Bible Study for Atheists: Leviticus Chapters 11 - 12

[00:00:00] Hey you, welcome to Sacrilegious Discourse! I'm husband. I'm wife. And together we're reading the Bible. Starting with Genesis and eventually ending with revelations, we're working through every book and offering our ETH2 cents. Four shacles. Yeah, those. We're asking questions and pointing out all the nonsense.

[00:00:25] What kind of academics or scholars? Nope. In fact, when it comes to religion, we really don't know anything at all.

[00:00:31] What we've learned so far is that God's a dick. Oh, he really is, isn't he? If you're interested in how we've reached the startling conclusion, maybe start from episode 1. Otherwise, jump in anywhere. It's all good? Yep! Hey! Hey! Happy Post Memorial Day? Yeah.

[00:01:04] Although, I guess it's not as thing you say happy about. Happy long weekend associated with a day that... Well, I mean we do celebrate our anniversary for... Happy anniversary! That's better. There you go. Alright. Do you remember what happened last time?

[00:01:25] We read portions of Leviticus. We did! Good on you! I mean, that's all I got. Do you remember which portions? Leviticus? Okay, stop stalling. Do you remember anything of what happened last time or not?

[00:01:45] I don't. Okay. So, what happened was one of the things was that Aaron's sons burned their wrong kind of wood. They fucking died! And they got killed? Those fuckers got smited! They got smited. They got smoke. Man. They got smoke. That wasn't crazy, I shit.

[00:02:07] And then the other remaining brothers were told don't grieve. Yeah, well but like all of Israel could grieve, but... But you're not... It's coming back to me now, see? Yeah, the brothers were like told don't you grieve, don't you cry for them fools?

[00:02:22] Yeah. They burned the wrong time of type of wood. They knew what they did. What even though it was the wrong instance, wasn't it? No, it was the wrong kind of wood. Why kind of wood? Yeah. Anyway, that was crazy stuff. That was crazy stuff.

[00:02:36] No, they burned the wrong kind of fire. Not wood. Okay, I burned the wrong kind of fire. Right? Yeah, I mean I always get the blue flame when I'm supposed to get the red flame, you know? God. You can't do it. So... What are we doing today?

[00:02:51] What we are doing today is Leviticus, chapters 11 and 12. All right. Before we get into it? Wait. Yeah. Okay, that's what I was doing. Waiting before we got into it. No, do your housekeeping bullshit in a minute. Okay. What anniversary was this for us?

[00:03:11] Why did you have to ask that? She knew her. Just be fair, we don't know every single year because we got married twice. Why do we give married twice? Before insurance, basically. Yeah. And then the other ones are actual ceremony sort of.

[00:03:29] But we kind of always go by the initial one because we're still married and that's the longer one. That's more fun. So it's like 12 or 13 years? It's 13, 13. If you go by the longest one. If you go by the longest one. See? I had, well, about 11.

[00:03:41] I had 11, 13. So I was right there. Yeah. Yeah. You did it. All right. Why did you do that to me? Because that was horrible. Because it was fun to put you on the spot because because what did we do for anniversary this year? Not a god damn thing.

[00:03:58] It was glorious. It was wonderful, wasn't it? We sat around. We did Netflix and chill and Chipotle. Yeah. That was good. It was nice. Yeah. We've waited the world and the world left us alone for a little bit. For the most part, yeah. For the most part. Yeah.

[00:04:14] Cool. All right. So housekeeping. Yeah. Make sure you visit us on sacriletasdiscourse.com. Make sure you get onto our social media. We can really use some help out there. Getting our stuff promoted. So like, you know, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Facebook, Although we have zero Facebook followers.

[00:04:34] So like if you want to be the first sacriletasdiscourse Facebook follower because we suck. We got Facebook up was like the last thing I've done. That's because I don't like Facebook. But if you're on Facebook, we do need the help over there.

[00:04:47] Yeah. So like look up sacriletasdiscourse on Facebook and go join us on there because that would be fantastic. It would. I wish I had a special prize to give the first follower, but I don't. Just the record. Yeah. We'll call you out on the next episode.

[00:05:00] If you are our first follower on Facebook, we will call you out on our next episode and say, Hey man, or woman, or person. Hey, you so much. You're awesome. Yeah. Remember when Hannah wrote us our first. Yeah, that was awesome. Our first fan mail.

