Bible Study for Atheists: Leviticus Chapters 17 - 18

[00:00:00] Hey you, welcome to Sacrilegious Discourse. I'm husband. I'm wife. And together we're

[00:00:11] reading the Bible. Starting with Genesis and eventually ending with

[00:00:14] revelations, we're working through every book and offering our Atheist two cents.

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[00:00:29] really don't know anything at all. What we've learned so far is that God's a dick.

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[00:01:00] remember what happened last week? We even did a Q&A. Oh, it was about gonorrhea and shit.

[00:01:08] Well, okay. Not specifically, but yeah. Well, yeah. I mean it was about discharge. It was about

[00:01:12] discharge which turns out was gonorrhea. Right. Some of which and what else? I don't know. The

[00:01:22] day of atonement. Oh, yeah. The skate goat. That's right. That's right. So that was last week.

[00:01:29] That's right. That was Leviticus chapters 15 and 16 and then we did a Q&A. That was kind

[00:01:36] of fun. That was fun. I enjoyed that. We're going to do that again so whatever questions we have

[00:01:41] from this episode, we'll answer on Tuesday. Yeah and if you guys have any questions that you come

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[00:01:56] really dumb about this shit. I mean so dumb. Yeah. So I mean like if we fuck something up,

[00:02:01] you know totally let us know. Yeah. So this week we are doing Leviticus chapters 17 and 18.

[00:02:08] All right. Well, let's get on with it. Okay.

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[00:03:24] Okay so we are doing Leviticus chapter 17 which is called One Place of Sacrifice.

[00:03:36] Just one place? Just one. Okay. Just the one. All right just want to make sure.

[00:03:40] Then the Lord said to Moses, Give the following instructions to Aaron and his sons

[00:03:46] and all the people of Israel. This is what the Lord has commanded. If any native Israelite

[00:03:52] sacrifices a bull or lamb or goat anywhere inside or outside the camp instead of bringing it to the

[00:04:00] entrance of the tabernacle to present it as an offering to the Lord that person will be as guilty

[00:04:08] as a motherfucking murderer. What? So it's only okay to slaughter things in the tabernacle.

[00:04:16] Or at the tabernacle or by the tabernacle. And God forbid you decide you know like

[00:04:21] fuck it it's too long of a walk. Let's just slaughter this thing here. You're fucked.

[00:04:25] You are a fucking murderer. Yeah. You kill people. But you can be the slave. Yeah. I mean that's okay.

[00:04:33] Or rape women. Yeah that's totally fine. Yeah. But don't kill a bull. Don't kill your own animals

[00:04:38] that belong to you. Don't kill it outside of the tabernacle. Right. But in the tabernacle

[00:04:42] it's okay. Just not outside of it. Not in your own backyard for God's sakes. What are you

[00:04:47] thinking? Oh my God you're as bad as a murderer. You might as well be a murderer. I mean Jesus.

[00:04:53] So to speak. Such a person has shed blood and will be cut off from the community.

[00:04:59] Oh they just cut off not like killed or anything. They can go live in the leper colony. You

[00:05:03] light the wrong fucking fire and you die but you slaughter a bull and consider it a murderer

[00:05:07] and you just get cut off. Okay. But I don't really I don't really get the whole like

[00:05:11] levels of how bad this shit is. The punishment does not always seem to cut the crime. Yeah.

[00:05:17] I'm like what the fuck? The purpose of this rule is to stop the Israelites from sacrificing

[00:05:23] animals in the open fields. No you know what it was. Such a fucking problem. It wasn't

[00:05:27] to stop them from sacrificing in the open fields. It was to stop them from sacrificing

[00:05:32] to other gods. Well yeah. That's what it was. That's what it was about. You can only do it

[00:05:38] here where we can see that you are doing it to our one god that we love best even though he's a dick.

[00:05:45] Well since we don't believe in God we just go out in the cornfield and slaughter bulls all the

[00:05:48] time don't you know? Well that is not what I do. And now that I know that you do

[00:05:54] I think we have some things to discuss after this recording is over. It will ensure that

[00:06:00] they bring their sacrifices to the priest at the entrance of the Tevinacle so he can present

[00:06:05] them to the Lord as peace offerings. Then the priest will be able to splatter the blood against

[00:06:11] the Lord's altar at the entrance of the Tevinacle. To have peace offerings with the word splattering

[00:06:16] blood in the same way. I know. Anywhere near each other is just ridiculous. It really is.

