Genesis Chapters 4 - 7 Bible Study for Atheists

00:00 - Wife (Host)
Husband. 

00:01 - Husband (Host)
Yes wife. 

00:02 - Wife (Host)
Are you ready to read more Bible? 

00:04 - Husband (Host)
Of course it was so exciting last time. 

00:07 - Wife (Host)
Well, I enjoyed talking to you. Well yeah, and that's fun. 

00:10 - Husband (Host)
Yes, it was. 

00:11 - Wife (Host)
Okay, let's do it. 

00:12 - Husband (Host)
What are we doing today? 

00:13 - Wife (Host)
We are doing Genesis um chapters four through seven. 

00:17 - Husband (Host)
Okay, let's get on with it. 

00:18 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so okay. Chapter four Is Cain and able. But I have to tell you something. 

00:52 - Husband (Host)
I know this story. 

00:53 - Wife (Host)
But even before that, I have to tell you something. Okay, so remember when I told you that translations matter and you were like whatever. 

01:02 - Husband (Host)
Yeah. 

01:03 - Wife (Host)
So we are actually reaching the part where translation matters, because we're going to get to the begets. 

01:14 - Husband (Host)
I get the that's dumb. 

01:18 - Wife (Host)
That is not proper use of the word beget, but I will allow it. 

01:22 - Husband (Host)
How soon is the begetting? 

01:23 - Wife (Host)
It's actually in chapter five, so we're not quite there yet, but I just wanted to be up front and prepare you because you were like that's boring. 

01:30 - Husband (Host)
Well yeah, big big, big, big big, yes. 

01:32 - Wife (Host)
But again, here's where translation matters, this particular translation that NLT does not say beget, so I just thought I'd put that out there. 

01:45 - Husband (Host)
Okay. 

01:46 - Wife (Host)
Because I didn't know until I slightly read ahead a little bit and I was like, wait a minute, all these people having all these sons and whatnot, and I don't see the word beget yet I thought the big getting was in Leviticus. Yeah, so did I. This is why we're reading the Bible. Okay, Okay ready. 

02:04 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, sure. 

02:04 - Wife (Host)
Okay, chapter four, canaan, april. Now Adam had sexual relations with his wife, yeah Founce. Wow, they did the dirty with his wife Eve. 

02:17 - Husband (Host)
Did they actually say sexual relations? 

02:19 - Wife (Host)
This translation does say now Adam had sexual relations with his wife Eve. 

02:24 - Husband (Host)
Interesting. 

02:25 - Wife (Host)
And she became preggers. 

02:27 - Husband (Host)
Does not say preggers it doesn't? 

02:28 - Wife (Host)
it says pregnant Okay, but I like preggers better. 

02:31 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

02:32 - Wife (Host)
Or pregnoid. 

02:33 - Husband (Host)
Pregnoid. 

02:33 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, Eve became pregnoid. When she gave birth to Cain she said with the Lord's help, I have produced a man, Cause you know, she couldn't have done it by herself. 

02:43 - Husband (Host)
Right? Did the Lord actually help? I mean according to Eve, but it seems like Like the third wheel in the room or something. 

02:51 - Wife (Host)
It seems like Adam did the heavy lifting. 

02:53 - Husband (Host)
I mean you would think, yeah, I don't know. 

02:55 - Wife (Host)
Right Kind of nasty. Yeah, I mean no judgment. Some people like that. 

02:59 - Husband (Host)
I mean I guess God did create them, so that's helping. 

03:02 - Wife (Host)
I don't know, couldn't have had kids? 

03:04 - Husband (Host)
without making themselves. 

03:06 - Wife (Host)
Okay. Later she gave birth to his brother and named him Abel. 

03:11 - Husband (Host)
How much later? 

03:12 - Wife (Host)
It didn't say Just later. Later. 

03:14 - Husband (Host)
Just later. 

03:15 - Wife (Host)
So she was. When they grew up, abel became a shepherd. 

03:18 - Husband (Host)
That was quick. 

03:19 - Wife (Host)
While Cain cultivated the ground. 

03:22 - Husband (Host)
He got the boring Wait. 

03:24 - Wife (Host)
No, they're both boring. 

03:25 - Husband (Host)
Right. But I mean God was like. You know you will work hard to toil from the earth and blah, blah, blah, but the other guy got to be the shepherd. 

03:33 - Wife (Host)
So that's true. So one is toiling while the others do him with the livestock Right. 

03:38 - Husband (Host)
It sounds like BS, like one of them was a favorite kid. 

03:40 - Wife (Host)
So no wonder Cain rose up. 

03:42 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

03:44 - Wife (Host)
When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. Abel also brought a gift. 

03:50 - Husband (Host)
See, I told you God was a vegan. He wants his salads. 

03:54 - Wife (Host)
The best portion of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. 

04:04 - Husband (Host)
Oh. 

04:05 - Wife (Host)
I don't know why this made Cain very angry and he looked dejected. I would be dejected too, right. 

04:14 - Husband (Host)
Except does he get like dude. I'm giving you something you won't even take it. 

04:17 - Wife (Host)
Maybe it was rotted Like. Maybe he's like here's some fucking potatoes. I guess, Look, I'm just going to tell you, as somebody came up to me and was like here, have some potatoes and cucumbers from my garden, I'll be like aw thanks. 

