Genesis Chapters 10 - 11 Bible Study for Atheists

00:01 - Wife (Host)
Hey, guess what. 

00:02 - Husband (Host)
What. 

00:02 - Wife (Host)
We're not done with Noah yet. 

00:04 - Husband (Host)
We're not. 

00:05 - Wife (Host)
No. 

00:06 - Husband (Host)
I thought he died. 

00:08 - Wife (Host)
He did, but there's more stuff about him and his kiddos. 

00:12 - Husband (Host)
Oh, okay. 

00:13 - Wife (Host)
I think so we're doing. 

00:14 - Husband (Host)
So what are we on? 

00:15 - Wife (Host)
now Genesis 10 and 11. Okay, sound good. 

00:19 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, let's get some more, noah. 

00:21 - Wife (Host)
Yay, noah. 

00:22 - Husband (Host)
Yay, noah. 

00:24 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so you know how Noah's dead. 

00:26 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, yeah. 

00:27 - Wife (Host)
Okay. So, like every time I say Noah's dead, all I can think of is like in Top Gun, when they were like celebrating Chester's dead, chester's dead. Now we're like Noah's dead, but it's not celebration, I guess. 

00:40 - Husband (Host)
That's not what I was thinking, that is not appropriate. 

00:43 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so we're at Genesis 10 the descendants of the sons of Noah and I have to tell you, I read ahead and it's just a bunch of names and places, and so I'm gonna try to buzz through this as fast as possible to get to some funny bits, okay. 

00:56 - Husband (Host)
Bible and be boring. 

00:58 - Wife (Host)
I mean, okay, ready. This is the account of the families of Shem Ham and Japheth. You know, the guys that dragged a blanket over their naked father because they were so fucking embarrassed that they just couldn't even. 

01:12 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, okay, they're dumb. 

01:14 - Wife (Host)
The three sons of Noah and apparently there are ancestors. Many children were born to them after the great flood. The descendants of Japheth were Gomer, magog, medai, javon, tubal, mishesh and Taurus the descendants of Gomer. I just can't believe you're not gonna say something like Gomer Bail or Ashkenan like Azkaban, I thought we were trying to get through this. 

01:40
I know. Okay, I'm sorry, I'll keep going. Ashkenan, rifthath and Togerma. The descendants of Javon were Elijah, tarshish, ketim and Rodanem. Their descendants became the seafaring people that spread out to various lands, each identified by its own language, clan and national identity. 

02:01 - Husband (Host)
Probably smart, considering God just flooded the whoreth to be good at. You know seafaring stuff. 

02:05 - Wife (Host)
Right, like they were probably like, just in case. 

02:08 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

02:08 - Wife (Host)
The descendants of Ham were Kush, Miserang, Put and Kanan. Like put it there, put it down. The descendants of Kush were Siba, Havala, Saptah, Rama and Saptika. The descendants of Rama were Siba. And what? 

02:29 - Husband (Host)
That is not the name. 

02:31 - Wife (Host)
It is what is it? Okay. 

02:38 - Husband (Host)
Got it. 

02:39 - Wife (Host)
Kush was also the ancestor of Nimrod. 

02:43 - Husband (Host)
Nimrod, that's amazing. 

02:45 - Wife (Host)
Who was the first heroic warrior on earth? 

02:49 - Husband (Host)
So like I should just go up to hunters and be like you're such a Nimrod. 

02:53 - Wife (Host)
Right, like all this time, we thought it was like an insole and it's actually looked. Since he was the greatest hunter in the world, his name became proverbial. People would say this man is, like Nimrod, the greatest hunter in the world. 

03:06 - Husband (Host)
I'm totally gonna start calling people Nimrods. 

03:08 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, but like in a complimentary way. 

03:11 - Husband (Host)
Well, yes and no. 

03:14 - Wife (Host)
Hey, nimrod, yeah you, nimrod. He built his kingdom in the land of Babylonia, with the cities of Babylon, bam Bam, babylon, eric, akkad and Kalma. From there, he expanded his territory to Assyria, building the cities of Nineveh, rehobothir, kala and Rezin, the great city located between Nineveh and Kala. Misrim was the ancestor of the Luddites, anonites, lehabitite no Lehabites, this is hard Nefthite, pathracites, kasselites and the Kephthrites. 

04:01 - Husband (Host)
Robin Hood Menentites. 

04:03 - Wife (Host)
Am I right? 

04:04 - Husband (Host)
What the? 

04:04 - Wife (Host)
hell, the Philistines came, I've heard of the Philistines? 