[00:06:21] And he will burn the fat as a pleasing aroma to the Lord. The people must no longer be unfaithful

[00:06:27] to the Lord by offering sacrifices to the goat idols. Though oh why I thought they took

[00:06:34] care of that when they slaughtered those 3000 people when they fucking made that golden

[00:06:38] calf. Clearly not if they're still making rules about stomp worshiping other gods.

[00:06:44] Especially what's this goat idol? I don't know anything about a goat idol. I don't know.

[00:06:47] At first I've heard about a goat idol. Well apparently there were goat idols. It was a calf.

[00:06:51] It was a calf. Yeah it was a golden calf. So what's this fucking goat idol thing?

[00:06:56] Apparently it's other gods that they sacrificed animals to. All right. I don't know. I'd have

[00:07:03] to look that shit up maybe. Now we can. Now we have a question for our Q&A. Yeah there you go.

[00:07:09] What the fuck is a goat idol? This is a permanent law for them to be observed from generation to

[00:07:16] generation. You know until they don't have to slaughter anything anymore. Right. Later.

[00:07:21] I wonder if there are butchers out there who are Jewish. Oh right. Well but they would

[00:07:28] only slaughter cows generally speaking like bulls don't get. But they're not supposed

[00:07:32] to be slaughtering any animal unless it's at the tabernacle. I thought it just said bulls.

[00:07:38] I don't know. Did it? I mean that's what I thought it said. Oh I thought it said animals.

[00:07:44] A bull a lamb a goat. Oh okay so yeah okay all right well as long as you're not slaughtering

[00:07:51] a lamb or a goat or bull. And you don't think a butcher would have any of those things?

[00:07:55] Probably they would have a lamb yeah and maybe goats too. Yeah probably. Yeah. So I wonder.

[00:08:02] Yeah I don't know how they deal with that. Yeah if you know of Jewish butchers please let us know

[00:08:11] how they get around this little Bible rule. Right yeah. Give them this command as well if any

[00:08:17] native Israelite or foreigner living among you offers a burnt offering or a sacrifice but does

[00:08:23] not bring it to the entrance of the tabernacle to offer it to the Lord that person will be

[00:08:28] cut off from the community. They just don't like these things being done outside the tabernacle.

[00:08:34] No they want to be all up in your business. Yeah. The eating of blood forbidden. Don't

[00:08:42] be eating blood. Yeah I'm totally ready. Yeah and if any native Israelite or foreigner living

[00:08:49] among you eats or drinks blood in any form I will turn against that person and cut them off

[00:08:55] from the community of your people for the life of the body is in its blood. I wonder how communion.

[00:09:05] I wonder if this is related to that. That's a good question because technically you're

[00:09:10] partaking in Jesus' body right or something like that. The blood of Christ and oh yeah the wine

[00:09:14] is like the blood of Christ right. Yeah and the bread is the body. So they said don't do it but

[00:09:20] then they tell us to do it as part of the religious ceremony so and then but we're supposed to believe

[00:09:27] that God never changes his mind and that he's always the same throughout. But we all know that's

[00:09:32] bullshit. That is goat shit. I have given you the blood on the altar to purify you making you

[00:09:38] right with the Lord. It is the blood given in exchange for a life that makes purification

[00:09:43] possible. That is why I have said to the people of Israel you must never eat or drink

[00:09:49] blood neither you nor the foreigners living among you. No vampires here motherfucker. Who are they to

[00:09:55] speak for the foreigners living among them? Like they don't even worship your God if they're foreigners

[00:09:58] right? Well then they need to get the fuck out. They're saying if you are going to live here

[00:10:03] you better not drink or eat blood. I want to know how you eat blood like do you freeze it?

[00:10:09] Seriously. Like a popsicle blood pop. A bloodsicle blood pop. Yeah I love it. And if any native

[00:10:17] Israelite or foreigner living among you goes hunting and kills an animal or bird that is approved for

[00:10:23] eating he must drain its blood and cover it with earth. The life of every creature is in its blood.