04:35 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

04:36 - Wife (Host)
Even if they were shriveled and nasty, to me it's the thought that counts and I'll be like they had extra and that was so nice. 

04:43 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, and the theory, just based on the things that I have heard, that God has kind of an asshole. 

04:47 - Wife (Host)
I mean, it seems that way. Let's read on. Okay, why are you so angry? The Lord asked Cain. Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you do what is right, but if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out, watch out Vague much. Vague. Much Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you, but you must subdue it and be its master. This sounds like victim blaming. So, basically, god punched him in the feelings and then was like why are you crying, brah? 

05:18 - Husband (Host)
Right yeah. 

05:20 - Wife (Host)
One day Cain suggested to his brother ah, let's go out into the fields. And while they were in the field, cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. 

05:29 - Husband (Host)
That was, that escalated quickly. Yeah, Like what, Like there was that was just just walked out in the field and killed him. Huh. 

05:38 - Wife (Host)
And also misplaced anger, like, according to what I'm reading, it's not Abel's fault that God's a dick. 

05:44 - Husband (Host)
Right. So his mom bit into the fruit of knowledge and then he just walks out in the field and kills his brother. 

05:50 - Wife (Host)
Yeah. 

05:51 - Husband (Host)
Okay. 

05:51 - Wife (Host)
Right, this story is so convoluted. I mean like where's the like? 

05:56 - Husband (Host)
there's, no, no. There's no story arc here. No, no, Okay. 

05:59 - Wife (Host)
It's just, and then that happened. 

06:01 - Husband (Host)
Right, and then that happened yeah. 

06:02 - Wife (Host)
There's no cause and effect really. Right. After the Lord asked Cain, where is your brother, where is Abel? 

06:10 - Husband (Host)
Because, again, he can't keep track of the four human beings that are on his planet. 

06:14 - Wife (Host)
I think he knew, otherwise why would he ask? 

06:17 - Husband (Host)
But but why? Why should he ask, why doesn't he just say it? Why, like, he doesn't tell people what the sins are? He doesn't tell people you know that they're actually not going to die if they eat the fruit, but it's going to cause a problem and then they're going to get. Like he doesn't tell people anything. You have to figure it out and then, if you don't figure it out the way he wants you to, he's like fuck you, I'm going to punish you because you're you're dumb and you didn't do things the way I wanted you to do it. 

06:41 - Wife (Host)
I mean that tracks yeah, uh, cain responded. 

06:47 - Husband (Host)
Did he say uh? He said I don't know, but I like uh Paraphrasing here, yeah, yeah definitely, I don't know. 

06:55 - Wife (Host)
Cain responded Am I my brother's guardian Smartass? But the Lord said what have you done? We've been here before. Listen, your brother's blood cries out to me from the ground. See, I told you he already knew. Now you are cursed and banished from the ground which has swallowed your brother's blood. No longer will the ground yield good crops for you, no matter how hard you work. From now on you will be a homeless wanderer on the earth. That seems, I don't know, a bit extreme it does. Like there's no um. What's that thing called Rehabilitation? 

07:35 - Husband (Host)
Right, yeah. 

07:36 - Wife (Host)
Like just no, fuck you you're done. 

07:38 - Husband (Host)
I mean, these are your first four humans and one of them fucked up because you didn't give clear instructions. 

07:44 - Wife (Host)
And you're like you're done bro. 

07:46 - Husband (Host)
You're done. 

07:46 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, this leader sucks. 

07:49 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

07:51 - Wife (Host)
Cain replied. Replied. Cain replied to the Lord my punishment is too great for me to bear. You have banished me from the land and from your presence. You have made me a homeless wanderer. Anyone who finds me will kill me. Anyone. 

08:05 - Husband (Host)
Who are these? Anyone's? 

08:06 - Wife (Host)
Anyone. I didn't know there were other peeps Right. 

08:09 - Husband (Host)
That's it. They're the first two people other than their parents on earth, far as I knew. 

08:15 - Wife (Host)
This is very confusing. 

08:16 - Husband (Host)
It is very confusing. 

08:18 - Wife (Host)
The Lord replied no, for I will give a sevenfold punishment to anyone who kills you. Then the Lord put a mark on Cain to warn anyone who might try to kill him. So I wonder if Cain is still alive today. 

08:32 - Husband (Host)
So the mark is to warn people to not kill him. 

08:35 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, I wonder if it is clear. Instruction don't kill this boy. 

08:40 - Husband (Host)
Right, yeah, I mean we are watching the show Lucifer and. 

08:45 - Wife (Host)
The mark of Cain. 

08:46 - Husband (Host)
And there's Cain's in there. He's still alive. 

08:48 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, so this is very interesting stuff. 

08:51 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

08:52 - Wife (Host)
So Cain left the Lord's presence and settled in the land of Nod east of Eden. Cain had sexual relations with his wife. 

09:02 - Husband (Host)
Wait, his wife. Who the hell was his wife? 

09:05 - Wife (Host)
And she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch, but where? 

09:09 - Husband (Host)
Where did his wife come from? 

09:11 - Wife (Host)
I don't know, this is so confusing. 

09:13 - Husband (Host)
Maybe it was just like three seconds ago they were born. Right. And now he's banished and having sex with his wife and having a kid named Enoch. 

09:22 - Wife (Host)
Hear me out. So you know how. In the Bible man's are like all the shit and while man's are just nothing. 