04:09 - Husband (Host)
Of course the Philistines they came from, all those tites. 

04:11 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, canaan's oldest son was Sedan, the ancestor of the Sedanians. Of course, canaan was also the ancestor of the Hittites, jebusites, amorites, gurgashites, hivites, arcytes. 

04:28 - Husband (Host)
They were so unoriginal they'd all in in height Eight eight, eight, eight, eight eight. 

04:32 - Wife (Host)
Good night Ovidites, zemerites and hematites. Really sorry. 

04:41 - Husband (Host)
Holy shit Tite. 

04:45 - Wife (Host)
The Canaanite clans eventually spread out and the territory of Canaan extended from Sedan in the north, to Garar and Gaza in the south, and as far as Sedan, gomorrah, adma and Zeboim. 

05:02 - Husband (Host)
I knew at least three things in there Gaza, Sodom and Gomorrah. What? That doesn't mean shit to me, and I know where the Gaza Strip is. 

05:11 - Wife (Host)
Like, oh, on Zeboim, near Lasha. Like all I hear is like blah, blah, blah. Middle East. 

05:17 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

05:18 - Wife (Host)
I mean, is that even right? 

05:19 - Husband (Host)
That's yeah Okay. 

05:21 - Wife (Host)
Blah, blah, blah, ite Middle East, right, right. These were the descendants of Ham, identified by clan, language, territory and national identity. Okay, there's that Sons were also born to Shem, but probably no daughters, right? Because who? 

05:38 - Husband (Host)
are your women. Who needs women? 

05:40 - Wife (Host)
Women are garbage. Apparently, the older brother of J-Feth Shem was the ancestor to all the descendants of Iber. I don't know why. That's funny to me. The descendants of Shem were Elam, asher, arfaxad, ludd and Aram. The descendants of Aram were Uzz Uzz Uzz Uzz Hul, geethe and Mash, like the show Right. Arfaxad was the father of Sheila and Sheila was the father of Iber, another Iber. Iber had two sons. The first was named Peleg, which means Okay, maybe Peleg, I don't know. 

06:26 - Husband (Host)
Either way is funny. 

06:27 - Wife (Host)
Which means division, for during his lifetime, the people of the world were divided into different language groups. His brother's name was Joktan Joktan. Joktan was the ancestor of Elmdad Shalaf Hazarmaveth, jera Hedorim Uzzal Diklah Obel. Oh my gosh, this is so hard. 

06:55 - Husband (Host)
I just got to make a comment. All of a sudden they just suddenly had two languages. It just happened. More than two A lot of languages. 

07:04 - Wife (Host)
We're approaching the Tower of Babel and that's when there's so many languages. 

07:08 - Husband (Host)
I don't understand. They all came from the same freaking people. 

07:11 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, like two days ago. Only it's two billion years ago, apparently. I don't know. Time is nothing. Abamel, sheba, ophir, havala and Jabab. 

07:24 - Husband (Host)
We've probably lost like 90% of our audience by now. 

07:26 - Wife (Host)
I think I'm a job. 

07:27 - Husband (Host)
They're like blah blah, blah, blah blah. 

07:30 - Wife (Host)
I mean I'm lost. 

07:32 - Husband (Host)
And. 

07:33 - Wife (Host)
I'm the one reading it. 

07:34 - Husband (Host)
Yeah. 

07:35 - Wife (Host)
All these were the descendants of Jokhtun. The territory they occupied extended from Misha all the way to Sefar in the Eastern Mountains. These were the descendants of Shem, identified by clan, language, territory and national identity. I think I've already said this like a thousand times, but redundant much. 

07:56 - Husband (Host)
National identity. So they have nations now. Yeah, okay. 

07:59 - Wife (Host)
We went from a couple guys to cities, to nations, like no time flat right these are the clans that descended from Noah's sons, but not any daughters ever Arranged by nation according to their lines of descent. All the nations of the earth descended from these clans after the great flood. 

08:20 - Husband (Host)
I just that was like. Painful it was painful and it was like we need to make the world be filled quickly again. So let's just make it be filled quickly again, right, like there was no Character development, no Storyline, no plot no right thing and if you're gonna give me like all of these names and places. 

08:43 - Wife (Host)
I Think the reason I laugh and and screw these up so bad and just don't care is because there's no reason to care. 

08:52 - Husband (Host)
Right, they give you know there's nothing there's no context, right? 

08:55 - Wife (Host)
and I don't know it's so like pointless if I wrote a book this bad, it would never ever fly Well and occasionally they say something that I'm curious about, like Nimrod. 