[00:10:31] That is why I have said to the people of Israel you must never eat or drink blood

[00:10:35] for the life of any creature is in its blood. Again sounds so like Wiccan or something doesn't

[00:10:41] really does like New Age. The life force is in the blood and it's and it must be brought back to the

[00:10:48] earth. Like blood oaths and you know you slice your hand so that you can bleed over your pot so

[00:10:56] that yeah you know so whoever consumes blood will be cut off from the community and if any native

[00:11:03] born Israelites or foreigners eat the meat of an animal that died naturally or was turned

[00:11:09] torn up by wild animals they must wash their clothes and bathe themselves in water. They will

[00:11:15] remain ceremonially unclean until evening until evening but then they will be clean but if they

[00:11:22] do not wash their clothes and bathe themselves they will be punished for their sin. I see.

[00:11:28] The end. All right that was all very interesting. That was very bloody. Yeah I say yeah I say

[00:11:36] don't eat any blood motherfuckers. All right well are we ready to head on to the next section or?

[00:11:43] Yeah Leviticus chapter 18 here we come. I'll see you guys in a second. Okay chapter 18 acts of

[00:11:56] immorality forbidden. Oh this sounds like a fun chapter. Yeah I wonder what they consider immoral.

[00:12:04] Jesus who knows. Who knows. Walking on the wrong side of the road.

[00:12:10] Then the Lord said to Moses give the following instructions to the people of Israel I am the

[00:12:15] Lord your God so do not act like the people in Egypt where you used to live or like the

[00:12:21] people of Canaan where I am taking you. You must not imitate their way of life.

[00:12:27] You must obey all my regulations and be careful to obey my decrees. Why does he?

[00:12:34] I am the Lord your God. Why does he only care about this one group of people?

[00:12:38] I don't know. It doesn't really make any sense to me. I don't know. He's there. There are his chosen

[00:12:43] people. He's like the one true God but then there's sometimes there's gods but then he doesn't care

[00:12:48] about any of the other people on the earth so like what the fuck. Yeah I don't know. If you

[00:12:53] do obey my decrees and regulations you will find life through them awesome I am the Lord.

[00:13:00] I am the Lord. I am the Lord. I am Groot.

[00:13:07] You win. Okay here we go you must never have sexual relations with a close relative for I am the Lord.

[00:13:17] I mean that's a good fair roll. Yeah it's just bad for I am the Lord. Except for that one time when

[00:13:22] earlier in the Bible. Right when the girl did a hop on pop. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently that was okay.

[00:13:27] Yeah. Because you know you gotta have a male heir. You got to. You have to that's very very fucking

[00:13:32] important. That totally overrides any of the incest clauses. And besides that was before

[00:13:39] God talked to Moses on Mount Sinai so it's all good. It's all good. It's all good. Yep. Do not

[00:13:45] violate your father by having sexual relations with your mother for God's sakes. She is your

[00:13:52] mother you must not have sexual relations with her. They literally invented motherfucker.

[00:14:00] Oh my gosh. Do not have sexual relations with any of your father's wives. Any of his wives.

[00:14:09] Any of them. None of them. For this would violate your father. That's why. Right. Not because it's

[00:14:15] wrong to do that to all those. But I mean if he's being greedy he's got a big old harem you

[00:14:19] know like. Share pops. Yeah. Right. Like what if he's got all the women in the area. Like dude.

[00:14:24] No. You realize he's like talking to guys because women couldn't possibly enjoy sex. Yeah. Obviously.

[00:14:32] Right. Do not have sexual relations with your sister or half sister whether she is your father's

[00:14:37] daughter or your mother's daughter. Right. Whether she was born into your household or someone

[00:14:42] else's. Okay. Don't fuck your sister. Do not have sexual relations with your granddaughter

[00:14:51] whether she is your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter for this would violate

[00:14:55] yourself. Yeah. Don't fuck your granddaughter. Yeah. Good. Again. Good advice. Good advice.

[00:15:05] I'm down with this chapter. This is good stuff. I find it like odd. I mean I understand that I am

[00:15:16] socially geared to already find incest grody so I'm not sure how much of this is just me versus

[00:15:25] how much of this is humans don't like it but I find it very sad and disturbing that they had

[00:15:32] actually spell out don't fuck your mom. Don't fuck your sister. Don't fuck your granddaughter.

[00:15:38] Right. And again I still have trouble figuring out how this works on a Sunday school level.

