] Hellenistic culture, so the Greeks in the late Second Temple period that the rabbis began to

[00:37:52] find authors for their scriptures.

[00:37:54] The tradition that Moses was this author probably began with the law code

[00:37:59] of the book of Deuteronomy which I think is like the next one or...

[00:38:02] It's one of the first five.

[00:38:03] The Leviticus is next.

[00:38:04] Is it?

[00:38:04] Pretty sure.

[00:38:05] Oh yeah, yeah you're right, you're right.

[00:38:06] Okay well Deuteronomy and Numbers are four and five or five and four I don't remember.

[00:38:11] Got it.

[00:38:12] And was then gradually extended until Moses as the central character came to be regarded not

[00:38:17] just as the mediator of the law but as author of both laws and narratives.

[00:38:23] So they just decided that those first five books are Moses and that's why Moses is the guy that

[00:38:32] the Jewish tradition celebrates.

[00:38:34] Right, right.

[00:38:35] We're all about you know the New Testament and well I say we I'm not about any of it but...

[00:38:40] American society in general of this...

[00:38:42] American Christianity is all about the New Testament and Jesus and

[00:38:48] the Jewish are all about Moses.

[00:38:50] Right.

[00:38:51] So I just thought that was really really interesting.

[00:38:53] Yeah.

[00:38:54] By the first century AD it was already common practice to refer to the first five books

[00:39:00] as the quote law of Moses but the first unequivocal expression of the idea that

[00:39:06] this meant authorship appears in the Babylonian Talmud and you know what the Talmud is.

[00:39:12] Not offhand, no.

[00:39:13] That's the Jewish books.

[00:39:15] Oh okay.

[00:39:16] Yeah and encyclopedia of Jewish tradition and scholarship composed between 200 and 500 AD

[00:39:22] so like super early.

[00:39:24] Huh so like these were written at the same time that the Bible was written essentially.

[00:39:29] Yeah.

[00:39:31] That's interesting.

[00:39:32] Right.

[00:39:33] Yeah none of this came around until after the birth of Christ.

[00:39:37] It's not really the Old Testament other than the fact that it was a

[00:39:41] people passed down by word of mouth.

[00:39:43] Right the stories are old but they weren't actually recorded until well after

[00:39:47] the birth death and resurrection of Christ.

[00:39:50] That's pretty interesting actually.

[00:39:51] Right like I had no idea about any of this so this is kind of cool to learn.

[00:39:55] Yeah.

[00:39:55] There the rabbis noticed and addressed such issues as how Moses had received the

[00:40:00] divine revelation, how it was curated and transmitted to later generations

[00:40:06] and how difficult passages such as the last verses of Deuteronomy which we haven't read yet.

[00:40:11] Right.

[00:40:11] Which describe his death.

[00:40:12] Oh no Moses is going to die.

[00:40:14] What a spoiler.

[00:40:15] Geez.

[00:40:16] Aw.

[00:40:17] The hell.

[00:40:18] Word to be explained.

[00:40:19] This culminated in the 8th of Mayemnides 13 principles of faith establishing belief

[00:40:27] whatever blah blah blah.

[00:40:29] Mosaic authorship of the Torah was unquestioned by both Jews and Christians

[00:40:34] until the European Enlightenment.

[00:40:37] Wow.

[00:40:38] That's like what the 17 or 1800s?

[00:40:40] Something like that yeah.

[00:40:41] Yeah when the systemic study of the five books led the majority of scholars to conclude

[00:40:47] that they were not the product of many hands,

[00:40:50] oh I'm sorry that they are the product of many hands and many centuries.

[00:40:54] Wait wasn't the enlightenment like 14 15th centuries?

[00:40:57] No.

[00:40:59] No the European Enlightenment happened right before the American Enlightenment.

[00:41:05] And that was all during like when America was formed and stuff.

[00:41:09] Got it.

[00:41:09] So we're talking like the maybe it was the 16 and 1700s not the 17 and 1800s.

[00:41:16] Got it.

[00:41:16] I think it started in the 1600s because like yeah whatever it doesn't matter really.