09:28 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

09:29 - Wife (Host)
So maybe Eve had a bunch of daughters that were not mentioned, and so maybe Cain took a sister with him and married her ass. 

09:36 - Husband (Host)
Right, but that's a stretch. They don't, you know, they're not telling us this shit. 

09:39 - Wife (Host)
Look there's no other people. I can only assume that Eve had more children than what is mentioned in the record. 

09:48 - Husband (Host)
For all we know, there's other gods on the planet at this point and they created other people. And when he got banished, he was like oh look, there's other people. I'm gonna take this one as my wife, because I got banished from my god. I'm gonna go over this god. 

10:01 - Wife (Host)
I don't know how I feel about that, considering I don't believe in any of the gods. 

10:05 - Husband (Host)
Well, I'm just saying like you know, it's as believable as this God. 

10:09 - Ad (Ad)
You know what I'm saying? 

10:09 - Husband (Host)
Okay, there's all these other religions. Why couldn't it just be another God, Like they don't tell us? So maybe maybe the Bible's telling us that these other religions are legit. They just don't want to tell us they're legit. 

10:22 - Wife (Host)
Okay. 

10:24 - Husband (Host)
Um. 

10:24 - Wife (Host)
I am going to go with my theory that he married his sister. I'm thinking that's probably more reasonable, because it's hard enough to believe in one God, much less many. 

10:33 - Husband (Host)
It's sick and also it means that there were a lot of incest when we were in our early years. 

10:38 - Wife (Host)
It means that we're all inbred motherfuckers. 

10:40 - Husband (Host)
Basically yeah. 

10:41 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, Okay. So um Kane had sexual relations with his mystery wife and she became pregnant and gave birth to Enoch. Then Kane founded a city. 

10:53 - Husband (Host)
Jesus Christ, there's enough people for a city, holy shit, and we're taking leaps and bounds here. 

10:59 - Wife (Host)
Where did all these people come from which he named? Oh then, kane founded a city which he named Enoch after his son. Enoch had a son named Irad or Erod. 

11:10 - Husband (Host)
Now we're in the next generation already. 

11:12 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, Okay, here we go this is the big. 

11:15 - Husband (Host)
getting this is the big getting. 

11:17 - Wife (Host)
Erod became the father of Mehoo Jail. Mehoo Jail became the father of Methuselale. Methuselale became the father of Lamik. Lamik married two women. Two women, holy shit. 

11:29 - Husband (Host)
Man. 

11:30 - Wife (Host)
The first was named Adah and the second was Zilla. Adah gave birth to Jbal Jabal, who was the first of those who raised livestock and live in tents. I know he was not the first to raise livestock because Abel was that's right. 

11:45 - Husband (Host)
He was saying that right. 

11:47 - Wife (Host)
Like that was the whole point of the fight. 

11:48 - Husband (Host)
But he was the first to raise livestock and live in tents. 

11:53 - Wife (Host)
Oh, okay, I guess I don't know. This whole thing's a mess. Yeah, his brother's name was Jubal, the first of all who play the harp and flute. 

12:04 - Husband (Host)
That's interesting. Wait, that means that they've invented harps and flutes now. 

12:08 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, we have progressed quite a ways. 

12:09 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

12:11 - Wife (Host)
So Lamik's other wife, zilla, gave birth to a son named Tubal Kain. He became an expert in forging tools of bronze and iron. 

12:21 - Husband (Host)
You know, being that these are some of the first human beings on the planet, you would think that'd be a lot more like storyline here. 

12:27 - Wife (Host)
I would think, I would think too, I am. 

12:29 - Husband (Host)
Especially since they're inventing all this crap Like they invented harps and all this. I mean they invented a lot of things. 

12:35 - Wife (Host)
There is no character creation here. I don't like this book. 

12:41 - Husband (Host)
I don't either. They're just like they're skipping, they're skipping, yeah, they're like, and then lots of people lots of people had sex, yeah, and then now we're here. 

12:50 - Wife (Host)
Too much exposition. 

12:52 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

12:53 - Wife (Host)
Tubal Kain had a sister named Neyama. One day Lamik said to his wives, Adah and Zilla hear my voice, Listen to me, you, wives of Lamik. I have killed a man who attacked me, a young man who wounded me. If someone who kills Kain is punished seven times, then the one who kills me will be punished 77 times. 

13:15 - Husband (Host)
What. 

13:15 - Wife (Host)
What he just decided, that of his own accord. 

13:18 - Husband (Host)
Right, that wasn't even God saying it. 

13:20 - Wife (Host)
He's, just like my great-great-grandpa, still walking. The earth isn't allowed to die. Therefore, therefore, I'm not allowed to die either. Nyan, nyan, nyan. 

13:31 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

13:32 - Wife (Host)
And he's like bragging about it to his wives and they're probably like K 77 times huh. Yeah, oh. 

13:38 - Husband (Host)
Okay. 

13:39 - Wife (Host)
Okay, we're going back to Adam now. 

13:40 - Husband (Host)
Okay. 

13:42 - Wife (Host)
Adam had sexual relations with his wife again. 

13:45 - Husband (Host)
But wait, we're like how many generations in now? This has got to be like hundreds of years down the road. Oh, yeah, yeah. 