[00:15:44] Right. Right. That is a very fine question. I'm sure they don't use the F word. Right.

[00:15:51] Do not have sexual relations with your step sister the daughter of any of your father's

[00:15:56] wives for she is your sister. I mean technically. I don't know. I'd give that one a wink and a nod.

[00:16:06] Do not have sexual relations with your father's sister for she is your father's close relative.

[00:16:12] Don't fuck your aunt. Don't fuck your aunt. Do not have sexual relations with your mother's

[00:16:17] sister for she is your mother's close relative. No aunt fucking. Yeah. No aunt fucking.

[00:16:23] Do not violate your uncle your father's brother by having sexual relations with his wife for she is

[00:16:29] your aunt still no aunt fucking still like they're just covering every which way here. I know.

[00:16:36] Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son's wife so you must

[00:16:43] not have sexual relations with her. Right. Well I know that you were thinking about

[00:16:47] fucking your daughter-in-law so it's the Bible that's holding you back. Right husband. Not even a

[00:16:52] little bit. That's just so gross and disturbing. Yeah. Do not have sexual relations with your

[00:17:00] brother's wife for this would violate your brother. Do not have sexual relations with

[00:17:08] both a woman and her daughter. No. Don't do it. Yeah. And do not take her granddaughter.

[00:17:27] Especially at the same time. Whether her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter

[00:17:31] and have sexual relations with her they are close relatives and this would be a wicked act.

[00:17:37] If you're fucking this one woman that's fine but then if you are like the next night like

[00:17:43] that was fun I wonder if she has any other relatives. You can't fuck any of them. Got it.

[00:17:48] Got it. Yeah. So it's not necessarily saying like at the same time just like once you fuck

[00:17:53] that one don't be fucking any of the other ones related to her. Yeah. Okay. Which I mean that

[00:17:57] kind of makes sense. Yeah. I mean like I said some of this is good stuff. It's just that

[00:18:02] they had to spell it out in this is in the Bible. This is the Bible we're reading. This is

[00:18:07] this is still you know God's word apparently. Yeah. Not not just rules to live by but God's word.

[00:18:13] Yeah. God spelled this out. Two humans. God said don't be a motherfucker. I find this very hard

[00:18:20] to believe and I mean right you know yeah general but you know right this part is really

[00:18:27] disturbing to me. Yeah. Right. While your wife is living do not marry her sister and have sexual

[00:18:34] relations with her for they would be rivals. Didn't that already happen? Yeah I did actually.

[00:18:42] Yeah because the one guy that one of the one sister but he had to marry the other one. Was

[00:18:47] it Jacob? Yeah I think it was Jacob and then he had to work for seven years and then he

[00:18:52] tricked them and wasn't one of those girls named Zepora. I don't know now you're getting

[00:18:56] too far above my. But it was Jacob I'm pretty sure. Yeah that was all okay. I guess it was

[00:19:03] but God didn't like it so much. So maybe he wrote the rule after because you know again.

[00:19:08] We learned about pre Moses versus post Moses. Right. Right. Well that didn't go down so well

[00:19:15] then women were bitches at each other's throats better make a rule about that one. Right.

[00:19:20] Yeah. Not a ten commandments kind of rule. Right. Just a just a law book. Permanent rule. Right.

[00:19:27] Do not have sexual relations with a woman during her period of menstrual impurity. They already

[00:19:32] covered that although it's just seven days of whatever. Impurity. Yeah. She's impure. She's

[00:19:39] a piece of shit. Sometimes she's a piece of shit and sometimes she's a bleeding piece of shit.

[00:19:45] Do not defile yourself by having sexual intercourse with your neighbor's wife.

[00:19:51] Do not permit any of your children to be offered as a sacrifice to Mollack. To what?

[00:19:57] M-O-L-E-C-H Mollack. What the fuck is that? For you must not bring shame on the name of your

[00:20:03] God I am the Lord. What the fuck is Mollack? What's a Mollack? I guess we have another question.

[00:20:10] Is this another God? I don't know. Is this the goat God? I don't know but that's very I mean like

[00:20:15] that just out of nowhere. It's just like out of the blue. Yeah Mollack. Hey Mollack what's up?