[00:41:19] Right so we're talking the 1600s this shit was written down in like 500

[00:41:27] and then was not even determined to be oh yeah you know what that one Moses guy that we talk

[00:41:32] about all the time he probably didn't write that shit down.

[00:41:35] He probably wasn't like the author.

[00:41:37] Right.

[00:41:39] That's ridiculous that's fucking ridiculous humans are dumb we don't deserve this planet.

[00:41:44] God despite this the role of Moses is an article of faith in traditional

[00:41:49] Jewish circles and for some Christian evangelical scholars for whom it remains crucial to their

[00:41:56] understanding of the unity and authority of scripture.

[00:41:59] So they've decided even though we now know better like oh well we still love the guy he's the one

[00:42:05] right in Hebrew the book's title is names which I thought this was interesting it comes

[00:42:10] from the beginning words of the text these are the names of the sons of Israel.

[00:42:16] Got it.

[00:42:16] So that's cool yeah okay so here's a little summary are you interested at all.

[00:42:25] I don't know probably I think we should be because like we don't remember it at all.

[00:42:30] I don't remember it at all do you remember it at all.

[00:42:33] Exodus yeah okay so I'm just going to tell you okay Jacob's sons join their brother Joseph

[00:42:40] in Egypt with their families where their people begin to grow a number.

[00:42:44] 400 years later Egypt's new Pharaoh who does not remember how Joseph had saved Egypt from

[00:42:51] famine is fearful that the Israelites could become a fifth column that's how this all started.

[00:42:58] I don't recall that being in the fucking Bible right right that's why Pharaoh was like you guys

[00:43:04] needed GTFO he was worried about overpopulation yeah and a fifth column FYI is any group of

[00:43:11] people who undermine a larger group from within usually in favor of an enemy group or nation.

[00:43:16] So he was worried that these Israelites who are there were like becoming too overpopulated

[00:43:24] and were maybe going to try to overthrow him right and so by trying to squash them he created

[00:43:32] that which he most feared yeah but I don't recall that being in the Bible like I really don't so

[00:43:38] I thought that was really interesting to learn yeah so he forces them into slavery

[00:43:43] and orders the throwing of all newborn boys into the Nile so as to reduce the population.

[00:43:47] Wait it wasn't the Bible you remember they were talking about there's so many of them so

[00:43:51] we need to enslave them right it was kind of touched on a little bit but that was the over

[00:43:56] population but it wasn't like oh and I'm also worried that they're going to form a fifth column

[00:44:02] right like that was not really mentioned you know what I mean sure you are like squirmy wormy

[00:44:08] what is wrong with you this is a long episode it's a bonus baby I know I know definitely get into

[00:44:15] bonus okay we'll be still okay a Levite woman jokabed jokabed jokabed jokabed jokabed jokabed

[00:44:26] I don't know whatever um saves her baby by setting him adrift on the river Nile in an arc of bull

[00:44:32] rushes Pharaoh's daughter finds the child names as Moses and out of sympathy for the Hebrew boys

[00:44:38] brings him up as her own so here's a little bit about the Pharaoh's daughter okay the Pharaoh's

[00:44:44] daughter and the story of the finding of Moses in the biblical book of Exodus is an important albeit

[00:44:49] minor figure in Abrahamic religions and of course it's minor because she's a fucking girl

[00:44:56] and anybody with a vagina is relegated to the trash heap right though some variations

[00:45:01] of her story exist the general consensus among Jews Christians and Muslims is that she is the adoptive

[00:45:08] mother of the prophet Moses Muslims identify her with Asaya I'm sorry that I'm mispronouncing that

[00:45:16] the great royal wife of the Pharaoh in either version she saved Moses from certain death

[00:45:22] from both the Nile river and from the Pharaoh as she ensured the well-being of Moses throughout

[00:45:26] his early life she played an essential role in lifting the Hebrew slaves out of bondage in Egypt

[00:45:33] their journey to the promised land and the establishment of the 10 commandments so it's

[00:45:38] always a bitch gotta save the day Moses reunites with his brother Aaron and returning to Egypt

[00:45:44] conveys the Israelite elders preparing them to go into the wilderness to worship God in a spring