13:49 - Wife (Host)
He lived a really long time. I don't know if you're aware. 

13:51 - Husband (Host)
Okay, okay, hundreds of years Got it. 

13:56 - Wife (Host)
And she gave birth to another son. She named him Seth, for she said, god has granted me another son in place of Abel, whom Kain killed. Because that's how that works you lose a son and you just replace him with a new rainbow baby. 

14:08 - Husband (Host)
Hundreds of years later. Yeah, hundreds of years later. 

14:11 - Wife (Host)
Right when Seth grew up, he had a son and named him Enosh. At that time, people first began to worship the Lord by name and by people. Again, I don't know where all these folks came from. 

14:23 - Husband (Host)
Well, apparently they just materialized somewhere. 

14:26 - Wife (Host)
I'm not really sure Like a teleporter. 

14:28 - Husband (Host)
Because, like, there was a city within the second generation. 

14:31 - Wife (Host)
What if they're like aliens? What? 

14:34 - Husband (Host)
if, and according to the Bible, the only offspring that Adam and Eve had were two men. 

14:41 - Wife (Host)
And then a third man, and then a third man, right? So? 

14:45 - Husband (Host)
So, what. 

14:47 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, I don't get this at all. 

14:50 - Husband (Host)
Yeah. 

14:50 - Wife (Host)
Okay, Chapter five the descendants of Adam. This is the written account of the descendants of Adam when God created human beings. 

14:58 - Husband (Host)
Wait, did you start on chapter five? 

15:00 - Wife (Host)
No, that was chapter four. Now I'm on chapter five. 

15:02 - Husband (Host)
Right and I'm on chapter five. 

15:03 - Wife (Host)
I'm on chapter five. Oh, I forgot Nothing. We'll be right back. Bye. 

15:08 - Husband (Host)
We'll be right back. 

15:18 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so can I start chapter 5 now. Go for it. 

15:21
Okay, sorry, I'm not very professional. Chapter 5, the Descendants of Adam. This is the written account of the Descendants of Adam. When God created human beings, he made them to be like Himself. He created them male and female, and he blessed them and called them human. When Adam was 130 years old, he became the father of a son who was just like Him, in His very image. He named his son Seth. After the birth of Seth, adam lived another 800 years, oh my God, and he had other sons and daughters. 

15:52 - Husband (Host)
Wow, adam lived Just other. We're not going to cover them, other people, they're just others, the others. Yeah. 

16:00 - Wife (Host)
Adam lived 930 years and then he died. I wonder how good his brain was. 

16:05 - Husband (Host)
I spent good medical care back then. 

16:08 - Wife (Host)
Better than what we've got today clearly God-lasic. Okay, so I think we're getting into the real begets now. Okay, so I'm going to just try to flash through these as quickly as possible. 

16:23 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I'm going to time you oh my God Ready. I'm ready. 

16:28 - Wife (Host)
When Seth was 105 years old, he became the father of Enosh. After the birth of Enosh, seth lived another 807 years, and he had other sons and daughters. Seth lived 912 years, and then he died. When Enosh was 90 years old, he became the father of Keenan After the birth of Keenan, enosh lived another 815 years, and he had other sons and daughters. Enosh lived 900 at 5 years, and then he died. When Keenon was 70 years old, he became the father of Mah等一下er agt. After the birth of Mah врем Sun, he was 780 years old, and so he died. Killing businesses is 40 years. Keenan lived another 840 years and then he died 65. When Mah, after the birth of Mahalala, kenan lived another 840 years, and he had other sons and daughters. Kenan lived 910 years, and then he died. When Mahalala was 65 years old, he became the father of Jared. After the birth of Jared, mahalala lived another 830 years, and he had other sons and daughters when Mahalala lived 895 years and then he died. When Jared was 162 years old, he became the father of Enoch. After the birth of Enoch, jared lived another 800 years. He had other sons and daughters. Jared lived 962 years, and then he died. 

17:27
When Enoch was 65 years old, he became the father of Methuselah. After the birth of Methuselah, enoch lived in close fellowship with God for another 300 years, and he had other sons and daughters. Enoch lived 365 years walking in close fellowship with God. Then one day he disappeared because God took him. When Methuselah was 187 years old, he became the father of Lamech. After the birth of Lamech, methuselah lived another 782 years and he had other sons and daughters. Methuselah lived 969 years and then he died. When Lamech was 182 years old, he became the father of a son. Lamech named his son Noah For, he said, may he bring us relief from our work and the painful labor of farming this ground that the Lord has caused. After the birth of Noah, lamech lived another 999, I'm sorry, 595 years, and he had other sons and daughters. Lamech lived 777 years, and then he died. After Noah was 500 years old, he became the father of Shem, ham and Japheth. 

18:28 - Husband (Host)
Holy cow. 

18:29 - Wife (Host)
That's the end of chapter 5. 

18:31 - Husband (Host)
That is a lot of exact dates and how long they lived exactly, and they lived a really long time. 

18:38 - Wife (Host)
And not a lot of character development, which is why I just tried to flash through it as quickly as possible. 

18:42 - Husband (Host)
Like zero character development. Right, that was what is-. 

18:46 - Wife (Host)
What even happened? Why the fuck did I just read? 

18:52 - Husband (Host)
You think they'll make it clear. 

18:54 - Wife (Host)
Probably not Shit, but at least we've reached Noah. 