09:08 - Husband (Host)
Like when they they expand on it. They're like he was the greatest hunter and blah blah, blah, blah blah and that's like that's it. 

09:14 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, like what there was this one obviously there was more to that story, but there's a hunter named Nimrod. The end right. 

09:22 - Husband (Host)
For some reason, now we think Nimrod is bad. 

09:25 - Wife (Host)
Bad thing, because you know. 

09:27 - Husband (Host)
Such a Nimrod. 

09:30 - Wife (Host)
And with Nimrod. That is the end of Genesis, chapter 10. 

09:33 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I hope the next portion has more story and less Bugatting me too. Okay, well, let's find out. 

09:48 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so now we have reached Genesis, chapter 11, the Tower of Babel. Do you know anything about the Tower of Babel? 

09:54 - Husband (Host)
Well, it's something I mean like I, like you, know Douglas Adams and he talks about the Babel fish. 

10:01 - Wife (Host)
So it's related in that it has to do with language and babbling right Is that like your entire soul. 

10:08 - Husband (Host)
Something about language and blah, blah, blah and oh my god. Yeah, I don't know. That's about all I know. 

10:14 - Wife (Host)
Okay, even I know a little bit more than that. 

10:16 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, okay, okay, ready, let's find out about it, let's find out. 

10:19 - Wife (Host)
Okay. At one time, all the people of the world spoke the same language and use the same words. As the people Migrated to the east, they found a plane in the land of Babylonia and settled there, they began saying to each other let's make bricks and harden them with fire. In this region, bricks were used instead of stone and tar was used for mortar. Then they said come, let's build a great city for ourselves with a tower that reaches into the sky. This will make us famous and keep us from being scattered all over the world. I mean, it did make them famous. 

10:52 - Husband (Host)
I guess so yeah, because we all know about the Tower of Babel, right Babylon, whatever. 

10:58 - Wife (Host)
Babylonia babbling Brooke. 

11:00 - Husband (Host)
Whatever? 

11:01 - Wife (Host)
okay. But the Lord came down to look at the city and the tower the people were building look, came down. He did. He came walking. Look, he said, the people are united and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them. Come, let's go down and confuse the people with different languages. What? 

11:22 - Husband (Host)
like every time people start getting the head, he's like nah, fuck that shit. No, I'm gonna go down there and fuck this shit up. 

11:29 - Wife (Host)
He's mean yeah, then they won't be able to understand each other. What the hell? That literally says that in the Bible. 

11:36 - Husband (Host)
That's so stupid. 

11:37 - Wife (Host)
He's so excited to fuck them up. 

11:39 - Husband (Host)
That is so no reason. 

11:42 - Wife (Host)
In that way, the Lord scattered them all over the world and they stopped building the city. This is why the city was called Babel, because that is where the Lord confused the people with different languages. In this way, he scattered them all over the world. 

11:56 - Husband (Host)
I don't, I don't like what is the purpose of confusing people to the point where they can't coordinate with each other and he on purpose wanted us to speak different languages and not be able to get shit done. 

12:10 - Wife (Host)
On Purpose, he fucked us up you know. 

12:12 - Husband (Host)
I think that this is more along the lines of that the people writing the Bible we're like. There's all these languages. How can we possibly Make this work for the Bible if they all speak different languages? God must have done this on purpose, cuz so? 

12:28 - Wife (Host)
They're saying God fucked us up, but what they're really saying is we're fucked up. Let's blame God right. But either way, I don't know, it's problematic. 

12:38 - Husband (Host)
It really is I just I don't like he. Every time something good happens, he comes down to screw it up. 

12:44 - Wife (Host)
And why would you on purpose choose that as the story to believe? That's what I don't get right and why? 

12:50 - Husband (Host)
Why would you I can't help but ask the question over again when a God screws so many like I mean? He made childbirth painful. He, on purpose, he made the land hard to you know, so and on purpose. 

13:07 - Wife (Host)
Yeah. 

13:08 - Husband (Host)
He killed the entire fucking planet on purpose on purpose, and now he doesn't want people communicating with each other on purpose. Yeah like that's just some bullshit. 

13:19 - Wife (Host)
I mean, they say, our God is a cruel God and I'm like he really is. Think about your choices, people. 

13:26 - Husband (Host)
Right, like, like, maybe, maybe hell's a better fun place, you know. 

13:31 - Wife (Host)
I don't know. I mean, maybe there's no babble down there, not that I believe in hell either. 

13:35 - Husband (Host)
But you know, I'm just saying like if I had to choose between the two, I'm not sure that I want to go hang out with God. He sounds like a dick. Yeah, yeah, Just saying. 