[00:05:19] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're still calling her out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the episode to go. So yeah. Definitely. See, do it. Your name will go down and infamy. Did you already tell them what we're doing today or do something to do that?

[00:05:32] Um, we're doing 11 and 12s, but I think I already did say that. Okay. Full. On the Leviticus 11 and 12 then. Yeah. Let's go. Hey wife. Yes husband. Did you know that we are now on Patreon? Um, yes because you told me but also no tell me more.

[00:05:56] So we're on Patreon now. Are we? We are and our supporters can go there in support us and we have multiple levels all the way up to you killed God. That sounds really drastic and escalated quicklyish.

[00:06:10] Well, no. There's multiple levels before there. So that's, that's, that escalates on the sliding scale of, you know, cheap to not cheap. But you know, we can definitely use any amount. So like any support is always appreciated. So what exactly is Patreon?

[00:06:26] It's a place where you can show your support for our podcast and just our podcast. Any podcast or any performer, but you know, we're the ones that, you know, you're listening to right now. So maybe you should, you know, support us. That'd be awesome.

[00:06:38] That would be awesome. But we love you anyway. So all you gotta do is go to Patreon, look up, Sacrifice. This course it's actually patreon.com for slash sacrifice. This course is our actual main page there. So head on over and send us some love. Yeah. Oh, hey.

[00:06:58] Hey. Are you ready to try this again? Yeah. I mean, we gave us like a half hour after your fuck up. My fuck up. Yeah. It was a fuck up. I said my name. I know. And we're supposed to be anonymous.

[00:07:13] So like, you know, sorry, and I apologize profusely. She did. But you know what's really funny is that you didn't even hear it because you don't listen to me. That's not true.

[00:07:22] I'm so used to you saying my name that I didn't register that you had said my name. Did I register slash didn't hear me regardless? I called myself now. My whole job in this podcast is to respond to what you read.

[00:07:35] So I am by the nature of this podcast listening intently on everything you're saying. And was it something that you're used to hearing? It was actually used to be a bit like the fuck out because it's a training information that I don't know my name.

[00:07:49] That is not good. Listen in. No, it's it's it's it's it's is blowing me. A vision listening. It's efficient listening. Whatever. Yeah. You're dumb ass. No. It's I'm going for the highest efficiency. Whatever. Anyway, let's get on with a little bit of just chapter 11. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[00:08:09] All right. Ready. Leviticus chapter 11. Clean and unclean animals. I bet it has to do with clothing hooves and chewing the cut. I wonder how you know that. Then the Lord said to Moses and Aaron give the following instructions to the people of Israel of all the land animals.

[00:08:26] These are the ones you may use for food. You may eat any animal that has completely split hooves and choose to be a child. And choose the cut. What is the cut?

[00:08:37] I think it's grass, but I don't know that for to be certain because you know what we should have looked that up while we were restarting this. Lots of things that we should do that we never do. That's like we just wing this shit every week. It's true.

[00:08:53] And somehow it ends up going and people will listen to it. That's true. And they like it. I think I hope. Well, it seems that they know. I mean, it seems like they do. I mean, more or less and now than did before that. I mean, that's true.

[00:09:06] I don't know anybody that's going to hate listen to the us reading the Bible. Well, we do a lot better though when we're off the cuff and we never heard the words before so. But I still want to know what the cut is. Why?

[00:09:19] I want to know why it's not some cut or a cut or I don't know those cuts. I think it's grass. So why not say grass? Because it's not just grass. Like grains and. Okay, so why isn't it some choose some cut? Why is it choose the cut?

[00:09:36] I don't know. It's like the difference between nobody puts baby in a corner versus nobody puts baby in the corner. It makes all the difference in the world. I don't. I don't have a good answer for you. All right. I'm just saying. Yeah.

[00:09:51] You may not however eat the following animals that have split hooves or that chew the cut but not both. So it's gotta be both. No, not just one or the other. Got it. And certainly not neither. Yeah. So don't eat cats.

[00:10:04] They don't have hooves to begin with at all. I'm just saying don't eat them. Right. But we're just talking about split hoof animals right now. I don't think that's true. Well, you could certainly eat birds and they don't have hooves. Well, I don't know.

[00:10:18] Because they serve them with the foot. But they serve them at the fucking offerings. Oh, that's true. So you can eat birds and they don't have hooves. Right. God. Just saying. You're so argumentative. Just saying. The camel choose the cut but does not have split hooves.