[00:45:50] festival Pharaoh refuses to release the Israelites from their work for the festival and so God

[00:45:55] curses the Egyptians with 10 terrible plagues scholars broadly agree that the exodus is not a

[00:46:02] historical account attempts to find natural explanations for the plagues have been dismissed

[00:46:07] by biblical scholars on the grounds that their pattern timing rapid succession and above all

[00:46:13] control by Moses marked them as supernatural right so here are the 10 in order just listed

[00:46:19] out because they were like so paragraph in story that we kind of forgot some of them

[00:46:25] right right one turning water to blood two frogs three lice or gnats yeah four wild animals or flies

[00:46:34] five pestilence six boils seven thunderstorm of hail and fire eight locus nine darkness for three

[00:46:44] days and ten death of firstborn nice it's a rough one remember that's what we talked about Passover

[00:46:50] and how it got tied into Easter which is New Testament yep yep Moses is commanded by God to

[00:46:56] fix the first month of Aviv at the head of the Hebrew calendar and it strikes the Israelites to

[00:47:01] take a lamb on the 10th day of the month sacrifice the lamb on the 14th day dub its blood on their

[00:47:07] poor door posts and lentils and to observe the Passover meal that night during the full moon

[00:47:13] because pagan the 10th plague then comes that night causing the death of all Egyptian

[00:47:18] firstborn sons and prompting Pharaoh to command a final pursuit of the Israelites through the red

[00:47:23] sea as they escape Egypt God assists the Israelite exodus by parting the sea and allowing the Israel

[00:47:29] lights to pass through before drowning Pharaoh's forces bomb bomb bomb as desert life proves

[00:47:36] arduous as desert life would the Israelites complain and long for Egypt because there are

[00:47:42] a bunch of whiny pussies but God miraculously provides manna for them to eat and water to drink

[00:47:48] the Israelites arrive at the mountain of God what mountain is it Sinai yes where Moses his

[00:47:54] father-in-law Jethro not Jethro told just Jethro visits Moses at his suggestion Moses appoints

[00:48:01] judges over Israel oh yeah I forgot about that he was the first guy that was like delegate

[00:48:06] bitch oh yeah yeah God asked whether they will agree to be his people and they accept they gather

[00:48:12] people at the foot of the mountain and with thunder and lightning fire and clouds of smoke

[00:48:16] sounds of trumpets and the trembling of the mountain dogs and cats living together mass hysteria

[00:48:22] okay that was a little bit from ghostbusters God appears on the peak and the people see the

[00:48:26] cloud and hear the voice or possibly sound of God God tells Moses to ascend the mountain

[00:48:31] God pronounces the Ten Commandments in the hearing of all Israel Moses goes up the mountain into the

[00:48:37] presence of God who pronounces the covenant code of ritual and civil law and promises came into them

[00:48:43] if they obey which they don't right because they are a bunch of disobedient little buttfucks yeah

[00:48:50] Moses comes down the mountain and writes down God's words and the people agree to keep them

[00:48:55] God calls Moses up the mountain again because he needs a pair of them Satan sneaks so fucking

[00:49:00] bad because this ain't his first trip up and down that mountain where he remains for 40 days and

[00:49:05] 40 nights at the conclusion of which he returns bearing the set of stone tablets but what happens

[00:49:10] to those babe I don't know do they fall asleep what why oh sorry that was me his first draft

[00:49:17] of the tablets what does he do with them uh he breaks them yeah why does he break them

[00:49:22] because he's so mad about the golden calf shit yeah God gives Moses instructions for the

[00:49:27] construction of the tabernacle which is the boringest part of everything ever yep so that

[00:49:32] God may dwell permanently among his chosen people permanently but is he still there though

[00:49:38] is he dwelling permanently in that tabernacle all right I would say it's tabernacle is so

[00:49:43] I couldn't say for sure I would say it's less than fucking permanent right along with

[00:49:47] instructions for the priestly vestments the altar and it's a perler that's a big word

[00:49:52] procedures for ordination of priests and the daily sacrificial offerings Aaron becomes the first

[00:49:59] hereditary high priest what what why God gives Moses the two tablets of stone containing the words