18:57 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I want Noah. At least we know that story. 

19:00 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, kind of. 

19:01 - Husband (Host)
I mean you know most people do, I do. 

19:03 - Wife (Host)
I know. I mean kind of I think I know it, I don't know. 

19:05 - Husband (Host)
Shit flooded right. 

19:06 - Wife (Host)
I mean, I think there was a flood and then he built an ark and animals, but not the unicorns, fucking unicorns. 

19:13 - Husband (Host)
Okay, all right. 

19:23 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so chapter six Wickedness of mankind. Glad we got through all those begats Right, Chapter six the wickedness of mankind. Then the people began to multiply on the earth and daughters were born to them. 

19:39 - Husband (Host)
It's like they're just like one, two, three go. Here is a lot of freaking people. 

19:44 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, that's basically the way it goes. 

19:46 - Husband (Host)
Like that's like the whole point of the last, like couple of chapters. 

19:49 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, they fuck like bunnies. Yeah, the sons of God saw the beautiful women and took any they wanted as their wives. Took, took, took. They took them as their wives. 

20:01 - Husband (Host)
Okay, any, they wanted. 

20:02 - Wife (Host)
But only the beautiful ones, but only yeah, fucking ugly ones just got. 

20:06 - Husband (Host)
you know who knows. 

20:09 - Wife (Host)
They got tossed to the curb. 

20:10 - Husband (Host)
Yeah right. 

20:11 - Wife (Host)
Then the Lord said my spirit will not put up with humans for such a long time, for they are only mortal flesh. In the future, their normal lifespan will be no more than 120 years. 

20:22 - Husband (Host)
So he's like he created us in his own image and then he got tired of us. So he's like you're going to die quicker now. Yeah, I just don't. I don't like you guys anymore. Yeah, okay. 

20:31 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, basically. 

20:32 - Husband (Host)
Again, it kind of holds true to my theory that he's an asshole. 

20:35 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, because, like, that's definitely not how I feel about my kids, right, yeah, yeah, in those days, and for some time after giant Nephalites, nephalites lived on the earth, for whenever the sons of God had intercourse with women, they gave birth to children who became the heroes and famous warriors of ancient times. The Lord observed the extent of human wickedness on the earth and he saw that everything they thought or imagined was consistently and totally evil. 

21:04 - Husband (Host)
Hmm, okay. 

21:07 - Wife (Host)
I don't get it. 

21:08 - Husband (Host)
But why? Why was it like they? 

21:10 - Wife (Host)
had sex Right With women. 

21:12 - Husband (Host)
What were they imagining and conceiving of? That was evil. 

21:16 - Wife (Host)
I don't. I think that they had sex. 

21:19 - Husband (Host)
Okay, I mean, there was warriors too, so I guess maybe they were killing each other. 

21:23 - Wife (Host)
I don't. What are giant Nephalites? 

21:27 - Husband (Host)
Don't know. 

21:28 - Wife (Host)
I'll look that one up and get back to you next time. 

21:30 - Husband (Host)
I mean, I'm imagining like some giant flying bug that just sounds like to me. 

21:34 - Wife (Host)
But I mean, I know that it's like a beetle that can knock over houses. 

21:40 - Husband (Host)
That's what I'm. Beetle that can knock over flies, yeah. 

21:43 - Wife (Host)
Well, Nephalem are a type of angel, I think. Oh like Nephalem and Seraphim. 

21:48 - Husband (Host)
I don't know. 

21:49 - Wife (Host)
But what is a Nephalite? Sounds kind of like Nephalopicus. So the Lord was sorry he had even ever made them and put them on the earth. It broke his heart. 

22:02 - Husband (Host)
Oh my God, what a. 

22:04 - Wife (Host)
I'm sorry, I even made you you pieces of shit. 

22:07 - Husband (Host)
Right, right Wow. 

22:10 - Wife (Host)
And the Lord said I will wipe this human race I have created from the face of the earth. 

22:15 - Husband (Host)
Hold on, hold on. He is. He is like all knowing and powerful and he can't control his fucking humans and he made them in his image. And he made them in his image. Yeah, like what the hell? 

22:25 - Wife (Host)
this guy's not, I mean he is the worst manager, the face of the planet is the worst manager on the face of the planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So he's gonna wipe him out. Yes, I will destroy every living thing, all the people, the large animals, the small animals that scurry along the ground, and even the birds of the sky. I am sorry, I ever made them. That is a temper tantrum right. That is like when you're playing a game of chess and you're losing, and so you pick up the board and you throw it. 

23:01 - Husband (Host)
Again, I wonder why do we worship this thing? 

23:04 - Wife (Host)
I don't. 

23:05 - Husband (Host)
I mean, I don't either, but like he sounds like really childish. 

23:09 - Wife (Host)
He sounds petulant. Yeah, yeah, but Noah found favor with the Lord. Noah makes the Ark. This is the account of Noah and his family. 

23:19 - Husband (Host)
This is the only reason I know what a cubit is. 

23:22 - Wife (Host)
A cubit? Yeah. Is it a measurement? 

23:24 - Husband (Host)
Yeah it's a measurement. It's from the tip of your middle finger to your elbow. 