[00:10:34] So it is ceremonially unclean for you. Don't eat the camel. Okay. No camel. Don't eat the camel. Even though it choose the cut. What if camel just tastes absolutely delicious? I can't imagine that. I like camel. Well, let me rephrase that.

[00:10:49] I've never met a camel but I imagine that I like them and they're really cute like in arts and crafts. They're kind of cute in a way. We eat them all the time. We have no reservation about that.

[00:11:01] But that was introduced to me before I had an idea about it. So it was camel was a. It was already in my system. Like I already was eating it before I had any way to think one way or the other about it.

[00:11:13] And you're like, cut or not, you taste delicious. Right. I mean, I don't think I, well, okay, let's take a pause here. Could you go vegetarianly? Or at least no beef? Do you think you could go no beef?

[00:11:24] If I had somebody cooking amazingly good vegetarian dishes, which will never happen in this house. Okay. So we would have to subscribe to some excellent meal delivery services like blue apron or what's the other one like fresh basket and what are those otherwise? I don't know.

[00:11:44] They can sponsor us and I'll mention their name. Right. I'm just saying like we would have to subscribe to all these different food delivery. I mean, box subscription things and I would cook those. Well yeah, because you just got a dump thing, ingredients and go.

[00:12:02] Dump them in the pan and pretty much cook them up and then add the sauce and simmer and tada. Is that what I made? Okay, the high racks. What's a high racks? I don't know. Never heard of a high racks before. It's definitely not a lower act though.

[00:12:18] No. The lower act speaks for the trees, but I don't know what the high racks speaks for. I want to know what a high rack says. I don't know. It choose the cut whatever it is. Okay. But does not have split hooves? So it is unclean.

[00:12:33] So don't eat the high racks. Got it. The hair. Choose the cut. But does not have split hooves. So it is unclean. But I know people eat rabbit. Well, there's different between a rabbit and a hair. That's essentially the same thing. It's not, I mean they're related.

[00:12:50] Oh my god. This is why we need the soundproof podcast in rooms. So we don't have like freaking siren or a truck. I wonder if like one of our neighbors is on fire. I mean, I mean, look, they're all zoomed in past and then it's like,

[00:13:08] Well, gosh, I wish they'd be quiet so we could do our podcast. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, gosh. That was just a truck. Now you're just getting distracted. I was just going to get back to the podcast now. Sorry.

[00:13:24] I'm just like dumbfounded that you're just going to have to do this a third time if you don't Like, you know, shut your attention. Shut your face. The pig has evenly split hooves but does not chew the cut so it is unclean. I am not giving up bacon.

[00:13:36] There's no fucking way. I love bacon but it is so fatty. Oh, I know. I know. I even get migraines when I eat it but I am not giving up my bacon. You know what? I really like a good ham and cheese sandwich. Yeah.

[00:13:49] And you know where the best ham and cheese sandwich that I ever had was from? Where's that? Hooters. I know. And that was ridiculous. And it might have just been the one location. I don't even know.

[00:14:00] There's a hooters in St. Petersburg, Florida that that was a really loud motorcycle. What the fuck traffic? Okay, sorry. You can tell this is a perfect. My God. Hooters, ham and cheese. It was so good. What now? Professional.

[00:14:18] I'm just going to say you can tell this is a professional production. Whatever. I never said it was. No, I know. You get what you get. It sounds in this one. Like, ah. You get what you get and you don't get upset. Right. That's the thing.

[00:14:32] You mean not the meat of these animals as mentioned above or even touch their carcasses. They are ceremonially unclean for you. Stop touching the pigs. I mean, I'm always touching carcasses. And the high riches. Yeah. Definitely. I'm all about the higher x carcasses.

[00:14:48] Ooh, now we're going to learn about marine animals of all the marine animals. These are the ones you may use for food. Okay. You may not eat anything from the water if it has both fins and scales. Whether taking from salt water or from strings.

[00:15:06] Let me make sure I read that right. You may eat anything from the water, not may not eat. You may eat. Okay. As long as it has both fins and scales. That makes better sense. Okay. You can eat the fishes. Got it. Got it.

[00:15:21] And that's salt water or streaks. You can eat them. Okay. But you must never eat animals from the sea or from rivers that do not have both fins and scales. That would like rule out like shellfish. Shark. Who eats a shark? People eat a shark. Do they really?