[00:20:19] No sacrifice into you though. No fucking this no fucking that no fucking this and don't sacrifice

[00:20:25] to Mollack. Maybe it's that goat idol they were talking about in my other second. I literally

[00:20:29] just said is that the goat God. I don't listen very well so. I noticed because you're always

[00:20:32] like cutting me off and stuff like talking over me. I know. And like I'll make a joke but

[00:20:37] you were so intent on laughing at your own joke that you don't hear me. I yeah but I go back and

[00:20:42] listen to the episodes and then I hear you and then I feel bad. You should. Yeah I do. Do you really

[00:20:46] feel bad? Sometimes. Okay good. What do you mean sometimes? I mean when you do it? Yeah.

[00:20:51] You just rolled your eyes I don't believe you. Let's go on with this episode.

[00:20:57] I'm gonna sacrifice you to Mollack alright. Yeah right. Do not practice homosexuality

[00:21:02] having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin. So there it is. It's actually

[00:21:08] said like right in the Bible that's horrible. That is horrible and just to like be clear

[00:21:15] that is one of the most deplorable ones and we are allies of the LGBTQ plus community and

[00:21:23] I do not ascribe to the don't be homosexual part of the Bible. I mean I think they

[00:21:29] probably would have guessed that about us. But just in case like other views. Just in case somebody

[00:21:34] else is just stepping in I never want anybody to think that I would be the person that would say

[00:21:41] yeah don't be gay. Like no. Well it's one of our major hang ups with the Bible and religion

[00:21:46] religion in general. Right. I can't talk I'm like stuttering. Yeah it's fine. Gay is fine

[00:21:54] and Bible bad. Yeah gay good Bible bad got it. A man must not I don't like this. A man must not defile

[00:22:03] himself by having sex with an animal and a woman must not offer herself to a male animal to have

[00:22:08] intercourse with. This is a perverse act. I mean I'm down with that. That that that one I agree

[00:22:15] with no animal fucking yeah no goat fucking. I don't I don't see how that helps anybody in

[00:22:21] yeah and I don't I don't think that the animal consents to the animal does not consent.

[00:22:26] I can assure you the animal does not consent. Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways

[00:22:33] for the people I am driving out before you have defiled themselves in all these ways.

[00:22:39] Whoa dang there was some serious incest and go fucking yeah apparently that was all kinds

[00:22:45] of debauchery. Damn because the entire land has become defiled I am punishing the people who live

[00:22:52] there I will cause the land to vomit them out. Vomit them out. Okay the land's gonna throw up

[00:23:00] and all them bitches gonna fly you must obey all my decrees and regulations you must not

[00:23:07] commit any of these detestable sins this applies both to native born Israelites and

[00:23:13] to the foreigners living among you. All these detestable activities are practiced by the people

[00:23:19] of the land where I am taking you and this is how the land has become defiled so do not defile

[00:23:25] the land and give it a reason to vomit you out as it will vomit out the people who live there now.

[00:23:32] Whoever commits any of these detestable sins will be cut off from the community of Israel

[00:23:37] so obey my instructions and do not defile yourselves by committing any of these detestable

[00:23:43] practices that were committed by the people who lived in the land before you I am the Lord your God

[00:23:49] the end. You know it's he has to name drop every time he talks to people don't forget I'm God yeah

[00:23:57] I'm God just in case in case you forgot I mean I am God I don't know why you would forget he's

[00:24:02] God but apparently it's he's forgettable oh hey I'm God and then they go and worship goats and stuff

[00:24:08] and like they're like I don't know whatever well I was thinking x y and z but you know I'm God right

[00:24:16] um I just gotta say at once at least in this section God's a dick God is a dick you know all

[00:24:20] that shit with the gay stuff yeah because that was the that was not okay like the homosexuality

[00:24:26] in band that's not okay that's not okay you you could do whatever you want yeah love is love

[00:24:32] God's a dick God's a dick all right yeah I think we're done I think we're done all right um yeah

[00:24:39] we'll see you guys on Tuesday and get those get those questions into us by whatever time

[00:24:45] five five Sunday five p.m. Eastern yeah oh and we have a new ending so like you know hang tight

[00:24:50] and listen to it yeah um also if you know who mollock is you can email us about that too yeah

[00:24:56] we'd love to hear from you guys all right all right see ya husband yeah wife um it's the end so

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