[00:50:05] of the Ten Commandments written with quote the finger of God yeah while Moses is with God

[00:50:11] Aaron casts a golden calf because why not which the people worship God informs Moses of their

[00:50:17] badness and threatens to kill them all but relents when Moses pleads for them sorry I spit on you I

[00:50:22] was so enthusiastic Moses comes down from the mountain smashes the stone tablets in anger and

[00:50:28] commands the Levites to massacre the unfaithful Israelites that's the part where he says

[00:50:34] y'all kill each other yeah and they're like mocker God commands Moses to construct two new

[00:50:40] tablets Moses ascends the mountain again with his satan slippers where God dictates the Ten

[00:50:45] Commandments for Moses to write on the tablets what it doesn't say is again right Moses descends

[00:50:52] from the mountain with a transformed face from that time onwards he must hide his face with a veil

[00:50:57] Moses assembles the Hebrews and repeats to them the commandments he has received from God

[00:51:01] which are to keep the Sabbath and to construct the tabernacle the Israelites do as they are

[00:51:06] commanded from that time God dwells in the tabernacle and orders the travels of the Hebrews

[00:51:13] the end oh there's more but it's boring yeah it's really boring oh that's rude I thought that was so

[00:51:22] interesting I mean I told you some great stuff just then and I summarized that whole fucking book

[00:51:28] that we just read so now you know what's going on and you could pass another quiz if you add to

[00:51:33] what you don't I don't think I could pass quiz are you serious yeah totally just why no why because

[00:51:45] is it too boring or you just don't care or both a little bit of both a bit of both a bit of both

[00:51:49] okay and uh and I didn't really have a large desire to hear the whole summary thing oh my

[00:51:58] you did this to me last time it was just that we got done reading the exodus and then

[00:52:04] and then there was exodus again and I was like oh it was exodus redux uh yeah okay but there was

[00:52:10] some interesting stuff in there honestly yeah no I was interested for a while maybe and then

[00:52:17] I lost interest and then you started squirming like a fucking three-year-old and then I started

[00:52:23] trying to fall asleep are you serious a little bit I hate you all right well I guess we'll see

[00:52:30] you guys next week where we will be less boring but more funny and we will be starting the book of

[00:52:38] which one Leviticus Leviticus I did a little bit of research on that and apparently it is mostly

[00:52:45] rules and laws oh that's not that sounds like no that sounds like lots of fun to me oh yeah

[00:52:52] yeah okay because we get to hear all these stupid ass rules that you gotta follow to be in God's

[00:52:56] grace or whatever and like fuck this shit I thought it was just the big 10 no apparently it's like a

[00:53:03] I don't know I don't know we're gonna find out okay but apparently it's like a bunch of laws and

[00:53:08] rules that's what Leviticus is I guess okay and there's this is there's some good stuff in here

[00:53:14] okay good stuff all right I mean you know good stuff for us to comment on not good stuff

[00:53:19] I was gonna say no all right all right all right anything else to add nope that's it dear god okay see you guys

[00:53:26] bye husband wife can I say the things now yes okay so you had a list of items that you wanted people

[00:53:40] to check out yeah definitely um make sure you check us out on twitter we are there under the handle

[00:53:46] sacreligious underscore D for these nuts yeah that's that's exactly where I had gone with that yep

[00:53:53] we also would love to get emails from you because we love hate mail fan mail the whole nine yards there

[00:53:59] that email address is sacreligiousdiscourseatgmail.com and we are now on youtube and if you are

[00:54:06] listening to us on youtube you're gonna be running a little bit behind what our schedule is for

[00:54:11] our podcast because you're going to be hearing stuff from two months before if you are caught

[00:54:15] up you're in the past you're in the past so you should join us on our podcasting apps that are

[00:54:22] available so like you can catch us on apple podcast google podcast spotify I'm on um cast box yeah

[00:54:30] my wife's special she's on cast box I like cast box and then on any of the things that you were on

[00:54:36] we always would love it if you would like and subscribe that helps us out so so much so yeah

[00:54:42] do those things do those things and we will see you guys next week sure sure we will it's on Thursdays

[00:54:49] yeah that okay bye