[00:15:38] Yeah. That seems weird. I would never eat a shark. I'm just not interested. I don't think they have scales, so. No, they don't. I have like a tough, like dolphin. Yeah. They are detestable to you. Did you know that? That seems like saying this is ugly to you.

[00:15:56] Wait, I'll be the judge of that. Yeah. You don't tell me what tastes gross to me. Okay. This applies both to little creatures that live in shallow water and to all creatures that live in deep water, so this is shellfish. Don't eat shellfish, which I'm allergic to anyways.

[00:16:12] Yeah. That's fine for me. They will always be detestable to you. I've said this before, but there's an awful lot of fucking rules in this book. A lot of rules that are kind of bullshity. You must never eat their meat or even touch their dead bodies.

[00:16:28] Any marine animal that does not have both fins and scales is detestable to you. What exactly are you supposed to do if you have a shark riding out back of your house? Just like kind of up on shore, and it's just stinking up the place.

[00:16:39] You get a broom and use the stick and to poke it away. Okay. These are the birds that are detestable to you. Okay. I'm ready. You must never eat them. The Griffin Vulture, the bearded vulture, the black vulture. I don't eat vulture. Okay. You know why?

[00:17:02] Because they're carrying eaters. And so they carry lots of diseases. Right. That's why. I wouldn't eat them anyway. Never eat scavenger animals. Really, that's why you should eat pigs because they are scavenger animals also. Whatever.

[00:17:18] The kite, falcons of all kinds, ravens of all kinds, the eagle owl, the short-eared owl, the seagull, hawks of all kinds, the little owl, the quorumarant, the great owl, the barn owl, the desert owl, the Egyptian vulture, the stork. Herons of all kinds, the hoopoe and the bat.

[00:17:41] Okay. I'll lay belly through bat in there with the birds. I know. A bat is not a bird. Right. What is a bat? It's a golden. It's a rodent. Yeah, it's a rodent. Yeah. Whatever. Stupid. You kind of wrong about that. Well, we both came to that conclusion.

[00:17:56] Right. We had a guess. They certainly look like a flying rodent. Pretty nasty. They're nasty. I don't like bats. Yeah. I don't like most creatures. I don't like people. You know what? I don't like most things.

[00:18:08] You should just, yeah, I was going to say you should stop it. I don't like. I don't like. You must not eat winged insects that walk along the ground. They are detestable to you. Winged insects that walk along the ground. They're flying. They're flying. They're eating a bite.

[00:18:25] They're eating a bite. I don't know. Okay. Cockroaches don't eat a cockroach. Okay. Because they walk along the ground. Are they winged? They're winged. Are they? You didn't know cockroaches are winged? Yeah, yeah. Whatever. They fly too. They're grody. That's grody. But if fucking nasty.

[00:18:44] I hear you agree. You may, however, eat winged insects that walk along the ground and have wings to legs so they can jump. I don't even know what that entails.

[00:18:55] And how do you like, you pick it up and you look at it and you be like, no, okay. No joints on them little legs. The insects you are permitted to eat include all kinds of locusts, bald locusts, crickets, and grasshoppers. We got plenty of locust right now.

[00:19:15] I know because it's cicadas. But we did hear that it's probably not a great idea to eat them. Oh yeah, because they got the ass munch that ass eating parasite. Or whatever. The bacteria. Yeah. No, the fungi. Flush eating disease.

[00:19:31] The blood sheeding disease fungus that is an ass munch thing that chooses their back ends off. But also you can get high off of them apparently. Well, yeah, but you don't want to eat them because. You get high off of it.

[00:19:43] You're probably going to be not in good shape. And they have a lot of other toxins in them. Right. The thing that meets you, I is also the thing that has other toxins and point being don't eat a bunch of cicadas. Don't eat cicadas, you guys.

[00:19:57] I know that it's a thing and that there's all this dipoman chocolate there, delicacy. And look, I'm not afraid to try new things. But I read reports that said these are not the new things to try. Just don't do it. Right.

[00:20:10] All other winged insects that walk along the ground are detestable to you. Okay. I've decided for you. You don't like them. Got it. The following creatures will make you ceremonially unclean. If any of you touch their carcasses, you will be defiled until evening.