23:29 - Wife (Host)
Oh, that's a cubit. Yeah, so your cubit is bigger than my cubit. This is the account of Noah and his family. Noah was a righteous man, the only blameless person living on earth at the time, and he walked in close fellowship with God. Noah was the father of three sons, as we've already covered Shem, ham and Japheth. Right. 

23:53
Now God saw that the earth had become corrupt and was filled with violence. Oh, you were right Warriors fighting all the time. Yeah, you called that God observed all this corruption in the world, for everyone on earth was corrupt. Maybe don't you kind of wish that God would see all the corruption in our government and wipe them the fuck out. 

24:14 - Husband (Host)
Well, the way he acts, he just wiped out the planet and picked one person to not kill because he's, you know, childish. 

24:23 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, Okay. 

24:25 - Husband (Host)
He doesn't have time for us. 

24:27 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, he's real busy with all of his projects. 

24:31 - Husband (Host)
We can't complain to HR, we're just fucked. 

24:35 - Wife (Host)
So God said to Noah I have decided to destroy all living creatures, for they have filled the earth with violence. Yes, I will wipe them all out along with the earth. Build a large boat from Cyprus wood and waterproof it with tar inside and out, then construct decks and stalls throughout its interior. Oh, this is where we get the measurements. Make the boat 450 feet long, 75 feet wide and 45 feet high. Leave an 18 inch opening below the roof all the way around the boat. 

25:07 - Husband (Host)
See, that must be where they rewarded it to, because it used to be. That was cubits. 

25:09 - Wife (Host)
Cubits, but they translated it to feet Right, Got it. Put the door on the side and build three decks inside the boat lower, middle and upper. Look, I'm about to cover the earth with a flood that will destroy every living thing that breathes. Everything on earth will die, but I will confirm my covenant with you. So enter the boat, you and your wife and your sons and their wives. I wonder if they were allowed to bring their kiddos. 

25:37 - Husband (Host)
Did they have? He doesn't say if they had kiddos. 

25:39 - Wife (Host)
I imagine that they did if they were fucking, like they say they're fucking. 

25:43 - Husband (Host)
Well, but he was in good with God and all that shit. 

25:46 - Wife (Host)
So maybe, like I don't know, Would you get on a boat if you couldn't bring your kids and grandkids? 

25:53 - Husband (Host)
No. 

25:54 - Wife (Host)
Like let's say that it's Noah's sons but and their wives, but not your son's wives and their kids. 

26:03 - Husband (Host)
Right, yeah, that's. I don't sound very good, that would be your grandkids. Right, I wouldn't be okay with God at that point. 

26:10 - Wife (Host)
No, I would be like no, my grandkids are getting on this fucking boat. 

26:14 - Husband (Host)
But Noah was the only one that was in like cahoots with God. 

26:17 - Wife (Host)
Yeah. 

26:17 - Husband (Host)
But he's still letting them bring his wife and his kids and their wives, and so, technically, isn't he setting them self up for more failure. Sounds like I mean, I'm just saying sounds like because he started off his whole thing with just a couple people in the beginning too. Yeah, like what makes him think this is going to work better. 

26:38 - Wife (Host)
Well, clearly it doesn't, because we're alive today to see the messy left behind. Bring a pair of every kind of animal, a male and a female, into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. Pairs of every kind of bird and every kind of animal and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground will come to you to be kept alive, and be sure to take on board enough food for your family and for all the animals. So Noah did everything, exactly as God had commanded him. Now I have a question Like remember when we were reading earlier on that Adam named all the animals and you were like that can't possibly be true, because he'd still be naming them today. 

27:17 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

27:19 - Wife (Host)
So now he's saying and get all those animals on that boat. So my theory is, or my question is there must have been. Were there fewer animals back then? I mean, I got birds and serpents and sheep, and livestock fish and birds. 

27:39 - Husband (Host)
But then that would basically prove evolution. 

27:44 - Wife (Host)
How. 

27:45 - Husband (Host)
Because there's more today than there was then that God just continued creating new bugs. 

27:49 - Wife (Host)
No. 

27:50 - Husband (Host)
Because fuck him for mosquitoes. I mean seriously. Oh yeah, definitely fucking for mosquitoes. They serve no purpose in my world. 

27:57 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, yeah, I don't know. That's the end of chapter six. Oh, okay. Next part of the flood. 

28:03 - Husband (Host)
Ooh, all right. 

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29:33 - Wife (Host)
Okay, so chapter seven. All right Chapter seven, when everything was ready, the Lord said to Noah go into the boat with all your family, for among all the people on earth, I can see that you alone are righteous. 

29:45 - Husband (Host)
You alone. Not his family, but him. 

29:48 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, even your wife is a piece of shit. 

29:50 - Husband (Host)
But I'll let you bring her, yeah. 

29:51 - Wife (Host)
And your kids totally suck, but. 

29:53 - Husband (Host)
I'll let you bring them Right. And their wives totally suck too. Their wives are right out. I mean they're women, but they're still good to come. 

29:58 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, but everybody else? 

30:00 - Husband (Host)
they just die. 

30:01 - Wife (Host)
They just die. Okay, fuck those guys. Yeah. Take with you seven pairs, male and female, of each animal I have approved for eating and for sacrifice and take one Wait, wait, wait, wait. 

30:13 - Husband (Host)
we were sacrificing shit to God back then. Apparently, we were. Holy shit, I didn't know. We did sacrifices. Yeah, apparently we did. Christianity is sounds really pagan ish. 