13:47 - Wife (Host)
So the next part is labeled the descendants of sham. Let us hope that there's not more begatting. 

13:55 - Husband (Host)
Right right. 

13:56 - Wife (Host)
This is the account of shams family. It's not a new chapter, so the continuation of the chapter got it. Two years after the great flood. Oh my god. All that happened in just two fucking years. 

14:08 - Husband (Host)
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did we just build cities and create nations and divide people? 

14:14 - Wife (Host)
in. No, actually I'm mistaken. We're doing a flashback again. 

14:19 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I was gonna say, because that can't possibly be no, you're right. 

14:22 - Wife (Host)
You're right, my bad, he, they did this thing, where they're like all these things happened all the way through Babel. And then they're like, okay, but flashback to two years after the flood, when shem was a mere babe at 100 and years old. 

14:36 - Husband (Host)
I kind of wonder what, like an editor's notes, would look like for the Bible. Like if you were pitching it as a story it would be bad. 

14:45 - Wife (Host)
Yeah right, there's no way this would pass. 

14:47 - Husband (Host)
That would be funny. 

14:49 - Wife (Host)
It would be funny, I would say about a. 

14:52 - Husband (Host)
Bible. I would like to see the editors know right, that would be amazing. 

14:56 - Wife (Host)
Good book. 

14:57 - Husband (Host)
Yeah. 

14:58 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so two years after the great flood, when shem was 100 years old, he became the father of our face and I have to tell you when I was just like, looking at this out of the corner of my eye, it looks like it looked to me. Like I said, axelrod, for a second, after the birth of our fix ad, shem lived another 500 motherfucking years. 

15:20 - Husband (Host)
No, it wasn't the last long, multi 100 year living person. 

15:24 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, yeah, that was some other generation. Some guy lied and his name was God. Shem lived another 500 years and had other sons and daughters. 

15:38 - Husband (Host)
Well, at least he had some daughters, yeah. 

15:41 - Wife (Host)
When our fix ad was oh, he was a real baby. 35 years old, he became the father of Sheila. After the birth of Sheila, our fix ad lived another 403 years and had other sons and daughters. 

15:54 - Husband (Host)
We're going back to some of the same names that was in that baguette and now they're digging into it slightly more, but not really not really. 

16:00 - Wife (Host)
So I keep saying we're just re-girditating the same bullshit, repetitive bullshit Okay when Sheila was 30 years old, he became the father of Eber. After the birth of Eber, sheila lived another 403 years and had other sons and daughters. When Eber was 34 years old, he became the father of Peleg, or Peleg. 

16:20 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

16:20 - Wife (Host)
I'm going to call this person Peleg. 

16:22 - Husband (Host)
I like Peleg. 

16:23 - Wife (Host)
It's funnier, yeah, and it doesn't matter, because after the birth of Peleg, eber lived another 430 years and had other sons and daughters. When Peleg was 30 years old, he became the father of Wee what R-E-U Wee Wee. After the birth of me, pee leg lived another 209 years and had other sons and daughters when Father of See rug. 

16:53 - Husband (Host)
I'm just curious, like when did the shorten lifespans happen? Like I'm totally lost. 

16:57 - Wife (Host)
I don't even remember at this point like we're 11 chapters into the first part of the book. 

17:02 - Husband (Host)
I thought he did this before he killed off all the humans. 

17:04 - Wife (Host)
I'm pretty sure you are correct. 

17:06 - Husband (Host)
Okay. 

17:07 - Wife (Host)
It's like do over. 

17:08 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, and now they're living a long time, a long time again. 

17:11 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, in spite of the fact that he fucked them all up and spread them out with different languages. 

17:16
Yeah, After the birth of see rug, 207 years, and had other sons and daughters. When see rug was 30 years old, he became the father of Nahor. After the birth of Nahor, see rug lived another 200 years and had other sons and daughters. When Nahor was 29 years old, he became the father of Tara. After the birth of Tara, nahor lived another 119 years and had other sons and daughters. After Tara was 70 years old, he became the father of Abram, nora and Haram. 

17:51 - Husband (Host)
Here I'm. I wonder, if not. 

17:52 - Wife (Host)
Haram Haran. Oh, haran, yeah, yeah okay, okay, still in the same chapter, but now we're in a bit that's Subtitled the descendants of Tara. Okay because it matters. This is the account of Tara, tara's family. Sorry, this is the account of Tara's family. Tara was the father of Abram, nahor and Haran. Haran was the father of lot. Oh, I know that guy. 