[00:20:28] If you pick up their carcasses, you'd like to go ahead that until evening. I still leave me. Oh, is that a, oh, I thought was going to be a bigger person than that. Yeah. I'm fine. So do what you want.

[00:20:39] Till evening, if you pick up their carcasses, you must wash your clothes. I mean, I would hope you'll wash them fucking anyway. But okay. And you will remain defiled until evening. Any animal that has split hooves that are not evenly divided or that does not true the

[00:20:57] cut is unclean for you. Okay. If you touch the carcass of such an animal, you will be defiled. Until evening. I think, right? Yeah, I guess. Of the animals that walk on all fours, those that have paws are unclean. See, don't eat cats. Told ya.

[00:21:17] I mean, I wouldn't need a cat anyway because I love my kitty. Right. If you touch the carcass of such an animal, you will be defiled until evening. But, what do you think? Until evening, anyway. I don't know. I don't know. It just says it. Yeah.

[00:21:32] Here's the thing. I'm not to touch the carcass of a pod animal. If my cat dies, I'm gonna fucking touch it. Right. Because I'm gonna be sad and I'm gonna hug it and I'm gonna make sure that it's properly put in

[00:21:47] a nice little box with pretty little bows and things. Sure. And then I'm gonna bury it. I'm gonna touch that carcass because I'm gonna cry a lot. Yeah. So fuck you. Yeah. Besides, it's just till evening.

[00:22:00] If you pick up its carcass, you must wash your clothes and you will remain defiled till evening. These animals are unclean for you. Of the small animals that scurry along the ground, these are unclean for you. Ready? I'm ready.

[00:22:16] The mole rat, the rat, large lizards of all kinds, the gecko, the monitor lizard, the common lizard, the sand lizard, and the chameleon. Those are all reptilian aren't they? They are. Yeah. Which is probably a way to keep people from getting, um, what is it?

[00:22:34] Bola or Nikola or I can't remember which one of this. Semanilla. Semanilla. Yeah. That's right. I knew it was something long as whatever. Yeah. I'm just showing my stupidity right now that's all.

[00:22:46] Well, I mean, that's why we have to wash our hands before and after playing with our snake. Right. So I mean, see there's some good advice in there. Yeah, but just tell me why don't be like, because man, you know why. They just knew people got sick.

[00:22:58] So why don't they just say, this shit makes you sick, dumbasses. I mean, it doesn't seem to help today. Like, hey, um, you know, don't drink bleach. You dumbasses. Well, they didn't have Purell and, you know, fucking ivory soap back then.

[00:23:14] So, you know, it's a, it was different time. Why the fuck for ivory soap? I don't know because it's just popping. I got to go with what pops in my head. It pops in my head. All right. It just popped in there. That's right.

[00:23:26] All these small animals are unclean for you. If any of you touch the dead body of such an animal, you will be defiled until evening. If such an animal dies, God, you would think that we live in the city. Okay.

[00:23:41] Um, if you touch, way, if any of you touch the dead body of such an animal, you will be defiled until evening. If such an animal dies and falls on something, that object will be unclean.

[00:23:53] This is true whether the object is made of wood, cloth, leather or burlap. Wow. Okay. But if it's made of plastic, it's okay. Right. We'll get a hip plastic back then. Right. Kind of my point. Whatever. This is God speaking. You should know all the things. Right.

[00:24:11] Why didn't they know about plastic back then? He didn't feel it. What is the new direction? Why hasn't he come out with a new set of rules for plastic? Oh yeah. I wish he come out with a new set of rules.

[00:24:20] Just saying if he was the all-knowing, all-powerful God, why don't we have a new rule for new elements and new things? True. Whatever it's used, you must dip it in water and it will remain defiled until evening. After that it will be ceremonially clean and maybe used again.

[00:24:37] Okay. Okay. So just wash it. Yeah. And the next day it's magically clean. They said dipped in water though. Yeah. You only have to wash it's dip it in water. Well, I mean, hold on. Um, dyes and falls and made of whatever dip it in you are right.

[00:24:55] Just dip it in water. I would wash it personally. Oh yeah. That's just me. The instructions were to dip it in water. At least dip it your dumb motherfuckers in such an animal falls into a clay pot.

[00:25:08] I mean, I mean, I mean, rat can be going in there to get some remnants of food and die. Everything in a pot will be defiled and the pot must be smashed. There is no one tells me. No, no, no, no dip in for you. That in water.