30:24 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, it really does. Okay, and what I want to know is how does killing an animal and being like, oh my God, with all this blood, you so great, I don't, I don't really get all that Like, I don't get any wonders why they became more like right there sacrificing the animals to him. Yeah. 

30:42 - Husband (Host)
And wondering why they're. You know, blood thirsty people. 

30:48 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, like you make them kill animals and pray at you and worship you. That's crazy. That's childish, it's I just keep coming back to that, right, it's so childish and petulant. Yeah. 

31:01
Okay, so I have approved for eating and for sacrifice and take one pair of each of the others Also. Take seven pairs of every kind of bird, seven seven pairs why? To eat and to worship, I guess and to feed the other animals. Okay there must be a male and a female in each pair to ensure that all life will survive on the earth after the flood. After all, we know that just a man and a woman of each one that will somehow create an entire population. 

31:29 - Husband (Host)
Right, we saw that happen once. Yeah, yeah, and there won't be any inbreeding whatsoever and none of those that are on the ship died of sickness. 

31:38 - Wife (Host)
Apparently. I don't know, we're not there yet, maybe they did. I've never read this before I just kind of know hearsay. 

31:44 - Husband (Host)
Right, right. 

31:45 - Wife (Host)
Seven days from now, I will make the rains pour down on the earth, and it will rain for 40 days and 40 nights until I have wiped from the earth all the living things I have created. Okay, okay, so did you know? Don't you think? A? 

31:59 - Husband (Host)
duck could live for, like I mean. 

32:01 - Wife (Host)
I think a duck could probably live, not on the boat. 

32:04 - Husband (Host)
Right. And what about the fish in the sea? He's saying all life. 

32:08 - Wife (Host)
Right. 

32:09 - Husband (Host)
It's not going to wipe out the fish in the sea. 

32:11 - Wife (Host)
It's not going to wipe out the fish in the sea. 

32:13 - Husband (Host)
But again that might have been on purpose, because they couldn't also come on the boat. 

32:17 - Wife (Host)
Right, so he might have given them a pass Right. 

32:19 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, Maybe it means all life. He means all life. But the sea creatures, they're good. 

32:24 - Wife (Host)
Right, I guess he could have done like a fire if he really wanted to like get everybody gone. 

32:31 - Husband (Host)
Right. 

32:32 - Wife (Host)
My cat Miao-in. 

32:34 - Husband (Host)
Yeah. 

32:35 - Wife (Host)
So did you know, though, that there have been things found that do prove that there was a giant flood back then? 

32:46 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, but I mean, it's also a localized thing, it's not? Like right, Right, you know it was in the area that they consider to be the entire planet, right, the entire planet being that Middle East, that little continent section. Right, yeah, yeah, I mean okay, so there was a flood there was a flood. 

33:06 - Wife (Host)
Call me shocked. No, I mean I'm not saying that that proves the entire Bible. I'm just saying it is interesting that there was a flood. 

33:15 - Husband (Host)
Sure. As there might be, there was also dinosaurs. 

33:18 - Wife (Host)
There was also dinosaurs, and they did not make it onto the boat, I notice. So Noah did everything as the Lord commanded him. Noah was 600 years old when the flood covered the earth. He went on board the boat to escape the flood, he and his wife and his sons and their wives no more, though, right no grandkids. With them were all the various kinds of animals, those approved for eating and for sacrifice and those that were not, along with all the birds and the small animals that scurry along the ground, repetitive much. They entered the boat in pairs, male and female, just as God had commanded Noah. After seven days, the waters of the flood came and covered the earth. Good grief, I thought that there was like this whole section of the Bible where Noah, like, argued with his neighbors and stuff. 

34:05 - Husband (Host)
I mean, I kind of recall that as well, but maybe that's more like a side story or something. 

34:10 - Wife (Host)
Is that either a side story that we'll read about later? 

34:13 - Husband (Host)
or is that like? A side something to do with the versions that we're reading. 

34:16 - Wife (Host)
Or maybe it's a side story that was made up that we're confusing as biblical. 

34:22 - Husband (Host)
That actually wasn't from the Bible, but was something that you know well you know how, like US history books gloss over the fact that you know slavery and civil rights and voting rights, and you know they call it states rights, and then racism was done, etc. Yeah, maybe the Bible like because I know there's like children's versions out there and stuff Maybe the Bible has a similar like rewriting of history, like here's the happy, fun version and it's more story like not that you know, killing everybody is fun. 

34:49 - Wife (Host)
I was going to say could you imagine if this was the happy version, what was the bad grown up version look like. 

34:53 - Husband (Host)
But, you but. But in order to make it palatable, you got to make sure you demonize those people and the children's eye to make it worthy. You can't just say and God just decided to kill everybody. 

35:03 - Wife (Host)
Right. 

35:04 - Husband (Host)
That's the end. 

35:06 - Wife (Host)
Although, I mean, that's kind of what this does. 

35:08 - Husband (Host)
Right, no, he, that's what it says in there. I'm saying like the Children's Bible, though like there may there's other versions out there that might be like hey, let's make this a little bit more palatable and not you know, just straight up massacring all humanity that the parts that we remember with Noah arguing with his neighbors and building the arc. 

35:27 - Wife (Host)
Maybe some creative license that was taken later. 