18:19
I've heard a lot lot did something sure but Haran died and year of the Chaldeans, the land of his birth, while his father, tara, was still living. Like do you even care? Like I don't care, I don't know any of these people, right, like I can't even remember. Wait, who's alive, who's dying? Who's doing? 

18:37 - Husband (Host)
what it's all in such a weird order? 

18:38 - Wife (Host)
I know Meanwhile Abram and Nahor both married. That's nice. Yeah the name of Abram's wife was Sarai, and the name of Nahor's wife was Milka. Milka and her sister Iska were daughters of Nahor's brother, haran. These all sound like they're cousins of each other right. But Sarai was unable to become pregnant and had no children. That's sad for her. If she, if she wanted children right, she didn't want children, then it's gay, because I know plenty of people today that don't want Back then. 

19:10 - Husband (Host)
they seem to like a lot. They seem to want like 500 babies, although I don't know that was the women's choice. 

19:15 - Wife (Host)
That's true. I mean the men wanted them but, maybe the women, I don't, I don't know, I can't speak for one back then. 

19:22 - Husband (Host)
We can't speak for men back then either. 

19:23 - Wife (Host)
Technically, you know, honestly, I can't even speak for women today, because I just don't get. 

19:30 - Husband (Host)
Truthfully, none of them were probably real either. 

19:32 - Wife (Host)
I mean, some of them might have been maybe I don't know. One day Tara took his son Abram, his daughter, and lost Sarai, his son Abram's wife, and His grandson Lot, his son Haran's child, and moved away from your of the Chaldeans. He was headed for the land of Canaan, but they stopped at Haran and lived there. Tara lived for 205 years and dialed while still inherent the end. 

19:59 - Husband (Host)
Does not say the end it doesn't. 

20:01 - Wife (Host)
But that's the end of the chapter and it just might as well, because it's like and that's all we got right chapter. 

20:07 - Husband (Host)
Well, we did all that begatting and then we went on to like dig in deeper into the begatting and then it's like, only, it wasn't really like digging in, it was like and this person lived to this amount of time and they had this many kids and they were these people, and blah, blah, blah, blah. 

20:21 - Wife (Host)
I thought there was gonna be more about the Tower of Babel. 

20:24 - Husband (Host)
honestly, I really want some stories. When did the story start, you think? 

20:27 - Wife (Host)
I don't know, maybe next chapter maybe next chapter. 

20:31 - Husband (Host)
Well, stay tuned and find out. We'll make fun of it all the way, cuz this shit is great. 

20:38 - Wife (Host)
I know I'm excited. 

20:39 - Husband (Host)
Definitely see you next time, everybody. 

20:50 - Wife (Host)
Husband. 

20:54 - Husband (Host)
Yes wife. 

20:55 - Wife (Host)
Um, is there a way for people to contact us? 

20:58 - Husband (Host)
Well, sure, they can get on our Twitter account. 

21:01 - Wife (Host)
We have a Twitter account. 

21:02 - Husband (Host)
We do. 

21:03 - Wife (Host)
What is? 

21:04 - Husband (Host)
it. It is sacrilegious. 

21:05 - Wife (Host)
Underscore D Like D for discourse. 

21:09 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, they wouldn't let me put the whole thing, so I had to shorten it to underscore D. I hate them. Yeah, that's disgusting. 

21:18 - Wife (Host)
How do you spell sacrilegious? Do you know? 

21:19 - Husband (Host)
I don't want to just look it up in a dictionary or something. I don't want to do that right now. 

21:25 - Wife (Host)
You know why. 

21:25 - Husband (Host)
Sacrilegious underscore D K. 

21:27 - Wife (Host)
Because you messed it up and I made you fix it. That's why, yeah, yeah, what about an email? 

21:32 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, we got that too. What is it? Sacrilegiousdiscourseatgmailcom. 

21:38 - Wife (Host)
Oh well, that's easy. Yeah, as long as you know how to spell sacrilegious. 

21:42 - Husband (Host)
Right, well, definitely get ahold of us, let us know what you thought of the episode and any comments. Hate mail we love that kind of stuff. 

21:50 - Wife (Host)
Also, you could answer some questions that we leave throughout, or correct my pronunciation. 

21:55 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, please, Because they're probably bad, wrong and horrible Because we suck sometimes. 

21:59 - Wife (Host)
Absolutely. 

22:01 - Husband (Host)
Oh, also, if you like this shit or whatnot, give us a like on your podcasting app and stuff, or even leave a comment or something. 

22:09 - Wife (Host)
That would be awesome, that would be awesome. Goodbye.