[00:25:24] Yeah. If the water from such a container spills on any food the food will be defiled. That's fair. Okay. How to fucking dead rat in it. Right. Yeah. That's fair. But I've probably had a live rat in it the day before. Whatever.

[00:25:38] And any beverage and such a container will be defiled. Yeah. I should think so. Any object on which the carcass of such an animal falls will be defiled. If it is an oven or a heart, it must be destroyed. Oh my god. Oh. Yeah. That's crazy.

[00:25:53] You've got to go back in. I think it happened in our oven. I just clean it really good. Yeah. Really good. Still clean it. Yeah. Set it to destroy it. Yeah. Yeah. Let's just not. Right. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to end up with a dead.

[00:26:08] It must be destroyed for it is defiled and you must treat it accordingly. You know, I can't afford a new oven. Right. Yeah. No. However, if the carcass of such an animal falls into a spring or a sister. Well, the water will still be clean. Hmm.

[00:26:24] I mean, I probably wouldn't depends on how big the sister is. Yeah. I wouldn't really like that. I probably would be drinking for my fuck that. But anyone who touches the carcass will be defiled. How do you get it out without? Oh my god. I can't. I can't.

[00:26:37] You know? No. It doesn't. It doesn't. I'm not leaving no dead ass animal in my fucking sister. If the carcass falls on seed grain to be planted in the field, the seed will still be considered clean. Yeah.

[00:26:52] But if the seed is wet when the carcass falls on it, the seed will be defiled. Hmm. Whatever. Okay. I don't know that by that one. Yeah. I don't give a shit about a seed. Right.

[00:27:04] If an animal you are permitted to eat dies and you touch its carcass, you will be defiled until evening. Got it. Oh, eat it. Oh, you got to touch the dead meat. I mean, you literally eat the dead meat. I don't know what they're saying here. Okay.

[00:27:20] If you eat any of its meat or carry away its carcass, you must wash your clothes and you will remain defiled until evening. I think that means like if you come across like a dead cow. Okay. You don't know how long has been sitting there running?

[00:27:34] Body's scoop up a handful of meat and stuff in your mouth. Yeah. They're saying no. It normally would be fine because of its cousin. And this could go to the taste also. Yeah, yeah. I will prove with that one. Yep.

[00:27:47] All small animals that's gray along the ground are detestable and you must never eat them period. This includes all animals that slither along on their bellies. I think it's pretty good actually. It tastes like chicken. I have heard that and I would like to try it. Right.

[00:28:02] I've always wanted to try snake and crocodile an alligator because I fucking hate crocodiles and alligator. I see like all you that shit. I will eat that shit all day. Those guys are evil. They are evil and they are bad.

[00:28:15] Crocodiles and alligators are mean and I hate them. Okay. Slither is blah blah blah. All such animals that's gray along the ground are detestable and you must never eat them. But I am going to. Right. Fuck off. Do not defile yourselves by touching them.

[00:28:32] You must not make yourself ceremonially unclean because of them. For I am the Lord your God. You must consecrate yourselves and be holy because I am holy. Speaking of the first person there in the Bible. Mm-hmm. Like, yeah. God. Yeah.

[00:28:49] Well, I mean it's Moses speaking on his behalf. Whatever. So do not defile yourselves with any of these small animals that scory along the ground. For I, the Lord and the one who brought you up from the land of Egypt that I might be your God.

[00:29:03] Oh, throw that in my face. Like, okay. Therefore you must be holy because I am holy. These are the instructions regarding land animals, birds, marine creatures and animals that scory along the ground. By these instructions, you will know what is unclean and clean and which animals may

[00:29:22] be eaten and which may not be eaten. Man, I'm glad we got those instructions. God, there's more of this though. Seriously? There will be the end of a section but it's not. Oh, shit. Here we go. Here we go. This is, should about to get real. Oh, wow.

[00:29:37] The purification of women after childbirth. Okay. Okay. That sounds heavy to me. I mean maybe. Because we are talking about a bunch of fucking men talking about vagina. All right. And vagina care. We'll see what they have. And vagina after care.

[00:29:53] Let's see what they have to say, huh? I'm a little nervous about this quite honestly. All right. And Lord Sittamoses, give the following instructions to the people of Israel. If a woman becomes pregnant and gives birth to a son, she will be ceremonially unclean for seven days.