35:32 - Husband (Host)
Possibly. If anybody knows, please reach out to us and enlighten us. 

35:37 - Wife (Host)
Well, I mean, we're going to keep reading, so maybe. 

35:39 - Ad (Ad)
Well, yeah. 

35:40 - Wife (Host)
We'll come across it, but yeah, um, I would love answers to all of our questions Cause like, seriously, we just don't believe in God. 

35:48 - Husband (Host)
and we? This is our first time reading through the Bible, so this is not convincing we did not research this ahead of time. 

35:54
We're just kind of commenting on the way through, yeah and uh. We're a little bit confused, based on a lot. Confused, though, based on what we have, you know, gleaned through our life versus what is being said here, because it's just like one, two, three, go kill all the people, right, and the story, like you and I have heard, is more like all these people were being really shitty and they were partying and killing people and war and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then they spent time pleading to get on the ship and he spent time arguing with them before the flood came and you know, there was all this whole thing. There's this whole thing. 

36:29 - Wife (Host)
Maybe there's stories to come. Maybe, let's find out. 

36:32 - Husband (Host)
All right. 

36:33 - Wife (Host)
When Noah was 600 years old. On the 17th day of the second month, all the underground waters erupted from the earth and the rain fell in mighty torrents from the sky. Jack Torrance, jack Torrance, he's the guy from the shining. 

36:50 - Husband (Host)
Yeah, I know, what does that have to do with the Bible? The? Mighty Torrance fell from the sky the mighty Jack Torrance were raining down Got it. 

36:58 - Wife (Host)
Okay, that was a reach. But I can't hear the word Torrent without thinking of the shining. The rain continued to fall for 40 days and 40 nights. That very day, noah had gone into the boat with his wife and his sons, shem Ham and Japheth and their wives. With them in the boat were pairs of every kind of animal, domestic and wild, large and small, along with birds of every kind. Oh my God, this is like the fifth time we've had to cover this Right. 

37:26 - Husband (Host)
They just want to make sure real good that we got those things on the boat. 

37:29 - Wife (Host)
Got this two by two. They came into the boat representing every living thing that breeds. A male and female of each kind entered just as God had commanded. Noah, then the Lord closed the door behind them. 

37:39 - Husband (Host)
The Lord closed the door. 

37:40 - Wife (Host)
The Lord closed the door. 

37:42 - Husband (Host)
Damn. That like that special treatment right there. I know I didn't really it was ballet service. 

37:47 - Wife (Host)
Right, Like he came down and he shut it himself. Shit. He's like all right, get going. 

37:53 - Husband (Host)
Huh. 

37:53 - Wife (Host)
Here comes the rain. For 40 days, the flood waters grew deeper, covering the ground and lifting the boat high above the earth 40 days and 40 nights. 

38:04 - Husband (Host)
Don't forget that part. 

38:05 - Wife (Host)
Well, it's very important but this just says 40 days on this particular verse. As the waters rose higher and higher above the ground, the boat floated safely on the surface. Finally, the water covered even the highest mountains on the earth, rising more than 22 feet above the highest peak. 

38:22 - Husband (Host)
Oh my gosh, how did they measure that? Do you think they got to stick out and we're like, yep, that's 22 feet only. Back then it would have been cubits, so he would have had to use his elbow and his fingertip. 

38:34 - Wife (Host)
That's pretty deep. How do you think he survived that dive? 

38:38 - Husband (Host)
He swum down 22 feet just to measure how, and how do they know it was the highest mountain that they'd like, were they traversing the? 

38:48 - Wife (Host)
entire earth. Yeah, I don't know. 

38:51 - Husband (Host)
I call bullshit on this. 

38:52 - Wife (Host)
I call bullshit on this also. Finally, the water covered even the highest mountains on the earth, rising more than 22 feet above the highest peaks. All the living things on earth died Birds, domestic animals, wild animals, small animals that scurry along the ground and all the people Except for the ones on the ship. 

39:11
That's really sad. Everything that breathed and lived on dry land died. God wiped out every living thing on the earth People, livestock, small animals that scurry along the ground and the birds of the sky. All were destroyed. The only people who survived were Noah and those with him on the boat, and the floodwaters covered the earth for 150 days, and the sea creatures. 

39:33 - Husband (Host)
Don't forget about the sea creatures. They lived too. 

39:37 - Wife (Host)
But this is sad. 

39:38 - Husband (Host)
I know, but you know this is stupid, though, like he killed all the furry animals that scurry along the earth and the birds and all this bullshit, because they were on land with his human beings that he created Right, not because they were bad right. But because they were on land with the other humans right. 

39:57
But he let all the sea creatures live right Because he didn't have a way to flood the things that are already in the flood. So he killed some animals, but not all animals, and he only killed them because he wanted to kill us I'm sorry, human beings. 

40:14 - Wife (Host)
Yeah, not me. Right, I wasn't there. 

40:17 - Husband (Host)
No, we weren't there. 

40:18 - Wife (Host)
No, that's the end of the chapter, but I just, I hate leaving off on such a and he killed them all. The end. 

40:25 - Husband (Host)
Right Mass murder our God. 

40:27 - Wife (Host)
Okay, see you next week. 

40:29 - Husband (Host)
Yep, we'll see you next week. Everybody, thanks for stopping by. Yeah, I don't know. All right, bye, bye.