[00:30:10] Just as she is unclean during her menstrual period. Oh my God, I'm about to come on fucking glued. I will tell you who's unclean. You know who's unclean? Men. You know why? Because men have to be trained to put the fucking toilet seat down after they piss

[00:30:26] and they have to be trained to wash the goddamn hands. And he used more than just sticking their fingers in the water. No, put your whole fucking hand in the water and use fucking soap. I'm pretty sure our neighbors heard that one. Okay.

[00:30:40] I hate men and how fucking dare they talk about my pussy is being unclean just because I was on my period. I don't even. You guys scratch your fucking balls like they're about to fall off. And you want to talk to me about what's unclean?

[00:30:53] Get the fuck out of here. Just to be clear, she's talking about all men. Not me. There. There yes. No, I got a good end. I'm just saying. You know, you're just railing off and like I'm sitting here like. Whoa. No, no.

[00:31:11] My man is good but men in general get the fuck out of you. I just want to get a clarification in there. Yeah. But even you as a man must admit that in general men are disgusting. I would tend to agree with that. Yeah. See?

[00:31:26] On the eighth day, the boys for skin must be circumcised. Was that got to do with the woman? Well, this is about birth and all this stuff that you gotta do. So I hate. Yeah, chop the leaner. I hate this just so we're clear.

[00:31:38] After weeding 33 days, she will be purified from the bleeding of childbirth. How lucky for her. During this time of purification, she must not touch anything that is set apart as holy. What? What does that mean?

[00:31:52] That means all the holy things like all the fucking incense and fucking tent cloth and fucking pots and fucking What happens 30 days after childbirth, though. Suddenly she's magically deemed done and good. She's good now. You're good now. You're not a disgusting, whole bag bleeding anymore.

[00:32:13] And she must not enter the sanctuary until her time of purification is over. Fuck you. If a woman... I thought they were women even allowed in this or what's the sanctuary of her, that I know that I love Nutabra and Acquiet. I don't fucking know.

[00:32:29] I'm too angry to give a shit. I can tell. I do not like it. She may not like it. She may not like it. I don't like it. Creating exercises. You are not going to tell me to bring it down.

[00:32:40] And not when nobody is telling you that parts of your body are disgusting and unclean and that you can't go places and touch places. You are not going to tell me to calm the fuck down.

[00:32:51] I won't be telling you this so that you're able to make it through the reading and there is this section. Because otherwise we might be here for the next hour. I'm so angry. If a woman gives birth to a daughter, she will be ceremonially unclean for two weeks.

[00:33:06] Just as she is unclean during her menstrual period. Wait, so you're unclean longer if you have given birth to a daughter versus a male? Girls are gross. Girls are horse, didn't you know? Girls are disgusting. Girls have vaginas and they bleed from them. Fucking girls. Coo!

[00:33:25] You know, we just fucking carry the weight of the entire species inside of us. No bigs. After waiting 66 days, she will be purified from the bleeding of childbirth. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. Go ahead. Go ahead. I don't understand what they're saying exactly.

[00:33:48] They're saying that women are disgusting and men are awesome. Right. That's what they're saying. All right. When the time of purification is completed for either a son or a daughter, the woman must

[00:33:59] bring a one-year-old lamb for a burn offering and a young pigeon or turtle dove for a purification offering. Please forgive me for having a pussy. Please. Please. I'm so sorry. I mean, you are God and you did give it to me. I'm so sorry about my Kant.

[00:34:17] I'm really, really sorry. God, please. She must bring her offerings to the priest at the entrance of the tabernacle. The priest will then present them to the Lord to purify her. Phew. Thank God. God is white. My vagina clean. Then she will be ceremonial.

[00:34:35] We clean again after her bleeding at childbirth. These are the instructions for a woman after the birth of a son or daughter. If a woman cannot afford to bring a lamb, she must bring two turtle devs or two. And a perforage in a perforage. Or two young pigeons.

[00:34:51] One will be for the burnt offering. Go ahead. The priest will sacrifice them to purify her and she will be ceremonially clean. Oh my God. I gotta take a break. I'm telling you because A we're still in the same section. It goes on forever and ever.

[00:35:11] Does it really? Yeah look. The next section, and this is the same chapter. Oh no, it's another chapter. My bad. Oh you know what? I wonder if I accidentally read both the chapters. I think I read both the chapters. I was so mad.

[00:35:26] I just would like write into it. Oh my God. Okay. My bad. So maybe there's no break in this one. It's straight on through. Yeah. The purification of women after childbirth. That was another chapter. That was chapter 12. Oh so yeah. Oh I was just that way.

[00:35:43] I have everybody. We're in chapter 12 now. Sorry. That happened. Yeah. And we are not going back and redoing this. No. I can't read that again. I will read that never. This has been one fucked up episode. Well, I mean that happens. Yeah. That's. Yeah.

[00:36:06] And everybody's got to have a fucked up episode. And when you're a half hour end, you just got to roll with it, you know? I mean, it wasn't that bad. You only think it could really screw this up as if one of us said each other's name

[00:36:18] with this point. Oh fuck it. I would be like, well, we're done. Put it to a quick. Like, oh sorry guys, we skipped this week because we've got this. Because I can't. Yeah, sorry. I didn't separate these like I normally do and they come in bunches.

[00:36:40] The chapters I mean. Yeah. And so I just jumped straight into the next one without stopping my apologies. That was me. Well, go ahead. Are we already through the entire chapter? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so we did. So now we're done with 11 and 12. We're done with 11 and 12.

[00:36:58] And did you go into 13 or did you know? Oh, okay. Okay. And then we stopped right then. Chapter 13 will be laws concerning leprosy. So wait, just to clarify how to add a 12 end. 12 ended right before we started talking about women.

[00:37:12] It was talking about the last sentences by these instructions. You will know what is unclean and clean and which animals may be eaten and which may not be eaten. How? That was it. Okay. And then chapter 12 is the purification of women after childbirth. Right. You said we finished 12.

[00:37:29] So that's what I thought. We did. Where did 12 end? Oh, I'm sorry. That's what I was asking. My God. The priest will sacrifice them to purify her and she will be ceremonially clean. Okay. Oh, that's right because they had to have the childbirth.

[00:37:41] All the childbirth and the birth of her. Partridge and the pair of trees to clean up her nasty poonan. Right. Okay. Got it. No, she's clean and she continues serving her man. And that was the end of 12. That was the end of 12. Sorry. No, it's all right.

[00:37:54] At least we got a little in and one up. It's just a giant one giant episode all the way through. No, no break. I mean, it's not like people like I don't doubt.

[00:38:04] Well, I want to hear from you guys if you guys take a piss break in the middle of our episode. When we do a little in between then let us know because, you know, maybe maybe you do need the break.

[00:38:14] But generally I'm guessing that people probably listen to us either while they're at work or on their way to or from work or as they're going to bed or something like that. Because that's generally my habits anyway when I let's go podcast.

[00:38:27] I mean, like I do it during some other tasks that I'm doing, you know? So they probably don't need the break and it'll let's just for us. True. True. All right. Then I'm not sorry you guys. Yeah, we're not sorry. Whatever. All right.

[00:38:45] I promise to be on my better behavior next week. Yeah. And we will read Leviticus chapter 13 and 14 at that time. And I will have them split properly and things will be better. I mean, yeah. Yeah. We can only hope. We'll do better. All right. See you guys. Bye.

[00:39:13] How's Ben? wife. Can I say the things now? Yes. Okay. So you had a list of items that you wanted people to check out? Yeah definitely. Make sure you check us out on Twitter. We are there under the handle, sac religious underscore D for D's nuts.

[00:39:30] Yeah, that's exactly where I had it gone with that. Yep. We also would love to get emails from you because we love hate mail, fan mail, the whole nine yards there. That email address is sacreligious discourse at gmail.com.

[00:39:44] And we are now on YouTube and if you are listening to us on YouTube, you're going to be running a little bit behind what our schedule is for our podcast because you're going to be hearing stuff from two months before if you are caught up.

[00:39:56] You're in the past. You're in the past. So you should join us on our podcasting apps that are available. So like you can catch us on Apple, podcast, Google podcast, Spotify. I'm on on cast box. Yeah my wife special. She's on cast box. I like cast box.

[00:40:13] And then on any of the things that you're on a week always would love it if you would like and subscribe that helps us out so so much. So yeah do those things. Do those things and we will see you guys next week. Sure. Sure we will.

[00:40:28] It's on Thursdays. You have that. Okay bye.